TheLongMum

[NoseyParker2202]

I actually feel quite sad for her. It's obvious she has mental health struggles and low confidence in her ability as her parent. Rather than gloat at how he is 'winning' her ex partner should work with her to ensure she feels empowered and supported.

The kids suffer if she is unhappy and low and ultimately they should be the priority for both sides. Growing up with such tension and Me Vs You about everything is ultimately going to damage those lovely girls. Whether someone is right or wrong doesn't really come into it. Both coming across immature, resentful and mean. Just do the tit you need to do to to try best not to duck up the little souls you both chose to bring in to the world.

 

[Bunbun1]

I actually feel quite sad for her. It's obvious she has mental health struggles and low confidence in her ability as her parent. Rather than gloat at how he is 'winning' her ex partner should work with her to ensure she feels empowered and supported.

The kids suffer if she is unhappy and low and ultimately they should be the priority for both sides. Growing up with such tension and Me Vs You about everything is ultimately going to damage those lovely girls. Whether someone is right or wrong doesn't really come into it. Both coming across immature, resentful and mean. Just do the tit you need to do to to try best not to duck up the little souls you both chose to bring in to the world.

To be fair to her ex we are only getting her side of the story and I wouldn’t consider her narration entirely reliable…

 

[Whataday]

It's sounds to me like she is considering giving dad full custody...

Nah, she's just being a narcissist again and making herself out to be the victim, as always. Narcissists need validation and supply daily, and she obviously needed a big top up of 'we got yo' back, sistah!' type replies. If the kids are behaving well at one house, but not the other, it suggests that boundaries are being enforced by one parent (the dad) and not the other (because she finds it easier not to do anything). The kids keep coming into her room because she allows it. They don't wake up and go into his, because he's told them that that does not happen. Violet keeps telling her mean things, because that boundary has not been enforced. My daughter spoke to me like this for a very short period, maybe for 3 weeks when she was 4, and had just started full days at school. But I wouldn't tolerate it, and it very soon stopped. It's not rocket science. Kids push boundaries because they are learning about the unwritten rules in the world. After attending to their needs, and caring for them, teaching them these boundaries is your most important job as a parent, because it's what stops them growing up to be narcissists too.
If I was the father, I would be fuming at this constant slagging, especially after her sex jibe the other day. She's odious in the way she talks about him, with no forum to respond. And if she's posting this on Instagram, imagine what she says to the children. And what this does to them. No empathy at all. An absolute narcissist in all she does.

 

[lurker1mill]

Very weird joke to make

 

[Onecandream]

Yes I agree
Not a word that should be used in a joke !!

 

[Twopenniesworth]

She’s probably been dumped. She normally gets depressed and woe is me when she’s not with a bloke

 

[Lalalala1212]

“Not feel like I’m responsible for their bad behaviour because they’re modelling me” - that is EXACTLY what’s happening.
I can’t be too judgemental because there are definitely times I loose my cool with my kids but I always do see it in their behaviour when that happens because I’m stressed or whatever and I work on it for them, rather that go on insta and get strangers to validate my less than perfect parenting.

 

[Abcd123]

I love to DM her and say the below but don't wanna get blocked...

1) stop moaning, yes you're tired from broken sleep but you don't have to get the kids up and then go and 8hrs work do you. twit.

2) don't let the kids in your room/refuse to lie with them til they fall asleep, the first week will be hard but they'll learn that you're the adult and you make the rules

3) be glad your ex has joint custody and don't have to single parent FULL TIME

4) Stop bitching about your ex on social media, nobody needs that dirty laundry.

Also, fully agree that she's she's dumped as she usually has these woe is me posts around the time of a dumping.

 

[Bunbun1]

She’s probably been dumped. She normally gets depressed and woe is me when she’s not with a bloke

If he dumps her I wonder how much it will be because she was putting him on insta when he really didn’t want to be?

 

[MrsJ2000]

Well if he hasn’t dumped her, as soon as she reads this she will be putting him on Instagram again to stick 2 fingers up to us

 

[Whataday]

Yes I agree
Not a word that should be used in a joke !!

Not weird really, she’s just having a laugh. No need to take it seriously. She is actually funny.

