TiffanyThinks #5

[PW212]

I've just gone back to her video to check and I apologise, it was Matt who said that the surgeon said surgery might be better for her mental health. However watching the video again with fresh eyes and weeks down the line I'm genuinely shocked and I think Matt has quite a negative influence in her care.

Now when it comes to the video - She initially says that her options are - the surgery or 'deferral of surgery' (no mention of wait and watch) and I will loosely quote her here 'which entails waiting 6 weeks and having all the tests again, but this could mean the risk of it spreading to the liver or the lung or the cancer might have been there and it might become inoperable'.

Matt said that the surgeon recommended to wait but Tiffany corrected him and said that the surgeon told her that it is her decision. In this video Matt is pushing for her waiting, telling her the risk to reward of just waiting is brilliant. He said that it's better to take the risk and that 'we haven't really lost anything if you wait 6 weeks'. Tiffany then says it could become inoperable and Matt tells her the chances of that are slim (didn't know Matt was a qualified oncologist). Matt then says the surgeon want to and I quote, 'leave it and hope for the best'.

She then puts the question to her viewers, this is the video that I think started a lot of people's doubts in Tiffany, why on earth would you ask your viewers what they think she should do, like she's asking if she should have a curry or a chinese takeaway for tea.

I am very sceptical of using the term watch and wait now when it comes to Tiffany, this is NOT what her surgeon told her, she has picked up on this from comments and probably this thread and is now running with it. Her surgeon recommended deferral of surgery not a watch and wait approach.

She is more terrified of losing Darling then dying. Literally. I said this mo this ago. They have not been in a long term relationship IMO. Maybe 3 yrs top. More like 2.5 maybe. She knew him for 5 yrs bc they are both optometrists but that doesnt mean dating. he isn't in invested enough to fight for her survival despite all else. They both found out about the actual surgery details and here we are. Neither of them coukd deal with the post surgery realities.
there is no way in hell that a conos opy or sigmoidoscopy would not necessitate a bowel prep the day or two ahead. No way! Some patients ignore the prep, or half way do it and the procedure cannot proceed. She never mentioned a prep so we do not know if she actually did it. That could be why they were not able to do the biopsy. Or, the tumour has grown to a point that even the smallest of scopes could not safely pass. This is more worrisome. if so, she will be blocked and emergency surgery will be needed if possible at all. Just to clear the obstruction. I question her prep though. i believe she will string this out until she just isnt well enough to film or edit. She will just ghost social media and that will be that. We will never entirely know what happened.

 

[JellyBellyBeanie]

Didn’t she also mention she is on antibiotics (unless I completely made that up) so if she currently has a infection that could also be a reason she is vomiting.

 

[pumpkinspicedtea]

It would be interesting to see how the comment section looks without the deleting.

 

[PuzzlesAndWine]

i believe she will string this out until she just isnt well enough to film or edit. She will just ghost social media and that will be that. We will never entirely know what happened.

This is what I feel the end will look like for her followers. Noone will get answers or have any of the confusion cleared up.
It will sure be interesting to see what the video tomorrow (if there is one) is about, whether it's pre-recorded from before the drop of the last video or if she actually acknowledges anything in the recent comments.

 

[TheGlossy]

I don’t think one can say Matt is a negative influence. It’s not fair because she’s only showing us what she wants to show us. Matt is sacrificing a good part of his youth caring for his sick girlfriend which is highly admirable in my eyes, especially for a man in his 30s. Tiffany seems to be the type to throw a tantrum if things don’t go her way (look a the whole surgeon drama). I think he just tells her what she wants to hear. He knew she’d rather wait and watch than get the surgery. I don’t think he steered her in any direction because she’s very obviously under the impression her cancer will go away on its own.

On a different note, I think Tiffany has a track record of milking stories for views. Before her cancer diagnosis, she posted a video about “losing her dad” (he was still alive then) - the “growing up without a father one”. That was few years before COVID. People thought her dad had passed because she never clearly said he just moved away. She remained wishy washy. Then when her dad actually passed during COVID, a lot of comments popped up under the video where she disclosed this asking: “Thought your dad passed years ago based on your previous video” or something along those lines. It’s a pattern with her.

