The Chateau Diaries #269 At last Stephanie spoke the truth and admitted it herself to be an imposter.

[Hedda Hopper]

Congratulations @JackSpratt and @TorontoGWM for naming the thread and @CocktailGirl for nominating them - I tried to fuse them together

Most Liked Post from the previous thread




Marquis de Potpourri
VIP Member
Monday at 8:20 AM

• #621

I do. Three cousins.

Yesterday, while observing Shabbat and the holiday of Shemini Atzeret, my family was oblivious to what was happening in Israel.
The only person who knew about the attacks was my wife who did not know how to tell anyone of us.
She knew how close Israel was to our hearts as a family. We have homes in Jerusalem and in Tel Aviv.
As soon as Shabbat ended, we were all shocked by the news and started contacting family and friends.
None of them picked up their phones which added greatly to our crippling worry and helplessness. It was grueling.

One cousin finally made contact about five hours ago--which was the middle of the early morning hours there.
She and her husband live in a beachfront community on the outskirts of Ashdod where they are very close to the fighting.
She told me that they'd been told to stay indoors and close down their window steel barriers! They are safe, but very much afraid.

The other cousin who lives in Tel Aviv called her dad (my uncle) about two hours ago and told him that they saw a couple of Hamas rockets hit an apartment building and level a business to the ground just five blocks down from their apartment building. They all want to leave, but none of them can fly out of the country. All flights have been canceled. I was supposed to go two weeks from now.
My cousin's best friend's neighbor, a beautiful 22-year-old woman had been taken captive by terrorists from her home in Sderot.
Her family fears the worst has already happened.

The third, a second cousin who is an IDF reservist and a medical doctor in Jerusalem has been called to report for duty.

Everything feels so surreal. So many innocent lives are ruined and wasted on both sides.

Prayers and positive thoughts are appreciated.

Last edited: Monday at 8:34 AM

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thatsrich
Well-known member
Oct 5, 2023

• #128

This is the root of all the lies. It’s the big lie. The old part of the property had defenses..this is the only thing significant, if that, that was left after the fire.

it‘s a country home ….no ballroom, small, pokey rooms no painted ceilings, no high ceilings, no ornate details, no expensive floors or tiling. No valuable furnishings.

A country home with a stable and walled garden. A working rural home where they provided a mill and bread oven for the community, lake for fishing, and kept some animals, had a coppice for wood and that’s about it. This was not a place for high society parties, balls or fancy furnishings. Not to say that a country home is bad…but it was never and never will be versailles. the previous owners owned a lot of land and thus made money from that business. There are servants quarters because people didn't have modern appliances….a house like that would have required help to run. The chapel was for the family and isn't that old.

now, its only being run into the ground.

Fanny has illusions of grandeur where there were none. Her holiday home isn‘t listed, has no historical value, it’s not a royal trust property…and there is no restoration….only maintenance, repairs, updating to modern standards (plumbing, electrics, internet, heating, bathrooms and sewage, fire prevention) and upgrades to make it suitable for her bnb business. Everything else is just decorating.

the chapel might count if you thought the paintings and stained glass windows were historically significant, but they aren‘t.
---
Fanny has been successful because she has marketed and sold a version of herself and her life that is pure fantasy, when its all a pack of lies….thats why we’re on thread 268.

i bought a chateau when i was 29 - lie
I’m restoring it to its former glory - lie
i enjoy living with my friends and volunteers - lie
i live here - lie
i cant afford to live here without your help - lie
im poor - lie
i’m an opera singer - lie
i love living here - lie
i’ve got a cold (insert any ailment here) - lie
I like your sweater - lie
I like animals - lie
i care about my fans - lie
i work hard - lie
life, love, laughter- lie

people latch on to imagined lives of influencers and fanny has found an audience of people who love the idea that they, too, can experience life of a woman living in France in a large home, surrounded by people, imagined laughter, and nice things….when they may be alone, sad or depressed, or genuinely interested in seeing a big french property get renovated and little, charming projects, diy crafts, and cooking, gardening etc. I know i watched because i love the idea of a walled garden and loved those fun videos of Fanny and Michael Peth being silly, cleaning flappy bird and making bath bombs.

Fanny makes you feel like you’re one of her friends……but friends dont pay for each other's travels, staff and upkeep.

Last edited: Oct 5, 2023

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Marquis de Potpourri
VIP Member
Oct 5, 2023

• #201

Let's do a quick survey about the "HOT FLOWER GUY."

