Toddler Advice Thread #2

[Definitelyme]

im glad you’ve mentioned about having no patience. I lose my temper so much over small things sometimes and it’s cos I’ve not much patience It’s got somewhat better in nearly 3 years but WOW. Some days I’ve had enough

Oh I am just awful, it’s one of my worst qualities. I lose my patience so quickly, and my temper too. I hate it about myself and really do try to work on it.
I freaked the whole family out the other day because all the kids were in a mood, it was Monday afternoon which is a big homework day for the older kids, and it always ends up as chaos and I’m shouting. So on Monday I was super calm, and did lots of breathing the kids were like “why are you talking in that weird voice?”
“This is me calm and keeping my patience”
“It’s creepy”

 

[WhatABore]

@WhatABore so sorry it has gotten this bad for her. I hope the next few days aren’t too traumatic for you both. There is a good service called PALS you should talk to when you’re ready, they are very good at advocating for you and will handle your complaint and make sure it isn’t fobbed off. It’s disgusting they called you an anxious mum and allowed it to get as serious as it has. Lots of love to you all

Thank you.
I think that might be the case in complaining.
Every doctor I've seen have said they don't understand how he missed it because her left lung is literally covered in pus and you can clearly hear the difference when listening to her back.

They're concerned about it spreading outside of her lungs now though so she's on aggressive antibiotics on IV plus oral antibiotics to try and stop it before it spreads!

 

[watermelon sugar]

These back to school/nursery germs are no joke. Had a cold a month ago, caught covid a fortnight ago and now my 2yo has got another cold from nursery that I’ve caught I’ve just accepted I’m gonna be ill basically all the time from now until March

 

[swimming]

Thank you so much to all of you who reached out there. Xx
its hard isn’t it to get gripped into the art of comparison when you see other children doing things.

 

[Definitelyme]

@OIM So much love lady. September is SO HARD. The first weeks of September are just such a difficult few weeks for little people. My kids just struggle so much with the exhaustion of being back at school. The structure of having to do what they are told to do, and when, rather than just pleasing themselves in play. At nursery if she is tired she maybe does a quieter activity for a while. At school, if she is tired she still has to do XYZ when they have it laid out.
And it is so hard for adults dealing with that. I really struggle to keep my cool when they are just losing their damn mind all the time. But remember YOU are just back to work again, and YOU are tired as well. And (as I so often say on here) we are only human. We can only do our best, and sometimes we just run out of energy to be wonderful mummy. And yes, we do feel bad about it, because it’s not ideal. But we are all doing our best, and we only have so much to give x

 

[al255]

SO.

Just need some encouragement or something I don’t really know what.

Mini A woke up from her disaster night at 9:30am and she had no nappy on and she said mummy wee and she was about to wee, she managed to hold it till I could sit her on the toilet (with her toilet seat on it), and she did a wee. Then after pumpkin picking she didn’t have a nappy on cos I was letting her bum /etc air dry as she’s got bad nappy rash. She sat on her potty (I had it out anyway) and she did a poo, then before she just had knickers on to see and we were in her playroom and she said mummy wee wee and ran to the potty but she couldn’t get there in time.

This is positive and I’m going to keep it up till bedtime, and tomorrow too.. but are these signs she’s ready? Atleast better signs than last time I tried

 

[Hellofromtheotherside]

Hi all, never commented on here but I feel like I need advice more than ever,I have a 15 month who has major separation anxiety and a just turned 3 year old who now just screams at bedtime, he's been in a bed for about 4 months but screams if the door is closed so we keep it slightly open which isn't a problem, but now he's decided to scream and fall asleep on the floor next to the gate on his door.

My little girl screams herself to sleep she hates it when I leave the room she's awake around 5am no matter what time she goes to bed, both just don't sleep very well.

I'm feeling so fed up at the moment my husband is always at work so barely sees them, I just feel abit blerugh of constantly being whinged at all day, being touched 24/7 and walking round like a zombie.

Probably no point to this post just so so fed up I feel like I've lost who I am being a mum is all I am blerughhhhh what is wrong with me

 

[Okgolightly]

Doctor has just come in and confirmed she has a throat infection, ear infection and pneumonia

Oh goodness, poor thing and you such a good example of always trusting your gut and never giving up when it comes to getting them checked over. Hoping you’re both able to get some rest and recover over the next few days. I would also seriously think about raising a complaint about being repeatedly robbed off and told it’s just due to your anxiety, absolutely shocking!

