The Chateau Diaries #231 Liar land the land of Liars

[Lady Avonlea]

Wow - that was an assault on the senses....

The good....

• lovely to see so many children & dogs on the Easter Egg Hung without Fanny stealing all the eggs for herself
• Kirsty giving a little lesson on hens & hatching eggs (Snorty didn't even know the name of the chickens with snouts)
• Sunday buffet table - looked okay - nothing spectacular but will give it a passing grade
• Sunday buffet food - Kim Raad (thanks to no help from Fanny) did an admirable job - must be so tough cooking in that excuse for a kitchen
• Maria's voice over - very funny taking the piss out of Fanny's affected posh voice whilst describing the bluebells
• Relatively little Snorty throughout the vlog
• The big surprise is Fanny's neither pregnant nor engaged (it's an Easter Miracle)

 

[M&MsMom]

And what the hell is that? A 180* zipper?

View attachment 2089512

......your tabs, though!

 

[KyBourbon]

Selmar has put his blog up again and this person who has obviously stayed at the tit show had left comments

I went out to YouTube but I don’t see the “Selmargate” vlog on his channel…am I looking in the right place?

 

[HalcyonOrganic]

......your tabs, though!

I an looking for a lap dog.. I mean laptop
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Wow - that was an assault on the senses....

The good....

• lovely to see so many children & dogs on the Easter Egg Hung without Fanny stealing all the eggs for herself
• Kirsty giving a little lesson on hens & hatching eggs (Snorty didn't even know the name of the chickens with snouts)
• Sunday buffet table - looked okay - nothing spectacular but will give it a passing grade
• Sunday buffet food - Kim Raad (thanks to no help from Fanny) did an admirable job - must be so tough cooking in that excuse for a kitchen
• Maria's voice over - very funny taking the piss out of Fanny's affected posh voice whilst describing the bluebells
• Relatively little Snorty throughout the vlog
• The big surprise is Fanny's neither pregnant nor engaged (it's an Easter Miracle)

Potts looks like he was once a member of the Boyscouts…


Who dis?

 

[M&MsMom]

I went out to YouTube but I don’t see the “Selmargate” vlog on his channel…am I looking in the right place?

I only saw it on Facebook. I don't follow him on Facebook and could see it, so you should be able to, as well........it's just a post that takes you to emalm and it appears to be the ORIGINAL post he made about it, not this latest one.

selmar.duin

 

[Lady Avonlea]

The bad.....

• Fanny was looking every bit her age (and more)....
  • Fanny's crazy pink outfit on Saturday night
• Fanny decorating the greenhouse with pictures (instead of preparing for the party)
• Saturday night finger food buffet - looked like a bad Barbara Cartland 1970's theme party
  • the food looked awful, especially that cheese hedgehog
  • the charcuterie boards were desperate (did Stuart pass her Cordon Blue training?)
  • couldn't decide what was worse - the bangers & mash or orange mouse in teacups
  • Fanny rolling the left over risotto in green sludge to deep fry
  • Fanny can't cook without drink nearby (or in hand)
• All the last minute, anxiety-inducing preparation
  • selecting recipes & ingredients and major grocery shopping on the day of the party (The 4 days Fanny allegedly spent sick in bed is when she should have searched the internet for recipes and made a grocery list)
  • only starting to cook 4 hours before party
  • half-assed job painting a ceiling just before guests arrived (how much do you dislike the Shreks that you put them in a half-finished room that smells of fresh paint)
  • waiting until Sunday morning to try and turn the fountain on
• WTF was Jared doing in the woods?
• Stuart definitely not looking a perky as she used to be (any coincidence Jared & Stuart are from the same home town?)

 

[M&MsMom]

School report on the flower displays “could do better

True.....I thought that the dried grass cheapened them. Dried grass isn't something I think of using for Spring. Autumn, yes. But not Spring.

 

[HalcyonOrganic]

The bad.....

