These are hilarious and absolutely spot onChoose your fighter
Creepy Christopher Malcolm Ingham
Offense: Can induce vomiting very easily
Defense: Can skate away in a flash
Strength: Can do all household chores independently
Weakness: Easily distracted by teenage girls
Alias: Chris Delonge
Unique trait: Has a “whoo hoo!” minimum of 50 times daily
Lazy Sarah 38 Ingham
Offense: Highly contagious Herpes Simplex Virus
Defense: Will blind you with her credit card if in sun
Strength: Conserves energy with sloth-like lifestyle
Weakness: Could easily be bribed with a shopping spree/lured with money
Alias: Princess Delonge
Unique trait: Can consume copious amounts of sugar while never eating sugar
Granny Jane Zelda Ingham
Offense: Anonymous threats and vitriol
Defense: Denial and lies
Strength: Makes a killer tuna sandwich (supposedly)
Weakness: Falls apart if reminded of irrelevancy on family channel
Alias: Mummy
Unique trait: Loves to be thirteen again by participating in group chats with teen fans
Hi Steve Ingham
Offense: Tracks all Tattle activity and therefore knows everything that goes on in threads
Defense: Huge ears (which he passed down to Creepy Chris also) to hear a threat from miles away
Strength: High tolerance for crazy (married to Jane)
Weakness: Gets anxious if he’s too behind on Tattle
Alias: Grandpa
Unique trait: Loves a good dirty joke
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Katrina Dixon from Seacroft
Offense: Appalling hand gestures
Defense: Has Seacroft vermin trained to attack
Strength: Tik Tok videos induce laughter (although sometimes disgust)
Weakness: Secretly resentful that her channel did not take off like Lazy’s
Alias: Trina
Unique trait: Still has tongue piercing in 30s
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We need these for the whole 'cast'!!