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Argh do you ever feel like a terrible mother. My little one doesn’t listen to me either. This morning he was just being sooo giddy and wouldn’t listen to me at all … and now I feel awful I’ve been telling him off all morning before he goes to nursery. He doesn’t seem bothered but it makes me feel terrible. And also I feel like do i give him enough attention?? He is behind with speech and I feel like it’s my fault cos I don’t always give him attention if I need to get things done etc

 

[jackieweaver’sauthority]

Well my toddler just came out with “I can’t do this bloody ice pop”. Awaiting my nomination for mum of the year any day now

 

[Definitelyme]

Awwww this is so true! And I will try and not to compare because it does drag me down. I suppose I worry he's not as quick as my friends child because I don't take him out with other children as much, and that was my worry but I won't worry as much now xxx

All the things they are learning at this stage (eg walking, talking) are either coming naturally with gross motor, or they are picking up from adults. Other kids teach them almost nothing that really sticks at this age, so please don’t worry that you’re doing him a disservice.

 

[Megatron1298]

We're doing okay thank you.
I feel a bit better today.
For now

She's still sleeping so I'm hoping it's her trying to catch up and not her getting worse.

We've had 3 lots of student doctors come around and ask if they can listen to her back.
I've had to decline. I feel bad declining as theyve all got to learn somewhere but I just don't want to wake her for unnecessary things when she's already been poked and prodded enough.
We had one lot come in yesterday and ask too and she got so worked up about it and wouldn't let them.
She's so worried they'll hurt her.

You’re doing great and you have every right to decline don’t feel bad. You are looking out for your daughters best interests
Unfortunately they will have other opportunities to learn and perhaps their supervisors should instead tell them that they should always listen to a parent if they say something is not right with their children! (A doctor actually said that to a student doctor when they came and looked at my son, to which I was so grateful for her emphasising)

 

[WhatABore]

Not really toddler as she's 4 and I don't know if there's any advice really more so just a small rant.

4yo came out of school yesterday crying, saying a certain child hit her.
This is the 3rd time in a few weeks now that she's said he's hit her. Same exact child.

When she came out crying yesterday, her teacher said she'd deal with it tomorrow as he'd already gone home.

I've spoke to the teacher this morning saying she was a bit worried to come today as it's the 3rd time she's come home and said he's hit her.

The teacher basically said my 4yo is very anxious and any time anyone bops into her if they're being a bit over excited, she cries and he doesn't sit near her on the mat when waiting to come home.
Now, she is quite anxious and she is quite emotional.
However, she's saying it happens when any kid knocks into her. But my 4yo is saying it's the same child every time that's hit her.
She hasn't mentioned anyone else.

I don't know. I know I don't see what goes on in the classroom but she's only ever mentioned this 1 child hitting her.
It felt a little bit like she was just dismissing it because she's emotional.

 

[watermelon sugar]

I’m guilty of also giving my 2.5 year old the iPad when I just need to get jobs done quick screen time doesn’t matter to me cos I know he has plenty of time without it. There are jobs he absolutely loves though. Like putting the washing on the clothes airer but sometimes he thinks it’s a game and pegs it with loads of socks and hides them round the house

 

[al255]

Nursery have a lot of experience with toilet training, you don’t need to worry about it there.

I know I just worry! She’s done so well and she’s done a wee on the potty again now although it was tiny but she’s really understanding it. I’m so so proud of her and I never thought I’d be at this point, my dad made a joke the other day that she would be in nappies till she was going to school and I thought go away! They do it in their own time. Compared to a month ago she is so ready

 

[al255]

Thank you for the advice everyone. It’s good to know all these things are things others have gone through.

One thing I find hardest is every time we go through a new stage, with our eldest especially or with the baby’s constant crying, I honestly think I’ve made a massive mistake and maybe parenthood isn’t for me. I know, as with everything, it’s just a season but it just seems so hard and never ending and lonely

its like we are the same person?!!!!!

so just to get it out there and I have NO shame in admitting this. I never wanted kids, I was such a selfish person in my 20s and rightly so. It was all about me and going travelling, partying etc and then I got into a relationship and mini A happened and was there any way I was getting rid of “it” .. NO. I didn’t want a child but at the same time I knew it would be good for me. Prior to mini A being born I’d never even held a newborn, hardly played with kids etc and I feel like you - it was a HUGE shock and change.

I hated the newborn stage, I hated being up every hour, I hated the teething, sleep regressions, I hated how demanding a new born/baby is.. I like motherhood hell of a lot more now and I feel like it’s rewarding now she’s nearly 3. She can talk to me, we can play properly together, she can do stuff for herself, it’s not as worrying! Don’t get me wrong I swoon over newborns now but I don’t envy them one bit. One and done for me. I’m enquiring about being sterilised as I do NOT ever ever ever ever want another child.

please don’t think parenthood isn’t for you - some people are (imo) are born to be a mum, and just have it naturally and some people (I’d say like you and I), have to really work at being parents and it doesn’t come as naturally to us. Sending hugs, I find some days when all I’ve done is shout and get pissed off at her I think I’m not cut out for motherhood either.. but then we’ve just had an amazing week away and I’ve heard is “mummy I love you” with endless kisses and cuddles and then suddenly I remember I must be doing something right.

a final note- “how lucky are we to be someone’s everything“

 

[WhatABore]

