Toddler Advice Thread #2

[BettyCrockerr]

She was around them Friday and Saturday. The person told me late Sunday. I let's hope.
I just don't want to go through trying again..she was terrified..we was trying so hard to be careful and not scare her. it would take three of us to do it next time. I can't get her to be afraid when going nearby her face. Especially her nose when we do nosey nosey kisses. But I have to fight it to make sure she is well. Shame their no easier way.

Unless she becomes unwell and showing symptoms then I wouldn’t do it again personally

 

[WhatABore]

So I bought some ibroprofen thanks to everyone's advice.

I called 111 again because she keeps being sick and her temperature was above 40 this morning.
111 have said "You've already been told what it is, we can't do any more for you. Try to calm your worries and listen to the doctor"

I get i might be being over anxious. But surely being sick and everything isn't normal for "Probably just a respitory tract infection"
4 days straight of raised temperature and everything else with no sign of it easing up.

I've been told what it "Probably" is. Not exactly what it is
How many times do you see stories of really ill children when it's written off as just a viral infection?

 

[Jellybean093]

mine goes next to the fridge and like squats and goes then he ALWAYS opens the fridge when he’s done. Like he’s just cleared himself to make room for food

We still talking about toddler watermelon and not Mr Watermelon

 

[watermelon sugar]

My toddler decided the perfect time to say ‘oh my GODDD’ for the first time was in front of our HV at his 2.5 check last week

 

[Definitelyme]

When I was younger I always said I do not want any children after 30. Yet, here we are. With 2 kids after 30
In my 20s I thought 30 was old. Now I’m here, it’s not too bad!

@Definitelyme you are the one that made me realise how shit 4months+ is, and after 3 kids, I couldn’t understand why. Definitely the worst age for babies!

My neighbour today said “maybe when I’m older, like 30” i felt like the old pensioner next door

 

[Octopies]

I had the pressure of my partners Mum to potty train after she kept commenting on my partners cousins kids about how disgusting it is changing a 3 year olds nappy. And all kids should be potty trained well before 3

My LO is 18 months and we’re going on holiday soon.

My MIL keeps going on about how she potty trained her daughter at a similar age on holiday - they had a potty round the pool and found it really easy to direct her there when she needed to ‘go’. Basically hinting we should do the same.

I said to my OH why would other holiday makers want to watch your child potty training all week?!!!!

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

I was absolute furious. This is her wrist. I took a photo in the bath to show him cos he didn’t really understand how bad it was and why nursery were so concerned!!

So I said to her did you burn your wrist on daddy cooker and she said yeah, she pointed to it and firmly told me what happened. So she’s defo not going this weekend cos I refuse to send her she won’t be going for a full weekend unless I am desperately needing a break but I’d rather have her with me and be tired and drag her round the shops with me than her risk anything over 2 days cos he can’t be a bloody parent!!!! I went mental. I just said you don’t seem to care, only tonight he said he feels awful but that was after he lied and couldn’t get his story straight about whether or not he put water on it. He said she didn’t cry and he didn’t know and then the next he said he put running water on it cos she was crying. He was obviously stressed out this weekend but that’s not my problem. I have her all week and I don’t lose all control of parenting

Yep you’re doing the right thing !! God I’d have gone mental too. Especially as nursery flagged it up!
i mean do us mums have to do every Without a break!!!.
hope you are ok and she is too.

My son has fallen at nursery today and not one teacher told us!!! I sent them an email and will be having words in the morning as how could they not have noticed this on his cheek?!

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

My LO is 18 months and we’re going on holiday soon.

My MIL keeps going on about how she potty trained her daughter at a similar age on holiday - they had a potty round the pool and found it really easy to direct her there when she needed to ‘go’. Basically hinting we should do the same.

I said to my OH why would other holiday makers want to watch your child potty training all week?!!!!

