The Depression Thread #2

[Agent Cooper]

Hey @Agent Cooper

Stop wallowing

Get a glass of cold water, step outside in the dark and just take a moment to just breathe.

Or, take that glass of water up to bed, but some quiet music on, wash your face, brush your teeth, and get cosy xxx

Thank you so much Pollyanna! I just had that glass of water, but before that I made myself shower, brush my teeth and paint my nails. I’m going to get some sleep, wake up early and try to have a good day tomorrow. Thank you, I appreciate it more than you know

 

[Sideboard Bob]

@Into_the_tunnel I just want to echo what Lenny said, you really do deserve to get help and support. Those resources are for YOU as well. I hope deep down you know that

 

[Pollyanna263]

Thanks for your kind comment. x

I said I'd give it 6 weeks and I have. Nothing's improving at all, so I don't think there's much point in struggling through this for another month or more.

Sometimes we have to have a bit more help. There’s no shame in it, but it feels like such a big decision. It took me a long time to make it. We all understand x

 

[Maid22]

I hate this time of year

Me to, big time

 

[Eeyore147]

just had my PIP assessment over the telephone. for depression/anxiety and severe eczema. The lady was nice on the phone I didn't feel like she was badgering me or trying to trick me out. She says decision will be made in 6 weeks

Wishing you lots of luck for the right outcome. Those assessments can be awful.

 

[StatusWoe]

Just wanted to say thanks to everyone who replied to the panic attack question. x

I agree with what has been said about closing your eyes and deep breathing, I also try to hum something in my head.
People think it's a joke but it is really debilitating isn't it?
Last month I had an attack inside an MRI scanner - chaos.

Oh definitely. Those MRI scanners can be really claustrophobic. Apparently it's not uncommon for them to trigger anxiety attacks.

When I had panic disorder I was on Sertraline and propranolol for panic attacks and I would recommend propranolol as it slows your heart rate and makes life a bit calmer. I had 40mg 3 times a day or sometimes I swapped to 80mg slow release.

I'd like to try Propranolol but don't think I can mix it with my current meds.

 

[rainbowlemon]

I would always feel so emotionally drained after each session. I hope your appointment went okay.

 

[Maid22]

I’m starting to wonder if I need to speak to a doctor or if it would be worth it as I don’t want to take medication for it.

I have developed what I think is anxiety, it gives me a heavy feeling in my chest and I struggle to function, it almost feels like it pins me down. I force myself through it as best as I can but some days even sorting the washing feels like a struggle. Other times I get it and go into flight mode where I need to get out and walk until it feels calmer.
Sometimes I snap out of it and then I’ll feel super happy but it’s short lived. Today I’ve woken up and I’m riddled with it.

I think it wouldn't hurt to see the doctor, it's shit feeling like that, it took me months to get help, I thought I could deal with it, but after having a break down, I had no choice, but am glad I did.

 

[bamboo98]

I keep losing this thread

Tomorrow I’m going to ask my gp about mood stabilisers rather than antidepressants. I’ve been on the for 6 months and feel not different. My moods are up and down and I can go from calm to enraged back to calm within a few hours, it’s stressing me out. My gp isn’t the best though so he’ll probably say no
I’ve got an appointment with my therapist in the morning too, she’s nice but it isn’t helping at all. I’m talking about my past but it’s not helping me now. I don’t know if that’s what is supposed to happen because I have never had therapy before these sessions started.

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

I won't bother with the GP, I ran myself into the ground recently and was signed off. I'm back to work now, I think it's likely a case of burnout. I've been on ADs for years and am well versed in my MH - it's scary though when you think you're out of the worst of it, because you have this false sense of security. But shit mental health, you never truely escape it.

Fortunately, I'm not alone - I have my partner who is supportive and my kids. I just need to really grit my teeth and get through this

Please take care of yourself.

You sound very self-aware regarding this so I am probably speaking to the converted, but when it hits it is hard to see things rationally.

I am not saying what I should… sorry. Will come back and be more eloquent

 

[Maid22]

Angry and upset isn’t good Hope you manage some rest, if not sleep x

I'm actually looking forward to tomorrow, yeah I'm ticking at the mo, I just really hate being shit on and folks get away with it!
How's your doggy xx

 

[Fanny Muchmore]

I spoke to my GP yesterday. She was really lovely and supportive and is going to change my antidepressants. Not sure if we're allowed to mention medications here, but I have to do 3 weeks on a half dose of what I'm on now, then switch to the new medication.

