The Chateau Diaries #18 Porky mitts and porky pies

[lolander]

Anything needs to be added/taken off?



Thanks to @ploppityplop2 for the intro.
Thanks to @MojoDublin and @Rory for Glossaries.

Glossary

CD - The Chateau Diaries
Tarts boudoir - Chateau de Lalande
HNW - heap in the middle of nowhere
Flat 34B - bolt hole SJ

LOTL/LOTLL - Lady of the (Lost) Lake, aka Stephanie (b.1975)
SSB- She Who Shouts from the balcony, SJ
QBC- Queen of bed chambers - SJ
MB - Madame Boneyparts -SJ
SJ - Stephanie Jarvis
Fanny - Stephanie Jarvis

MMAF - Mad Man's Arse Face, i.e. mummy
Mini Apron - Isabelle Jarvis (nee Biggio, b.1942) married 1962/3 to Derek Jarvis, widowed 2005, married to Percy Atfield year???

Potty/MP - Michael Potts
Cinder-Ruth- MPotts current squeeze Ruth Kelly (b.1981)

Nitti/Nutty - Nati Oliveto

Floral Roadkill (FRK / RK) - Marie Wiik (b.1991)

BJJ - Baby Jesus Jeans, aka Philip Janssen
PP (Nostril of Lalande) - Prince Philip
UH - Uriah Heep - Philip
Renfield - Philip

MP/MP2/MPK - Michael Petherick (b.1986)
MOLD: Man Of LOST Design - Michael Petherick
Crybaby - Michael Petherick
Sir Trotter BDSM - Michael Petherick
Teabag Trotter - Michael Petherick
Master - Swedish director of Elias Truedsson
BS - Billy Spielberg - Billy Petherick (b.1990)
Trotter, Petherdick - any Petherick family reference
Ma Trotter - Sherrie Petherick
Pa Trotter - Mr Petherick Esq
PILF: The only Petherick I'd like to be filmed with - Pa 'Mick' Trotter

Dear Brenda/BG - Brenda Gibbons (superfan/Facebook admin) from Donegal Ireland
Karen Cbomb - other superfan/admin, Canada
Jumpsuit Jill - rabid serial deletor of unfan comments on premier chat - Jill Scott, New Zealand

Donegals - Limericks (renamed in honour of Dear Brenda)
Agents - Tattlers who find out juicy background info

Chat O (or variations) - Chateau (how Brenda says it)
“BuyMeACoffee” - give me money (no, really, give me money, I really need it)

MBNS;GF - more boring narc stuff; gimme facts

PSDFHB - princess shouting down from her balcony
PRSDBP - princess in her robe shouting down from her balcony at the peasants

Wet Blanket - Fun hoover
Mickey Dodger - Woman who avoids sexual encounters

Thanks to @Rory for the SSB Main Squeeze Glossary:

1. Gregory Mason Clark - Husband and boyfriend, on and off at uni. SJ approx 18
2. Nic Larkin - apparently just friends at uni (but also dated according to CB?)
3. Married Husband 22-24??? (wedding registered in July 1999, she was 23 at the time)
4. Michael Potts met through Oliver Strong on and off 10 years. Open relationship in the end. Buys Chateau 2005 during relationship age 29.
5. Edmond Fokker van Craayenstein (player in tight trousers who pretends to be an aristocrat-BF with guy who said "let the 80 years-olds die off")
6. Mason Dwinell on and off (last we heard he is still staring at the sun?)
7. Ludwig Norweigner (otherwise known as Nordic Weirdo, alcoholic friend unceremoniously dumped at the train station without a ticket)
8. James Jardine (turned out to be "too much" for the girl who never has enough)
9. Daniel Hengeveld (nicknamed Druggy Daniel, because of his not so secret habits. IJ was furious about that romance and the fact that he introduced narcotics into the shat-o. Christmas 2016)
10. Various volunteers ad nauseum (bread oven guy Walton, Christian We etc.)
11. BJJ (any port in a storm, eh Stephanie?)

Artwork @Linus

 

[Mummy Dearest]

HNW - heap in the middle of nowhere

Can this be changed to HMN? It’s one that threw me for a loop for a while.