Is the flower guy really hot?

- YES, WITHOUT QUESTION
- NO, SJ HAS LOW STANDARDS FOR WHAT'S HOT (HAVE YOU SEEN HER EXES AND HER CURRENT?)
- MORE LIKE LUKEWARM (GOAT CHEESE GUY IS SLIGHTLY WARMER)

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M&MsMom
VIP Member
Oct 4, 2023

• #46

Yesterday's vlog reinforced a few things for me:

1) This wouldn't get within 10 feet of me. EVER.

2) His hands are creepy little mitts (see above). Would someone please send him some nail clippers so he can open them in Cadeaux?

3) Sure, Stephanie. When I go to a spa for a service, I don't give a crap about the surroundings, so yeah, I'd LOVE a massage in your construction zone. Next up.......facials in the bat cave! Sign me up!

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Marquis de Potpourri
VIP Member
Oct 4, 2023

• #8

My takeaways from tonight's CD vlog:

A picture of SJ smooching a gorilla (or is that a chimpanzee?).

and...

Phiphi running out of shoe polish to rub on his scalp, hence the beanie in 35-degree weather!

---

Christmas is coming.
MPK needs money.
Artwork for sale.

Last edited: Oct 4, 2023

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tuffiti
Active member
Monday at 11:32 AM

• #631

A bit late as have only just got round to it, the patreon video:


Stephanie Jarvis is a con artist. The Chateau Diaries is a scam.

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As always we have a wiki - ought to be updated
Happy Tattling.

Thanks Comtesse Rose for always being on the job! Great title and thanks to all those that suggested it.

 

[billybudd]

In the spirit of inspiration to face the day's march, may I present the really wonderful *Little Richard, I Am Everything* documentary? You can rent it on Ama for 99 cents. Philip Janssen wishes he was 1/25,000th the man Little Richard was.

 

[Lady Avonlea]

I have to admit, I generally find Amaury one of the more likable actors among all these wannabes. Above all the way he treats Molly makes him a likeable person in my opinion and fundamentally sets him apart from his cousin.

As far as he is concerned, I have a few thoughts: I think he came to Lalande with good intentions and very motivated. I also think that he is more of a sensitive type, if not that a mental problem in the past led him to choose Lalande. Everyone has to do what is best for their mental health and at the time that seemed to be the case for him and his parents.

I don't think the slow progress and sometimes stagnation of the various projects corresponds to his work ethic. Originally... but he has adapted to the usual sloppiness there. It's like when you start at a new company fully motivated and at some point you realize that the idiots who don't get anywhere all day and only take coffee breaks get paid the same. It's frustrating, demotivating. I suspect it was similar with Amaury. He can work himself to death or work unmotivated - the payment remains the same - so why do more than necessary, especially since he is a family and his job is secure for him.

Basically, I think he's someone who likes to start something and get it done quickly. But I think that his original work ethic clashes with several aspects here. Namely the fact that Steph is unable to think through and plan a project before it starts. Actually, all materials and preparations should be in place at the start of the project. But she is unable / unwilling to do that. Once projects have started, they come to a halt because of a lack of material and because of a lack of decisions. So Amaury gets in line and starts the next project and the next and the next. And in the end, no project is nearly finished. Everything takes forever because nothing is planned from A to Z in advance.

And then we have the self-proclaimed interior designer Squirrel. He is also unable to plan ahead. Every normal person who renovates a bathroom chooses the colors, wallpaper, curtains, lamps, etc. in advance, takes care of everything and then it's done quickly. But if I only choose the wallpaper after I've finished painting it and then have to wait until the wallpaper is delivered and then a few trips come in between such a mini-project takes longer than others need to build a whole house.

And what's obvious is that Steph has no desire to renovate. It's all just a burden to her. But pretending to renovate will give her the money she needs for her lifestyle. And I think that's exactly what Amaury has realized and so he and Natty have decided to live a relaxed life as long as they are on the payroll.

Hence the move out of Lalande and their own home in order to no longer be constantly available and to take more care of himself rather than let himself be destroyed by his cousin's greed for money. And that's why Amaury doesn't work with Dan, because he saw the exact same greed in his eyes.

