The Chateau Diaries #294 Stephanie Jarvis looks like her farmhouse - a patched-up crumbling facade.

[JackSpratt]

Well done, MariE.

One big dinner party (what she served ticked all my boxes for a dinner party, rather than supper) does not a summer make, but it all looked good. She didn’t go overboard and she exercised restraint. She looked as if she was enjoying herself and that translated to what appeared on the plates.

Warm plates for the main course!!!!!! Huzzahs! Praise to St. Joseph and the other saints in the chapel.

If I was going to be uber nit picky, yes, the cornflake coating for the chicken breast was a bit too fine. However, the joy of seeing decent food at the crumbling heap far outweighs such a minor grizzle!

(Multiple near tantrums from the prancing twerp never fails to delight: I await the full Vesuvius eruption.)

I can't wait for him to really throw a strop, he might smash his china in a fit of temper. Happy Days indeed!

 

[Imperious Me]

It would make me sick to always do everything at the last minute. There was time to move the furniture around and redecorate for months. But as always, they wait until the guests are at the door. And considering Phiphi had supposedly been planning this event for months, they were pretty stressed the day the guests arrived. At the beginning of Advent she said that when they decorate each room for Christmas, they would clear it out at the same time. Was this months of planning?

Will this year's Easter extravaganza be an exclusive event? Is that why she has already invited her cheap vlogger friends to the trash party so that she can then organize a private Easter egg hunt for her fiancé with Pottie, John, Flowergayguy?

How disgusting to sit down at the table with guests in your work clothes, without a shower, without getting ready.

The portions that Marie serves are truly generous. Let's see whether the 75 euro menus for B&B guests are similar. I do not think so. There will be initial discussions about the budget... I can already see the first storm clouds gathering.

I'm looking forward to seeing what "treasures" the antiques and rarities fans can pick up cheaply. LOL

I thought that when I saw Marie had one chicken breast per person.. Marie had to make one go for 3 people,,

 

[Bleu Lala]

I took a look at that table again. You're right, it's not great. I think the tablecloth is more of a casual thing, like a French country look. They have so much to choose from in terms of dinnerware - I think that that white cabbageware they have would have looked so much better. Maybe they don't have enough of it for the amount of people they were serving? It might have been tied together better, too, if their florist extraordinaire, Marie, would have used some bright yellow and blue in the flowers. She used colors that look awfully "autumnal", as Philip would say.

The whole thing was pretty underwhelming for people who have more than most in terms of choices.

Hands on hips - They go together because everything is blue!

You / we wouldn’t know because you’re / we’re not a Christie’s Tastemaker…

 

[Imperious Me]

When did they need this sign?
Yes Snorts ruins everything.
He does not measure AnYthiNg.
The headboard doesn’t fit, the valance is too long etc etc.
Designer, not at all. He cannot arrange design or plan. His face aargh

Bloody hell! You could stand him on his head and not worry he'd tip over!

 

[TorontoGWM]

New thread?

“If they were giving away junk, who got her engagement ring?”

 

[Lochness Monster]

The bedroom suite and the fabric is just not right in the Chateau at all is it. No designer worth their salt would put a bed in a room that makes the bedside lights redundant or hard to use. The jumped up little prick wants to take the wheels off the bed (that is because he never cleans) that bedroom is a mess. It needs a complete overhaul. I loathe the bed and all matchy, matchy curtains, valance, tablecloth bedspread I don't like anything about it. The bedhead all ornate and over the top and doesn't fit, they are such muppets. The wall covering needs redoing. How can anyone pay to stay in that place is beyond me.

The fabric is coming off by itself…why does every mirror and picture snorts arranges just sit in the radiator or mantle. So dangerous.
We did not see any curtains in Bon mamas room so no one was sleeping in there either.
How many bedrooms were actually used and why in earth was it even necessary to move the Bauer bed? Vlog content required?
The dress up dinners and dancing are a thing if the last. Now a few dregs in jeans. Who would bother to travel to see Snorts flitting about and being filmed by Fanny.
The tension between Snort’s and Fanny is escalating.

Amoury lost the white in his eyes with this roll.

 

[LittleMore Cottage]

I just stmbled across this acount. lol


Lancelot de Lalande

just a little marquis puppy, trying to live my best life in a dumpy old farmhouse in rural France whilst unfortunately being surrounded by knobs

Lancelot de Lalande (@lancelotdelalande) • Instagram photos and videos

164 Followers, 789 Following, 27 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Lancelot de Lalande (@lancelotdelalande)

www.instagram.com

Omg. I thought it was from the farmhouse.... But reading the first post its not and its great. #freelancelot

 

[KiKiGee]

Noors Official
1 hour ago
Steph would you like to help a desperate student??

 

[huydecirku]

…why does every mirror and picture snorts arranges just sit in the radiator or mantle. So dangerous.

The radiators need to be good for something, if not heating, they need to have some other purpose.

 

[TorontoGWM]

The fabric is coming off by itself…why does every mirror and picture snorts arranges just sit in the radiator or mantle. So dangerous.
We did not see any curtains in Bon mamas room so no one was sleeping in there either.
How many bedrooms were actually used and why in earth was it even necessary to move the Bauer bed? Vlog content required?
The dress up dinners and dancing are a thing if the last. Now a few dregs in jeans. Who would bother to travel to see Snorts flitting about and being filmed by Fanny.
The tension between Snort’s and Fanny is escalating.

Amoury lost the white in his eyes with this roll.