 

[Doc22]

You might know this already but Tiffany chose to put off the surgery, she could have had the surgery. This isn't a case of poor treatment, any delays Tiffany has played a part in. She is being treated at a world-renowned cancer centre, not some back alley clinic.

Yes, I think it was a mistake to wait. According the research even if she had complete response now there is more probability that the cancer come back for stage 3 patients. Only the reason to wait is late response to radiation. But I think it was several months from her radiation.

 

[virgocat]

I don’t think one can say Matt is a negative influence. It’s not fair because she’s only showing us what she wants to show us. Matt is sacrificing a good part of his youth caring for his sick girlfriend which is highly admirable in my eyes, especially for a man in his 30s. Tiffany seems to be the type to throw a tantrum if things don’t go her way (look a the whole surgeon drama). I think he just tells her what she wants to hear. He knew she’d rather wait and watch than get the surgery. I don’t think he steered her in any direction because she’s very obviously under the impression her cancer will go away on its own.

When you love someone, you don't tell them what they want to hear in a potential life or death situation I'm sorry. Watching her initial video where she asks her followers what she should do Matt is very much airing his own opinion. He even says that the surgeon said it would be best and she corrects him. I think some people give Matt a little bit too much credit, I find it odd that he is on a trip away while she has gone into hospital for a biopsy, something that when she had it done last time she had a rough time afterwards, wouldn't you want to be there for your loved one?

 

[TheGlossy]

When you love someone, you don't tell them what they want to hear in a potential life or death situation I'm sorry. Watching her initial video where she asks her followers what she should do Matt is very much airing his own opinion. He even says that the surgeon said it would be best and she corrects him. I think some people give Matt a little bit too much credit, I find it odd that he is on a trip away while she has gone into hospital for a biopsy, something that when she had it done last time she had a rough time afterwards, wouldn't you want to be there for your loved one?

I’m not giving him credit, but we don’t know what their relationship is like. Maybe they had already spoken about the wait and watch before she captured that scene. He can’t force her to do anything, she’s the sole decision maker at the end of the day and if the doctors suggest WW, they also know better. The doctors wouldn’t have suggested WW if they didn’t see any point in it. He’s not the doctor here, so he just suggested one of the options that were given.

We don’t know the ins and outs of a relationship. About him visiting home, maybe there’s something going on with his family or he’s struggling mentally. Again, we only know what Tiffany wants to show. Not fair to judge someone without knowing the full details.

 

[PW212]

Saydee is right. Watch and wait is for people who had complet response for chemoradiation. My specialization is not oncologogy nor surgery. My knowledge about oncology is basic. But looked it up, candidates for watch and wait approach are rectal cancer patients without lymph node involment and smaller size tumors T1-2 rarely T3 who had complet response. The purpose of this approach is to spare rectum for better quality of life. She doesn't meet the criteria. I don't think she is on real wait and watch protocol. The doctor decided to wait for 6 weeks not sure why. I think she needs to have surgery unless she refuses it.

Lets remind ourselves of her possible surgical outcomes first. Removal of rectum, anus, some colon, vagina, poss clitoris, ovaries, cervix, uterus, bladder, some peritoneum, fallopian tubes, urethra. Partial or full. Now, look at TT and Darling. Are they the thpe of people that would be able to cope or fight through all of the possible consequences from this type of life altering last ditch surgery??? Ummm NO. They heard the total picture of what it may or would entail and you saw it in their eyes in the video. Darling looked like he just saw a ghost or worse. Things changed drastically after that fateful video and Dr meeting. The doc had to offer something else so he may have offered to wait and watch. No one can force any procedure on anyone. Not even a life saving one. Its very sad but sometimes there are no real viable options bc diagnosis was delayed for whatever the reasons or its just horrible bad luck.

 

[virgocat]

Honestly, I’m not giving him credit, but we don’t know what their relationship is like. Maybe they had already spoken about the wait and watch before she captured that scene. We don’t know the ins and outs of a relationship. About him visiting home, maybe there’s something going on with his family or he’s struggling mentally. Again, we only know what Tiffany wants to show. Not fair to judge someone without knowing the full details.

With respect if we shouldn't judge without knowing the full details the whole thread should be closed down. We don't know the full details of anything. We can only judge from what we see and what I have seen is someone who has completely checked out emotionally. He is managing to keep up all his regular hobbies, he is going on trips away, Tiffany really struggled last time she had a biopsy, surely it's not fair to put all the burden on Amma who is clearly going through it herself, it's written all over her face.