• Fanny was looking every bit her age (and more)....
  • Fanny's crazy pink outfit on Saturday night
• Fanny decorating the greenhouse with pictures (instead of preparing for the party)
• Saturday night finger food buffet - looked like a bad Barbara Cartland 1970's theme party
  • the food looked awful, especially that cheese hedgehog
  • the charcuterie boards were desperate (did Stuart pass her Cordon Blue training?)
  • couldn't decide what was worse - the bangers & mash or orange mouse in teacups
  • Fanny rolling the left over risotto in green sludge to deep fry
  • Fanny can't cook without drink nearby (or in hand)
• All the last minute, anxiety-inducing preparation
  • selecting recipes & ingredients and major grocery shopping on the day of the party (The 4 days Fanny allegedly spent sick in bed is when she should have searched the internet for recipes and made a grocery list)
  • only starting to cook 4 hours before party
  • half-assed job painting a ceiling just before guests arrived (how much do you dislike the Shreks that you put them in a half-finished room that smells of fresh paint)
  • waiting until Sunday morning to try and turn the fountain on
• WTF was Jared doing in the woods?
• Stuart definitely not looking a perky as she used to be (any coincidence Jared & Stuart are from the same home town?)

Who of the tattlers was the one who said that the food looks great?

You are absolutely right. Spot on.





Speaking of absolutely right. Seems someone on tattle was busy with working for the party at lalande, they have only posted once since Wednesday.

 

[Lady Avonlea]

The ugly.....

• The size and the amount of the chocolate on the Easter Egg hunt is gross
• Fortnum & Mason goodies
  • of course Fanny got chocolates & cookies in London, but passed them off as a gift from Andrew (BS)
  • Fanny hogging the Fortnum & Mason chocolates for herself (instead of putting them out for all to enjoy)
• Fanny showing us Snorty's man cave with bed, and trying to pretend he doesn't sleep there every night
• Poor Simone - that lovely woman (much prettier than Fanny) hasn't stopped slaving in the kitchen since she got there - Grant you owe your wife a real vacation and a damn, good piece of jewelry as an apology for dragging her & your children to the HMN
• Fanny receiving more gifts from the 100 Stars lady (fyi Fanny - the coat is ugly)
• Who were all those people? They seemed like extra's on a tv set rather than friends interacting with Fanny
• Snorty's outfits
  • shoes from Tatyana - a big FU to Tatyana & Selmar wearing them to paint
  • the gay farm hand outfit on Easter Sunday (only thing missing was a broach)
  • Snorty flaffing about in the courtyard with a sword
  • why was Fanny taking the piss out of Potty's outfits, but not Snorty's crazy attire?
• Potty stripping down to swim in that vomit-inducing swamp moat (I'd loose my lunch having to see that)

 

[M&MsMom]

Who of the tattlers was the one who said that the food looks great?

You are absolutely right. Spot on.





Speaking of absolutely right. Seems someone on tattle was busy with working for the party at lalande, they have only posted once since Wednesday.

I said it didn't look bad, but only saw the pics from the large lunch today. That cocktail party spread that @Lady Avonlea posted looked nasty!
I'm going to have to watch the video....

 

[Sparrowsfart]

......your tabs, though!

That tab was tame compared to @HalcyonOrganic normal tabs
---

The bad.....

• Fanny was looking every bit her age (and more)....
  • Fanny's crazy pink outfit on Saturday night
• Fanny decorating the greenhouse with pictures (instead of preparing for the party)
• Saturday night finger food buffet - looked like a bad Barbara Cartland 1970's theme party
  • the food looked awful, especially that cheese hedgehog
  • the charcuterie boards were desperate (did Stuart pass her Cordon Blue training?)
  • couldn't decide what was worse - the bangers & mash or orange mouse in teacups
  • Fanny rolling the left over risotto in green sludge to deep fry
  • Fanny can't cook without drink nearby (or in hand)
• All the last minute, anxiety-inducing preparation
  • selecting recipes & ingredients and major grocery shopping on the day of the party (The 4 days Fanny allegedly spent sick in bed is when she should have searched the internet for recipes and made a grocery list)
  • only starting to cook 4 hours before party
  • half-assed job painting a ceiling just before guests arrived (how much do you dislike the Shreks that you put them in a half-finished room that smells of fresh paint)
  • waiting until Sunday morning to try and turn the fountain on
• WTF was Jared doing in the woods?
• Stuart definitely not looking a perky as she used to be (any coincidence Jared & Stuart are from the same home town?)