I really don’t think she’s been dumped. She just needed content, and cos she always feels like she has it worse than anyone else, she feels like she can blame THE PATRIARCHY / MEN / A MAN, and get support from her devotees.

And this relationship will only end once she gets bored of this one and the next fella is lined up

 

[electric_boots]

Nah, she's just being a narcissist again and making herself out to be the victim, as always. Narcissists need validation and supply daily, and she obviously needed a big top up of 'we got yo' back, sistah!' type replies. If the kids are behaving well at one house, but not the other, it suggests that boundaries are being enforced by one parent (the dad) and not the other (because she finds it easier not to do anything). The kids keep coming into her room because she allows it. They don't wake up and go into his, because he's told them that that does not happen. Violet keeps telling her mean things, because that boundary has not been enforced. My daughter spoke to me like this for a very short period, maybe for 3 weeks when she was 4, and had just started full days at school. But I wouldn't tolerate it, and it very soon stopped. It's not rocket science. Kids push boundaries because they are learning about the unwritten rules in the world. After attending to their needs, and caring for them, teaching them these boundaries is your most important job as a parent, because it's what stops them growing up to be narcissists too.
If I was the father, I would be fuming at this constant slagging, especially after her sex jibe the other day. She's odious in the way she talks about him, with no forum to respond. And if she's posting this on Instagram, imagine what she says to the children. And what this does to them. No empathy at all. An absolute narcissist in all she does.

Oh god this. She can't see that something's clearly going wrong at her house and she needs to look at her own bedtime routine and habits because the kids behave at their dad's so it's clearly something she's doing (or not doing). I agree re the slagging of someone who can't give their side of the story, it's mean and actually really unfair. I'm sure he's got a few things he'd like to add to this argument given the chance

 

[NoseyParker2202]

Oh god this. She can't see that something's clearly going wrong at her house and she needs to look at her own bedtime routine and habits because the kids behave at their dad's so it's clearly something she's doing (or not doing). I agree re the slagging of someone who can't give their side of the story, it's mean and actually really unfair. I'm sure he's got a few things he'd like to add to this argument given the chance

It's good you know him so well and can do it on his behalf here

 

[Twopenniesworth]

Oh god this. She can't see that something's clearly going wrong at her house and she needs to look at her own bedtime routine and habits because the kids behave at their dad's so it's clearly something she's doing (or not doing). I agree re the slagging of someone who can't give their side of the story, it's mean and actually really unfair. I'm sure he's got a few things he'd like to add to this argument given the chance

Get him on here

 

[Slothgang]

He did dump her with a newborn though when she was clearly struggling so he can't exactly be a supportive saint

 

[Whataday]

He did dump her with a newborn though when she was clearly struggling so he can't exactly be a supportive saint

Yes, after she attacked him physically. Which she posted on her IG and then deleted. Doesn’t suit her narrative to keep that on her profile though, obvs

 

[Theplantmum]

Yes, after she attacked him physically. Which she posted on her IG and then deleted. Doesn’t suit her narrative to keep that on her profile though, obvs

She attacked him?

 

[Simbama12]

She attacked him?

She pushed him or went to lunge at him holding the baby. Not acceptable but I think it’s unfair to use this against her, she had a newborn a toddler and was prob just having a total post natal meltdown.

 

[Bunbun1]

She pushed him or went to lunge at him holding the baby. Not acceptable but I think it’s unfair to use this against her, she had a newborn a toddler and was prob just having a total post natal meltdown.

Mmm I feel like we wouldn’t accept mitigating circumstances in that way if it was the other way around? He’s going through a hard time, things are difficult at work for him… we wouldn’t say this to our female friends? So I don’t think I can, in good conscience, say he was wrong to leave because I would never say a woman was wrong to do so.
DV always starts small and escalates over time. We don’t know that her behaviour would have escalated but we also don’t know that it wouldn’t have, so personally I couldn’t criticise someone for getting out at the beginning. I would 100% always advise my female friends to get out so I don’t think I can in all good conscience say a man should stay and hope she doesn’t escalate.

 

[Venuslurker]

The power imbalance isn't the same though. I'm not a massive fan of hers but I very much doubt that a hormonal woman lunging towards him whilst holding a baby (if that's what it was) was exactly threatening to him. Certainly not as threatening as a man lunging towards a woman. You can't apply the same rules to both genders IMO.