The Chateau Diaries #44 Once again the flogs are full of of Tits, Tat and Tedious Tours.

[Gibson]

Here we go - time to reintroduce our Caption competition! View attachment 652436

Bit of a cliche, but it has to be said;

Paint me like one of your French ladies!

Or...

Channel 4 made me do actual work!

Or...

Surely I will get Rogered now? Is there a man out there who can?

Or...

All of these clothes make me hot...where's my blue shirt dress?

SJ has her Snorts up her skirt 24 hours a day. She is happy.. But I think it is ridiculous how they all talk about the endless work that Nutti does. We never see her working.

Now there I have to correct you. She hardly wears any skirts- blousy dresses, shirts...

Steph is allergic to work therefore to film Natti working would give her a rash. I am of course making assumptions and I only assume that Nati allegedly works. I wouldn't want to offend her by implying that she does work.

It seems almost every dinner for b&b guests is roasted chicken and roasted potatoes ( cheap ingredients and no imagination) but edible.

Chickens are easy to find...oh wait, maybe Philip actually caught one

 

[TheTaxInspector]

Here we go - time to reintroduce our Caption competition! View attachment 652436

It's so tiring ... watching other people work

OR

Her Laziness waiting for Prince FillEp to cum into her boudoir

 

[Linus]

Here we go - time to reintroduce our Caption competition! View attachment 652436

I remember this one. The actual caption in worse than anything you can come up with

 

[Definitely Maybe]

Here we go - time to reintroduce our Caption competition! View attachment 652436

'Who will rid me of this troublesome Dutchman ? '

 

[Gibson]

At the moment it seems Dan is busy filming for his channel. Every youtuber moans about how much longer a project takes when you have to film it. I wonder if she will regret letting Dan do all of this filming (for his pocketbook) during working hours. Curious what percentage he is actually gardening vs. filming.

Hardly any I would imagine. He is pretty careful and I would assume he is entitled to breaks.
He films himself working so not exactly encroaching on any territory. She owes him I would imagine for forcing him to appear in her vlogs.

Here we go - time to reintroduce our Caption competition! View attachment 652436

Steph planning her vlogs is inspired...
So, when I go to hospital I need my home comforts!

 

[truthsayer]

Bit of a cliche, but it has to be said;

Paint me like one of your French ladies!

Or...

Channel 4 made me do actual work!

Or...

Surely I will get Rogered now? Is there a man out there who can?

Or...

All of these clothes make me hot...where's my blue shirt dress?



Now there I have to correct you. She hardly wears any skirts- blousy dresses, shirts...

Steph is allergic to work therefore to film Natti working would give her a rash. I am of course making assumptions and I only assume that Nati allegedly works. I wouldn't want to offend her by implying that she does work.


Chickens are easy to find...oh wait, maybe Philip actually caught one

Marie is as much of a cook as she is a florist. I would feel very disappointed in my dinner if I was served what these guests are served. But SJ gets her services far cheaper I am sure than a proper chef. It shows in the meals.

 

[Gibson]

I really enjoy them, and I prefer short vlogs. Oh my life, the shithole kitchen and entrance to it! So scruffy and messy, and the floor under the table..! ewwww it was disgusting - I though the point of stone floors was you can scrub them clean? does anyone clean there? dear god!
View attachment 652417

Greasy dirty door handles as well. I wonder who does Covid/cleanliness checks there? It really does show them up when visiting other Chateaus.
Anna and Eds was cleaner after a flood from a storm and even with flood water looked cleaner than this dump.

 

[arwensgal1975]

Yes, but you are assuming she has a "soul" I'm pretty sure she doesn't. My guess her sadness is because they are out of gin or whatever her alcohol of choice is.


Agreed! My guess is they are just white trash backwoods hicks claiming to be something they are not and have tried to come up with something they think will pass as respectable. In my Humble Opinion they have FAILED! I know many many Canadians from Vancouver Island to Newfoundland and everywhere in between and these two do not fit into what I would call "typical Canadians" either. There is NOTHING about them or their story that jives. Am I correct Sarah???? I know you are reading this.

Fellow Canadian here, from Kelowna Sarah and Steve maybe they are from Surrey BC ? LOL!

 

[LonePalm]

I suspect you have the capability to water your plants. Dan and Matt are still fiddling with the water supply which seems not to have reached the potager yet.

