The Depression Thread #2

[Carapop]

Completely relate to that feeling. It's never a good sign. Whatever you decide, I hope you begin to feel much better soon.



Thanks for replying. I can't imagine being on a med for 10 years and then going cold turkey! That sounds rough. Are you still feeling the withdrawal symptoms then? Have you noticed any improvement? I went from feeling good to feeling as though I was being swallowed into a black pit (depression cliche, but an accurate one). I'm still debating whether to go back to the antidepressant or stay off it for a few more weeks.

You're definitely right about the UK being a mess right now. I've stopped watching the news because politics, war and environmental crises are stressing me out so much. I know everyone must be feeling it to some extent.

Vitamin D is a good idea too. The nurse actually gave me a prescription for some Vitamin D. Sometimes iron helps too if you're feeling especially tired.

the meds took the edge off for sure, I cried less, but I also felt less of everything. I lost some of myself I think. I have good days and bad, and appreciate the good more than I ever did before. No one feels happy all the time. We all have different baselines too. For some, our very happiest state may be just the momentary absence of sadness. Life is suffering, as the Buddhists say, and I think realising that makes the sadness and anxiety a bit easier to contend with. It all sounds a bit miserable maybe but sometimes it’s in resisting and regretting where we get into the most mess. And the meds will always be there if I feel I just can’t cope without. But for now, I might be white knuckling it, but I’m getting through it !

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

Once again I’m going through a bad patch and I’ve even told myself if things don’t improve and start looking up for me in a year, then im done. I don’t like to think like that but I just feel the depression taking over more and more.

I’m just about to have a weeks leave from work but I’m dreading it as I have nothing planned and no one to spend time with. The person I’d normally reach out to hasn't spoke in almost 3 weeks, in fact he didn’t reply to my last message. Any suggestions of what I can do to stop myself from sinking deeper? I was hoping to go on a boat trip but I can no longer afford it.

Sorry you are feeling like this. It can be really affecting (not sure if that is the right word) when the person you usually rely on isn’t there for you.

Try not to look too far in the future. That won’t help the way you are feeling and can exacerbate things. Focus on small things. Get through to lunchtime. Get through to the end of the day. Get to the end of week. Get to the end of the weekend.

In terms of the boat trip, is there anything else you could do that costs less but is still a nice “day out”? A trip to the beach/local garden/house/lake etc. If you are able to do these things (money and mood allowing ), you could book one in each Monday (again, don’t look too far ahead) and there is something each week.

I am sure others will have other suggestions.

We are here. You are here and you deserve to be here xxx

 

[Maid22]

I’m ok thank you, been a rough few days
How are you doing??

Sorry you've been through that x
Am ok, just struggling to have some sleeps.

 

[LennyBriscoe]

Just picked my dog up!

She’s seriously woozy, and definitely not talking to me. She has a massive open wound that I have to keep clean (and keep teenager and 3yo away from) and she may need another surgery.

But she’s home

Aw special cuddles for her tonight! Glad you’ve got her home

 

[Agent Cooper]

I keep losing this thread

Tomorrow I’m going to ask my gp about mood stabilisers rather than antidepressants. I’ve been on the for 6 months and feel not different. My moods are up and down and I can go from calm to enraged back to calm within a few hours, it’s stressing me out. My gp isn’t the best though so he’ll probably say no
I’ve got an appointment with my therapist in the morning too, she’s nice but it isn’t helping at all. I’m talking about my past but it’s not helping me now. I don’t know if that’s what is supposed to happen because I have never had therapy before these sessions started.

Hey, I just wanted to say I am sorry to hear that you are struggling, but you are not alone! I know what it feels like, hope you can find a way out. How did your appointments go?

I had to Google that but I’m the same. My only hobby is the gym. I just can’t concentrate on stuff I want to do (art, learning languages etc). Being active gets the good chemicals going and is better than nothing. Do you enjoy any kind of physical activity?

Thank you for your reply Truth be told, I really hate sports but I go jogging every day. It helps me take my mind off things but I don’t notice any improvement in my mood. I know what you mean about art and languages. There are so many things I want to do/learn but I just don’t enjoy the process. I want instant results, I want to be the best, I can’t settle for less. I know I have unrealistic expectations but it’s such a vicious cycle.

I remember feeling like this at my first office job. I wish I could go back in time and get myself excited about nature preserves. They give me so much life. Having a guide book for local nature and history make it easy to get into the hobby.

This is such a great idea! I actually love nature, I even have a small garden with herbs and flowers. I think I will try to spend more time outside this summer Thank you!

 

[KawaiiSloth]

just had my PIP assessment over the telephone. for depression/anxiety and severe eczema. The lady was nice on the phone I didn't feel like she was badgering me or trying to trick me out. She says decision will be made in 6 weeks

I had the same, I was in a psych ward at the time and they rang me out of the blue with no warning! The assessment only lasted SIX minutes, which I was sure I had failed. However, a few weeks later I did get awarded PIP and i'm so thankful.

