Toddler advice thread #3

[WeHadFunRight]

Ohhh that’s adorable. Mine will only hug certain people. He’s just wary I guess. I know I don’t know why I’m bothered by it and I don’t know why she is bothered by what I’m doing . She’s my good friend but we definitely have different parenting styles
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This is what mine is like. When I pick him up he puts his hand on my cheek and smiles at me. He often sits on my knee when we get in for a bit. He loves lying on me., and he does like to perch on my shoulder like a parrot ( sorry I didn’t mean I was wondering if he has additional needs for doing that. I mean he has additional needs so I’m wondering if that contributes to why or he’s just like that naturally. )

Oh yeah! No I fully got that! Mine doesn’t have additional needs and she sounds exactly the same as your little one in the affectionate category. It is a little exhausting but utterly lovely

 

[LongishCat]

I just need to rant about my friend. I love her to bits but I feel like we’re really clashing lately. She’s out spoken and quite bolshy. She has two kids her oldest is a month younger than mine. I feel I should stress she didn’t birth the babies her girlfriend did. They used a sperm donor. She’s made a few digs that mine is clingy cos I let him sleep in my bed. She said them going in their own room is part of growing up / gaining independence. And she also said if you put them to bed awake they’re less likely to be clingy during the night. She’s said before as well that I should get him out of my bed before he goes to school. Why does it matter where he sleeps as long as me him and my partner are ok with it. . I always feel inferior to her cos mine is quite clingy. Doesn’t sleep in his own room and isn’t a little genius like her daughter. I can’t really get this off my chest to anyone else. My other friend knows her and I feel she would take her side too just cos of her parenting style. I mentioned it to my fella and he said tell her to do 1 all kids are different . I’m not sure why it bothers me so much. But mine actually sleeps really well most of the time. Just the other week he kept waking up but touch wood he’s slept well for the last two and she’s always moaning she’s hardly slept. Parenting is so hard sometimes. I don’t really know what the point of this was. I just wanted to get it written down somewhere .

So I don't usually comment here, as my daughter isn't a toddler yet, but reading ahead you know.
Others have already said you shouldn't feel bad. Every kid is different and you should do what feels best for you and your family, what other people do isn't important.

However, I want to genuinely ask you why you "should stress she didn't birth the baby". Why does that matter? Are dads less important as they didn't birth a baby? Are people who adopt less knowledgeable because they didn't birth their kids? I really don't get it. I don't ask this to cause a scene. It's just sad to see how much stigma same sex couples still have to deal with, in this day and age.

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

So I don't usually comment here, as my daughter isn't a toddler yet, but reading ahead you know.
Others have already said you shouldn't feel bad. Every kid is different and you should do what feels best for you and your family, what other people do isn't important.

However, I want to genuinely ask you why you "should stress she didn't birth the baby". Why does that matter? Are dads less important as they didn't birth a baby? Are people who adopt less knowledgeable because they didn't birth their kids? I really don't get it. I don't ask this to cause a scene. It's just sad to see how much stigma same sex couples still have to deal with, in this day and age.

I didn’t mean it in a bad way. I mean compared to her girlfriend she is completely opposite. Like her girlfriend Is like most of us on here. Where we worry a lot and question things our kids do. Question ourselves. She’s a fab hands on mum to her two kids and their daughter always says she is her fav parent. she is just different from other mums I know. Tougher I guess. No dads aren’t less important but they don’t have the same instincts as us. I cant really explain it in a way where it makes sense. I didn’t word it very well cos I was a little pissed off. This week is where quite a few comments have come up and im a bit agitated. But I hold my hands up and agree i shouldn’t have said that part. It doesn’t take away the fact she loves her kids and the kids think she’s amazing.

 

[LongishCat]

I didn’t mean it in a bad way. I mean compared to her girlfriend she is completely opposite. Like her girlfriend Is like most of us on here. Where we worry a lot and question things our kids do. Question ourselves. She’s a fab hands on mum to her two kids and their daughter always says she is her fav parent. she is just different from other mums I know. Tougher I guess. No dads aren’t less important but they don’t have the same instincts as us. I cant really explain it in a way where it makes sense. I didn’t word it very well cos I was a little pissed off. This week is where quite a few comments have come up and im a bit agitated. But I hold my hands up and agree i shouldn’t have said that part. It doesn’t take away the fact she loves her kids and the kids think she’s amazing.

