I caved and watched the vlog last night. I don't know what came over me but I KEPT WATCHING in the hope it would get less boring or that Lazy would have a rant or Creepstopher would fall off a ledge or something but it was just the Minghams going on a bit of a walk. FYI Lazy 3.2km is not "a hike". 3.2K is a bit of a walk and if you can't do that without multiple snacks/snack stops, then you need to catch yourself on. It WAS beautiful and if they had explained the different focal points instead of just saying "We're now at point 3 and we are going to point 4", then I would have been fully invested. As it was, it felt like an orienteering exercise for toddlers.
Now a little advice for you Creepstopher. Use your wrinkled up old penis eyes to do some research beyond Wikipedia and which places have the best toilet blocks or even buy a fecking guide book! When you are going somewhere like Venice find out the names of the places you visit, the names of the Churches or buildings and for the LOVE of Christmas, STOP referring to them as "that monument there" or "that landmark church".You are not "travel vloggers", you are not #vanlifers and you are not even tourists. You, Christopher Ingham and your lazy wife, Sarah Ingham are charlatans on the run and you are dragging your poor children along with you.
Now a little advice for you Creepstopher. Use your wrinkled up old penis eyes to do some research beyond Wikipedia and which places have the best toilet blocks or even buy a fecking guide book! When you are going somewhere like Venice find out the names of the places you visit, the names of the Churches or buildings and for the LOVE of Christmas, STOP referring to them as "that monument there" or "that landmark church".You are not "travel vloggers", you are not #vanlifers and you are not even tourists. You, Christopher Ingham and your lazy wife, Sarah Ingham are charlatans on the run and you are dragging your poor children along with you.
Lazy looks like she wishes she could pee standing up.EXPLORING THE INCREDIBLE TOLMIN GORGE IN SLOVENIA!
Lazy starts the vlog by squealing at Mila and telling her to stay in the van. She welcomes us to Tolmin and says they’re excited about a new country. None of them have been there before. They have a fun day planned hiking to Tolmin Gorges, which Lazy found and put on the bucket list. Tomorrow they’re checking into somewhere for Isabelle’s 17th birthday. They parked up a few minutes from the gorges.
Shot of the van. Time to jump on one of the buses to the other car park. They have a long hike to do so decided against the 15 minute walk to the other car park. Jace is a great walker and has barely used a pram. Esme brought her bag full of yarn but when she wasn’t looking Lazy filled it with snacks. Cackle. Esme packed her own snacks. She’s making a frog. Isla’s fringe is getting too much. The gorge is shaded.
Creepstopher says hello to “hello daaaaalin” Mila. They’re in the Triglav “tree glove” National Park in “tomlynn”. Maybe a potential name for baby 6. Screeching from Jace. The national park is a wonder of Slovenia and the walk is 3km there and back. There are thermal caves and bridges.
Creepstopher films the forge from above. The water is pretty. Lazy shows us the map. Esme is doing yarn. 'Spect for a Mila. It makes Lazy sound even more of a bleep than when Creepstopher does it. She and the girls walk down the steps. He films the insanely ridiculous water. Lazy wants to go for a swim but it’s not allowed.
Creepstopher films the thermal spring. He wants to jump in. Isabelle moans about sweating. They’re at Devil’s Bridge and have had pictures taken. Lazy almost threw the tickets away but you have to keep them to get out off the bridge. Jace runs across the bridge and Isabelle says she missed him.
Lazy shows us an information board about Bear’s Head, a naturally formed bridge. Then they’re above the fallen rock. They find shade to have a snack. Moaning about the heat. They have run out of their 2 litres of water. They have one more thing to see before the scenic walk back. Mila is out of the backpack for a break of Pringles. Jace has the task of making Isabelle her birthday cake in 3 days. Lazy tells everyone to go and watch the “hilarious” reel of little man and does an impression of him. Esme isyawningyarning. She is making a blue frog. She forgot the stuffing filler.
Walking. Isabelle looks over the side of the bridge. Lazy waddles up some steps. Creepstopher is out of breath as he shows the view. He tells Mila she has no right to complain. There is a can of coke in the cup holder of the backpack carrier.
Lazy says they’re almost at the top. They came around the corner and there is a cave that feels like an air conditioning unit. Jace has to be told not to go in. Lazy asks if anyone knows why the air is blasting out. Isabelle guesses it’s the air pressure. Creepstopher says the cave goes all the way through to where the air is icy and cold. Isla interrupts and says there is a glacier. Creepstopher continues and says the air pressure where the cold air is is lower than where they are where it’s warm, and the air is being pushed through the mountain. Esme looks bored to death, Jace is trying to get into the cave. Lazy asks if they want to go through the cave. Isabelle remembers caving in year 6 and says it was the worst experience of her life, it was terrifying.
Time to see another cave. Jace is worried about monsters in the cave. Your father is just behind you Jace. Lazy films through the gap in the gate. They’re in Dante Cave. It’s a real life Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Isla asks if the cave ever opens but Lazy says no because you could get lost (I wish the Inghams would), fall or have rocks fall. Footage of the gorge. Lazy shows us how much further they have to walk. They’re mega high up.
The Inghams are sat in the café for the biggest reward ever. Isabelle feels cold inside. Lazy is cooling down. They were reading up on Dante’s Cave, which can be explored if booked 3 days in advance. It’s 41 metres deep with 3 chambers. It comes out where the waters of a glacier flowed. Loud bangs of thunder. Reading off Wikipedia. I’m not typing out the spiel, you can go and read up on the cave if you want but same tit different day. Lazy is interested in geography. She recommends a visit. They walked up hundreds of steps. A single couple could do it in an hour and a half but it took them 3 hours because of Jace and stopping to read, have discussions and vlog. Creepstopher goes outside to look at the buses. Cackling. He is a weatherman and always wanted to be one. Bloody hell an you imagine his gurning face on ITV news every night? He reminds us that his university placement was meteorology. Jace fell asleep but no one has noticed until now.
Creepstopher moans about the rain as they do the 10 minute walk back to the van. They see the car park. Drone shots as the van drives along the road. Driving footage
Lazy and Esme tell us there is a big electric storm. There is so much electric. More electricity in the sky than in your marriage. There is barely any rain. It’s crazy and insane. They’re staying in a service station. They’re checking into somewhere tomorrow. They have an hour left and have driven east. Lazy likes to get the bulk of the driving done after a day out as the children sleep. Mila didn’t fall asleep and instead sat in her car seat and played. You have to buy a driving permit for Slovenia. Lazy sees a mouse. They had to buy a yearly one in Switzerland. They bought one for 15€ in Slovenia and are taking a different route home. Esme did more of her frog crochet. The frog is called Oggy. Lazy has never heard of sea foam. The lightning is far away. Esme tells mummy the thunder is getting closer. Today has been Lazy’s favourite day of the trip. The trip has been diverse and she is loving every second. They have a few more countries. There is a surprise for Isabelle in the place Lazy booked.
End of vlog
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They could invent a new sport. Ultimate Shot Putting when instead of lifting and pushing the shot, you'd have to lift and push Big Saz.Is it my imagination or has Big Saz put on a good stone and a half on this trip. She’s looking like Miss Trunchbull’s you get more unattractive sister They might want to swing in past Russia to see if she could get herself a job as a shotputter
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