This is just so unbelievable! Why oh why would this not be done immediately? Oh wait, that would be a practical thing like insulation, heating, double pane windows and just general building up keep. Also the soil just looks so deprived of any nutrients, it should have had loads of compost brought in as well. What a complete twit queen grifter is!

 

[Arfarf]

Interesting to see the availability for the coming months. Who is staying at home in September when the trip to Venice is supposed to be happening

It is self service like a gas station.

Here we go - time to reintroduce our Caption competition! View attachment 652436

"Oh Philleep, your sock wore me out!"

 

[wibblywobbly]

It is self service like a gas station.


"Oh Philleep, your sock wore me out!"

Lol, at first glance I thought the gas station comment was your caption entry.

 

[Heathcliffe]

Oh I cannot bear it. To win against the Danes in such an embarrasing way, footballers have no shame. Rugby is a man's game. I have had one too many...what is happening in the world of Lalande? Give me a summary, I've been on holiday.

 

[Seeingitasitis]

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"What. Get up? Is it 1,30pm already?!"

Who drinks sherry? How often are the kettles and other drinks items cleaned and replaced? There are no televisions in room. Is wifi free? As someone asked earlier, can I help myself to an apertif or a cup of coffee from the kitchen? I can't believe the fans won't be a bit disappointed with their Friday night to Sunday morning experience. Interesting checkin is not until 4:00pm.

Perhaps Stephanie likes to be up in time to welcome her guests....

 

[Marten]

Here we go - time to reintroduce our Caption competition!

Staying in bed all day is my only way of not spending money.

 

[Arfarf]

Lol, at first glance I thought the gas station comment was your caption entry.

With Snorts around SJ might HAVE to do self service!!

Staying in bed all day is my only way of not spending money.

Wrong!!! She pays for BJJ while in bed.

 

[Pekey]

I believe if he was banished....and Gerry and IJ returned...things would be getting done around there.
And FIRE Nutti....NOT a good manager.

Oh hell yeah....... if Nutti was gone , snorts gone and old Mum and Gerry back the reno's would be in full swing!
SJ just loves to "play" and do "fun stuff" - like a child !

 

[Marquis de Potpourri]

Straight from the horse’s mouth Instagram. Confirmed. This Colombian dude is MPK's new semi-permanent "bottom".
Goodbye, Iñigo! Hello Andrew.

 

[truthsayer]

Some success story! We know Marie's language skills are far from perfect; are we sure she understands the meaning of "success"?


I tend to think this may be the real SJ and the rest is all acting for the camera. Certainly seems that both she and MP have been having a serious talk.

I think MP may want out of this circus. SJ is so much like her mother. A Jekyll and Hyde personality.

 

[FlyByeNight]

I wonder if the miserable look is that she is being forced to examine her own life & is having some sort of mid-life crisis. What has she achieved? Every material possession she has, has been acquired with other people's money. She has a chateau that she managed to acquire with money from her parents; she has hardly earned a penny from real work in her life. Her current earnings are from ad revenue for a few YT videos. She lives a hedonistic lifestyle, again paid for mostly by others. She has not managed to sustain a lasting adult personal relationship and is now with a timid young boy, half her age, rather than being in a loving, supportive, equal partnership. Most of the friends, employees and others surrounding her are drifters who also have unfulfilled lives. The fans and people financing her life are needy strangers and sycophants who lack common sense and intelligence and are searching for 2 minutes of attention from a stranger, wanting to hear their names read out on what they see as a TV programme. Maybe she is beginning to see that this is what her life amounts to. She had a lot going for her when she was young; she had financial security and a place at Oxford, she also had, what seems from afar, to have been a responsible and socially aware spouse. Now, she lives in a crumbling chateau, unable to get anything properly restored and finished and all she can manage to do is to add to all the unnecessary material possessions and fripperies that actually don't bring contentment. Maybe she realises that all the potential she had has been wasted.

Well I would feel this way. But I am not a narc. SJ may be one. Allegedly. If so, her brain won't get rewarded or punished by the same things that affect us.

She is purposefully building her life on other people's money. So I don't think she cares about that. Maybe she thought that American French society would give her $1M for renovations (err chandeliers and sitting surfaces) but these people are not stupid. (I hope!) Maybe she found out some people are resistant to charms and no millions are coming. Maybe she wants only beautiful skinny people who look good on camera to stay at her B&B and she's learning not all the upcoming visitors are that. Who knows.

 

[Pekey]

Here we go - time to reintroduce our Caption competition!

Dying on my Saggy Mattress .