 

[Doc22]

She is more terrified of losing Darling then dying. Literally. I said this mo this ago. They have not been in a long term relationship IMO. Maybe 3 yrs top. More like 2.5 maybe. She knew him for 5 yrs bc they are both optometrists but that doesnt mean dating. he isn't in invested enough to fight for her survival despite all else. They both found out about the actual surgery details and here we are. Neither of them coukd deal with the post surgery realities.
there is no way in hell that a conos opy or sigmoidoscopy would not necessitate a bowel prep the day or two ahead. No way! Some patients ignore the prep, or half way do it and the procedure cannot proceed. She never mentioned a prep so we do not know if she actually did it. That could be why they were not able to do the biopsy. Or, the tumour has grown to a point that even the smallest of scopes could not safely pass. This is more worrisome. if so, she will be blocked and emergency surgery will be needed if possible at all. Just to clear the obstruction. I question her prep though. i believe she will string this out until she just isnt well enough to film or edit. She will just ghost social media and that will be that. We will never entirely know what happened.

She didn't have full colonoscopy. She had sigmoidoscopy or rectoscopy. Preparation for that is enema. She might have post radiation scares, fibrosis and adhesion. It might narrow the passage. Probably it was the problem. Or there can be tumor blocking as you said. If there was a tumor the doctor could take biopsies from the edge of tumor if it needed.

 

[TheGlossy]

With respect if we shouldn't judge without knowing the full details the whole thread should be closed down. We don't know the full details of anything. We can only judge from what we see and what I have seen is someone who has completely checked out emotionally. He is managing to keep up all his regular hobbies, he is going on trips away, Tiffany really struggled last time she had a biopsy, surely it's not fair to put all the burden on Amma who is clearly going through it herself, it's written all over her face.

I think you’re missing a big point here. Tiffany is documenting HER journey and Matt is tagging along in those videos. It’s not his channel, so she’s by default filtering a lot when it comes to him. That’s my point about not knowing the “details”. We only see what SHE wants to show us when it comes to him.

Don’t be aggressive or patronizing with me. I’m here to express my opinion like you do. Whether you like it or not, it’s on you. I’m not here to steer an endless running in circles debate.

 

[virgocat]

I think you’re missing a big point here. Tiffany is documenting her journey and Matt is tagging along in those videos. It’s not his channel, so she’s by default filtering a lot when it comes to him. That’s my point about not knowing the details.

Don’t be aggressive or patronizing with me. I’m here to express my opinion like you do. Whether you like it or not, it’s on you.

I'm not missing any point, I am judging what I am witnessing, if she is choosing to include moments where Matt seems completely checked out then I doubt what she isn't including is a caring partner.

I'm not sure how anything I said is aggressive or patronising when you're the one accusing me of missing some big point. I'm not missing anything I'm forming an opinion based on the only information we have, which is Tiffany's videos, he consents to be in those videos so he is fair game for any opinions people may have about him.

 

[EmyUrban]

Saydee is right. Watch and wait is for people who had complet response for chemoradiation. My specialization is not oncologogy nor surgery. My knowledge about oncology is basic. But looked it up, candidates for watch and wait approach are rectal cancer patients without lymph node involment and smaller size tumors T1-2 rarely T3 who had complet response. The purpose of this approach is to spare rectum for better quality of life. She doesn't meet the criteria. I don't think she is on real wait and watch protocol. The doctor decided to wait for 6 weeks not sure why. I think she needs to have surgery unless she refuses it.

I agree wait and watch is for people who had complete response for chemo radiation never said otherwise … Sometimes though in some trials they do accept « nearly » complete response and T4 tumours. Hopefully we will soon know what the medical team has decided about her treatment plan and we will understand better … Not sure though … Maybe it’s not a real wait and watch trial and they just delay the surgery … But they surely hope/ think she is nearly complete response if not they would obviously do the surgery as soon as possible or at least they would try something …

 

[virgocat]

Hopefully we will soon know what the medical team has decided about her treatment plan and we will understand better

We haven't really fully known anything about her treatment plan though as she's not transparent at all. Like how the procedure failed, she said they couldn't get a biopsy, it would have been explained to her exactly why but she didn't pass this on to her viewers. I think the next 'update' we get will be filled with fluff as it normally is and we will be again none the wiser, I really do hope that this isn't the case though.