Please rest assured that she also questions herself. Every parent does. Maybe she doesn't talk about it, she might even feel like she can't, who knows.
But if I've learned one thing, being a mom, every parent worries, every parent cares.

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Please rest assured that she also questions herself. Every parent does. Maybe she doesn't talk about it, she might even feel like she can't, who knows.
But if I've learned one thing, being a mom, every parent worries, every parent cares.

Maybe yeah. You just don’t know What someone else is thinking. I never worried so much until I became a parent

 

[LongishCat]

Maybe yeah. You just don’t know What someone else is thinking. I never worried so much until I became a parent

That's why you should never just assume though
Some people talk about their feelings, some people love to boast about their lives/children, some don't, everyone's different. I just don't see how that's related to having birthed a child or not?
Anyway, as you were

 

[Pinkii]

I just need to rant about my friend. I love her to bits but I feel like we’re really clashing lately. She’s out spoken and quite bolshy. She has two kids her oldest is a month younger than mine. I feel I should stress she didn’t birth the babies her girlfriend did. They used a sperm donor. She’s made a few digs that mine is clingy cos I let him sleep in my bed. She said them going in their own room is part of growing up / gaining independence. And she also said if you put them to bed awake they’re less likely to be clingy during the night. She’s said before as well that I should get him out of my bed before he goes to school. Why does it matter where he sleeps as long as me him and my partner are ok with it. . I always feel inferior to her cos mine is quite clingy. Doesn’t sleep in his own room and isn’t a little genius like her daughter. I can’t really get this off my chest to anyone else. My other friend knows her and I feel she would take her side too just cos of her parenting style. I mentioned it to my fella and he said tell her to do 1 all kids are different . I’m not sure why it bothers me so much. But mine actually sleeps really well most of the time. Just the other week he kept waking up but touch wood he’s slept well for the last two and she’s always moaning she’s hardly slept. Parenting is so hard sometimes. I don’t really know what the point of this was. I just wanted to get it written down somewhere .

in my experience, when people try to give advice like that, it’s usually because they are doubting their own abilities or want other people to do as they do to validate their parenting choices.

as friends its fine to discuss and try to advise if someone asks for it, but if someone hasn’t asked and a friend is still trying to ‘help’ its usually because of the above.

Dont let it get to you, if you’re happy and your kid is happy then you’re doing well.

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

in my experience, when people try to give advice like that, it’s usually because they are doubting their own abilities or want other people to do as they do to validate their parenting choices.

as friends its fine to discuss and try to advise if someone asks for it, but if someone hasn’t asked and a friend is still trying to ‘help’ its usually because of the above.

Dont let it get to you, if you’re happy and your kid is happy then you’re doing well.

Yeah If I’ll just say something about mine like oh he still doesn’t wanna sleep I’m his own bed. She is like well mine loves her room snd wants to show it off to everyone. I know she is proud her kid is doing so well but sometimes I don’t need to know things like that. I sent her a quote the other day about embracing the time they want to sleep in your bed etc and she said we never allow them to sleep in our bed cos of what could happen. Like each to their own but thanks for that . Sometimes I wish I didn’t tell her he sleeps in my bed.

 

[Definitelyme]

Yeah If I’ll just say something about mine she’ll be like oh he still doesn’t wanna sleep I’m his own bed. She is like well mine loves her room snd wants to show it off to everyone. I know she is proud her kid is doing so well but sometimes I don’t need to know things like that. I sent her a quote the other day about embracing the time they want to sleep in your bed etc and she said we never allow them to sleep in our bed cos of what could happen. Like each to their own but thanks for that . Sometimes I wish I didn’t tell her he sleeps in my bed.

Just ignore her if you don’t agree that’s what I do with all the unsolicited advice I’ve been given over the last decade. I think sending her stuff probably makes her feel she is being judged the same was you do
And possibly she isn’t wrong, as your opinion of her parenting doesn’t seem very high. Maybe she gets that vibe and is trying to prove that she is a good enough parent.

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Just ignore her if you don’t agree that’s what I do with all the unsolicited advice I’ve been given over the last decade. I think sending her stuff probably makes her feel she is being judged the same was you do
And possibly she isn’t wrong, as your opinion of her parenting doesn’t seem very high. Maybe she gets that vibe and is trying to prove that she is a good enough parent.

