The Ingham Family #183 First sight was Daddy the leech. How long til she's abandoned on a beach?

[stewiegriffin]

That awkward moment when you're fresh out the womb and you realise that your dad is a butters balding middle-aged just for men user wannabe gangsta emo skater boi who dm's teen girls, whilst your mum is a lazy diseased foghorn shopaholic who sells chinese tat for a living, can't spell for shit and they're both about to the exploit your every move and memory for cash £££

best of luck kid

 

[Justlurking4]

Choose your fighter


Creepy Christopher Malcolm Ingham
Offense: Can induce vomiting very easily
Defense: Can skate away in a flash
Strength: Can do all household chores independently
Weakness: Easily distracted by teenage girls
Alias: Chris Delonge
Unique trait: Has a “whoo hoo!” minimum of 50 times daily

Lazy Sarah 38 Ingham
Offense: Highly contagious Herpes Simplex Virus
Defense: Will blind you with her credit card if in sun
Strength: Conserves energy with sloth-like lifestyle
Weakness: Could easily be bribed with a shopping spree/lured with money
Alias: Princess Delonge
Unique trait: Can consume copious amounts of sugar while never eating sugar

Granny Jane Zelda Ingham
Offense: Anonymous threats and vitriol
Defense: Denial and lies
Strength: Makes a killer tuna sandwich (supposedly)
Weakness: Falls apart if reminded of irrelevancy on family channel
Alias: Mummy
Unique trait: Loves to be thirteen again by participating in group chats with teen fans

Hi Steve Ingham
Offense: Tracks all Tattle activity and therefore knows everything that goes on in threads
Defense: Huge ears (which he passed down to Creepy Chris also) to hear a threat from miles away
Strength: High tolerance for crazy (married to Jane)
Weakness: Gets anxious if he’s too behind on Tattle
Alias: Grandpa
Unique trait: Loves a good dirty joke

Katrina Dixon from Seacroft
Offense: Appalling hand gestures
Defense: Has Seacroft vermin trained to attack
Strength: Tik Tok videos induce laughter (although sometimes disgust)
Weakness: Secretly resentful that her channel did not take off like Lazy’s
Alias: Trina
Unique trait: Still has tongue piercing in 30s

 

[Charlotte1993]

What about Hattie after the dad ?

 

[Charlotte1993]

Thread suggestion
Mila mila on the insta wall we leaked your name before the cotterballs

 

[Little Miss]

so bored of the whole “ poor isla “ thing she’s had the most attention and love out of all the kids over the period of their lives thus far. There’s now 2 babies in the house so longgggggggggggggg over due for “ poor isla “ to be growing up a little and dealing with life , if she didn’t get the memo in the 2+ years jace has been on Earth then she never will and no amount of continued pandering will help “ poor isla “ she will be fine ! The moment she realises she’s going to be 10 on her next birthday and starts acting like a 10 year old and enjoys what comes with being the BIG sister she is & if she doesn’t then ….. cross that bridge when they come to it.
The babies weight , rounding it down to 7lb makes perfect sense and not something I’d have expected of Sarah but there you go she’s surprised me. It’s hardly a lie compared the whoppers she’s told ! It’s a waste of conversation time and petty AF imho

I’m sorry but she is a 9 year old child who has gone from having lots of attention to nothing.

She’s had two new siblings, been taken out of dance, taken out of school, she no longer sees her friends, her grandparents, her two older sisters don’t want to play with her as much anymore and has moved to new area which she doesn’t know. All of which have happened in the last couple of years.

That would be a lot for anyone to deal with let alone a vulnerable 9 year old child. Yes she may 10 next year but she’s been so isolated and babied that won’t act like a 10 year old should. So yes I feel sorry for Isla because none of this is her fault. It’s her parents fault 100%.

 

[ChrissyPoo]

Special shout out to Claire's Vintage Treasures who outted it a few months ago.

 

[MrsDimSum]

Meala Ticket I’m done

 

[Katielle13]

It’s genuinely concerning how obsessed they are with the baby’s looks, constantly going on about her hair and her size. Who fucking cares, she’s a beautiful healthy baby why don’t they focus on how lucky they are for that reason alone.

 

[Nick86]

Sorry but WTAF is that a frying pan they are using to hold water to wash the baby’s head!
OMFG I have seen it all now, the amount of shopping she does and she couldn’t buy a top and tail!! Fuck sake no chance they kids have buoyancy aids if she couldn’t buy the fucking basics infact a basin would have been better than a pan fuck me lifestyles of the “rich & the famous”

 

[Charlotte1993]

ingham nursery rhyme

Daddy finger daddy finger where are you
Texting girls texting girls and skating like a fool
Mummy finger mummy finger where are you
Shopping tat shopping tat and covering for u
Izzy finger Izzy finger where are you
Babysitting babysitting and bunking off of school
Esme finger Esme finger where are you
Impressing mum impressing mum my invisible days are done
Isla finger Isla finger where are you
Attention seeking attention seeking my queen bee days are done
Jace finger Jace finger where are you
Being a brat being a brat and that’s the end of that
Mila finger mila finger where are you
Making money making money as I was born to do

 

[Otterwise]

So removed from reality. Having a discussion about the waterfall hottub vs the one without with a £1500 price difference. How do you buy such a stupid piece of equipment PLUS ANOTHER patio set, but you don't spend any money on decent educational materials or a tutor for Isabelle who has to sit GCSE'S?!
What the hell are your priorities?

 

[Fat_Pat]

Not sure I'd be casually strolling around shops with a two day old baby, during a pandemic, when there's another fully grown adult in the house that could go instead.

 

[thegreencow]

They must be fuming that their 2 chances to save the channel were ruined by us. We must've had many ifam visitors the past few months

Want to know if Sarah's pregnant? - Come and check Tattle
Want to have an exclusive tour of the new house - Come and check Tattle
Want to know the sex of the baby? - Come and check Tattle
Want to know the baby's name? - Come and check Tattle

 

[OliviaPope]

How! How did tattle know this name the entire time we know everything!

Because Lazy can’t turn down a freebie!

 

[ChrissyPoo]

Hahahahahahahahaahaha! This is why I kept my profile picture.

That was a "that's not my grandson" moment by that small business then.

 

[HuncaMunca]

I seriously can’t get my head round anyone who thinks it’s ok to waste money on a germ tub and more sofas when their children travel in the boot of a car using their ears as knee rests. Thick as pig shit the pair of them.

 

[Somebodyiusedtoknow]

I've never heard of these people until my son told me about them and that they lived close by. Saw him in the Chinese last night. He'd come up on his e-scooter. I got very creepy vibes from him and that's without knowing anything about him. Been trying to catch up today!

 

[Anni1312]

I know many ppl talk in a baby-ish voice when talking to a baby but Chris doing that ... creeps me out.

Baby is ginger - it's beautiful. Done!

 

[moimoi]

MILA

 

[memoii11]

Who the hell hangs ROPE in a child's bedroom?! Are they insane?! No need to answer that, I know they are! That's an accident waiting to happen.