The Chateau Diaries #18 Porky mitts and porky pies

[Gibson]

He has multiple views on his IG stories, it's impossible to connect the dots. Screenshots don't leave traces. Just make sure your pseudonym here and your IG name aren't similar.

I agree, his superfan web base who follow may have a disappointing moment or two if they are patrons funding his lifestyle.

I was almost tempted to make an Instagram account, but his personal life, doesn't interest me that much other than in relation to the grifting side of his vlogging. People will question and connect the dots.

Only been there 5 months and he acts like he owns the place

He may have bought into it with the royalties from his band days

Only joking...we know there are no other owners and he wouldn't have earned much...if anything from the band.

 

[ploppityplop2]

Philip arrived at Lalande in mid-September 2020

I’m sure he’s a nice enough guy but when he was going through all the plates and deciding which ones to throw away without asking SJ really annoyed me. Also his large slaphead

 

[TheTaxInspector]

In this exclusive video (shot by expert filmmaker ‘Cameltoe’ Philippa), fausse-blonde Jarvis – whose consummate acting skills enable her to keep a straight face throughout the performance – plays the part of a struggling shatelaine (herself) who, having been in a fifteen-year coma, wakes up to discover that she’s living with a load of strangers and that her shato is literally falling to bits in front of her eyes. The shatelaine, known by the locals as ‘la folle du Château de la Fleur Fanné’ (fleur fanné in reference to SJ, if you hadn’t guessed) and by her patrons as the Magnetic Lady, had to be dragged away from a large box of chocolates and out of her bed for the performance. In temperatures well below zero, she explains how she blew £300k on some wallpaper and a heating system that’s never worked. She then explains how her mother met the wonderful Percy after her daddy’s death (relieving her of the burden of having to look after her mother in later years) and how her fear of work (it is rumoured that the mere mention of the word is enough to send her to bed for a week with a fever and terrible migraines) forced her to overcome her ‘shyness’ and launched her on the path to YouTube stardom. Fighting off tears, the shatelaine tells us how Covid put an end to her holiday lifestyle and brought her to the brink of financial ruin, and how the precious Patreons saved her from having to sell her flat in London, her only source of income because she doesn’t work. As thousands of students are queuing up for food in Paris, the shatelaine – wearing boots that even royalty couldn’t afford – tells us that the shato’s a bottomless pit of expense and that no amount of investment will ever increase its value or move its location. She also explains that she spends 70 hours a week editing videos – a full-time job (largely because Jarvis isn’t always able to keep a straight face and the scenes have to be shot again and again).

An Oscar-worthy performance by Jarvis, who succeeds in playing the role of a shatelaine struggling to convince herself that she is neither a lazy scrounger nor excessively greedy.

Obviously written by a very privileged person.
Ça m'énerve

You must remember that SJ, who lives in a monument shitstorique, is a member of the aristescrocuerie

 

[oldandoverit]

If i just had more time which I want to lose with this I would go back in vlog and make a timeline of BS she said, just for fun of it...

I actually think it would be a good idea, though quite a daunting task. Maybe all the videos could be divided up amongst those who comment here regularly

 

[Princess and the Pea]

Some of them are still on Thread#13. They were originally posted by DamoiseauC .

Who has now disappeared...like a lot of Tattlers..what did happen to Peacock Princess? aka Philip/SJ double act??!!

 

[Hercule P]

where has @francisnicole gone ????
all agents - send best alters please


might be the script of all scripts
if your ok with that

Thank you very much Great compliment especially coming from you

 

[Chit~chat Chateau girl]

Agreed. She has the wherewithal to flit from continent to continent yet nothing to invest in her beloved home. AND.....have the unmitigated Gaul to beg for money when she’s out on shopping sprees at Soliado and Bernardaud buying more and more China to shove into that hell hole of China room.
remember she was in Asia with Scotsman when Covid lockdown hit and has to rush back to the sha-toe. How did she get the money for that trip ?

Gerry paid.. He takes her away each year somewhere special for his princess. Tbh, most of her holidays are paid for by ex lovers, friends, house swaps, family. SHE PAYS FOR NOTHINGGGG!!!! GRR..

 

[MojoDublin]

Who has now disappeared...like a lot of Tattlers..what did happen to Peacock Princess? aka Philip/SJ double act??!!

i can remember back in the day - the demand for timelines on a video - precisely where Marie was sulky .... and that it was demanded ( very forcefully - several times )
which makes me reconsider- nutty for that particular job !!!!!

 

[Hemerocallis]

Some of them are still on Thread#13. They were originally posted by DamoiseauC .

Who has now disappeared...like a lot of Tattlers..what did happen to Peacock Princess? aka Philip/SJ double act??!!

Well I don't find them anymore. Used the search function, found @DamoiseauC s posts proposing to post them and then the post where s/he speaks of having them posted. In between NADA.

Don't worry I don't need them anymore.......

 

[Hercule P]

Was MPK so fed up of doing it himself that he had to go to Spain?

 

[chillijam]

Shatelaine - nice

 

[sandro37]

I actually think it would be a good idea, though quite a daunting task. Maybe all the videos could be divided up amongst those who comment here regularly

and suddenly tomorrow will all old videos disappear

 

[Kickintheass]

If Chateau now only open to patreons why can I book rooms on their internet site with euro price. But more curiously ..buy gift vouchers in sterling.... Tax inspector have you any insight.

