The Chateau Diaries #231 Liar land the land of Liars

[TorontoGWM]

Forget about f’ing Easter. Fix the damn chateau.

 

[CountessPompidoo]

Get in quick guys that’s if any UK Tattlers are XS like Fanny

 

[TorontoGWM]

Enthusiatic about yet
Another unnecessary gathering of chateau
Sycophants
That
Enable her
Renovation fraud.

 

[Lochness Monster]

That is the room for people with kids. How the Smuglies remained friendly with her after she risked those children’s lives I’ll never know. My parents would’ve had their lawyers bury the entire Jarvis Crime Family.

Easter last year,may have been two years ago, but the cracks were clearly visible in her castle, even if not her life.
---

That is the room for people with kids. How the Smuglies remained friendly with her after she risked those children’s lives I’ll never know. My parents would’ve had their lawyers bury the entire Jarvis Crime Family.

In his childhood Snorty's family must have indulged him to no end. I'm sure he never heard the word NO and definitely never heard the following words at the dinner table:

• "you'll eat what's put in front of you or you'll go to bed hungry"
• "there's no dessert until you eat what's on your plate"
• "fine, go to bed hungry then"
• "whatever is left on your plate, you'll have for breakfast"
• "I'm not a short-order cook. You'll eat what everyone else is having"

In today's vlog Snorty claimed he's allergic to chicken. (that's the first I'd heard) Is there a tattler who is kindly keeping Snorty's List of Allergies (aka - foods he doesn't like)? If not, may I suggest we start a list and post it on Wiki.

Yes please. Let us do this.
He eats bread, duck pate and jam.
Peas in a jar? And Dutch squeezy mayonnaise…
He eats Turkey and steak.
He also has to eat several times during the night. This may explain why he must have his own fridge ……
Now what he cannot eat….
Creme brûlée , but he does? chicken . citrus . Yet….. he eats dressing that has citrus.

Also if you are allergic how can he be near these things and that filthy table and chopping boards.

I have noticed how he ponces about, makes his own plates of bread and duck / jam…… while the others are eating mush.
How he manages at bnb suppers I do not know.
He had never seen an artichoke? I’m very surprised that his grandparents who taught him how to put a table cloth on at a jaunty angle did not verse him in vegetable varieties…..

 

[Kickintheass]

It's two years since Cathy monty put together a series of vlogs. I'd love to see a new series taking a dig at all the more recent shenanigans.

 

[Lochness Monster]

They’re not legal to plant in my part of the country as their shallow root systems turn them into deadly projectiles in tornados and hurricanes.

Sorry if this has been said already…. they are Pyrus chanticleer. A very common small tree in the uk. The fruit is inedible and hard as nails…. Ours in the streets has plenty of fruits .
What is a huge shame is that there are 100s of interesting trees that are not so municipal, but Davey as we think is a commercial planter . His plants are dull. That space even if not for productive trees could have been lovely.
I’m watching to see if Kirsty knows how to train the courtyard trees and the new trees in the 3 year pergola project.

 

[Pyke]

Mice in the kitchen for sure with all those crumbs and rats in the garden. Do they ever clean up.
Snorts just said "its so Lalande" HE reads here for sure.
Steph copying Michael and Billy Little Greene she was always a Farrow and Ball and Fired Earth girl.

 

[Lochness Monster]

I can't even stand to hear this tow rags voice-he is a jumped up little twerp with no discernible talent or charisma. One lucky little urchin who managed to attach himself to the gravy train. He is so self centred and mean spirited I can't abide

Please tell us how you really feel. I agree 100% I am not a slapping type but his face , well…
---

They have Amaury, The secret handy man and Kevin and no progress is made in the dump either. La Lande where progress and work ethic go to die

And here we have the evidence.

 

[MRShavershamsdress]

Easter last year,may have been two years ago, but the cracks were clearly visible in her castle, even if not her life.
---


Yes please. Let us do this.
He eats bread, duck pate and jam.
Peas in a jar? And Dutch squeezy mayonnaise…
He eats Turkey and steak.
He also has to eat several times during the night. This may explain why he must have his own fridge ……
Now what he cannot eat….
Creme brûlée , but he does? chicken . citrus . Yet….. he eats dressing that has citrus.

Also if you are allergic how can he be near these things and that filthy table and chopping boards.

