Is her name Mary, by any chance?
Is her name Mary, by any chance?Guys it's been a while since I've been heavily involved in this thread (the DIS people bore the shit out of me anymore), but I had a question and thought you all would be able to give me some honest answers...
I met this lovely woman at Publix who was working at the Aprons counter and thought I HAVE to invite her over for Christmas. What do you all think?
Having been raised by a narcissist (and just realizing it @ 45y/o) I can say that this summarizes the complicated dynamic very well. I imagine #3 played a big role for some. Those who have not been the victims of a narcissist, as part of a close relationship, cannot truly understand the intricacies of it. A lot of people on the outside are oblivious to it. Hell, the other members of my nuclear family don't see anything wrong with my parent's behaviour, and they have been witnesses to it just as long as I have, except they haven't been the recipient of the abuse.As one of these people who is still trying to wrap her head around her time there, I think there is a lot to support this view of yours.
I tried to post the link to a video I came across in a Narcissistic Abuse Survivor group on Facebook, but I guess Tattle doesn’t support that. Instead, I’ll just type the information here because while it is simplified to create hit and run content, it was still helpful in explaining how both the abused and the abuser feed the toxicity of trauma bonding and why.
Again, I’m not excusing any behavior or poor life choices. My stand remains that we need to take responsibility for the choices we made that enabled this monster, but I do appreciate the explanation of the how the players in this story can fit into more than one category at the same time. It’s a toxic, co-dependent relationship in which both sides feel they have to prop up its existence.
6 CHARACTERISTICS OF TRAUMA BONDING
1. Intermittent Reinforcement: The abuser may alternate between moments of kindness or affection and episodes of abuse or mistreatment. This inconsistency can create confusion and attachment to the abuser during moments of apparent affection.
2. Isolation: The abuser may isolate the victim from family and friends, making the abuser the primary source of emotional support and connection.
3. Survival Instinct: The victim may bond with the abuser as a survival mechanism. In some cases, this helps the victim cope with the abuse, as they believe maintaining the bond is necessary for their safety or well-being.
4. Guilt and Shame: Victims of trauma bonding often experience feelings of guilt and shame, which can further reinforce the connection to the abuser.
5. Dependency: Victims may become emotionally dependent on the abuser for validation and self-esteem, believing they are unworthy or incapable of finding better treatment elsewhere.
6. Fear of Abandonment: The victim may fear the consequences of leaving the abuser, such as retaliation or abandonment, which can discourage them from breaking the bond.
Don’t know if this helps shed some light for others, but I hope it does.
What?!Craig graduated from Kent State University today
Good for him. I’m assuming through an online program?Craig graduated from Kent State University today
That would be one helluva commute otherwise...Good for him. I’m assuming through an online program?
These degrees are pointless. For a lot of media jobs they want people who have qualifications in things like History, the sciences, English lit, psychology etc. My top tip is don't get one of these degrees! Nothing to set you apart from others.Master of Arts in Media and Journalism according to his website resume. There are pics of the graduation on his instagram
He has a burgeoning career as a writer! I hear he is working on something big!Craig has such a bright future that he is being weighed down by this awful company and a beautiful family. Ryno has…nothing? He is qualified to definitely man a merchandise cart in universal Orlando.
Ryan R. R. Clavin.He has a burgeoning career as a writer! I hear he is working on something big!
Oh goody, it's going to take over 10 years to get that essay doneRyan R. R. Clavin.
It’s never coming. Too many holiday cupcakes to get to with different frostings to review.Oh goody, it's going to take over 10 years to get that essay done
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