Toddler advice thread #3

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Those who stay with your little ones until they're asleep, what do you then do if they wake and scream every time they realise you're not there. It's constant with mini Pillows at the moment, and I mean proper full on hysteria

Mine does this and I have to keep going in and getting back. But usually he doesn’t get up. It only sometimes he wakes up crying. I feel your pain tho it’s hard work ain’t it

 

[Higuyswelcometomychannel]

Those who stay with your little ones until they're asleep, what do you then do if they wake and scream every time they realise you're not there. It's constant with mini Pillows at the moment, and I mean proper full on hysteria

Sleep in a chair… or rather, my partner does! (He took charge of the toddler when we had a second baby, I take charge of him). It comes in cycles though, sometimes he’s fine but then has nights where he won’t be left. Definitely getting better as he’s getting older though!

 

[squatternutbosh]

Those who stay with your little ones until they're asleep, what do you then do if they wake and scream every time they realise you're not there. It's constant with mini Pillows at the moment, and I mean proper full on hysteria

I co slept with my child from birth to around 3.5.
Yes, she was one of them children who woke up atleast 5 times a night and I tried everything and exhausted all avenues and before I lost my will to live I literally gave up in the end.
When I was asleep next to her she slept better, I slept better, she had the comfort & support & security she needed from me and this over time developed her confidence & created a positive association with bedtime. Eventually she started sleeping alone without me.
i appreciate this approach might not be everyone’s cup of tea but worked for us.

 

[PillowsofFluff]

I settle her back down… ideally I try not to get back in with her, just encourage to lie back down and put my arm on her as reassurance until she goes back off. some nights are better than others… is mini pillows processing something at the moment? Any big changes happening or on the horizon?

No, not that I can think of...

I've just sat with her for the best part of an hour trying to get her to sleep. Every time I think she is and leave the room, she howls. I mean, it's an ear piercing shriek actually rather than a cry.
She self settled from 4 months up until maybe November/December time. I don't get it.
It's been so bad lately sleep wise I've been thinking of running away and just leaving. The only thing that stops me is knowing my partner couldn't cope on his own.

 

[Definitelyme]

Those who stay with your little ones until they're asleep, what do you then do if they wake and scream every time they realise you're not there. It's constant with mini Pillows at the moment, and I mean proper full on hysteria

Go back and stay until they are asleep again. And repeat. It doesn’t last forever.

ETA: there is obviously a need there to be close to an adult, for whatever reason, so I think that should be respected through the evening and night as much as you would if they were upset during the day.

 

[WeHadFunRight]

No, not that I can think of...

I've just sat with her for the best part of an hour trying to get her to sleep. Every time I think she is and leave the room, she howls. I mean, it's an ear piercing shriek actually rather than a cry.
She self settled from 4 months up until maybe November/December time. I don't get it.
It's been so bad lately sleep wise I've been thinking of running away and just leaving. The only thing that stops me is knowing my partner couldn't cope on his own.

Jesus, that’s rough on you big time. Might feel like a backwards step but can you stick her in your bed for a bit? I’ve noticed mine wakes much less if she’s in our bed. If we’re having a rough time of it she goes in there for a few days then we put her back in hers and see if her sleep improves. Also can you maybe let her sleep with something you’ve been wearing? She might find that reassuring as she drifts off and falls into a deeper sleep?

is she in a deep enough sleep when you leave her? Just trying to think of possibilities x

 

[watermelon sugar]

No, not that I can think of...

I've just sat with her for the best part of an hour trying to get her to sleep. Every time I think she is and leave the room, she howls. I mean, it's an ear piercing shriek actually rather than a cry.
She self settled from 4 months up until maybe November/December time. I don't get it.
It's been so bad lately sleep wise I've been thinking of running away and just leaving. The only thing that stops me is knowing my partner couldn't cope on his own.

I also leave something smelling of me with my little one and also leave him cuddling a small teddy so the shock of me not being there isn’t much/he doesn’t notice a lot cos he’s too busy cuddling the teddy. How long do you wait until you leave the room? when my boyfriend puts our son down he gets up straight away soon as our son is asleep and more often than not, our son wakes up straight away. i will lie there and wait till he’s deffo asleep, then wait another 15 mins just to make sure he is deffo asleep. if i’ve not already fell asleep that is

 

[al255]

I used to do the “excuse me” method.. so something I’ve done for ages is ask her to roll over and give her teddy a cuddle then I’ll say “excuse me I need to go and turn the heating on” and she won’t want to come cos it’s boring and pointless.. then I manage to get out! Some nights she wants me to lie next to her for a little bit and that’s fine but I’d say 5/7 nights the excuse me method works for me!

 

[watermelon sugar]

I used to do the “excuse me” method.. so something I’ve done for ages is ask her to roll over and give her teddy a cuddle then I’ll say “excuse me I need to go and turn the heating on” and she won’t want to come cos it’s boring and pointless.. then I manage to get out! Some nights she wants me to lie next to her for a little bit and that’s fine but I’d say 5/7 nights the excuse me method works for me!

