The Chateau Diaries #294 Stephanie Jarvis looks like her farmhouse - a patched-up crumbling facade.

[TorontoGWM]

As per usual, Stewie is silent as Patsy has a case of verbal diarrhea.

 

[Just Grift Wood]

MarIE's food looks 1,000 times better than MarIA's. Fanny well done for actually putting a bit of effort into hosting-Tattle is happy to help.Also Fanny no one on Tattle thinks MarIE is lazy it is you and Philip who would loll on the day bed. Fanny will not be happy with the budget though, MarIE is cooking a whole chicken breast per person imagine the decadence.

Amauary is even making snide remarks about jobs being started and never finished.

Funny to own a Chateau and have to have grown men crammed onto tiny sofas in the takeaway reception because the rest of the tit show is a bomb site.

Well poor old Fanny could only attract the bottom feeders of Chateau Vloggers.Really scraping the barrel. No Fleaurie's no George from Chateau de Brive (but he is discerning about antiques) no Rebecca and Tim. Most glaring is none of the Petherick's what with Michael being her best friend LOL These are not her friends she is utterly the bottom of the heap.

Fanny Bonne Maman does need redecorating it is awful with fabric or paper billowing off the walls. I loathe the new bed and the fabric it looks very 80's and Fanny make the bloody curtain alterations you lazy tit.

Snort's been buying rugs at auction (not for his head unfortunately) but for Bonne Maman which actually just adds to the 80's look. They want to look Chateau/Country House evolved look but it just looks like a bad time warp. Of and Snorts stop shaving your side burns it gives you a very Piggy look.

Oh and Fanny everyone knows you don't have cake at 4pm because your usually still in bed.

Stephanie and Philip aspire to a Versaille aesthetic but actually what they are creating is an un-curated bargain basement homage to Liberace

 

[Lochness Monster]

I didn’t like Maria. I didn’t think she was funny. She always seemed to be sarcastic. Her food was weird. Marie has been pleasant, a bit more fun, and she is really trying with her food. Much more chemistry with Fanny than Maria.

Maria did not like Snorts. Bonus.
Marie so far is NOT using any of those heavily patterned plates that do not help any food look appetising..
Snorts looked flustered he had forgotten water and red wine for the table. Fanny filming in the kitchen- how does conversations flow with her dashing around . It was plain she had not made time to sit with her guests in the new petit salon where everyone was perching awkwardly in a room that doesn't work.
The food was ok. The chicken portions were huge compared to any protein we have ever seen MariA use. Frk continues to make demands on kitchen equipment. Snorts is badly serving 8 faux friends. How will he manage 16 guests? He will not be sitting at the table Lording it over others or will some volunteer be dragged in to be waiter?

 

[Gertrude Maud]

Snort's been buying rugs at auction (not for his head unfortunately) but for Bonne Maman which actually just adds to the 80's look.

That rug looked like a Chinese cheapie.

 

[Just Grift Wood]

That rug looked like a Chinese cheapie.

Dunelm special they used to selll them a few years ago.
---

Maria did not like Snorts. Bonus.
Marie so far is NOT using any of those heavily patterned plates that do not help any food look appetising..
Snorts looked flustered he had forgotten water and red wine for the table. Fanny filming in the kitchen- how does conversations flow with her dashing around . It was plain she had not made time to sit with her guests in the new petit salon where everyone was perching awkwardly in a room that doesn't work.
The food was ok. The chicken portions were huge compared to any protein we have ever seen MariA use. Frk continues to make demands on kitchen equipment. Snorts is badly serving 8 faux friends. How will he manage 16 guests? He will not be sitting at the table Lording it over others or will some volunteer be dragged in to be waiter?

Still find it a bit strange that crispy chicken is served with a sauce. The cornflake recipe is a Nigella Lawson one she made for her kids, very French not.

 

[Gertrude Maud]

Dunelm special they used to selll them a few years ago.
---

Still find it a bit strange that crispy chicken is served with a sauce. The cornflake recipe is a Nigella Lawson one she made for her kids, very French not.

I'm not familiar with Dunelm. Is that a UK brand?

 

[MRShavershamsdress]

Old crazed dishes stink. They literally stink. Old dishwater permeates the interior thru the cracks and the smell never goes away. It is unsafe and unhygienic to eat off of plates that are literally unglazed, as the glaze is broken and allowing water and bacteria to become trapped inside. Handwashing is even worse because a dishwasher will at least sanitize them to some degree with heat. But I would never eat from such a plate.

