The Chateau Diaries #182 Nobody likes anybody in Lalande. They play with genitals, drink, food and power

[pasta_aldente]

Awww reading that Ian "the Plasterer" has passed. Sending my condolences. May he Rest In Peace.

 

[Clara Burnett]

Where is Clara ?

I am here. As always.

when i watched that Marquissappartment vlog..i thought..Ian isnt looking very wel..,,,In a way it is sad he clearly had to work to keep things going..I have the feeling Fanny doesnt even care...its al me me and me...that woman is really nasty...but she will get it on her plate too..but .i doubt we will be the judge of that...A lott of people go to another country to find a new life...but in a way they only get exploited..i have the feeling Fanny takes advantage of all those english workers in her neighborhood...very sad in a way..when things happen they always turn back to the UK..thats not a good sign...

He was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer last month.

 

[OhIDontKnow...]

Dan has lost his fucking mind. Here you go you filthy animals.

 

[Le Baiseur]

I've just bought a forgotten and abandoned chateau in the heart of France to restore, I hope you'll all join my Patreon account and share in my journey with me.

 

[Jules100]

Let’s name Dan’s chateau…

-The Crâpeau
-The Chateau de Ladan
-The New Dump
-His Biggest Mistake
-The Shâgteau
-The 2nd Least Safe Chateau In Rural France
-When’s The Next Fire
-The Skinniest Chateau
-Stephanie’s Heavy Equipment Graveyard
-Craptown
-WTF
-Henri Won’t Even Visit
-Oops I Bought An Abandoned Steaming Pile of Shit
-Chateau du Bodge
-Schitt’s Castle
-Turkey Turrets
-Chateau de la Chompers
-Falafel Fortress
-Cray Gardens
-How To Renovate A Chateau (Whilst Accidentally Killing Yourself Or Someone Else)

 

[Le Baiseur]

From FB. Sadly this is no chateauverse rumor.

 

[Patriciarella]

Dan,Dan, Dan? Well now you have a place to play your drums. I thought you didn’t want to live in a place without plumbing again. I watched you start a family, start a home, start a lawn service business, start a gardening job, start a studio, start a photography class, start tattooing, start sleeping around, start a new hair style, start a mental health for men fund, start a digging career, start a pergola, start a pantry, start a cooking show, start a Gardner’s tea room, start raising pigs, start a trampoline, start a greenhouse, start raising poultry, start wearing bracelets, start a bromance, start putting kids in septic tanks, start a scary movie, start fixing van, start a you tube. The only thing we see you finish is a beer. Take Ruby with you!

 

[Jules100]

Omg…

 

[NotAChatelaine]

How dreadfully sad about Ian the Plasterer.

lurching O/T,. My posting probably going to be a bit limited for a a bit. Had an accident at home on .monday a.m., Spent 24 hrs on the floor in agony before my hollers for attention were heard and neighbour with key appeared. 999 call. Emergency ambulance and admission to hosp on Tues, smashed hip and smashed upper arm ( not to be confused with Dana's dreadful hummous!). Replacement hip surgery yesterday. No surgery on arm. Have a small chest infection too, so IV antibiotics. Every sort of drip attached. All a blast...not! Don't really know if New York or new year as pain relief cocktail is pretty intense. God knows about going home, probably shall have to some R&R staying in a community hosp for a while after I leave big hosp which prob won't be for at least another week. Lovely private place near home but it's fearfully expensive & out of the question. Sorry, am droning on! Pills & potions running away with me! I think some typos &odd syntax, woolly grammar, too!

Viewing vlogs is going to be a bit complicated while on the (perfectly nice side bay of 4 beds, v quiet, view of a bit of garden!) ward that is currently my fiefdom as it's not really allowed! but try to keep up to speed reading here, even if I don't say anything.

I did have one thought ref the chatelaine (who apparently is unable to put together her daily wardrobe? WTAF?) And the never ending catalogue of disaster, drama, chaos and confusion, but with nothing ever completed, used as fodder for vlogs. It's the currency in which she trades and, quite how I've no idea, this cyber racketeering has been and continues to be hugely successful. it's outrageous.

 

[Sparrowsfart]

Was just shelving books in the Library and had to share this book. Clara is a chicken who wants to be a famous detective!
So Clara is not Ruby. I must look at the chickens more closely next time they are on the vlog.