My mum and dad suggested I potty train mine whilst we went on holiday. Why would you spend a holiday with that task .
We had a big argument. I don’t need people telling me ( whether they are my parents or not ) when I should be potty training MY son
He’s 3 and still in nappies. He’s just not ready. He won’t be in them forever

 

[watermelon sugar]

If I put my son in his room in bed by himself and left he’d just get up and start doing laps of his room I am jealous of anyones child who can go to sleep by themselves

 

[al255]

Omg !! I would absolutely kill him if I was you!! How can he be so relaxed that she has burnt herself and not even explain to you what happened. How old is she can you ask her what happened ? God he sounds infuriating £ like he can’t be assed.
ifi was you I would stop her going for a bit but that doesn’t give you a break I guess. Does she like going ? He sounds hard work no wonder you kicked him to the curb

I was absolute furious. This is her wrist. I took a photo in the bath to show him cos he didn’t really understand how bad it was and why nursery were so concerned!!

So I said to her did you burn your wrist on daddy cooker and she said yeah, she pointed to it and firmly told me what happened. So she’s defo not going this weekend cos I refuse to send her she won’t be going for a full weekend unless I am desperately needing a break but I’d rather have her with me and be tired and drag her round the shops with me than her risk anything over 2 days cos he can’t be a bloody parent!!!! I went mental. I just said you don’t seem to care, only tonight he said he feels awful but that was after he lied and couldn’t get his story straight about whether or not he put water on it. He said she didn’t cry and he didn’t know and then the next he said he put running water on it cos she was crying. He was obviously stressed out this weekend but that’s not my problem. I have her all week and I don’t lose all control of parenting

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

You guys giving me hope! Hopefully mine will be similar. I just want his to hear his little voice properly

 

[TheBabeWithThePower]

Funny my sister is about to start her 3yo using the toilet and I did say my advice is go straight to toilet as cleaning poo out of a potty is a job nobody should ever have to do

100% - when it comes to potty training baby I'll be getting him on the toilet within the first couple of days, it's so gross! How are their poos almost as big as them and so smelly too??

 

[Higuyswelcometomychannel]

Update- soon as she woke up at 5.45 she came into my bedroom and the potty was there from last night so she sat on it and said wee wee, and then when we came down for breakfast she did a wee herself on the potty and I didn’t have to ask her or even sit her on it What should I do about nursery Monday and Tuesday? I won’t take her with a nappy on cos nappies are only for bedtime now but she’s staying with no bottom half on here just for ease cos she/we can’t get her knickers down fast enough

Just send loads and loads of spare clothes & expect a lot of accidents that day, but don’t let it put you off at all. So many distractions at nursery!

 

[Buzzybee43]

Sorry to go back a few messages but I found when I had my second I made most of their dinners in the slow cooker at breakfast time (still do now!)
That way they are busy while I am prepping and then it’s just a case of dishing up at dinner time. Everyone’s routines are different but I found my slow cooker a godsend!

 

[Definitelyme]

@bottombanana I feel for you, I really do. My 4yo started preschool this year and we had some hard weeks of lots of crying beforehand, and walking up, and actually when she was there as well
And if the journey got delayed (eg if I stopped to speak to someone) that extra wait time really was hard and caused her to break down entirely. It was just the most awful time. I felt horrendous all day, like a big black cloud was over my head, it really affected my mood far more than I would have thought.
I think validating him, as you say, is really the only way to go. It’s a new, scary experience for a child, and they can’t calmly tell us that so the react the only way their little brain and body can - and unfortunately that’s awful for everyone. No type of discipline or hard line will work, because it’s just huge feelings and we can’t discipline that out of a child (nor would I ever want to).
Things that helped us are lots of calm chats about nursery later in the day when she was ready - allowing her to bring it up
Allowing her to take in a cuddly toy
Lots of cuddles and stories together at home cuddled up - some close connection time both before and immediately after nursery
Earlier bed time as it was worse towards the end of the week when she was knackered
Patience - which is 100% NOT my strong point as a parent. And was something I really struggled with.
Lots of reminders that I would be back in an hour (one finger to visualise) and what I would do when I was at home (“I’m just going to hang up the washing, give the baby a snack and then I’ll be back”)


In practical terms for walking and ensuring safety - what about a buggy board? Or would he scoot or ride a bike if it’s safe? Give him something to concentrate on that isn’t the walk up?

