The Chateau Diaries #231 Liar land the land of Liars

[Lady Avonlea]

Did someone say FRK may be back?

Fanny mentioned it in CD and FRK's mother has recently begun a Facebook Page entitled Escape to Chateau de La Lande for followers of the people there. FRK's mother also mentioned that her daughter is hoping to return to France. So gird your loins. It's like a moth to the flame.

 

[MRShavershamsdress]

@Lady Avonlea
Fanny is planting her own questions. Chloe Hutton is a long time alias and can't believe that ReBecca Shotton is real either. (who spells ReBecca???)

ReBecca Shotton
8h
Just curious, Stephanie do you pay for all the food for the entire house?
Quote]

Actually, her distinctive spelling of her name makes her pretty easy to find. Similar name in UK but one in Spokane sounds like a Fanny fan.

CashmereAndDriftwood - Etsy

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Comparing the pictures under ReBecca’s Patreon page and Etsy store, the images are different but of the same woman.

 

[Cleo's Asp]

For Stephanie Jarvis, the ultimate Easter miracle is rising from the dead bed.

Sounds like a thread title.

Isn't that exactly what she did immediately before the Patreon Day extravaganza? Does she not realise that people can remember these things? She leaves everything till the last minute, then panics and feigns or brings on an illness, takes to her bed while everyone does all the work, then when everything's been done, she miraculously recovers and joins in. I think Amaury really wants to slap her in the face and who can blame him?

 

[Hemerocallis]

No straight man would ever set a table for pizza, let alone like this.

View attachment 2083084

Colour of the napkins clashes with table cloth.
Table cloth ?
More like a bed sheet.

 

[MRShavershamsdress]

And what bothers me is that PhiPhi is lying about his food allergies. He doesn’t have food allergies…it’s just an excuse. He has the palate of a three year old child and he knows enough to be embarrassed about it. But, rather than owning up to his juvenile culinary tastes, he conveniently uses his allergy excuse. If I cooked a meal that he wouldn’t eat, I’d tell the little twerp he can boil some hot dogs and macaroni and cheese for himself (just like what my niece ate when she was three). In my niece’s case, I would cook it for her…but I’d tell PhiPhi to get off his ass and cook it himself.

Let’s face it Ky, PheePhee wouldn’t last 15 minutes in the home of any one tattler here. If he wasn’t throttled for behaving as a three year old brat, he’d run crying home to mommy after being ruthlessly insulted. A favorite remark in my part of the south for someone utterly useless is to say ”the best part of him ran down his daddy’s leg!

 

[Lady Avonlea]

Never use timber in a wet area ie: kitchen, pantry . It's only going to get marked and turn black over time and then the mould sets in the cracks. YUKKK!!

FFS splash out and use real granite or faux granite which is non-porous. I am sure they have this product in France, if we have it in Oz.

Such a waste of expense. But that's so Lie-Lande doing things over and over again.

Will give Snorty credit on this one, that placing another counter along the 3rd wall in the Area Cuisine would be useful (but Fanny, being as foolish as ever, claimed it's too expensive). Clearly Fanny has bigger renovation ideas in mind for that area, but as a temporary measure on Amazon she could purchase a stainless steel counter. Amazon have many options and for USD$212.00 Fanny wouldn't need to wait for the Chapel and GS renovations to be complete.

For less than USD1,000 Amuary could easily install stainless steel countertops in that entire space. Cheaper than wall paper!

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[Gertrude Maud]

I think Stephanie is somewhat intimidated by no nonsense Marie. Marie wanted to greet the dog before greeting the Shittelaine. She doesn’t play into the drama, Fanny worship, or the little pink camera. When Marie and Isabelle first met, there was an undercurrent of Clash of the Titans over the kitchen area. I don’t think Marie suffers fools gladly and would quickly quash any attempts at gaslighting by Phi Phi. She could easily squash him like a pesky fly. Pavlina looked happy to see Marie ( who would be a welcome respite from the 2 reigning drama queens of LieLande, the high maintenance Shittelaine and entitled Snorts.)

Absolutely agree Ms McKitten.
Boy, I loved it when Maria left last year. Stephanie was all over her.
Maria was so matter of fact saying, I'll be back next March.
You could almost hear her thinking . . . get a grip Stephanie.
Her departure and interaction with Steph really made an impression on me and I really did wonder if she would return to the HMN.