 

[Le Baiseur]

Who will buy these, decorate and sell them to fanny

I have the supplies to make several of this tissue box cover. Would Fanny be interested in these?
Should I contact Manor & Maker to organize a workshop?

 

[LittleMore Cottage]

Is this the chateau he tried to by with that dodgy crowdfunding thing a few years back?

I was just in utter shock. That is not a chateaux, it a burned out building.... it should be bull dozed where did he get the money to buy it? A roof alone could be 100k euros or more. There are no floors, windows, roof, plumbing, electrics. Did you see how long it's taken him to do the farm house??? I don't think I have 50 years to see what happens to the new place. BTW. What are they smoking/ drinking over there?????

 

[ComtesseRose]

Congratulations to @Just Grift Wood for nominating the thread title and @DEEPblue82 for naming the thread title - I took some creative liberties.

Most Liked Posts from the previous thread:




JackSpratt
VIP Member
Monday at 10:01 AM

• #697

I can't bear to watch the shitshow, haven't got the time to readback on comments but I'd love it if it was found out her insurance was null and void due to the chimneys never being swept. Serves her right if they fall. She might be basking in the glow of her Patron Day but lets hope there is such a thing a Karma.

Also dear Tattlers and Tartlets, I will be taking my leave from you for a while. I'm travelling back to the UK today to be with my Mum as her cancer is getting worse and I have a horrible feeing we're now beginning the decline and I really won't know until I get there how bad things are. I will try and read now and then but it just depends what I'm walking into.

Laters Peeps xxxx

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Jeeves
VIP Member
Friday at 7:49 PM

• #83

We usually pick our grand-daughters up from school on Fridays. The eldest (10yrs) was going with her class to Llandaff Cathedral this morning to greet the King and Queen. They had all made condolence cards to give him. When she came out of school, I asked her how the visit had gone. She was disappointed that she hadn't managed to give her card to the King but that a Scottish man collected them all and said he'd pass them on to the King. The girls were excited to watch the coverage from Cardiff on TV that our daughter had set to record for them to see. We didn't see GD's school but you've guessed - our grand-daughter soon pointed out the man in a kilt who collected their cards and put them in one of the cars!
We rushed out into the garden just in time to see the helicopter leaving from the parkland just opposite their home. The girls are hoping that they are reading their cards on their way back to London!

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MRShavershamsdress
VIP Member
Sunday at 2:30 PM

• #518

Luna20 said:
Imam fainted (i adore those names) is a vegan dish, the stuffing is tomato's onions garlic and plenty of olive oil. while a slit open belly is made with beef.

I'm surprised that I haven't gained any weight yet in fact I have lost weight. (Steph you should try working hard & be as busy as a bee then you don't have to water down the wine),

I’ve been following the Mediterranean Diet since January of 2019 and have dropped 200+ pounds and gone from a 5X to a S/M. Plus most of my health issues have ceased. I’m still crazy as a loon but then that’s not weight related!

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Congratulations @MRShavershamsdress


graciemckitten
VIP Member
Yesterday at 12:19 AM

• #832

Anatomy of the Stephanie Jarvis Grift - A Major Chateau Setback video

As is typical Fanny, IMHO, this is an intentionally set up fake event to generate content, create another “delay” for heating since the pressure is on for her to do something about heating since Fall is arriving, create a new “sudden setback” and rake in more monies from Patrons. She knows and is aware before the video is shot about the condition of the chimneys and the flues.


How to Set up the Grift

1. Start with the obligatory bed shot, then leaning out her open bedroom window, then create faux doomsday scenario by dramatically and breathlessly claiming that the log burners must be installed so “we won’t freeze this winter.” Oh no, little Orphan princess Fanny could not freeze, how horrible.

She neglects to mention that the log burners will only heat a few rooms of the Dump, so she really means I, Snorts, Anne Marie, and the Argentenian Bully need to be lukewarm in the winter. The most she will ever do for heating at the Dump will be the purchase of the 3-4 log burners.

And remember, Fanny will be traveling with Potts for weeks most likely from Mid November to mid February, when racing starts up again. She will be there for a week max and then will be off on her travels. She will use the lack of heating to be gone from the Dump for weeks.


2. Have Anne Marie start the project by tearing out a portion of the fireplace in Fanny’s “office.”
Film him, while heckling his efforts and imperiously laughing at the difficulties he encounters and the bricks and debris falling on him. She has Anne Marie doing this when she knows that the wood burners cannot be installed.