Fanny’s disjointed, start-stop, half-finished approach is because she:
- has the attention span on a fly
- gets confused by numbers that require basic math and sums
- has no organizational or project management skills
- dithers rather than decides (part of her ditzy, dumb blonde, poor little me persona she has relied on to attract men)
- is fundamentally lazy and adulting is hard work
- knows she’s a fraud and imposter
- is selfish and resents spending money on anything or anyone other than herself
- prefers fantasy to reality and will always be Daddy’s pampered little princess (because Derek also lived in some warped little fantasy world)

 

[Kalessi]

Apologies, but I just saw the security video of a kibbutz attack and the murder of every resident. I’m stunned and sitting here weeping. My next door neighbor is also here, shaking in the middle of a panic attack. She is Jewish, though not particularly orthodox. Her baby sister, brother-in-law and both nieces are now dead. She didn’t even realize they were there. Her nephew had stayed home as his wife is pregnant and near term. I’ve never heard a scream like that before. She was outside walking her dog when she got the call. Our nearest neighbors have come, helping her to grieve. I want to do something but I’m at a loss as to what. Because of my work I’ve been involved in planning and logistics for the relief efforts as well as activating our ready reserve assets but feel there must be something more I can do. How is it possible for a civilization to hate so much?

No apologies needed. I’m teetering between anger and sadness over this latest showing of the world’s ability for horrific and devastating violence against innocent human beings. Your neighbor’s loss is so heartbreaking and beyond painful even to hear about. Thank you for the reminder to do all we can to support the relief efforts. Quoting a lyric from John Mayer’s song “Waiting on the world to change”,

‘So we keep waiting
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

It's hard to beat the system
When we're standing at a distance
So we keep waiting on (waiting)
Waiting on the world to change’.

I sometimes loose hope when violence seems to be taking over. But, I keep waiting. What else is there to do?

 

[Hedda Hopper]

There has been a bit of discussion here about Amaury's lack of finishing anything and working sooooo slooooowly. I think this may be due in part to his poor work habits just like his cuz. I know Fanny likes to jerk him around, but he doesn't stand up to her. Has he ever worked for anyone? Has he ever had a job review? Pressure to finish what he starts? A timeline? Competition? Or has mom and dad always babied him? His skills are high, but honestly, I don't see him working for anyone. I can imagine him walking off the job if he was under any kind of pressure because he knows mom and dad are right there. Like, Phi, Natti, MariE, and MariA they have no plan B, they have very weak resumes and lack ambition. None of them have a college degree that I know of. Life doesn't always work out the way you had planned, it rarely does. What would any of them do if the whole CD thing collapses? Amaury would live off of his parents along with Natti. Even that is a bad plan as one's personal financial situation can take a turn for the worse for so many reasons. Amaury is the least risk taker of them all. I find him weak in character.

 

[billybudd]

I have to admit, I generally find Amaury one of the more likable actors among all these wannabes. Above all the way he treats Molly makes him a likeable person in my opinion and fundamentally sets him apart from his cousin.

As far as he is concerned, I have a few thoughts: I think he came to Lalande with good intentions and very motivated. I also think that he is more of a sensitive type, if not that a mental problem in the past led him to choose Lalande. Everyone has to do what is best for their mental health and at the time that seemed to be the case for him and his parents.

I don't think the slow progress and sometimes stagnation of the various projects corresponds to his work ethic. Originally... but he has adapted to the usual sloppiness there. It's like when you start at a new company fully motivated and at some point you realize that the idiots who don't get anywhere all day and only take coffee breaks get paid the same. It's frustrating, demotivating. I suspect it was similar with Amaury. He can work himself to death or work unmotivated - the payment remains the same - so why do more than necessary, especially since he is a family and his job is secure for him.

Basically, I think he's someone who likes to start something and get it done quickly. But I think that his original work ethic clashes with several aspects here. Namely the fact that Steph is unable to think through and plan a project before it starts. Actually, all materials and preparations should be in place at the start of the project. But she is unable / unwilling to do that. Once projects have started, they come to a halt because of a lack of material and because of a lack of decisions. So Amaury gets in line and starts the next project and the next and the next. And in the end, no project is nearly finished. Everything takes forever because nothing is planned from A to Z in advance.

And then we have the self-proclaimed interior designer Squirrel. He is also unable to plan ahead. Every normal person who renovates a bathroom chooses the colors, wallpaper, curtains, lamps, etc. in advance, takes care of everything and then it's done quickly. But if I only choose the wallpaper after I've finished painting it and then have to wait until the wallpaper is delivered and then a few trips come in between such a mini-project takes longer than others need to build a whole house.