Just like Stephanie needs Dan more than he needs her, Stephanie needs Maria.
Stephanie knows she needs to keep Maria on side, and Philip needs to keep his ugly mouth shut.

That close up of his sneering retort to Maria at the dinner table was very revealing and confirms everything we think about him.

 

[C'est moi]

Imagine if Snorts doesn't finish those leftovers and puts the plastic tub back in the fridge

And then they get used as a starter or incorporated into another dish

 

[Albee]

Never use timber in a wet area ie: kitchen, pantry . It's only going to get marked and turn black over time and then the mould sets in the cracks. YUKKK!!

FFS splash out and use real granite or faux granite which is non-porous. I am sure they have this product in France, if we have it in Oz.

Such a waste of expense. But that's so Lie-Lande doing things over and over again.

I agree. Never seen wood used near sinks like that nor in bathrooms. And don’t get me started on wallpaper in bathrooms.

 

[C'est moi]

I bet Grant paid for the pizza... He was the one who took charge of warming them for everyone... nobody else left their seat
---

Plus everyone was thanking HIM, nobody said thankyou to Fanny...

But fanny buys all the food for when her friends come to visit. She said it herself in her reply in the comments section of her vlog. What a liar, liar pants on fire.

 

[Gertrude Maud]

Dont be mean C'est moi,

There's nobody else here, no one like him
he'sspecial (Special), so special (Special)
He's gotta have some of your attention, give it to him

courtesy of the Prentenders

 

[C'est moi]

They'll have FRK back in the kitchen cooking from her Everything You Could Possibly Cook In Beige cookbook. Maria will be in the Chinese Takeaway/Opium Den room banging out an out of tune composition (cos it's now fucked after being moved) on the old Joanna. The paying guests will be sitting down to eat in a freezing cold room taking it in turns to warm their food up on the woodburner. That is of couse if any of those tits can be arsed to light it. Weeeee what jolly fun.
---

Yes he did that. If thats falling appart in such a short space of time, not a very good advert for his house building skills.

My darling @JackSpratt you are on fire. I feel they have really pissed you off. You go girl

 

[JackSpratt]

Well if that is the case I would think his girlfriend would do more to familiarise herself with the garden, cooking and running a basic business. Whilst Amaury may see the potential for self sufficiency within the chateau grounds, Natty is in no way the right partner for that aspiration. He is wasting the best years of his life (ie youth, no debt, no dependents, health) at the dump making radiator covers and waiting tables.

I'm beginning to think that is all he's capable of doing. Has he (pre Shitoo) ever actually worked for a living or just played at it under the watchful eye of Maman et Papa?

 

[C'est moi]

You're welcome, I'm still warming up! lol Who'd have thought I come from a posh little town in Surrey.

I know your dark secrets because I share them... Gentile, leafy Surrey town? Pah! Last time you were in Guildford on a Friday or Saturday night?

 

[JackSpratt]

I actually disliked all of Davys garden ideas, the unfinished pergola looks like something made of mdf lumber and not in keeping with a French chateau and all those plants wasted in area with deer and rabbits that will demolish them. The courtyard is horrible looks like a low rent fun fair just needs a chip wagon

With the disco lights in the courtyard it really is beginning to morph into this....

 

[Luna20]

There’s absolutely no way she can say that her little vacay didn’t delay having rooms ready or the kitchen sorted or wallpaper picked out or dishwashers installed. Also, everyone gets sick when they fly. Practically everyone. Take Zicam for fucks sake.
---
Oh and Dans over $5000 for Patreon. I am actually happy to see that. I hope he siphons a ton of money off of her. Even with his fucked up way of doing things, he’s done more in the last week than she has since Christmas.

We have been giving Dan tit here on tattle because he drank the cool aid and split up from gorgeous Annalise.

However him 'buying' the ruin was an exceptionally good business decision. His subscribers tripled, his video length went slightly up. He even got his first paid promotions.
No one would drive arround in a beat up van which breaks down every other day, or make multiple trips to Brico if he could afford 1 delivery with all the materials he needed.
He has been shoveling decades of dirt out of the place for weeks consistantly. He had 1 friend coming over from the UK to help. (Although it would have been easier if he would have 2 shovels and 2 wheelbarrows)

He has not a network of people who are business minded he can turn to for advice. So he copies and does what he thinks would give him more views.

Advice from SJ is bad Danny boy. Don't copy her habits, think out of the box and go for it.