3. Create drama by her “running down to see how they actually clear those chimneys.” She has seen it before but has to pretend that this is the first time it has occurred and that she is incredibly curious about it.

Mock Anne Marie for putting up plastic sheeting to protect the walls and furnishing from dust and debris. Stop to heckle the Douche Lorde, and film the latest volunteer.


Moving on to the heart of the grifting scheme

4. Oh No, the cherry picker is too small and they need to rent a taller cherry picker. Need to rent a bigger one. Refer to what Claire has posted about the cherry picker, chimneys, etc. in this thread. Fanny amps up the manufactured drama by breathlessly narrating the cherry picker’s actions.

She then breathlessly and manically ambushes a fed up and unsurprised Percy and Mummy, “ They can’t get to either chimney, the picker is short by one and a half meters (approximately 5 feet). Mummy wearily replies, “I know,” and she and Percy shuffle out of the lens of the camera.


5. Fanny then shuts down the whole notion of cleaning the chimneys and installing the wood burners with “ So annoying!!! Nothing can be done.”“ They can’t get to either chimney.” Creates drama but “they were soooooo close.” “So near and yet so far we had everyone here” “ No they have to hire another cherry picker and they have no idea when their next slot is to come back to the Dump (how convenient) so “ we don’t know when we can get them installed.” Fanny complains that “she is very sad to see the wood grate put back into place in her fireplace.”

She then tells Snorts that “they can’t do it” and layers on a new lie “they can’t reach either chimney and they said that is the biggest cherry picker they can get in the local area.” “They can’t get to either chimney so they can’s put flues down.” “Now we have to think about scaffolding or if there are any bigger cherrypickers.” None of the logburners an be installed at the moment.


6. Fanny claims that she just realized that there are 4 fireplaces on one chimney. This is the first time she has learned this after 17 years at the Dump? Bullshit. She has never had the chimneys inspected although she had used them on and off for over 17 years? WTF.

Now it is time to amp up the drama, lies, and little lost orphan victim scenario. Fanny now claims the chimneys are a mess and a mystery and they have no ideas where the flues are going. All the chimneys are in such a confusion and a state and we wonder about the one chimney we use regularly. She pretends she is surprised that the chimneys may be unsafe.

Now she is quite demoralized Here come more little victim Fanny. Fanny, furiously blinking, says she had all the equipment to install the burners. Then the blaming of the chimney company starts in full force:

Cherry picker not big enough
They hired a second cherry picker that is not big enough
Now we need scaffolding

Closing the grifting scenario with news that it will cost lots more money to “fix” the “sudden surprise” about the chimneys.

Now have to completely rethink the way that the chimneys are to be used with 4 fireplaces going thru one flue, you can’t have 2 fireplaces going thru one flue, that is illegal. Then Fanny hastens to add, to cover her ass, that “we haven’t used them, thank goodness.” Who believes that.

“ This is going to be a very big job now.” For the cost of a few hundred dollars to the contractors, she now has pushed the heating scenario to the background for months so she can be excused from doing nothing about heating, and create another tragic issue that will require lots more money to fix...... just like the chapel scheme.

How many times has she pulled this con? Then she flits off to an expensive Disney vacation with 4 of her employees/volunteers, and the Douche Lord. She is so predictable.Rinse and repeat.

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vitanova
Member
Friday at 1:00 PM

• #11

whoever is paid by madam to read here, tell her to PAINT THE WINDOWS.

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Remember the wiki - Happy Tattling...
And a wonderful reminder of Fanny's follies

 

[Princess and the Pea]

Meanwhile in other news....I notice that Ms Fanny Four Flues was filming in Disneyland Paris...wouldn't it be awful if she had broken the rules again
4.2. Commercial Photography, Videotaping or Recording : Any picture, video, sound recording or photo taken by a visitor in either of the Parks may be used only for personal purposes. All commercial use of pictures, videos, sound recordings or photos of the Parks taken by a visitor shall be subject to express prior written authorisation from Euro Disney Associés S.A.S.

And wouldn't it be even more awful if someone ...after days of emails...had received this response :
"We welcome reports of suspected infringement of any of these rights. Please direct reports to us via one of the following methods:
Email:
[email protected]
Voice Mail:
818-560-3300

Have a lovely evening Tattlers.