Ours has resolved in time, but it was horrendous, and I really do have huge sympathy right now for you x

Oh and just remembered my daughter (who has great vocabulary and is a chatty thing) didn’t even have the words to talk about why she didn’t want to go. She just knew that it didn’t feel right - but didn’t have the words to say she felt lonely and probably abandoned instead she would say scared, or anything else she could conjure up, but none of them were really how she felt, because she didn’t even know herself

 

[al255]

Unless she becomes unwell and showing symptoms then I wouldn’t do it again personally

i agree. I’ve had covid twice and the second time I had it, I didn’t bother testing my daughter. If she had a temp etc I’d just deal with it and assume she had covid. From the first time she had it, I knew what to look out for anyway. I’m sure they say don’t test babies/infants anyway as they don’t usually get unwell like adults do from covid. You’d just manage the symptoms and if they got worse, ring 111/999 as per any other illness x

 

[WhatABore]

Thank you, that makes me feel better. Before today I’d thought she’d come on so much. She’s able to talk a lot more to adults she doesn’t know and has made friends. Shes able to play as part of a group with them. I think she struggles with kids her age or younger who aren’t as verbal. She’s really good with waiting and taking turns so I think she just felt the injustice of it today.
I have a stay and play session tomorrow at the preschool so I’ll try and talk to them about it and see what they say.

It's always a struggle when teaching manners when other parents don't.

A few weeks ago, we were in a cafe with a small play area and I was helping my 4yo and told her to just wait for a little boy trying to get up. But because she was stood there waiting, several kids just pushed past her whilst she was patiently waiting. And I always feel so bad when it happens!

 

[WhatABore]

Been saying for weeks we will do the cot to bed transition at half term so if the nights go bad it doesn't matter as my partner will be off work... well the time is now here and I really don't want to

If it helps, my daughter and son have both gone straight in, no problems

I was dreading it both times!

 

[watermelon sugar]

Mine is at pre school 5 days a week. We chose to do this as we felt it was better for him than being at home with Mil. My days off changes every week so we can’t really book the days he’s in cos it’s a school based nursery and man I miss him already. I’m so not ready for him to start school next year . He went to nursery three days a week last year so it’s a big change 🥹🥹

at least the McDonald’s can finally stop!!

 

[WhatABore]

We called 111 yesterday after her temp wasn't coming down with calpol and it was 39.9.

She's got a cough, a runny nose (she had these before her temperature shot up) temp anywhere between 38 and 40. Complaining her back and belly hurts. Her head hurts. Being sick.

111 said someone will call you within an hour. It took 8 hours, at which point I was just putting her in bed when they rang.
Sent us to out of hours at 9pm.
For him to check her urine, ears, throat and listen to her chest and say he can't see nothing it's probably an upper respiratory tract infection.
Told us to keep giving calpol and sent us on our way.

I'll have to go get some ibroprofen and try that.
She just keeps crying bless her.

My little girl has just had something very similar apart from hers was also with a cold/cough. She wouldn’t eat for 3 days, was barely drinking anything, just wanted to sleep. She is an absolute nightmare when it comes to calpol/ibuprofen, I have to hide it in all sorts of places to get it down her like a sip of milk, yoghurt etc, which is ok when she will actually eat/drink I just let her sleep it off as when she was sleeping her temp seemed to naturally drop and I was at an absolute loss of what to do otherwise. By day 3 the temp had eased but her behaviour was still the same, very subdued, not herself at all. She woke up yesterday and it was like she was a different child, completely back to normal

This sounds very similar.
She was fine when she went to bed Thursday night. Jolly as anything. Normal self.
Woke up Friday morning and she just sat and cuddled me. Refused to eat.
Luckily she is still drinking. But food she won't have!

Have you tried ibuprofen? My daughter had a terrible fever on Wednesday calpol wasn’t bringing it down so the doctor said to use ibuprofen and calpol together which helped. The next day I used calpol didn’t work so used ibuprofen and that did. I wouldn’t do both without talking to a doctor. He prescribed antibiotics as she’s been ill consistently for 3 weeks culminating in the fever which has worked so she might have an infection?

I might call them again tomorrow if she's still like this because it'll be day 4 with no sign of getting better!
She's had a constant cough for 4 weeks now, which I did tell the doctor but he didn't seem bothered!

She looks so pale and it just breaks my heart!

She's never had a sickness bug or anything really so I think it adds to it that this is the first time she's really been ill!

She keeps asking me to take her back to the doctor to help her