First, thank you very much for taking the time to carefully and considerately answer so many questions. I hope you're feeling better soon. While I'm sure (or at least I hope) that your presence here is driven primarily by your own self-healing journey (which is all that really matters), it is also welcomed by those of us who'd like to learn more and understand how things ended up where they did.
I have a few motives for being here. And not that you did, but it would be fair to call those motives into question. For the sake of transparency, I am showing my hand. I have four motives, and I'll list them here in order of importance to me.
1) What happened to Sean and Dustin is MONSTROUS! As someone who participated in the community that enabled sexual abuse to happen repeatedly, I feel a responsibility to amplify their voices and lend credibility to what they are revealing. They were brave to speak up. And while they should be given room to step away, take a breath, and move on when they are done, the rest of us need to take in what happened so that we don't enable it again in the future. It's hard thing to do, though, if the full picture isn't brought into the light and examined.
2) I do have a personal story of trauma, and being quiet has kept me from being able to fully release that pain. Being at The Dis was akin to ingesting a teaspoon of poison every day. I have some internal damage from it. Posting here has been like getting my stomach pumped. Yes, it is cathartic, but it is also very uncomfortable. It is taking a little bit of a toll on me mentally, emotionally, and physically. Hopefully, I'll find that freedom at the end, though, making it worth it.
3) The team that is still in place does not have a voice--not really. And they won't have one until they separate themselves from John. You can see evidence of that by how he silences strangers on the internet. Imagine being someone who sits across the table from him and depends on his bank deposit every week. They do not have the freedom to be candid. I can't tell their personal stories for them (and it isn't my place to anyway), but I am in a position to inform others about their circumstances and shed some light on what it probably feels like from their seat. I know for fact some of them want you guys to have the information you are getting, and I'm trying to give an honest take on the many layers of this horror story for their sake as well as those of us who aren't there anymore.
4) As participants in The Dis community, past or present, you guys really do have a right to know some of this stuff. As I said before, I believe the viewers, listeners, travel clients, and Disboards community have also enabled this. From a financial perspective, you *could* say "the buck stops here" because this is the way everything is funded. Without the audience and the money, none of this exists, so the "outsiders" actually have a big responsibility. Anyone holding this type of responsibility, should know what they are giving power to. Some of it is obvious because of the toxic signs on display, but the ugliest parts are not so obvious. Community participants should be told about the things they cannot see so that they can decide whether they are at peace with the role they have played (or will continue to play) in all this.
There! All of my cards on the table. Now you guys can see how I am playing what I was dealt.