 

[Iolair]

Very sad news.
Here's the oddly worded mention of Ian's passing.
She shared no other pertinent info - no sources or explanations.
I find the "& those of the faithfully departed" a strange thing to say.
View attachment 1594983

Thanks to the "@" this makes this 'death notice' about lieLande and in no way displays any hint of thoughtfulness, sincerity, or compassion for a life lost. Where's the sympathy Ian's family and friends should have received? Where's the kind words to them for the loss of someone they loved? Why is the sum of this pathetic missive about his work at the chateau when such a man would have had far more achievements in his life than plastering some #$%&'s toilet wall? Shame on you Brendabitch and damn your to hell for you callow thoughtlessness.

Such sad news. Sincere sympathy goes to his family at this difficult time.
Safe travels Ian and may your spirit soar! You were one of the few good ones at the heap.

 

[Sasha Groves]

I’m still on page 39 of the last thread but can’t wait to catch up and see your comments after last night’s spectacle.

Also, a side note, I mentioned how much Fannys tissue box cover cost during the Framlington Mummies home flog and one of you linked a tissue box cover costing £150ish from a shop in Stow-on -the-Wold in the Cotswolds. Possibly @MRShavershamsdress or @Just Grift Wood?? Anyways with my fellow Tattlers in mind I went in said shop this week and took a photo of my husband holding the expensive item for your viewing pleasure

 

[Le Baiseur]

Bahahahaha!

Teresa Gray
1 hour ago
Loved your mid evil dress. Wish I was there. I live in Nebraska, USA

Margie Lynch
24 minutes ago
Stephanie is working on being high evil , but alas she is only mid evil.

 

[Clara Burnett]

He said he’s been working on this for two years so who knows how many suckers he has talked to in pursuit of this folly. I remember when he first tried to raise the money to buy it he said he thought the grounds should be available to the public or some such bullshit. There was a huge backlash about it. He’d been on YouTube for five minutes and was basically pulling a Selmar/Tatti scheme. He shut it down right away and got his narrative back on track, but apparently he didn’t let it go and went into stealth mode. I’ll bet he set some goals. Like building the channel, fixing his teeth, taking a film class, building a studio, doing bigger jobs at Lalande instead of mowing the grass. Maybe he even wrote up a business proposal and got some funding from somewhere. Realistically, if he grows his channel to Fannys level, starts a Patreon, and does a decent job filming work and getting things done, he might be able to pull it off. He’s got to have money to do projects though, or there’s nothing to watch. I don’t see him going furniture shopping before putting a roof on, like someone we know. He also knows how to do basic stonework, etc. He’s going to need some help though.

Dan the Man: “This project has been in the works for more than two years. Sorry I didn’t tell you guys”.
Oh, Dan, you shouldn’t sell yourself short! You did so much more than that: you took a page out of your former employer’s playbook of pretending and took it to a whole other level. You pretended to prefer ratio over dreaming, pretended to have abandoned the concept of crowdfunding, pretended to be a family man with a focus on getting the family home livable after years of hardship, you have put your kids front stage again and again to ensure more donations coming your way, donations you often used on yourself, but foremost: you created a narrative for yourself that you could believe in AND sell to others as if it was true.
All the while though it must be eating away at you that the mother of your children will always be the true hero of that same story, because she’s the one protecting the boy’s interest while you live the fake fairytale.

 

[Reader's digest]

So karma hit me now for being so mean on tattle.
My husband got Corona with a seldom side effect called priapism. Look it up.... He had to go to the hospital 3x times and got adrenalin injections. And since he has Corona I could not drive him and every time the ambulance had to come - of course in the middle of night. (for the US citizens : this will cost me next to nothing) the third time he got weird side effects from the adrenalin....
So maybe that's why I got distracted and fell and sprained my ancle and have a cast now for 3 weeks.
Also having Corona symptoms like heavy flu symptoms and fever but daily test is negative. Sleeping most of the day and looking forward to tonight's video. Is this sad that Stephanies video is something to cheer me up?

 

[Le Baiseur]

Dan has lost his fucking mind. Here you go you filthy animals.

Wow! Thanks for sharing!
He's certainly picked a big aubergine to swallow! I'll tune in for the reno; it will be a nice change from the Lalande drivel.