Edit: I didn't tell the assessor that I was in a psych ward, just that my Quietiapine had been increased.

 

[Dogtanian]

I've been bad for the last few months and I finally went to the doctor 3 weeks ago. I had an online assessment last week with another unit and we talked about everything - grief, long term disease, lifespan, health, family, current support, money, suicide, previous doctors response, lack of motivation, lack of concentration etc.
I'm waiting for a follow up appointment with the GP who's already mentioned pills and a therapy course. I just don't know what to expect going forwards whether things will improve or if they'll just stay like this.

 

[Maid22]

Looks like I have shite to deal with later, my oh is on the way home, hasn't gone on the run, I'm really too tired to deal with anything.

 

[Carapop]

i’m desperate for help and I’m dreading being told I can’t get it.

Say this!

Write some notes down before your appointment. When you’re feeling calmer and relaxed in your own safe environment without anyone looking at you expectedly. Read this to the doctor. It will take some pressure off you and the occasion.

You don’t need to be overwhelmed. The GP will recommend the drugs and dosage. This is their job and not yours.

Please don’t google the different drugs and possible side effects. It will only worry you. EVERY POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECT that has been noted in trials has to be recorded and our minds are so powerful we can convince ourselves of Damn near anything with enough suggestion. The placebo effect is strong and can work against us as often as it works for us.
Some have side effects disappear after a few days, some weeks, others might have side effects that persist throughout (but the side effects pale in comparison to what the drugs are managing to effectively treat). And there are lots and lots of people who have no side effects at all at all.

What else have you tried? I find medication is most effective when it’s not the only tool being employed. It can help you regain your footing and strengthen you to face your demons in therapy. Or make it easier get out of bed in the morning to start the day with a walk. Quiet the noise in your brain so you can try meditating or yoga or acupuncture or a new hobby you always wanted to try.

And as said above, if you don’t like the first drugs you try, then there are loads more to play with. It’s going to be a bit of an experiment but you’re not on your own and there is a whole world of opportunity out there.

 

[Pollyanna263]

@Pollyanna263 haven't seen for a while, hope you're ok, sending

Thank you

I’m here, and I’m reading. I desperately want to reply to so many posts, but I just don’t have the words. I feel awful because my natural instinct is to try and bring comfort, but I’m drowning right now and I can’t find the words.

Lots going on here. Dredging up so many things in therapy, sort of accidentally skipped from the birth trauma to my last relationship which ended when I fell pregnant - which I am now coming to see was with a very controlling narcissist who was in fact controlling to the point of abuse. Not physically, but emotionally, and in terms of always knowing where I was and who with for every day of the years we were together, while he was off doing exactly what he pleased. Seeing it all with clarity has hit me hard, while trying to deal with him for access over my youngest has floored me.

In amongst all that, Psych paused my venlafaxine withdrawal as it was just hideous. Re-starting now so

Just need a couple of weeks alone in a nice beach house somewhere…. If only!!

 

[bamboo98]

I ran out of meds on Friday and didn't have time to get to the pharmacy to get the next batch. Thought I'd be fine but jesus I crashed on Sunday, and felt awful today, just picked up my prescription now. It was really stupid of me, I feel really low, crying for hours today. Feeling so lonely and like I don't matter to anyone, thank god my partner is here to make me dinner and look after me. I've taken my meds now so hopefully better tomorrow

I hope you feel better soon
Can you use an online pharmacy? I’ve used one for a few months now and they get posted through my letterbox, they send me a reminder to order the prescription too which is handy.

 

[Jwren]

I am trying so hard to ride this out but I can't do anything. I've spent three days just sitting, not doing much. I haven't even been able to do my washing which has been sitting in the washer for two days.



Yes! One of my medications depletes my vitamins so much. I still get unwell incredibly easily despite taking supplements for about a year now. It's important for physical health too, getting sick often adds to my depression and motivation. Especially in winter too when most people are low on vitamin D.

You probably already know this but if you don’t be sure you‘re getting enough magnesium because your body needs magnesium to absorb and regulate vitamin D and vitamin D depletes magnesium. I take a spray vitamin D especially in the winter months. Also people taking a multi-vitamin will assume they get enough Magnesium but it’s often a very small dose in a multivit. As with everything check it’s right for you.
Lots about the importance of magnesium online

Vitamin D and Magnesium - Benefits, Dosages, and Why They Should Go Together | Imaware

What is Vitamin D, and what is magnesium for, for that matter? Why are they inextricably linked according to the science of nutrition? Learn more in our guide.

www.imaware.health

Magnesium Supplementation in Vitamin D Deficiency - PubMed

Vitamin D screening assay is readily available, but the reported lower limit of the normal range is totally inadequate for disease prevention. Based on the epidemiologic studies, ∼75% of all adults worldwide have serum 25(OH)D levels of <30 ng/mL. Because of the recent increase in global awarenes …

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

Vitamin C, B’s, omega 3 are some other ones that come to mind where stress/depression are concerned. Vitamin C and B‘s are also depleted by stress and being water soluble the body doesn’t store it, so we need to supply our bodies with it everyday, even more so at stressful times.