Putting old dishware in a dishwasher will actively contribute to crazing or shivering. Both occur when the thermal expansion between the clay body and glaze is too different. Given that the pheasant ware of which PhiPhi is so proud is stoneware the difference will be exponentially greater. Porcelain will suffer from this defect but is much more rare. Consequently with each use the likelihood of lead leaching out of the glaze is high. Shivering is an even more insidious effect. The same thermal expansion difference causes it, but shivering is when minuscule flakes of glaze break off the edge during use. Glaze is essentially liquid glass heat bonded to the clay body. Does anyone here know what happens when you ingest sharp edged pieces of glass? It isn’t pretty. That’s the reason why it’s never recommended to use old worn out stoneware for eating. It’s fine to use decoratively but it can be fatal to use for dining.

 

[Kalessi]

I took a look at that table again. You're right, it's not great. I think the tablecloth is more of a casual thing, like a French country look. They have so much to choose from in terms of dinnerware - I think that that white cabbageware they have would have looked so much better. Maybe they don't have enough of it for the amount of people they were serving? It might have been tied together better, too, if their florist extraordinaire, Marie, would have used some bright yellow and blue in the flowers. She used colors that look awfully "autumnal", as Philip would say.

The whole thing was pretty underwhelming for people who have more than most in terms of choices.

He always reminds me of a little girl playing dress up and having tea with her dollies. There really isn’t any designing to it. His life is all pretend.

 

[NotAChatelaine]

Well done, MariE.

One big dinner party (what she served ticked all my boxes for a dinner party, rather than supper) does not a summer make, but it all looked good. She didn’t go overboard and she exercised restraint. She looked as if she was enjoying herself and that translated to what appeared on the plates.

Warm plates for the main course!!!!!! Huzzahs! Praise to St. Joseph and the other saints in the chapel.

If I was going to be uber nit picky, yes, the cornflake coating for the chicken breast was a bit too fine. However, the joy of seeing decent food at the crumbling heap far outweighs such a minor grizzle!

(Multiple near tantrums from the prancing twerp never fails to delight: I await the full Vesuvius eruption.)

 

[Lochness Monster]

When did they need this sign?
Yes Snorts ruins everything.
He does not measure AnYthiNg.
The headboard doesn’t fit, the valance is too long etc etc.
Designer, not at all. He cannot arrange design or plan. His face aargh

 

[Pyke]

I'm not familiar with Dunelm. Is that a UK brand?

You have not missed much. Big box stores everywhere, usually an untidy mess with scruffy looking staff. Homewares, curtains, blinds, bedding, rugs, heaters, lighting. If you need a length of fabric wait an eternity for staff member to shuffle along to huff and puff. Cafe on site Pausa, don't bother.

 

[Kalessi]

It would make me sick to always do everything at the last minute. There was time to move the furniture around and redecorate for months. But as always, they wait until the guests are at the door. And considering Phiphi had supposedly been planning this event for months, they were pretty stressed the day the guests arrived. At the beginning of Advent she said that when they decorate each room for Christmas, they would clear it out at the same time. Was this months of planning?

Will this year's Easter extravaganza be an exclusive event? Is that why she has already invited her cheap vlogger friends to the trash party so that she can then organize a private Easter egg hunt for her fiancé with Pottie, John, Flowergayguy?

How disgusting to sit down at the table with guests in your work clothes, without a shower, without getting ready.

The portions that Marie serves are truly generous. Let's see whether the 75 euro menus for B&B guests are similar. I do not think so. There will be initial discussions about the budget... I can already see the first storm clouds gathering.

I'm looking forward to seeing what "treasures" the antiques and rarities fans can pick up cheaply. LOL

Do you think it’s possible that the real reason all these “friends “ are at the farmhouse is to film an early Easter with Fanny and snorts? The junk sale is just a side hustle.

 

[Just Grift Wood]

When did they need this sign?
Yes Snorts ruins everything.
He does not measure AnYthiNg.
The headboard doesn’t fit, the valance is too long etc etc.
Designer, not at all. He cannot arrange design or plan. His face aargh

The bedroom suite and the fabric is just not right in the Chateau at all is it. No designer worth their salt would put a bed in a room that makes the bedside lights redundant or hard to use. The jumped up little prick wants to take the wheels off the bed (that is because he never cleans) that bedroom is a mess. It needs a complete overhaul. I loathe the bed and all matchy, matchy curtains, valance, tablecloth bedspread I don't like anything about it. The bedhead all ornate and over the top and doesn't fit, they are such muppets. The wall covering needs redoing. How can anyone pay to stay in that place is beyond me.