 

[Pollyanna263]

It's should be a red flag hun when I went docs the other month I told her the same even when I attempted it. Nothing came from it and id fault id loose my kids. I've been having these feelings for years I have acted on them tho but I now know I won't because I'm out the situation that drove me to do it in the first place. Your doing everything you should and should be proud of what your achievements. Your great no matter if you don't feel it. Sending you hugs xxx

Thank you

Proud of your strength x

 

[ilovepizza21]

I'm so depressed right now. Infertility, grief and trauma are kicking my arse. Sorry to post out of the blue

This is why this thread was made never ever be sorry

2 failed relationships ( one cheated, I dumped him and the other decided I wasn't for him as I had low self esteem, I did too much for him and his daughter and I had put on weight !!!) , stressful job, a miscarriage in the mix finally took its toll. I've been on anti depressants now for 4.5 years, an 8 week stay in St Pats Dublin in 2020. Straight into lockdown once I came home. I live alone so I definitely feel last few years have been tough!

Currently on sick leave from work. Attended my psychiatrist a few weeks ago and said I'm still not feeling great finding the mornings so tough. Low motivation, no energy etc. So I'm currently weaning off venlaflaxine ( was on max dose 375mg) along with citalopram 20mg.
In 2 weeks or so I will be starting zyban 150mg, has anyone been on this (its normally used to wean off cigarette addiction)
Thanks for reading

Sending hugs and I know how you feel I left my kids dad he was a narcissist and DV was really bad and I never knew how bad till I was out off it. He didn't hang about and jump straight into a relationship like 14years ment fuck all... when I finally let someone in swept me of my feet I was never that happy with my ex about 7/8 weeks ago found out he was with his wife the whole time. Owed me 500 that I lent him he used me and was very clever with it. I just feel so unlovable all the time I never be good enough for someone one. So I know how feel 🫂

 

[ilovepizza21]

Read this bit out loud.
None of what has happened is my fault.

I know you don’t believe that. I know it’s been told to you over and over that it is your fault, but it’s not. I promise you that.

You have given your all to helping your son.
You gave years to your ex.

Now it’s time to do what feels right for you

Right now I don't know what's right my heads a mess the only time I've left the house was to take daughter to school, I was proud I walked the dog but it was hood up, head to the floor and made no eye contact (we go same place every time so talk to regulars) I requested a sick note which i now need too pluck the courage up to collect and hand into work. I hate I'm back here again not even 6months later. The fault of having to relive the abuse makes me feel sick but I know if I don't he would get away with it forever.

 

[Squittel]

Struggling here.

On a very gradual venlafaxine withdrawal, dropping by 37.5mg every 4 weeks. Yesterday was the second drop, I was hoping it would be easier than last month but it’s not.

I feel physically awful and I know it’s the withdrawal but I wish I could just fall asleep for a few days and wake up with it out of my system.

Mentally not in a great place either. Nothing in particular, just everything feeling hard, you know? Can’t find the positives in anything.

Littlest child going through a massive separation anxiety phase too which is lovely because it cements our attachment, but it also feels smothering when I’m all he wants.

I’ve been there and I feel you! I promise it gets better. When I eventually was fully off it it was like a cloud lifted, I felt more awake and alert. Are you going onto a small dose of anything else? I found a small dose of Prozac helped to keep the Venlafaxine demons at bay.

 

[Pollyanna263]

Sorry to be like this, but I’m really struggling today. Would appreciate some good thoughts my way x

Sending you all the good energy I can

ITT has said it perfectly.
It never feels possible when we’re in the midst of it, when that wave engulfs us - but we always come out the other side.

Keep talking to us xx

Edit to add

Spoiler: Good enough is always enough❤️

 

[Pollyanna263]

just had my PIP assessment over the telephone. for depression/anxiety and severe eczema. The lady was nice on the phone I didn't feel like she was badgering me or trying to trick me out. She says decision will be made in 6 weeks

That’s good! Well done

I’ve been encouraged to apply because of PTSD and depression (been signed off work 2 1/2 years so far ) but I can’t do it for some reason.

 

[nimblefimble]

My mental illness is ruining everything. I ruin every good day with my meltdowns, think I’m ruining my long term relationship, everyone around me gets irritated with me. I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like a waste of space.

 

[lemonlavender]

I’m currently on 300mg of Zyban, I have 2 weeks left and the pharmacy cannot get anymore as it’s on the shortage list. Waiting on my psychiatrist to ring me back, however I’m starting to panic. Have come off venlaflaxine just 8 months ago and was feeling a little better on Zyban