Sadly, the gay men - Stewie, Patsy and The Gay Fiancé (& maybe Simon & Shrek at times) have no fashion sense whatsoever. Ironically, the lesbians were the best dressed there.

 

[M&MsMom]

OK...which one of you here is posing as Lancelot?
@graciemckitten - that you?

Whoever it is, it's brilliant! One suggestion, if I may......have Lancelot following the RSPCA in the UK and the SPA in France!

 

[Fennelbug]

There I fixed it!
4:00 pm. - dry Bundt cake for tea (what is it????)
9:00 p.m. - appetizer - salad for everyone and no almonds for Snorty
10:00 p.m. - main course - Chicken al a Coconut Corn Flakes & parsnip mush
11:00 p.m. - dessert - macaroons for everyone & sorbet for Snorty

Snorts is allergic to ricotta, nuts, chicken and ice cream. Also canned condensed milk in Fanny’s desserts! What did the poor fellow eat? Poor, gross, lying Snorts.

 

[Just Grift Wood]

The fabric is coming off by itself…why does every mirror and picture snorts arranges just sit in the radiator or mantle. So dangerous.
We did not see any curtains in Bon mamas room so no one was sleeping in there either.
How many bedrooms were actually used and why in earth was it even necessary to move the Bauer bed? Vlog content required?
The dress up dinners and dancing are a thing if the last. Now a few dregs in jeans. Who would bother to travel to see Snorts flitting about and being filmed by Fanny.
The tension between Snort’s and Fanny is escalating.

Amoury lost the white in his eyes with this roll.

Philip is one of the most unfortunate looking people I have ever seen. He is a cross between a sweaty pig and a rat. Nasty beady eyes, receding chin, flared hairy nostrils, receding pubic hair line, flat head, liver lips and he looks like he has mange.

 

[TorontoGWM]

Poor thing. She cleans and yet the room still looks like hell. Why wasn’t this fixed when B&B season was over????? As a guest I would never be able to overlook the walls. Would drive me crazy. I would ask to be moved to another room.

 

[KiKiGee]

Sadly, all of them including the gay men - Stewie, Patsy and The Gay Fiancé (& maybe Simon & Shrek at times) have no fashion sense whatsoever. Ironically, the lesbians were the best dressed there.

journey_to_the_chateau
17 hours ago
Shopping day with chateau friends.

 

[Fennelbug]

View attachment 2822376
Noors Official
1 hour ago
Steph would you like to help a desperate student??

She already is…

 

[Just Grift Wood]

Poor thing. She cleans and yet the room still looks like hell. Why wasn’t this fixed when B&B season was over????? As a guest I would never be able to overlook the walls. Would drive me crazy. I would ask to be moved to another room.

View attachment 2822464

I agree the walls are shocking and the bed head looks revolting against them it doesn't go just an insipid dirty horror show. The bedhead is also too big for the divan. The guests will need to be a contortionist to turn the lights off. It insults people's intelligence to charge for this. Then the Oiseau room still has missing wallpaper. It is seedy and grubby. I can't tell you how much I hate the bed head and the fabric on it. It is Liberace meets Barbear Cartland. I hate the picture behind the bed too.

 

[TorontoGWM]

It was a weekend to give away junk yet in true shopaholic style, the chatelaine and her gay fiancé went shopping for yet more junk.

 

[graciemckitten]

Tattle reader Stephanie thanks everyone for “ coming so far to the middle of nowhere “for dinner.


Watch 10 seconds to see Amaury snark about the many, many,many, many projects we have started……….


Watch 15 seconds l Marie complain Ratso is the love of her life and her only companion in life and Stephanie mocks her.


Watch Fanny half ass make her cake. She is “ making it up as she goes along. “ Story of her life,


Watch the holiday from hygiene Dump crew pick pieces off the the newly baked Bundt cake with their unwashed hands. Yummmm!
https://youtu.be/gv5DgJXDn7w?si=1zT6riQR6XH_Eu2W&t=503

Miss Chatelaine Snorts is exhausted after a couple hours of work. Unhappy he has to get pigs to put in the fire. Fanny does duck all, as usual, compared to everyone else at the Dump.
https://youtu.be/gv5DgJXDn7w?si=HkXV4AHbiLJU41Vo&t=889

Ratso still has the cloudy area on his weepy left eye. ( the same area as Jeeves highlighted in previous post).

 

[Patriciarella]

The fabric is coming off by itself…why does every mirror and picture snorts arranges just sit in the radiator or mantle. So dangerous.
We did not see any curtains in Bon mamas room so no one was sleeping in there either.
How many bedrooms were actually used and why in earth was it even necessary to move the Bauer bed? Vlog content required?
The dress up dinners and dancing are a thing if the last. Now a few dregs in jeans. Who would bother to travel to see Snorts flitting about and being filmed by Fanny.
The tension between Snort’s and Fanny is escalating.

Amoury lost the white in his eyes with this roll.

I love that you mentioning the leaning picture. Snorty is too lazy to learn how to hang things or too dumb to understand that a huge mirror needs fastened correctly. The other day he refused to get a ladder when removing a small picture probably on a small nail. Then he hung a huge, glass picture with much weight on the same teeny tiny nail over a doorway. When the door shuts that thing will fall & glass will shatter on someone’s head. Another death more orange tape it’s so LaLande. Did you also notice Lancelot made a puddle right inside the door where Annmarie was helping with the dead man’s bed. Poor Mary Poppins she deserves better!