And what's obvious is that Steph has no desire to renovate. It's all just a burden to her. But pretending to renovate will give her the money she needs for her lifestyle. And I think that's exactly what Amaury has realized and so he and Natty have decided to live a relaxed life as long as they are on the payroll.

Hence the move out of Lalande and their own home in order to no longer be constantly available and to take more care of himself rather than let himself be destroyed by his cousin's greed for money. And that's why Amaury doesn't work with Dan, because he saw the exact same greed in his eyes.

Kind and insightful, thank you.
Still trying to comprehend Stephanie's total lack of willingness to renovate.
All I can tell you is that it took my narc 30 years to get his PhD. Fear of change? Fear of critique? Nausea when the first effort becomes concrete and it's not the paaaarfect pergola of paradise you had envisioned?
That one's kind of a downer for any creative, your product is never as beautiful or exciting as the one in your head, or the next one you're planning. But the mature writer/sculptor/renovator says let's not make paarfect the enemy of the good. Unless you're producing art, you're just being a gasbag.

 

[Hedda Hopper]

I have decided to only watch Fanny in black and white. That way I don't have to debate the color of her eyes anymore, which I still think are blue.

 

[Lochness Monster]

Paucillin boy.
Just how much did his parents spend on his birthday plates?

Snorts announces that he is busy finishing’ sets’ of paucillin . Fanny has spent years just buying one of each . This is going to amount to thousands being spent, as in his mind he must have 20 of everything. He gets bored laying the table with the same china. Who does he think he is?
Stately homes which the dump certainly is not, have far fewer sets of china.

 

[Iolair]

I have decided to only watch Fanny in black and white. That way I don't have to debate the color of her eyes anymore, which I still think are blue.

Black and white enhances her Norma Desmond qualities.

 

[JackSpratt]

There has been a bit of discussion here about Amaury's lack of finishing anything and working sooooo slooooowly. I think this may be due in part to his poor work habits just like his cuz. I know Fanny likes to jerk him around, but he doesn't stand up to her. Has he ever worked for anyone? Has he ever had a job review? Pressure to finish what he starts? A timeline? Competition? Or has mom and dad always babied him? His skills are high, but honestly, I don't see him working for anyone. I can imagine him walking off the job if he was under any kind of pressure because he knows mom and dad are right there. Like, Phi, Natti, MariE, and MariA they have no plan B, they have very weak resumes and lack ambition. None of them have a college degree that I know of. Life doesn't always work out the way you had planned, it rarely does. What would any of them do if the whole CD thing collapses? Amaury would live off of his parents along with Natti. Even that is a bad plan as one's personal financial situation can take a turn for the worse for so many reasons. Amaury is the least risk taker of them all. I find him weak in character.

I'd be surprised if he's worked for anyone else, worked for his Dad yes. Or maybe self employed doing bespoke jobs but never to a time scale. Would he be able to take the pressure of multiple clients, out quoting for jobs and doing estimates, invoicing and tax returns?

Will he ever snap, questionable.

All of them there just drift along with it with total lack of purpose, much like the owner.

They may be a bit overblown and blousey but at least when Chantal and Stephen are there, they bring a bit of energy to the place (even if it's just the matchy matchy coordinated dressing), otherwise it would slither to a stop.

 

[M&MsMom]

Paucillin boy.
Just how much did his parents spend on his birthday plates?

Snorts announces that he is busy finishing’ sets’ of paucillin . Fanny has spent years just buying one of each . This is going to amount to thousands being spent, as in his mind he must have 20 of everything. He gets bored laying the table with the same china. Who does he think he is?
Stately homes which the dump certainly is not, have far fewer sets of china.

To your point, yes, THOUSANDS.
Here's a current listing on eBay for 18 place settings. Says there are 26 people watching the auction...wonder if he's one of them?
**it's a 'local pickup only auction' out of NYC. Do they have a friend in NYC who could pick it up for them? Bet Coco would do it for them! But, that's an awful risky thing to ship, thousands could be spent on shipping, too.