 

[Beaversabout]

Anyone else taking fluoxetine (Prozac) or meds, and feel a bit better, but still feel completely empty on the inside. How do you deal with this? Or is it just a matter of counselling and time?

 

[parrot456]

Anyone have experience with Duloxetine? I don’t think it’s suiting me at all. I was originally on Prozac but after a bereavement, covid, hard time at work etc. It wasn’t doing anything for me and had to change.

I’m only young but I have struggled with my mental health for years and I know it’s something that I will have to maintain for the rest of my life.
I just wonder sometimes why some people struggle with MH and others don’t ya know…

 

[shadowcat5]

Im really sorry for posting for on here cause my problem is so pathetic but I’m really miserable at the moment. I feel like I’ve hit breaking point. All I’ve done for 2 days is cry. I haven’t been in work for 2 days cause I’ve ill but a bit of me is berating myself cause I wonder if I do actually feel ill or am I just sad and needed a break. I feel guilty for missing work cause I only starts a few week ago but I honestly couldn’t face it. I’ve posted about my struggles with the office on another thread but I’m really starting to hate the office environment. It just overwhelming. I keep telling myself that I’m lucky and I am grateful but i just can’t cope anymore

 

[StillLucilleBluth]

I’m back again. Been struggling for ages but ‘just’ writing that down has felt too difficult. But today is particularly dark and I wanted to reach out because I’m feeling more alone than ever.
I’m going to try to get things off my chest but I’ll put it in a spoiler so you don’t have to read if you don’t want to (I won’t be offended ). Apologies if the spoiler doesn’t work - I hardly post on Tattle so I’ve never done one before!!

Spoiler

I genuinely feel like I have nothing to live for. I can’t work due to health conditions and tbh I spend 99% of my days in bed. Financially I can’t do anything nice for myself, not even a hair cut so naturally I feel awful about myself and my self image. I l’m autistic so struggle with friendships at the best of times but I have no friends now. I genuinely feel so alone. All my hobbies I either can’t afford to do or can’t do because of my health. Getting no help from mental health services or social work/social care. I just can’t shake the fact that no one gives a crap and no one would miss me.

To finish on a more positive note, I have to give some credit to my cat. He makes me smile even on days like today.

Your cat would miss you And I’m sure lots of other people would too. X

 

[newaccount2022]

Hi, this is my first time posting.
I feel as if I'm really struggling with my depression. My Rheumatoid Arthritis is flaring up and poorly with gallstones and waiting for my gallbladder removed. Currently off work. This scares me as worried about losing my job due to absence and my wages. Sorry for rambling on. I just feel so lost lately. Sending love & strength to everybody

That’s a lot on your plate you poor thing sorry to hear you are unwell physically as well right now - is your doc helpful with managing symptoms, is there things you can take for pain? I had gallbladder issues last year and omg I wouldn’t wish that pain on my worst enemy

Try not to stress about work right now - you need to get better in order to even be of any use at work so that’s your focus right now. Have you checked into qualifying for disability due to your RA?

 

[Eeyore147]

Brain is mush after therapy. That means it’s working, right?

Psych this afternoon. So nervous.

Meds weaning is going okay so far.


Hope everyone is okay

I always end up falling asleep after therapy or seeing the Psychiatrist. It’s absolutely draining. Sending you

 

[Eeyore147]

Are you in the UK? I do the prescription prepayment, it works out so much cheaper x

Same here, PPC is so much cheaper and takes the stress off. Hope they work though x

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

Hi guys I’m sorry for posting on here you seem to all know each other and I’m sorry if you would prefer me to post elsewhere. I know I am going to end things soon and I feel like I am too scared to jump or OD incase I wake up. The other alternative: I’m not sure how to do it. I am worried I will do it wrong. Anyway I’m not sure why I’m writing this but i can’t find anything online for tips on how to be successful. Xx

I can only echo what the other two have said.

Please, please reach out if you can to someone via phone or message. Those resources @Pollyanna263 are there to help and listen if you need it.

As @Maid22 pointed out, we are all here because we need a place to be. You are as welcome as anyone. We pop in and out as and when and there will be always be someone around.

Don’t worry about what you post. Say what you need. That is what this thread is for.

Xxx