I have noticed how he ponces about, makes his own plates of bread and duck / jam…… while the others are eating mush.
How he manages at bnb suppers I do not know.
He had never seen an artichoke? I’m very surprised that his grandparents who taught him how to put a table cloth on at a jaunty angle did not verse him in vegetable varieties…..

I guess dearest, darling, freakazoid grandpapa didn’t have a favorite artichoke?

 

[Marquis de Potpourri]

I want to sit on the terrace and look out across the landscape...it looks so peaceful and beautifully maintained.... I could spend many Zen moments there.

Yeah! My dad loves to have his morning coffee on the front porch, but my mom and I prefer the back patio which faces east.

 

[TorontoGWM]

Can’t the Gay Twank just get a job?????

 

[Pyke]

Dr Snorts give it a rest. He is revolting.
FRK might be back soon. Please NOOOOOOOOOOOO
Snorts eating out of plastic at the table, when he owns a million crockery items,

 

[Marquis de Potpourri]

Can’t the Gay Twank just get a job?????

View attachment 2083039

A first-timer observed:

The sugar mommy responded:

 

[TorontoGWM]

No straight man would ever set a table for pizza, let alone like this.

 

[Sparrowsfart]

They have a giant walled garden and three gardeners last I heard!!!

With a garden that size and gardeners plus all those volunteers, they could be canning and preserving enough food to feed a small army.
I have city garden plus roof with 45 fruit bearing trees and shrubs and vegetables growing in every nook and between the roses...
Ask me how I know...

Sounds wonderful. Would you share some photos with us of your garden?

 

[Arfarf]

I tried.
After abstaining from watching Fanny No Knickers and her Boy Wonder for months I attempted to tune in today and lasted about 5 minutes with much fast forwarding.... but, alas, I had to stop. Snorts has his Grey Gardens Girlfriend SO snowed!!!! It makes me just disgusted. He is a doofus and between the two of them their decorating taste is absolutely ridiculous, tasteless and gastly!!! More wallpaper on a crumbling heap.

I caught the end, and wished that Marie had more sense to NOT come back and was praying she would kick Snorts in his microscopic balls. He is a know it all/ know NOTHING!!! That 7000 piece set of 1930 restaurant
dishes are NOT dishwasher safe.

 

[vitanova]

I tried.
After abstaining from watching Fanny No Knickers and her Boy Wonder for months I attempted to tune in today and lasted about 5 minutes with much fast forwarding.... but, alas, I had to stop. Snorts has his Grey Gardens Girlfriend SO snowed!!!! It makes me just disgusted. He is a doofus and between the two of them their decorating taste is absolutely ridiculous, tasteless and gastly!!! More wallpaper on a crumbling heap.

I caught the end, and wished that Marie had more sense to NOT come back and was praying she would kick Snorts in his microscopic balls. He is a know it all/ know NOTHING!!! That 7000 piece set of 1930 restaurant
dishes are NOT dishwasher safe.

shh. not so loud. let them learn on their own mistakes.

 

[Clara Burnett]

You can't make this tit up. To make absolutely sure the walls of her CHMN will come down, the charlataine Stephanie Jarvis decided to put a grand piano right next to the wall she knows has the biggest cracks. Who cares at this point, right?
Also: the state of that arriver cuisine as she calls it: disgusting does not even begin to describe it.

 

[Abuela]

No straight man would ever set a table for pizza, let alone like this.

View attachment 2083084

Well she did say" she liked a man who liked faerie lights" even though at the time she was talking to Amaury but thinking of Snorts.

 

[Madame de Pompanddoodoo]

Flu my arse. Flu lasts a lot longer than 4 days Fanny. And where oh where are the H & S inspectors in France. Those work surfaces in that back kitchen would not pass an inspection as they no way meet the standards required for a commercial enterprise. They would have to be replaced immediately not several years down the line (after the chapel and grand salon have been restored as Fanny suggested), and if they were not seen to the business would be closed down.
Infestation of mice anyone. What sluttish behaviour to just leave all those breadcrumbs on the board, why don’t they clean up as they go as most sensible people do, not just leave them there let alone leave them there all night.
Evidence of mice in a food preparation area would also be a big red flag in the UK and if not dealt with immediately would again cause the business to be closed.
I am genuinely puzzled as to why with the flagrant disregard of basic hygiene in that commercial kitchen how the B and B is allowed to continue. Why has their licence not been revoked?