 

[Bleu Lala]

Wishing Karma Baby a speedy recovery! Since I don't yet know how to upload the patreon vlog here is a summary which I entitle:
'How to Jam 25 Minutes with So Much of Nothing'.

Boulanger - 1 minute

• Fanny self filming walking through a parking lot in Chateau Rue – heading off to shop for ricotta to make an Italian Easter pie. All the grocery stores are apparently out of ricotta. (I take it that means the Cheese Man isn't coming for Easter)
• Fanny wants to go to her favourite Boulanger for lunch, but is shocked that there’s a que (to be fair, Fanny usually isn’t out of bed, let alone out of the shitoo, before noon so imagine her surprise that people are out and about).
• Fanny buys treats for the shitoo then sits and wolfs down a warm cheese sandwich

---
Driving and Grocery Store - 3.30 minutes

• Sitting in Car, Driving, Shopping for asparagus and ricotta at her favourite grocery store
• Terrible horreur – Fanny put blue tights on with black heels and a cream dress (actually one of her better outfits)
• Buys a pre-packaged Easter Pie for lunch – just sausage meat with hardboiled egg, wrapped in pastry (but that's almost identical to the Easter pie Fanny is making)
• Videos the grocery store and buys tons of ricotta & wild garlic (squeals in delight )

p.s. Grant, wife, 2 children & Maria have all arrived (desperate fools)
---
Countryside Drive - 2 minutes

• Driving through the country side – quite pleasurable - lovely piano music, no Belle Epoque and no Snorty

---
Return to the shitoo – 4 minutes

• Kirsty shoveling tit and Fanny accidentally drives over the trailer - Oopsie!!!
• Kitchen in a big mess because the 2 new dishwashers are being installed (literally every room is under construction. Fanny just realized they needed to be installed because Maria was returning. (Were new dishwashers a condition for Maria agreeing to return???)
• Stupid Fanny thought she’d simply turn the dishwashers on without any installation (Anmuary has been busy replumbing, levelling the counters, building carcasses – while Fanny swanned off to Dubai to shag Potty!
• Snorty sitting on his butt - doing nothing!
• Anmuary’s butt crack - working hard!

New Tattle rule no posting about Anmuary’s butt crack without the accompanying picture!!
Sorry to moderate @LadyAvonela but we need to keep up our standards, as well as our pants!

 

[JackSpratt]

so from Dr Google re chicken allergy things to avoid

People with chicken meat allergies may need to avoid eating some or all of the following:

chicken broth
other chicken products
geese
turkey
fish and shrimp
duck
partridge
pheasant
eggs
They may also need to avoid exposure to chicken feathers and other poultry, including domestic birds.

So does lalalande have feather duvets???

Well he manages to chuck enough duck paté/rillettes down his neck with no ill side effects. Also the Prince and Princess of La Lande wouldn't dream of anything less than feather duvets and pillows for their delicate little bonces.

 

[C'est moi]

Dont be mean C'est moi,

There's nobody else here, no one like him
he'sspecial (Special), so special (Special)
He's gotta have some of your attention, give it to him

courtesy of the Prentenders

Nah. Pretenders or not he ain't getting none of my attention. Despatch the men in white coats. Strap that straight jacket tight. Sling him in the padded cell and throw away the key. That's my compassion for phyll-arse mcsnorty.

 

[Albee]

We have been giving Dan tit here on tattle because he drank the cool aid and split up from gorgeous Annalise.

However him 'buying' the ruin was an exceptionally good business decision. His subscribers tripled, his video length went slightly up. He even got his first paid promotions.
No one would drive arround in a beat up van which breaks down every other day, or make multiple trips to Brico if he could afford 1 delivery with all the materials he needed.
He has been shoveling decades of dirt out of the place for weeks consistantly. He had 1 friend coming over from the UK to help. (Although it would have been easier if he would have 2 shovels and 2 wheelbarrows)

He has not a network of people who are business minded he can turn to for advice. So he copies and does what he thinks would give him more views.

Advice from SJ is bad Danny boy. Don't copy her habits, think out of the box and go for it.

I was just thinking people love to see progress. If Dan just shovels dirt from one end to the other and takes out trees people will be happy. Same with Billy. Just slowly keeping busy at the convent will build his profile. I hope with all my heart people move their money from Stephanie to Dan and Billy. Wouldn’t that be hilarious.