The Depression Thread #2

[Slaybutter]

Been feeling utterly miserable, for many reasons, and I said to my husband today that I was looking forward to feeling a bit stronger so I could put the Christmas tree up and cheer myself up.

Then I see a post by a friend on Facebook:

"Its been a LONG time since I felt like bricking someones windows....but a fukking XMAS TREE on the 9th of November!! Some people are C**TS"

Made me feel like utter shite for even thinking about it.

It’s his opinion, he’s entitled… Just don’t invite him around for a few weeks

 

[InTheDollsHouse]

Hello, so glad I found this thread as I need people that will understand.

a week ago now I had my meds changed from citalopram(which id been on since 2018) to Mirtazapine, and I honesty feel awful, I could literally just cry all day, I hate everyone pretty much and I just feel so irritated and on edge, I could just scream and scream, I know it’s only been a week so of course I’ve got to give it longer but fuck me it’s hard, things that don’t normally bother me are pissing me off big time. and I get bouts where I just wanna I don’t think there’s much talk around how changing your beds affects you, please tell me it gets better

I took Mirtazapine for quite a while, and it really did help me with the panic side of things. It’s quite different to Citalopram though.

Are you taking the Mirt at night? What dose are you on?

Don’t give up on it yet

 

[BettyCrockerr]

So I'm more of a lurker on tl but I'm in a rut atm!
I suffer with bpd, I've been okay for a couple of years, I have therapy & was happily working thru my issues.

Until a couple of weeks ago when my horse needed the vet as he's getting on & isn't as comfortable as he was. The vet said in no uncertain term that this will more than 80% be his last summer. I'm more than aware that he's older but the thought of this being our last summer has killed me. It's triggered a huge downward fall in my mood & tbh I just don't want to this anymore. I know this seems petty & I should feel privileged to have shared the past 3 years with him. But this horse has saved my life more than a few. He's the keeper of all my secrets, he's my escape from reality on a daily basis. No matter how shit my day, I know when I arrive at the farm he will be there shouting me & happy to see me. I don't remember life before him.

He's the one solid consistent in my life, he's never left me or let me down. I have no family of my own, I have a partner & my son but that's where my family ends. My mother is an alcoholic, father ducked out when I was 3.

I've lived thru alot of trauma in my 30 years of life. I just don't know if this ticking time bomb of loosing my best friend is the cherry on the cake.
3 times last week I found myself a crying mess, crisis team never answered as was busy & so was the text line for samaritans.
I just don't want to anymore

What about your partner and your son? Are they not consistent, solid people in your life?

 

[ilovepizza21]

So after my last post things took another worse turn this morning son refused to go to school he ended up kicking off and getting really angry.... when this happens I get assulted so I have a bruised arm and back...took daughter to school and walked dog door bell rang police at the door someone reported the assulted... school said it wasn't them and next door said the same so no idea who it was... told them I was fine and didn't want to talk and early help and ss where useless last time... but they have referred to ss again (this isn't the first time he is truly a good kid and these don't happen often but they still awful when the do). School came out and did take him too school which was good.... I got a telephone appointment from doctors but 5mins later was called and said the doctors wants to see me.... I hardly spoke just cried told me to refer myself for talking therapy (I know I wont do this) and I agreed to go back on meds I use to be on citalopram but it didn't work for me so took myself off it b4 Xmas.... So she put me on sertraline and wants to see me in 4weeks b4 putting dose up and to see how it's working.... has anyone else on sertaline how have you found it as I'm uneasy taking it tbh.