I didn’t think of it that way but I was just sending it to say isn’t this cute. It was about them not staying little for long. I’ve said she is a fab mum and her kids adore her.

 

[LongishCat]

Yeah If I’ll just say something about mine like oh he still doesn’t wanna sleep I’m his own bed. She is like well mine loves her room snd wants to show it off to everyone. I know she is proud her kid is doing so well but sometimes I don’t need to know things like that. I sent her a quote the other day about embracing the time they want to sleep in your bed etc and she said we never allow them to sleep in our bed cos of what could happen. Like each to their own but thanks for that . Sometimes I wish I didn’t tell her he sleeps in my bed.

So you're both trying to prove you're right and getting on each other's nerves?

 

[Definitelyme]

I didn’t think of it that way but I was just sending it to say isn’t this cute. It was about them not staying little for long. I’ve said she is a fab mum and her kids adore her.

But if you know it’s not how she parents then she obviously won’t find it cute, think how you’d feel if she sent you something front her “side”…
You guys obviously have very different parenting styles, and that can make friendship difficult while you have young kids.

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

But if you know it’s not how she parents then she obviously won’t find it cute, think how you’d feel if she sent you something front her “side”…
You guys obviously have very different parenting styles, and that can make friendship difficult while you have young kids.

Well obviously I didnt think.

 

[Pinkii]

Parenting is bleeping tough as it is without trying to compete with each other all the time over parenting styles, no one is a perfect parent unfortunately , we’re all here trying to do the best we can.

 

[watermelon sugar]

Anyone got any advice on how to make their toddler sit and take throat spray? I’ve been prescribed some for mine’s sore throat and he literally screams when he sees me come with the box and the first time his Dad sprayed it it basically just went on his tongue rather than on his tonsils/his throat like it’s supposed to lol.

Also i’ve caught whatever he has had all week so has his Dad, he seems to be recovering from the sickness and it’s just begun for us

 

[WeHadFunRight]

Anyone got any advice on how to make their toddler sit and take throat spray? I’ve been prescribed some for mine’s sore throat and he literally screams when he sees me come with the box and the first time his Dad sprayed it it basically just went on his tongue rather than on his tonsils/his throat like it’s supposed to lol.

Also i’ve caught whatever he has had all week so has his Dad, he seems to be recovering from the sickness and it’s just begun for us

I have limited experience of success with getting mine to take medicine, but your best bet could be either making a game of it or involving toys too. Mine has an inhaler we used to have to pin her down for (horrible), but she chilled out when we’d make all her toys and us have a turn first, and she would administer it. Silly noises etc are prerequisite…

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Anyone got any advice on how to make their toddler sit and take throat spray? I’ve been prescribed some for mine’s sore throat and he literally screams when he sees me come with the box and the first time his Dad sprayed it it basically just went on his tongue rather than on his tonsils/his throat like it’s supposed to lol.

Also i’ve caught whatever he has had all week so has his Dad, he seems to be recovering from the sickness and it’s just begun for us

Would it be easier to give him ice cream .

 

[ElektraWintour]

Hi, normally lurk, have a 3yo and when you lot were saying the other day about 3yo’s I was thinking I don’t know what they mean, mine’s adorable. Until today where she is pushing every single button jeeeeez. Now I get it

 

[SwizzleMalarkey]

My 3 year old is amazing, he’s really hit his stride since he turned 3 and his communication (he has a speech delay) has come on leaps and bounds, although still behind his peers. But he was so difficult from 18-30 months - multiple tantrums a day, every day(!) so I’m hoping this is our reward for getting through that tough bit!

 

[TheBabeWithThePower]

My 3 year old is amazing, he’s really hit his stride since he turned 3 and his communication (he has a speech delay) has come on leaps and bounds, although still behind his peers. But he was so difficult from 18-30 months - multiple tantrums a day, every day(!) so I’m hoping this is our reward for getting through that tough bit!

Yeah, I am basing this on almost nothing (the experience of me and 3 friends) but two of us had a lovely easy time with young toddlers and the other 2 were really hard work and then when they got to between 2.5 and 3 they switched, the easy ones became hard and the hard ones easy!