 

[PW212]

She didn't have full colonoscopy. She had sigmoidoscopy or rectoscopy. Preparation for that is enema. She might have post radiation scares, fibrosis and adhesion. It might narrow the passage. Probably it was the problem. Or there can be tumor blocking as you said. If there was a tumor the doctor could take biopsies from the edge of tumor if it needed.

I can tell you that when they are uncertain of how far up they may need to go, and if they know in advance that biopsies are needed, they want a full bowel prep. That is why people recommend a colonoscopy over a sigmoid bc the prep is the same and you may not catch everything in the lower 1/3 of bowel. I know in her case they likely know that the tumour is in the lower level but still, an enema might be ok for routine sigmoid scopes, but for her? Maybe they know she is already partially obstructed. And a bowel prep would be not possible. The use of a general anaesthetic for a sigmoid is very suspect. She could have a conscious sedation instead. So what other procedure was done requiring a general? I believe some laparoscopic abd exploration. I asked her directly and she never denies it outright. She just goes right to the biopsy. Singular. Only suggests the bowel scope. Never anything else. Its all sketchy as many point out.

 

[pumpkinspicedtea]

I’m not giving him credit, but we don’t know what their relationship is like. Maybe they had already spoken about the wait and watch before she captured that scene. He can’t force her to do anything, she’s the sole decision maker at the end of the day and if the doctors suggest WW, they also know better. The doctors wouldn’t have suggested WW if they didn’t see any point in it. He’s not the doctor here, so he just suggested one of the options that were given.

We don’t know the ins and outs of a relationship. About him visiting home, maybe there’s something going on with his family or he’s struggling mentally. Again, we only know what Tiffany wants to show. Not fair to judge someone without knowing the full details.

I agree with you. We only see what Tiffany wants us to see. I cant see matt being the kind of person telling her what she doesnt want to hear, but we dont know what kind of conversation they have. You can see that matt does not like being on camera (she also said that herself) so maybe that's why she doesnt show that much of him.

 

[EmyUrban]

I can tell you that when they are uncertain of how far up they may need to go, and if they know in advance that biopsies are needed, they want a full bowel prep. That is why people recommend a colonoscopy over a sigmoid bc the prep is the same and you may not catch everything in the lower 1/3 of bowel. I know in her case they likely know that the tumour is in the lower level but still, an enema might be ok for routine sigmoid scopes, but for her? Maybe they know she is already partially obstructed. And a bowel prep would be not possible. The use of a general anaesthetic for a sigmoid is very suspect. She could have a conscious sedation instead. So what other procedure was done requiring a general? I believe some laparoscopic abd exploration. I asked her directly and she never denies it outright. She just goes right to the biopsy. Singular. Only suggests the bowel scope. Never anything else. Its all sketchy as many point out.

I think a bowel prep is possible (she can hydrate orally) but was not needed. It’s very very low lying and even that low the surgeon could not access to it. Use of general anesthesia is normal in her case because the surgeon knew beforehand he would have to cut and cut and cut through scar tissues adhesions etc before reaching the tumour … If the scar tissue he went through was the tumour he would have been able to get a sample but he could not probably only went through scar tissue/ adhesions.

 

[Villanelly]

The thumbs up to thumbs down ratio, as of right now, on yesterday's offering is: 6.7K to 1.5K

Not as bad as previously but still unusualy high for a cancer vid.

 

[pooch&mutt]

Yes, I think it was a mistake to wait. According the research even if she had complete response now there is more probability that the cancer come back for stage 3 patients. Only the reason to wait is late response to radiation. But I think it was several months from her radiation.

once she found out the full extent of what the surgery entailed She went off the idea..and who can blame her it’s brutal..so far as I understand the pre surgery steps for this particular surgery involve besides the regular tests but also an assessment of whether she’d be mentally up to living with all the consequences of said surgery..and seriously do they actually need to assess Tiffany to establish that?..can You even imagine waking up from this let alone living? with the constant reminders..I sadly don’t see her doing that..so they’ve done probably the best for her?..