"Hit-ler, has on-ly got one ball......."
“The Ick” #3
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I was literally singing this in my head and then I click on the next page and here you are singing the words right out my mouth
Lucky one didn't slip off and get stuck!
Was his mum nice? That might go some way to making up for the rest!
The food was nice but she was cold and didn't seem to like the fact I had a reasonable level of intellect.
Suffice to say, I didn't see any of them ever again
It's crazy what you'll do when you're unwell. I didn't even fancy him in the slightest. He had layers upon layers of teeth, (something he hid in his photos by having his mouth closed).
@TapToBoreMeRigid what did you get up to on your week with him?
He went out to work at 5am and came home at about 1pm. I slept, watched tennis on his Sky TV and smoked cigarettes. When he was there we had sex, (I wanna barf), or he'd tank off his mushroom over my boobs. He had a very long and thin pen with a ridiculously disproportionate glans. He would cook Chicken Dippers for us. It's all he ate. He had nothing else in. I ordered food for us a few times because I wouldn't have been able to tit living like that for a week.
He owned the house outright though he had a low-paid job because he'd purchased it with inheritance. He had odd priorities. No washing machine but Sky TV and every games console you can imagine. I got out of the shower one day and asked for a towel. He said I should have brought my own. I used one of his briefly until I realised it was either filthy or had been washed and dried very slowly - it stank of mildew. After that I dried myself on spare clothes I'd brought. Additionally the place had no heating. Oh and he wouldn't let me into the spare room.
My period came on while I was there and completely ruined his mattress. I felt bad until he ghosted me when I got home. Meanwhile I met my now husband! He caught wind of me seeing someone, presumably from stalking my twitter, and tried to ingratiate himself again. I led him up the garden path, with hub's knowledge, so that I could eventually tell him to duck himself. Sometimes I check his twitter and he hasn't evolved at all. This was over a decade ago so he's in his late 30s.
He thought he was deep because he enjoyed films with Manic Pixie Dream Girls in. Lame. I know now he was only interested because I was unstable, big titted with red hair - things he fetishised.
He sounds like a catch
was deffo the mushroom weeny for meThe towel part
It just shows length is NOT everything
Oh no please stop, this is an image I cannot unseeIt just shows length is NOT everything
An ick I discovered recently is you know the bags with LV all over Louis Vuitton dkny etc they make me wanna vomit. Absolutely gross. I’d prefer a really expensive bag shoes etc without the name written all over it.
if that said primark etc no would want it it’s just so classless in my opinion and very off putting lol
if that said primark etc no would want it it’s just so classless in my opinion and very off putting lol
One of very best friend's is male and he once tried sitting next to me at a pub rather that opposite. I had to tell him he needs to sit opposite me haha, I get it if there is no space but come on! He has never tried it again lol
It sounds like one of those Asian mushrooms that are long and thin so the end looks extra thick.
Long and thin goes too far in,It just shows length is NOT everything
Short and thick does the trick
That is exactly it.
Additionally he had a very strong accent, (I won't give away the region), and whenever my husband wants to wind me up he puts the accent on
Have you eaten chicken dippers since?That is exactly it.
Additionally he had a very strong accent, (I won't give away the region), and whenever my husband wants to wind me up he puts the accent on
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