 

[witchgrass]

dB rides into town
guess there will be no G-2021 summit talks
with the influence- tit - errs

In Our Humble Opinion

Rising star
· 2h ·

I want I want BUT I don't want to work..who created the white elephant??
Have I lost the plot...is my head so far up my bottom it would take surgery to retrieve it..am I in a time capsule....help me people because I am in a state of confusion.
We live in a world of constant change, discoveries, improvements etc.
But, not all change is good.
When did we stop teaching our off spring about "work", good old fashioned work..you do a job & get paid. You then use that money to budget & create a lifestyle that matches your income. Where & when did this pattern alter?.
I went to France in Sept 2020 just before we went into lock down here in Ireland, I quarantined for 2 weeks before I left, I took every precaution possible when I was away & spent most of the time on my own the rest socially distancing, I quarantined on my return & haven't left the house since. If we all do our best hopefully we can protect the more vulnerable in our society from covid.
We have seen in the media the public & government back lash @ " influencers" who have swanned off to sunny pastures to influence us. I would have thought by their title that they should be influencing on a more positive note.
I understand when you are an influencer you do collaborations with companies...but we are globally in a pandemic is now really the time...I couldnt believe that one of the vloggers we review here has gone to Madrid to do what I can only describe as some sort of swim wear promotion!! I got several DMs today about it.
What white elephant have we created in the room...we, society are responsible., we have fed this monster allowing the greed arrogance selfishness to grow. By our support of these influencers we are enabling this style of attitude where they believe they are better than us, we are merely "fans without opinions". I am all for helping anyone get started & I respect anyone who tries to push themselves.....BUT I can not support life styles & social ambition. I wouldn't support my own family in such endeavors I'm certainly not going to help a "stranger".
I believe that once an influencer gets their channel monetized they should be on their own two feet. That way they will have a reason to get out of bed in the morning, a reason to think about content etc. If they build up a good following they will receive over €10k+ per month which is a good salary in any country. What incentive do they have if their bank balance is stuffed every month with donations. Would we not be better to help new start ups or other organisations who are trying to improve the lives of those who are suffering..water education health etc. Surely this is better.
If an influencer has a "project" that can be looked at differently.
I couldn't believe when I was sent a copy of an amazon wish list than an influencer had compiled...I didn't know that these existed. I had heard about it on 1 other occasion but assumed it was something the person had put together themselves. How naive am I?..it's like a wedding list...there was all sorts on it from food mixers..fancy light bulbs..fancier trainers..smeg food mixer..hello??? I joke you not, if 1 of my sons or grandchildren done that I would be motified...I would want to find an extremely large hole & throw myself in it! Is there no end to this epidemic of expecting others to finance your lifestyle??
God bless us thats an awful ramble, but I needed to vent thoughts..tell me am I on my own with these opinions

She's stealing our content. I thought she was going to make sandwiches for the poor.

 

[Croquet_Stripe]

Well Michael and Gustavooo seem to be having a merry old time. I guess we now know why Michael hired that trainer!

That boy reminds me of a Wendy's; a freckled redheaded selling beef(cake). If they were stateside, they'd probably be off to Puerto Vallarta with the rest of the circuit queens!

 

[witchgrass]

Well Michael and Gustavooo seem to be having a merry old time. I guess we now know why Michael hired that trainer!

That boy reminds me of a Wendy's; a freckled redheaded selling beef(cake). If they were stateside, they'd probably be off to Puerto Vallarta with the rest of the circuit queens!

I hope Loki shows up here.

 

[Joy no toile]

Exactly! How about Dan's Mercedes though...

Dan was a chef before covid. We don't know as of of yet how well paid. At this time and space he out works every shato owner.

 

[stefanieeee]

Thats true, but the most people in The Netherlands speak much better English than Selmar..i sometimes think he has a bit of a problem with reading etc..But anyway.. you should try dutch... And Stef kept saying panneling panneling...and he kept saying paddeling paddeling..if I was him i would listen and try to learn and improve..

My parents have both died. They both grew up in Amsterdam. They both learned 4 languages at school: Dutch, French, German, and English. They both spoke, read, wrote and followed all 4 languages equally. This tells you how long ago this was that they were in school.

 

[sandro37]

Marquis de Potpourri said:
She should thank Tattle Life publicly for at least giving her some ideas (and points to improve) with a "How Tattle Saved My Vlog!" (new thread title?)

parrrfect gets a vote from me !!!