The hair curled and then left up in big clips all day?? Has Fanny never used mousse or similar to get extra volume in her hair?

 

[HalcyonOrganic]

That tab was tame compared to @HalcyonOrganic normal tabs

I am not so well educated as most of the modern folks here, so I need google.

 

[MRShavershamsdress]

And what the hell is that? A 180* zipper?

View attachment 2089512

Looks like he borrowed PheePhee’s Egyptian trip drawstring trousers.
---

Wow - that was an assault on the senses....

The good....

• lovely to see so many children & dogs on the Easter Egg Hung without Fanny stealing all the eggs for herself
• Kirsty giving a little lesson on hens & hatching eggs (Snorty didn't even know the name of the chickens with snouts)
• Sunday buffet table - looked okay - nothing spectacular but will give it a passing grade
• Sunday buffet food - Kim Raad (thanks to no help from Fanny) did an admirable job - must be so tough cooking in that excuse for a kitchen
• Maria's voice over - very funny taking the piss out of Fanny's affected posh voice whilst describing the bluebells
• Relatively little Snorty throughout the vlog
• The big surprise is Fanny's neither pregnant nor engaged (it's an Easter Miracle)

Is this Angel Eyes perhaps?!?

 

[Lady Avonlea]

The man who looked Iike a priest turned out to be another American but he wasn't Julia's father as I had thought; I don't think he appeared in the vlog, although the rest of that family were all there. Is Kim's husband called Jost? There were quite a few people I didn't recognise. I thought Annalise looked lovely. Didn't understand why Kirsty and her partner were fencing! I had to turn the volume down as Fanny was so manic that she was shouting all through the vlog. No Ollie, David, or Kat this year!

I honestly didn't know who some of these folks were. I assume the young chap with the champagne got snookered into coming by the 100 Stars lady.

 

[stella65]

Is there a priest at Easter? View attachment 2088452

On hand to ward off wrath of God lightening strike. Remember Mmakhotso Moloi Steph, Phiphi, Isabella and Percy, she’s dead, you’re partying with your fake friends. Every single one of them is doing to you what you did to Mmakhotso, just let that sink in. What goes around comes around.
---

you mean sheep

You mean shag

 

[RubyT]

They were not wanted as repeat guests because they dared to give feedback . . . which they had been asked to do so in the first place.
And it wasn't the kind of feedback Nati/Stephanie wanted to hear.

As a business owner of over 30 years whatever feedback you get from a customer or guest be it good or bad you take in your stride and learn from it and move on - constructive criticism should be taken and improvements made
---

I honestly didn't know who some of these folks were. I assume the young chap with the champagne got snookered into coming by the 100 Stars lady.

I have no idea who any of these people are either and I’ve watching the blogs a long time ….. Kirsty the gardeners hubby I don’t take to for some reason he seems a bit mouthy ! A bit odd no Ollie ??

 

[OhIDontKnow...]

Food looks better than usual. HOWEVER imagine being given one of Snorts yellowed, cracked crazed plates, no wonder 100 stars covered her plate with so much food, disgusting historic germs.

Cracked glaze plates also smell. It’s a terrible smell.

 

[Lady Avonlea]

Why can't Snorty properly iron table cloths before he sets the table? The name cards on the table also look like cut-up used craft paper.

 

[MRShavershamsdress]

Why can't Snorty properly iron table cloths before he sets the table? The name cards on the table also look like cut-up used craft paper.

Nothing says classy like expensive grifted china, stainless flatware and paper napkins. Tacky, tacky, tacky!

 

[Lady Avonlea]

Look who snuck into the Finger Food Buffet on Saturday night?
Based on that tragic excuse for a buffet, I bet she's not thinking of hiring Stuart to cater her June wedding.