God you’re lucky, mine jumps up and goes ‘I’LL COME TOO’

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

God you’re lucky, mine jumps up and goes ‘I’LL COME TOO’

Mine also follows me everywhere. He’s been known to stand and watch me pee at 3 am

 

[al255]

God you’re lucky, mine jumps up and goes ‘I’LL COME TOO’

if I say anything other than that she wants to come. I used to say excuse me I’m opening the bathroom window, or excuse me I’m just doing x y z, anything boring that she wouldn’t want to come and do. God forbid I’m saying I’m going for a wee, that won’t work she wants to come

 

[LittleMissSassyPants]

Just wanted to nip in here and say thank you to those of you who gave me advice a couple of days ago when I was struggling - since then I have come down with a cold and I think this is what little one has had and therefore she's been more irritable and just not cooperating at all. She did complain her head hurt last week before bed but she had calpol and went to sleep and never mentioned it again so I guess she has been feeling poorly but not known how to vocalise it. She hasn't had any cough or cold symptoms until today but her behaviour has been so much better and even though I'm not feeling great I at least know what's been causing it all so I feel so much better just for that!

I don't have any friends with any children who are at a similar stage or age so I'm definitely going to come in this thread more often I found it so helpful, thank you all x

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Is anyone off with your little ones over half term. Me and my boy have 11 days off together I’m not sure what we’re gonna do!

 

[WeHadFunRight]

Is anyone off with your little ones over half term. Me and my boy have 11 days off together I’m not sure what we’re gonna do!

How old is he?

I have most of half term off, I’ll be doing a mixture of things, I think I’m going to take her to the zoo (but actually we’re going to the soft play and the animatronic dinosaur part not the main zoo), I’m going to try and take her to the farm and the other days we’ll just spend low key indoors, might do a bit of baking with her and one day we’ll probably just laze about because she likes doing that.I wouldn’t normally try and do so much but it’s our last few days before her baby sister gets here so I want to make the most of it.

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

How old is he?

I have most of half term off, I’ll be doing a mixture of things, I think I’m going to take her to the zoo (but actually we’re going to the soft play and the animatronic dinosaur part not the main zoo), I’m going to try and take her to the farm and the other days we’ll just spend low key indoors, might do a bit of baking with her and one day we’ll probably just laze about because she likes doing that.I wouldn’t normally try and do so much but it’s our last few days before her baby sister gets here so I want to make the most of it.

aww really!! When are you due. Is she excited to be a big sister. How old is yours.
He is 3. 4 in April! Sounds like we have similar ideas. I was thinking a farm but so he can see tractors more than the animals. He’s tractor mad. We’re going to my mums for some baking during the week . So her kitchen can get trashed instead of mine . We’ve got soft play at the weekend. Football also. And then I was thinking not too any other paid activities really as we went soft play on Sunday as well. It all adds up! Hopefully if the weather stays nice we’ll go quite a few walks. He loves walking!!

 

[TheBabeWithThePower]

Is anyone off with your little ones over half term. Me and my boy have 11 days off together I’m not sure what we’re gonna do!

Yes... Slightly dreading it tbh, I used to love it when it was just me and her but trying to juggle her needs, the baby's needs, naps for the baby etc gets pretty stressful especially when it's crap weather so we can't just spend the whole time outside!
I'm also miserable and don't like to go to soft play in school holidays as it's feral

There are drop in arts and crafts sessions at a local museum that I expect we'll go to once or twice, probably go to the library, maybe head to a quieter soft play that's just for under fives, swap playdates with friends so we can take turns having our houses trashed and pray for some breaks in the weather so we can get out to a park or on the scooter! Nothing very original but hopefully it'll keep us going.

 

[Definitelyme]

Is anyone off with your little ones over half term. Me and my boy have 11 days off together I’m not sure what we’re gonna do!

I am off every holiday with the kids. We always go out somewhere, morning or afternoon, such as the park, for a bike ride etc. I have a list on my phone of local places to go, some which are an hour of entertainment, some which are all day. Almost all are free. So if we have a day and I dunno what to do I just pull something from the list.

 

[WeHadFunRight]

aww really!! When are you due. Is she excited to be a big sister. How old is yours.
He is 3. 4 in April! Sounds like we have similar ideas. I was thinking a farm but so he can see tractors more than the animals. He’s tractor mad. We’re going to my mums for some baking during the week . So her kitchen can get trashed instead of mine . We’ve got soft play at the weekend. Football also. And then I was thinking not too any other paid activities really as we went soft play on Sunday as well. It all adds up! Hopefully if the weather stays nice we’ll go quite a few walks. He loves walking!!

Due on the 26 Feb, hoping my consultant will agree that she can stay in until then!

mine isn’t really a toddler anymore she’s 5 in May, but relate a lot to the posts on here!

she can’t wait to be a big sister, she’s so loving. I thought kids kissing your belly was an instagram pose thing but she does it completely unprompted

I like doing cheap n easy things with them and I think they can get overwhelmed when you try and over plan xx

 

[TheBabeWithThePower]

I am off every holiday with the kids. We always go out somewhere, morning or afternoon, such as the park, for a bike ride etc. I have a list on my phone of local places to go, some which are an hour of entertainment, some which are all day. Almost all are free. So if we have a day and I dunno what to do I just pull something from the list.

I second a list! At the beginning of the summer holidays we had a rainy day so I sat with my little one who at that point had just turned 3 and we wrote down like 50+ ideas of things we wanted to do/see/achieve over the summer holidays.
It really helped when we had a day without plans, she loved ticking things off and we wrote it on a big piece of cardboard and decorated it so just making the list was an activity!
Plus did it all with a little baby in tow.

 

[al255]

Just had to wake Mini A up fully cos since 7:30pm all she’s done is cough cough cough and as I still use a monitor it was driving me mad! She’s not coughed again and wouldn’t sip water half asleep Jesus Christ !!!!!!!!!