I am still for the prison themed saving "How Tattle saved me from prison."

 

[lalablahblah]

It wasn't that bad this time. She did 20 minutes of work. Managed to not poor mouth. If you can look up other words for a herd of donkeys you can search the French word for compost. She did look a little annoyed she had her hands in dirt at one point. But it wasn't as bad as usual.

 

[sandro37]

Anything needs to be added/taken off?



Thanks to @ploppityplop2 for the intro.
Thanks to @MojoDublin and @Rory for Glossaries.

Glossary

CD - The Chateau Diaries
Tarts boudoir - Chateau de Lalande
HNW - heap in the middle of nowhere
Flat 34B - bolt hole SJ

LOTL/LOTLL - Lady of the (Lost) Lake, aka Stephanie (b.1975)
SSB- She Who Shouts from the balcony, SJ
QBC- Queen of bed chambers - SJ
MB - Madame Boneyparts -SJ
SJ - Stephanie Jarvis
Fanny - Stephanie Jarvis

MMAF - Mad Man's Arse Face, i.e. mummy
Mini Apron - Isabelle Jarvis (nee Biggio, b.1942) married 1962/3 to Derek Jarvis, widowed 2005, married to Percy Atfield year???

Potty/MP - Michael Potts
Cinder-Ruth- MPotts current squeeze Ruth Kelly (b.1981)

Nitti/Nutty - Nati Oliveto

Floral Roadkill (FRK / RK) - Marie Wiik (b.1991)

BJJ - Baby Jesus Jeans, aka Philip Janssen
PP (Nostril of Lalande) - Prince Philip
UH - Uriah Heep - Philip
Renfield - Philip

MP/MP2/MPK - Michael Petherick (b.1986)
MOLD: Man Of LOST Design - Michael Petherick
Crybaby - Michael Petherick
Sir Trotter BDSM - Michael Petherick
Teabag Trotter - Michael Petherick
Master - Swedish director of Elias Truedsson
BS - Billy Spielberg - Billy Petherick (b.1990)
Trotter, Petherdick - any Petherick family reference
Ma Trotter - Sherrie Petherick
Pa Trotter - Mr Petherick Esq
PILF: The only Petherick I'd like to be filmed with - Pa 'Mick' Trotter

Dear Brenda/BG - Brenda Gibbons (superfan/Facebook admin) from Donegal Ireland
Karen Cbomb - other superfan/admin, Canada
Jumpsuit Jill - rabid serial deletor of unfan comments on premier chat - Jill Scott, New Zealand

Donegals - Limericks (renamed in honour of Dear Brenda)
Agents - Tattlers who find out juicy background info

Chat O (or variations) - Chateau (how Brenda says it)
“BuyMeACoffee” - give me money (no, really, give me money, I really need it)

MBNS;GF - more boring narc stuff; gimme facts

PSDFHB - princess shouting down from her balcony
PRSDBP - princess in her robe shouting down from her balcony at the peasants

Wet Blanket - Fun hoover
Mickey Dodger - Woman who avoids sexual encounters

Thanks to @Rory for the SSB Main Squeeze Glossary:

1. Gregory Mason Clark - Husband and boyfriend, on and off at uni. SJ approx 18
2. Nic Larkin - apparently just friends at uni (but also dated according to CB?)
3. Married Husband 22-24??? (wedding registered in July 1999, she was 23 at the time)
4. Michael Potts met through Oliver Strong on and off 10 years. Open relationship in the end. Buys Chateau 2005 during relationship age 29.
5. Edmond Fokker van Craayenstein (player in tight trousers who pretends to be an aristocrat-BF with guy who said "let the 80 years-olds die off")
6. Mason Dwinell on and off (last we heard he is still staring at the sun?)
7. Ludwig Norweigner (otherwise known as Nordic Weirdo, alcoholic friend unceremoniously dumped at the train station without a ticket)
8. James Jardine (turned out to be "too much" for the girl who never has enough)
9. Daniel Hengeveld (nicknamed Druggy Daniel, because of his not so secret habits. IJ was furious about that romance and the fact that he introduced narcotics into the shat-o. Christmas 2016)
10. Various volunteers ad nauseum (bread oven guy Walton, Christian We etc.)
11. BJJ (any port in a storm, eh Stephanie?)