@Pollyanna263 sending you hugs 🫂

 

[influenzainfluencer]

Day one on sertraline, any tips welcome

 

[Maid22]

Does anyone else have the fear that their loved ones will up and leave them because they’re so difficult to be around? I’m in constant fear that my partner will have enough of me one day because I’m such hard work, one of my friends has already told me I’m not fun anymore, which has made me feel 100x worse than what I already do

I used to feel like that, but when I had a breakdown, and ended up on meds, he was so good cos he understood what I was going through, though when I'm not well, he constantly worries about me, which I feel bad about. Don't worry about your friend, it's hard for folks to understand unless you're going through it, it's bleddy hard sometimes, I know easier said than done, but try not to beat yourself up x

 

[Maid22]

@bitterntwisted hi lovely how's you? I still read that thread, I love your posts, you do make me smile x

 

[ilovepizza21]

Sorry to be like this, but I’m really struggling today. Would appreciate some good thoughts my way x

Sending you good thoughts and hope your feeling a little better xx

I spend like crazy when I’m upset/very low.. I’m usually great with money and love saving and being on budget. But I get in these moods where I just lose control, I just love spending

I feel your pain I'm gambling alot at the moment

 

[candyland_]

First time poster on this thread.
I’m on the brink!
About to be made homeless……with 2 kids, my hubby and dog…..landlord has sold our house and is now starting to harass me! I cannot get a rental!!! It’s so hard. I work full time as does my husband. Life is not fair! I need a break! Docs have upped my meds……like that’s gonna make my problems disappear! Having EMDR and CBT therapy, navigating through PTSD! I need a fucking break! I honestly don’t know what to do, where to turn! I’m living on a knifes edge! Sorry for all the moaning I’m just exhausted. I never knew it would be this hard. I’m not looking for sympathy I’m looking for someone who gets how I feel. For almost a decade I’ve told myself “if it weren’t for my boys I wouldn’t be here”
I need, fuck knows!! I need help!

I’m sorry to hear this. Are the council helping?

 

[Dianne]

It’s hard to advise because everyone reacts differently to them. I’d guess Sertraline is commonly prescribed. I found it good for anxiety but made me feel really flat and I had stomach problems. It also made me weirdly happy at first, like bursts of mad excitement. I was on 50mg, then 100mg then 150mg. I swapped to Duloxetine 30mg turn 60mg and found that that was a better fit for me.

 

[The Devils Arse]

I've just had my medication, citalopram, increased to 40mg and I'm really struggling with the side effects. Constantly dehydrated and I just can't sleep. This is stressing me out so now I have a lovely tension headache as well to boot. I take it everyday around the same time, 7am.

I know it's short term issues for a longer term gain but I'm doubting if it's worth the lack of sleep and this bastard headache. I'm also getting married in 6 weeks which is adding to the stress. Plus I now also have some lovely dark circles.

Has anyone else has this? Hiw long did it take for you to start sleeping again?

Thank you x

 

[Pollyanna263]

@ilovepizza21 we’re here when you’re ready. You don’t need to explain why you were in hospital, or what happened, if you don’t want to or feel able.

Just know that we’re here. No judgement. Just understanding xx

 

[Beaversabout]

What’s your dosage? The first time I took Prozac I was on 20mg and had all the side effects imaginable, this time around I take 40mg and I’m a completely different person with few to no side effects. In fact, I feel like I’m slowly becoming my pre-depression self, I never thought it would be possible.

Counselling can be very beneficial, but you have to work quite hard to find a therapist you can click with. I’ve found that talking to most of them just makes me feel worse, but I’ve also had a few positive experiences when they pointed out the root causes I wouldn’t have thought of. So unfortunately, you just have to try it and see for yourself.

Im On 10mg to start then maybe 20. 10 was enough to take the edge off and now I'll be getting counselling. Yh it's just trying to see wat works I suppose.

 

[bitterntwisted]

For the past two days I have been feeling miserable with no reason. I feel like there is something in the air beyond my mood disorder. I fell like I have learned about a death and my motivation is M.I.A.

@shadowcat5, how did the appointment go?

 

[Dianne]

I took 25mg Sertraline at first (just broke the tablet in half) because it made me feel sick on 50mg straight away. If I can remember I took it in the morning with water then had my breakfast.