 

[FrenchGirl123]

In this exclusive video (shot by expert filmmaker ‘Cameltoe’ Philippa), fausse-blonde Jarvis – whose consummate acting skills enable her to keep a straight face throughout the performance – plays the part of a struggling shatelaine (herself) who, having been in a fifteen-year coma, wakes up to discover that she’s living with a load of strangers and that her shato is literally falling to bits in front of her eyes. The shatelaine, known by the locals as ‘la folle du Château de la Fleur Fanné’ (fleur fanné in reference to SJ, if you hadn’t guessed) and by her patrons as the Magnetic Lady, had to be dragged away from a large box of chocolates and out of her bed for the performance. In temperatures well below zero, she explains how she blew £300k on some wallpaper and a heating system that’s never worked. She then explains how her mother met the wonderful Percy after her daddy’s death (relieving her of the burden of having to look after her mother in later years) and how her fear of work (it is rumoured that the mere mention of the word is enough to send her to bed for a week with a fever and terrible migraines) forced her to overcome her ‘shyness’ and launched her on the path to YouTube stardom. Fighting off tears, the shatelaine tells us how Covid put an end to her holiday lifestyle and brought her to the brink of financial ruin, and how the precious Patreons saved her from having to sell her flat in London, her only source of income because she doesn’t work. As thousands of students are queuing up for food in Paris, the shatelaine – wearing boots that even royalty couldn’t afford – tells us that the shato’s a bottomless pit of expense and that no amount of investment will ever increase its value or move its location. She also explains that she spends 70 hours a week editing videos – a full-time job (largely because Jarvis isn’t always able to keep a straight face and the scenes have to be shot again and again).

An Oscar-worthy performance by Jarvis, who succeeds in playing the role of a shatelaine struggling to convince herself that she is neither a lazy scrounger nor excessively greedy.



You must remember that SJ, who lives in a monument shitstorique, is a member of the aristescrocuerie

You're tooooo good !

I didn't want to say that the locals must call her "La Folle du Château" but I'm ABSOLUTELY certain that's the name they give to her.

And I wouldn't be surprised if Dan and Annelise (who seem to have good contacts and relationships with their local neighbourhood) know it .

 

[Mrs O]

The "History" part of their website has always got on my nerves.

The Lalande aristocrats had to "flee the French Revolution" as if it was the plague. Well it was for some aristocrats of course.

But for other aristocrats who were well respected by their peasants (because they respected them), things went OK. I speak from experience.

The most famous example (that the Americans know well) being Marquis de La Fayette who was in favour of the Revolution.

Their website kept on saying that the Nadaillac fought with "the allies"... (Allies ? From which perspective ?) against Napoleon (they mean "against France ?) and finally returned to France with the new French monarchy ( they mean they could exploit their peasants again ?) as if nothing happened.

Was only a bad dream, daaarling...

Worse (for me, Haha) : when you read their website, you would swear that France is still a monarchy ( no mention that it lasted only until 1848 before the second Republic and later, the second Empire).

Obviously written by a very privileged person.
Ça m'énerve

“written by a very privileged person” - or either a delusional person, or one with illusions of grandeur!

 

[TheTaxInspector]

You're tooooo good !

I didn't want to say that the locals must call her "La Folle du Château" but I'm ABSOLUTELY certain that's the name they give to her.

And I wouldn't be surprised if Dan and Annelise (who seem to have good contacts and relationships with their local neighbourhood) know it .

Yes, in my haste to post I now realize that I've misspelt the name - should be Château de la Fleur Fanée

 

[Belladonna1969]

I don't really think she can use the word volunteer now unless it's someone like the Australians on vacation

Goodness yes those bloody Aussies would work for nothing , chuck them a lamb chop and a tim tam and she’s right . But I tell you what no self respecting Aussie would crawl through a hundred year old dunny for the lols . Beer and a bet maybe

 

[Mrs O]

I think it may have been mentioned before, but I find Philip’s familiarity quite laughable and a little unnerving! He is doing it more and more. It was first noticed when he mentioned next Christmas- we can do that next year, that’s great idea for next Christmas.... it was the glib comments when opening the sh*te that admirers had sent in!

The China cupboard, as someone has mentioned, it’s as if he if the head housekeeper /butler / owner of the shatoo! He’s making too many decisions. Lalalande spies be forewarned. The latest vlogs are the same - the royal WE is dropped in conversation repeatedly! There was an old UK film called ‘The Servant’ - SJ should watch it!!!!

 

[nuff said]

You're tooooo good !

I didn't want to say that the locals must call her "La Folle du Château" but I'm ABSOLUTELY certain that's the name they give to her.

And I wouldn't be surprised if Dan and Annelise (who seem to have good contacts and relationships with their local neighbourhood) know it .

Madwoman maybe, better that than being a foreigner snob who looks down theirs noses at locals who don’t know certain vegetables grown in a small garden.

 

[LadyoftheEast]

Agreed. She has the wherewithal to flit from continent to continent yet nothing to invest in her beloved home. AND.....have the unmitigated Gaul to beg for money when she’s out on shopping sprees at Soliado and Bernardaud buying more and more China to shove into that hell hole of China room.
remember she was in Asia with Scotsman when Covid lockdown hit and has to rush back to the sha-toe. How did she get the money for that trip ?

She makes me laugh when she says, "I never leave the Chateau". She used to say it more when she was actually travelling and I'd think, you're hardly every there!