 

[Thebirdandthefrog]

Apologies, but I just saw the security video of a kibbutz attack and the murder of every resident. I’m stunned and sitting here weeping. My next door neighbor is also here, shaking in the middle of a panic attack. She is Jewish, though not particularly orthodox. Her baby sister, brother-in-law and both nieces are now dead. She didn’t even realize they were there. Her nephew had stayed home as his wife is pregnant and near term. I’ve never heard a scream like that before. She was outside walking her dog when she got the call. Our nearest neighbors have come, helping her to grieve. I want to do something but I’m at a loss as to what. Because of my work I’ve been involved in planning and logistics for the relief efforts as well as activating our ready reserve assets but feel there must be something more I can do. How is it possible for a civilization to hate so much?

It is devastating and it’s one horrible story after another. I couldn’t sleep the other night after accidentally watching some terribly strong images. It is all heartbreaking, absurd and pure evil. From one war to another, like we never learn anything. As a civilization we are a disaster, we have definitely failed, something is very wrong with the human mind.

Please give your neighbor a hug for me, just tell her a friend send a hug and is very sorry for her losses.

 

[Hedda Hopper]

Paucillin boy.
Just how much did his parents spend on his birthday plates?

Snorts announces that he is busy finishing’ sets’ of paucillin . Fanny has spent years just buying one of each . This is going to amount to thousands being spent, as in his mind he must have 20 of everything. He gets bored laying the table with the same china. Who does he think he is?
Stately homes which the dump certainly is not, have far fewer sets of china.

He has no imagination! Zero, zilch, nada, none. He doesn't understand ANY of the elements of good design. He obviously hasn't heard the phrase "Less is more". I love blue, but you need to be careful when using it for table settings as it doesn't always complement food. He should go very minimal and neutral because ALL of MariA's attempts are VERY colorful and ALL of MariE's floral attempts use every color in the rainbow. Tip: get together and decide who is going to provide the rainbow for that meal, the others need to back off! One explosion of color is more than enough but they just can't help themselves. It's very childlike, no editing, no discipline.

 

[billybudd]

Apologies, but I just saw the security video of a kibbutz attack and the murder of every resident. I’m stunned and sitting here weeping. My next door neighbor is also here, shaking in the middle of a panic attack. She is Jewish, though not particularly orthodox. Her baby sister, brother-in-law and both nieces are now dead. She didn’t even realize they were there. Her nephew had stayed home as his wife is pregnant and near term. I’ve never heard a scream like that before. She was outside walking her dog when she got the call. Our nearest neighbors have come, helping her to grieve. I want to do something but I’m at a loss as to what. Because of my work I’ve been involved in planning and logistics for the relief efforts as well as activating our ready reserve assets but feel there must be something more I can do. How is it possible for a civilization to hate so much?

Charity Nav always lists its top 10 charities every year and Direct Relief is frequently their number one. People never forget contributions made in the names of the dead.

Charity Navigator

Charity Navigator is the largest and most-utilized evaluator of charities in the United States providing data on 1.8 million nonprofits and ratings for close to 10,000 charities.

www.charitynavigator.org

It sounds like you're being helpful workwise.
One of my next-door neighbors was killed in 9/11. He left a fiancee, a beautiful young lady, who was surrounded by sharks and disaster whores the minute the families had to go home. Like the landlord hit on her kind of thing. I showed up when the crowd was there with casseroles (she herself didn't eat for like a year, though) and quietly without an agenda at increasing intervals afterwards. I'd ask is there was anything practical she needed help with. I chalked a poem on the local basketball court dedicated to him.
I remember him on social media every year without making a big deal, or using his full name, or mentioning hers. Part of it is he has no grave, even though there's a scholarship fund in his name, and his name is on the Pentagon memorial. She always hears about it and is still grateful. I'd think about chalking "Am Yisrael chai" in the basketball court this time around. I've always thought planting a tree in Israel in peoples' memory was a great, immortal idea.

JNF Plant A Tree

Plant a tree in Israel today. Send a beautiful personalized gift to your family, friends or loved ones. Send a JNF tree certificate and support Israel.

shop.jnf.org

Real grief therapy, where they let you rage and don't retort with non-consoling religious clichés is the model, and also truly helpful. You could drive her there and go with. Also, complicated grief is a psychiatric medical emergency, PTSD in process, professionals may be required. I have a friend who has been mourning 40 years and deeply believes if she stops, her baby really will be dead then.