I had the pressure of my partners Mum to potty train after she kept commenting on my partners cousins kids about how disgusting it is changing a 3 year olds nappy. And all kids should be potty trained well before 3

 

[Pink Octopus]

Hi all, am new to this thread and am at my wits end.
(I apologise if my post isn’t relevant to this thread just let me know) also TMI POOP TALK

I have a 4yo who has been toilet trained almost a year and a half now. Never had any problems with bowl movements etc. 2 weeks ago our household came down with covid, knocked our routine out of whack. My 4yo was constipated during it, and did one painful constipated bowl movement and then developed a phobia. She flat out refused to go poo after that. She went on a 4 day stretch and day 5 managed to pass a brick like poo (which fuelled her fear even more)
Now she’s flat out refusing to poop.
I have tried lactulose (not seen much progress)
Movicol (I’ve tried it in milk, smoothies, juice, heck even icecream and she just spits it out)
Currently we are on califig twice a day.
she is passing stools albeit tiny ones every few days and is holding it in. Whenever she passes wind she soils her pants slightly. It’s a never ending nightmare. She’s just holding her poo in and is refusing to let go.
her diet is normal, she’s getting fibre, fruit & veggies, and is drinking loads of water & apple juice.

ive tried offering her princely things in exchange for her trying to push, been really really supportive, read loads of poop books to her, watched loads of poop songs, videos of animals, even explained the digestive system to her to try and demystify it but nothing is working.
she is uncomfortable all the time and is just holding it in.
please, any hints, tips, advice would be greatly appreciated.

Hi all, am new to this thread and am at my wits end.
(I apologise if my post isn’t relevant to this thread just let me know) also TMI POOP TALK

I have a 4yo who has been toilet trained almost a year and a half now. Never had any problems with bowl movements etc. 2 weeks ago our household came down with covid, knocked our routine out of whack. My 4yo was constipated during it, and did one painful constipated bowl movement and then developed a phobia. She flat out refused to go poo after that. She went on a 4 day stretch and day 5 managed to pass a brick like poo (which fuelled her fear even more)
Now she’s flat out refusing to poop.
I have tried lactulose (not seen much progress)
Movicol (I’ve tried it in milk, smoothies, juice, heck even icecream and she just spits it out)
Currently we are on califig twice a day.
she is passing stools albeit tiny ones every few days and is holding it in. Whenever she passes wind she soils her pants slightly. It’s a never ending nightmare. She’s just holding her poo in and is refusing to let go.
her diet is normal, she’s getting fibre, fruit & veggies, and is drinking loads of water & apple juice.

ive tried offering her princely things in exchange for her trying to push, been really really supportive, read loads of poop books to her, watched loads of poop songs, videos of animals, even explained the digestive system to her to try and demystify it but nothing is working.
she is uncomfortable all the time and is just holding it in.
please, any hints, tips, advice would be greatly appreciated.

Total lurker here but seeing your post I couldn't not reply as I am hopefully coming out the other side (touch wood, fingers crossed etc!) with my 3 year old daughter and know how it can take over your life. I've found movicol the game changer for us, lactulose didn't do anything. Not sure how much movicol you are having to give a day but the only thing I've found that she will drink a whole sachet at once is when added to a fruit shoot, otherwise we spread it out over the day adding small amount to milk whether as a drink or in cereal, adding to soup, I'll even add it onto toast and let it soak in then cover with butter. There is a charity called ERIC that deal with bowel and bladder issues in children and have lots of really good information on their website. They have a helpline but really busy at the moment and took me about 4 weeks to hear back from them but worth getting in touch. The other thing they mentioned to me was a stimulant to encourage them to go, we haven't had to do that as the movicol seems to have worked by itself. The other thing I can recommend is the movicol mummies Facebook page ,loads of other people on there going through the same thing and many have years of experience with movicol and just reading the posts can give you good ideas of how to hide it to get them to take it and just a bit of support. Hope you manage to find something that works.

 

[al255]

Hi all, it seems to be working!! 7:30pm bedtime and she’s waking up about 6:45am I think she’s getting into the routine of no nap now. She’s really tired by 7:15pm though. I really enjoyed yesterday - we were able to stay in the woods ALL afternoon and I didn’t have to worry about anything I’ve always been so worried over her naps and making sure she has one etc so it’s been nice to not have to think about it!!…we are off to CBeebies land today so I’m really excited for that. Hope everyone is well x

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Just wanted to have a little rant, my mum keeps pressuring me to move my daughter from her cot to a bed, and to potty train her but I'm selfishly just not ready. She'll be 3 in December, but has never made any attempt to climb out of her cot and still has loads of room. I know I should but I can't face having to take her back to her bed 45 times a night if we make the transition.

She’s your child make your own decisions. My mum and dad don’t know that my son sleeps in my bed cos they’re so judgemental it’s not worth the ear ache. I’m the one who has to fer up with him it he wakes not them. You do what’s best for you and your daughter