Hello all I hope you're all okay

I would wanted to come on here because I feel like I need to voice some things that are weighing heavy on my mind and hopefully feel better for doing so.
I am currently 6 months pregnant and I am finding it very hard these last few weeks, I am signed off work due to very painful pelvic girdle pain and awaiting a review from the doctors to see what/if they can do or if I am ok to go back to work with changed duties.
I feel very sad a lot of the time at the moment and I couldn't explain why. On paper I have no reason to be sad I have a lovely house, good job, loving fiancé and crackpot animals that make me laugh, but I just feel so overwhelmed with life and the pregnancy it's becoming hard for me to process.
Everyone expects you to be a glowing bundle of joy when pregnant (I'm not!! I'm still spotty tired and the odd sickness!) And everyone keeps asking me if I'm crying with happiness over my growing bump (I'm not, I'm finding it very hard to adjust to a changing body I have no control of and I HATE it when people keep telling me how big I am, it isn't a compliment)
Maybe I am just having a bad few weeks but the only way I can describe how I feel is the feeling of being overwhelmed and everyone tells me how I SHOULD feel and how I shouldn't be sad because I'm carrying a blessing.
Sorry for the rant I just needed to air my thoughts x
Hi lovely, I tried to reply yesterday but couldn’t get my brain working. Now this has ended up too long, I’m sorry! But I want to say it all
The way you are feeling isn’t unusual, but it’s also not something you have to just deal with.
As already mentioned, antenatal depression is a real consideration. It’s
so much more common than we realise, and it’s never discussed which is frankly dangerous.
To give you some reassurance (and I’m making assumptions here based on my own experience, so please forgive me if I’m way off) I didn’t say anything to my midwife when I felt that overwhelming sadness in my pregnancy. I told myself things like ‘you have nothing to be sad about, don’t be silly’ or ‘you and baby are both well, this is ridiculous, just snap out of it’
I also had an irrational but very loud worry that, by admitting that I wasn’t okay and asking for help, I might somehow be flagged as a mum who wouldn’t cope with her baby.
I was truly terrified that I might have my baby removed from my care when he was born, or that I might be watched closely or something.
This worry, I have since discovered, is also
so common - but it was irrational and completely unfounded.
It turns out that if I’d asked for help, if I’d been honest with myself and others, I would have been scooped up by the perinatal MH team who are the best people to help us cope and find ways to feel better.
There is no way my baby (or older child) would have been removed. I wish someone had told me that at the time, because then I would have been brave and been honest.
The other thing I found hard was when I saw my midwife, she just said something like ‘everything’s going well then?’ but it was a statement rather than a question, and it made it impossible for me to say actually no, it’s not okay, I’m falling apart and I don’t know how to glue myself back together!
If you aren’t sure how to approach it, do you have your MW’s mobile number? If so you could possibly text her before your appointment.
The best way, though, would be to tell your GP when your sick note is reviewed today, because that will then give you more space from work while you focus on
you.
‘the feeling of being overwhelmed and everyone tells me how I SHOULD feel’
- this jumped out at me from your post. Please know that there is no ‘should’ in any of this.
Two opposite feelings can co-exist -
You can be happy and thankful to be pregnant
and you can find it overwhelming.
You can have a wonderful and supportive partner, a home and security
and you can feel alone, overwhelmed and scared.
One thing doesn’t negate the other. They are both valid, but the worrying ones don’t have to take over. There is so much help for you.
I hope you feel able to be honest today with the GP. I know how hard that first step is.