 

[CocktailGirl]

Congratulations @JackSpratt and @TorontoGWM for naming the thread and @CocktailGirl for nominating them - I tried to fuse them together

I'm struggling to catch up here, sorry, but a belated huge Thank You to @ComtesseRose for your brilliant act of fusion and for using it as the thread title - I am so glad that SJ's imposter confession will be recorded in the Tattle Threads Tablets of Stone - never to be forgotten. Thanks too to everyone that backed my suggestion. Bit embarrassed really, my first successful nomination

Of course, when Fanny is finally found out and has to account for her actions as a fraud, she will probably turn round and say "Well I told you so, back in October 2023, but nobody took me seriously. It's really not my fault." It won't work though. We have the receipts Fanny.

Changing the colour of your eyes won't cut it. It's the colour of your heart that has to change.

 

[Hedda Hopper]

I just couldn't help myself with Fanny's eye color. I say this, because I have blue eyes that don't always look blue in photos. They can look brown. I'll try to control my need to prove my point, but I don't guarantee it.
"Why do my eyes look brown in pictures?
It really just means your eyes are more reflective and sensitive to surrounding colors than some peoples. The color doesn't change, just your surroundings. So it looks like your eyes change colors. It's just the way they reflect light and other things."

 

[M&MsMom]

THIS IS TRUE!!

 

[Lochness Monster]

He has no imagination! Zero, zilch, nada, none. He doesn't understand ANY of the elements of good design. He obviously hasn't heard the phrase "Less is more". I love blue, but you need to be careful when using it for table settings as it doesn't always complement food. He should go very minimal and neutral because ALL of MariA's attempts are VERY colorful and ALL of MariE's floral attempts use every color in the rainbow. Tip: get together and decide who is going to provide the rainbow for that meal, the others need to back off! One explosion of color is more than enough but they just can't help themselves. It's very childlike, no editing, no discipline.

When Snorts returned,ha ha from Emmaus with the canteen jugs Fanny exclaimed they will do until we FIND something better. How hard is it to google Waterford water jug??
Those spirit decanters on the table really offend my senses. Snorts should be a host and serve the drinks from a side table . The wine should be in elegant wine carafe/ lidded jugs and these ARE things of beauty ,correct and again not difficult to find. Sure Emmaus will not likely sell fine Crystal but Snorts can locate plates and stemware elsewhere so why not jugs.
If you read here Fanny , no the guests are not stepping back in time they are walking into a down grade dangerous dump.

 

[Hedda Hopper]

This is more like keeping with a French chateau table setting.

 

[MRShavershamsdress]

Charity Nav always lists its top 10 charities every year and Direct Relief is frequently their number one. People never forget contributions made in the names of the dead.

Charity Navigator

Charity Navigator is the largest and most-utilized evaluator of charities in the United States providing data on 1.8 million nonprofits and ratings for close to 10,000 charities.

www.charitynavigator.org

It sounds like you're being helpful workwise.
One of my next-door neighbors was killed in 9/11. He left a fiancee, a beautiful young lady, who was surrounded by sharks and disaster whores the minute the families had to go home. Like the landlord hit on her kind of thing. I showed up when the crowd was there with casseroles (she herself didn't eat for like a year, though) and quietly without an agenda at increasing intervals afterwards. I'd ask is there was anything practical she needed help with. I chalked a poem on the local basketball court dedicated to him.
I remember him on social media every year without making a big deal, or using his full name, or mentioning hers. Part of it is he has no grave, even though there's a scholarship fund in his name, and his name is on the Pentagon memorial. She always hears about it and is still grateful. I'd think about chalking "Am Yisrael chai" in the basketball court this time around. I've always thought planting a tree in Israel in peoples' memory was a great, immortal idea.

JNF Plant A Tree

Plant a tree in Israel today. Send a beautiful personalized gift to your family, friends or loved ones. Send a JNF tree certificate and support Israel.

shop.jnf.org

Real grief therapy, where they let you rage and don't retort with non-consoling religious clichés is the model, and also truly helpful. You could drive her there and go with. Also, complicated grief is a psychiatric medical emergency, PTSD in process, professionals may be required. I have a friend who has been mourning 40 years and deeply believes if she stops, her baby really will be dead then.

I went next door and got her dog for her. It was a bit like watching an overwound toy run down. We let her release as much anger, frustration and pain as she could. About a dozen of us went out to the back garden and raged at the sky with her until we were empty. I’m sure there’s more inside, but it’s not ready to be expelled. I’m terribly worried for the teenaged daughter of one of our local rabbis. She was there visiting. As of yesterday she was safe but she’s refusing to return home, preferring to stay and fight beside her people. I can’t blame her. Giving up means letting the monsters win.