Artwork @Linus

Please add the link to trotters thread to direct newbies (and some chatty tattlers) there

 

[witchgrass]

Dan was a chef before covid. We don't know as of of yet how well paid. At this time and space he out works every shato owner.

Was joking. It's just a used car.

 

[Pno]

What ever happened to Isabelle’s 7k euro tractor? Selmer and Dan were both using the old tractors. And how big a of dummy can SJ be to name off every onion that is already planted in the garden and buy them all again.

 

[La Brocanteuse]

A couple more thread suggestions:

Fanny, la fleur fanée qui ne peut plus flâner

[The faded flower who can no longer stroll around observing society]

or

Fanny, la flâneuse fanée

[The faded observer of society]

 

[MojoDublin]

breaking news

 

[nuff said]

The last couple of vlogs by Dan and his family have been short, but better content and editing. Not the usual shato drivel of 20 minutes of watching paint dry or moving a bag of pellets, or melting snow! His new style of editing will be copied by the likes of Philly and Barbie as their viewing figures are poor, which is ironic given he has set up a ‘professional production company to rival C4 ETTCDIY’ .

 

[Princess and the Pea]

She's stealing our content. I thought she was going to make sandwiches for the poor.

OK. I've had enough of her. Dear Brenda. Here's some things for you to copy. You are duplicitous - here are some synonyms, antonyms, idiomatic , of this word so you are in no doubt as to its meaning : disingenuous, devious, shifty, sneaky, guileful, indirect, underhanded, deceitful, double-dealing, two-faced and lubricious. You are being mendacious. meaning : deceitful, dishonest, disingenuous, faithless, false, fraudulent, hypocritical, lying, perfidious, traitorous, treacherous, unfaithful, unscrupulous, untrue. As, it is clear you are reading on here, why not fess up to your 'fanbase' that you are doing so? Come on, Brenda if you are so keen to be seen as being so squeaky clean what have you got to hide? You should just come out with it & point the finger to this site and say - dear readers, if you want to know the truth go to Tattle. Come on, I double dare your Brenda. ps..hope you paid for the copyright to use the sugar pink image on your FB page.

 

[Milre]

So Dan made some dronefootage..she said.. we maybe can make a new intro...that would be nice..get rid of that yellow bird next to the gate shouting..Hi i am Stephanie...

No intro would be better for her. People won't fast forward and her watch time would be better!

 

[Princess and the Pea]

Just seen on instagram

if you enlarge the date it is written as 2021-02-1900

Unfortunately he is legally allowed to go to Spain from France. He just needs the necessary paperwork. Morally, I am not sure he would fall into the category from the EU directive "All non-essential travel, especially to and from high risk areas, should be strongly discouraged until the epidemiological situation has considerably improved, particularly in the light of the outbreak of new variants.". France Covid : 17 Feb - 9,432 people have been hospitalized the past 7 days & 66.9% of ICU beds are occupied. Hope his little jaunt probably now to be described as for research purposes for his burgeoning art career will be worth it. Selfish waster that he is.

 

[TheTaxInspector]

I am still for the prison themed saving "How Tattle saved me from prison."

Or How Tattle Saved me From Prison but not From Myself

 

[MojoDublin]

Unfortunately he is legally allowed to go to Spain from France. He just needs the necessary paperwork. Morally, I am not sure he would fall into the category from the EU directive "All non-essential travel, especially to and from high risk areas, should be strongly discouraged until the epidemiological situation has considerably improved, particularly in the light of the outbreak of new variants.". France Covid : 17 Feb - 9,432 people have been hospitalized the past 7 days & 66.9% of ICU beds are occupied. Hope his little jaunt probably now to be described as for research purposes for his burgeoning art career will be worth it. Selfish waster that he is.

were long due an apology - we had nothing to do with his inability to work
he hadn't featured here that much

keep going back to 221 k subscribers - and there's barely 60 posting here -
when you take out all the trolls ....
just doesn't add up

ain't buying what he's trying to sell
seems desperate to find out whom I am thou

Anon Anon

• 1 day ago
Hey Cathy, great videos! Looking forward to seeing the 'artists' work!!! ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-)
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