 

[JackSpratt]

Maria did not like Snorts. Bonus.
Marie so far is NOT using any of those heavily patterned plates that do not help any food look appetising..
Snorts looked flustered he had forgotten water and red wine for the table. Fanny filming in the kitchen- how does conversations flow with her dashing around . It was plain she had not made time to sit with her guests in the new petit salon where everyone was perching awkwardly in a room that doesn't work.
The food was ok. The chicken portions were huge compared to any protein we have ever seen MariA use. Frk continues to make demands on kitchen equipment. Snorts is badly serving 8 faux friends. How will he manage 16 guests? He will not be sitting at the table Lording it over others or will some volunteer be dragged in to be waiter?

What a total borefest it must have been.

That food will be halved for the B&B deason and that's when things will go south IMO.

What I would like to see is, as hosts, Hinge & Bracket actually serve the guests rather than make the poor suckers sit around waiting for those two to grace them wth their presence. After all that is what B&B owners normally do and as they like to point out, they're not a hotel or restaurant.

I think any volunteers get enough tit thrown their way to deal with and should not have to be involved in the rabid fan's dinners. That's what the crazies are paying for 'The Stephanie Experience'.

 

[Nettle flower]

You have not missed much. Big box stores everywhere, usually an untidy mess with scruffy looking staff. Homewares, curtains, blinds, bedding, rugs, heaters, lighting. If you need a length of fabric wait an eternity for staff member to shuffle along to huff and puff. Cafe on site Pausa, don't bother.

On the occasions I've been dragged into a store like that I've always felt faint and panicky and had to leave, I'm not elitist, I think it's the depressing domesticity of it all.

 

[Pekey]

How can anyone pay to stay in that place is beyond me.

Its beyond me too !
Its in the middle of nowhere and must be so boring if you do not have a car.
I bet that farmhouse has pee and poo from Ratso all over the place .

 

[Lady Lindy]

Well done, MariE.

One big dinner party (what she served ticked all my boxes for a dinner party, rather than supper) does not a summer make, but it all looked good. She didn’t go overboard and she exercised restraint. She looked as if she was enjoying herself and that translated to what appeared on the plates.

Warm plates for the main course!!!!!! Huzzahs! Praise to St. Joseph and the other saints in the chapel.

If I was going to be uber nit picky, yes, the cornflake coating for the chicken breast was a bit too fine. However, the joy of seeing decent food at the crumbling heap far outweighs such a minor grizzle!

(Multiple near tantrums from the prancing twerp never fails to delight: I await the full Vesuvius eruption.)

They had the starter at 9pm and the main course at 11pm. I hope they put ant-acids in the bedrooms

 

[Imperious Me]

Neither Fanny or Snorty could bother to change the clothes they'd been wearing all day for dinner with their guests. Hope Snorty put out scented candles to mask the ripe perfume wafting over the dinner table.

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Nothing says 'I don't give a fk whether you're here or not' like making up beds, moving furniture and busying yourself AFTER your guests have arrived...

 

[Just Grift Wood]

r-hh6fp1gi1x
1 hour ago
This is what I love about Stephanie, her kind, warm heart creates a welcoming atmosphere.The people that work and live there feel appreciated and cared for. Not to mention how talented they all are. Look at our lovely Marie she has returned ( so glad) she is confident, accomplished ,happy and loved . Stephanie your father would be so proud of what you have created . Let’s not forget the joy that little Lancelot has brought to everyone at LaLande.
@terrylichtenberg7618
10 hours ago
Philip you are doing a fantastic job in decorating the bedrooms they look beautiful

️, I think Stephanie should let you do all the decorating from now on, because you are really good at, you have a great eye for it

@annaibarra3447
10 hours ago
He’s such an asset to LaLande, such a grand help to Stephanie.

@rayn8740
10 hours ago
I think Stephanie rather enjoys decorating too. Together, they really do create art. The dining room looked so lovely too. Philip really does triumph in laying a table. He sees to every detail. What a team.

@iu.5146
10 hours ago
The walls in the bedroom need fixing. Is the wallpaper coming off or is it fabric lining? What’s the point of putting in all the pretty decore when the bones of the room need fixing? I also noticed in the last video that the wood of the chairs looks dry and full. It could use a treatment of Gilboys wax. Maintenance is key!

 

[TorontoGWM]