The Chateau Diaries #157 You'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy, caution is advised!

[NotAChatelaine]

The heating. Holy guacamole, what an absolute crock of steaming organic crud (the only warmth to be found at Lalande). Why am I not surprised that there is more than a soupçon of intrigue, wheels within wheels and muddying of the waters.

What joyous serendipity that Cuz appears to have a pal in England who recently (very recently) set up just the sort of company to deal with the vexing problem of Lalande's heating system. Enter Nathan from stage left, brandishing a fistful of figures.

Without, it would seem, receiving any other estimates from local - French - companies or seeking specialist advice and guidance from an independent consultant, Stephanie announces to her patrons - in one of her rehearsed set pieces to camera, overacting like a thing possessed - that the perfect solution has been found.

You couldn't make it up. It's all so convenient, so predictable, so Lalande.

It stinks in a "something is rotten in the state of Denmark" sort of stink, a "fish rot from the head down" stench

(In the interests of fairness, there's nothing to say that Nathan isn't competent but that's not the point. Why on earth use an English company, given the practicalities and logistics involved? Not to mention that you do have to wonder if Nathan has the experience to deal with such a large project and the undoubted complexities of a property such as Lalande. I hope he doesn't get his fingers burnt in this baptism of fire...if it ever happens.)

 

[graciemckitten]

View attachment 1385348


It was clear from earlier posts that Fanny believed that Ian (or perhaps Tina) were writing as Clara. The speculation was who Fanny thought Ian was masquerading as and not as some seem to think, who the enigmatic Clara is.
I think Ian is better off out of the Lelande cesspit - it was only a matter of time before he outlived his usefulness to her.

As @JackSpratt says, there is something fishy about a company set up very recently, conveniently in time to collaborate to address the heating issue that does not go away. They put in a large quote for the work, Patreons up their contributions to help their beloved Princess to get the work completed - and that the actual invoice is lower so that the heating company (Amaury's friend) takes their cut.

Or they collect for the work and the friend only completes a portion of it/ or just pretends to fix the heating, and they split the contributions. There is something underhanded going on,

 

[Madame de Pompanddoodoo]

It seems like Amaury is becoming more and more complicit in the Shittoo grifting extravaganza with every hour he spends at the Shittoo. He may regret the day he set foot on the grounds of the decaying farmhouse.

Yes but they are both cast out of the same mould. Only now they are refining their act so one plays good cop one plays bad cop. The whole family are dirty and shameless grifters and we can see through you, no matter how prettily everything is wrapped up. When we CONTINUE to deceive oh what tangled webs we weave.

 

[Jeeves]

Email #101

Dear Stephanie,

Please forgive me emailing yet again but my son has not had any response to the 25 emails he sent earlier.
We are anxious to find work experience for our son Philip, who struggles to settle to anything. He has dropped out of theatre school despite claiming he has ambitions to find a career on the stage. An interlude as a waiter was short-lived.

Worrryingly, he is now becoming an annoyance for his grandparents, constantly fondling and cataloguing their china and silverware. They are unable to cope with with this increasing obsession. He is even telling his grandmother how she should dress.

He spends hours in front of his mirror practising a Charleston he learned for a high school musical and trying to perfect a British RP accent. He has no friends of his own age, other than a rather strange classmate from theatre class. We are very worried about him and feel that his health would benefit from some time away at your Chateau. He is extremely thin, (not helped by his tendency to wear very tight ladies' clothing), prematurely balding, has multiple allergies and intolerances and is developing obsessions about woodland animals and is extremely lethargic and completely unable to manage even the lightest tasks.

Please consider taking our boy on your volunteer programme as we feel that he could recover under your guidance,

Regards,

Desiree Janssen.

 

[Princess Pussycat]

Because he owes Ann Marie a favor.

or perhaps Nathan is just a front and Auntie and Uncle have added the Company to their portfolio?

 

[Ms Tea Morning]

Question for the international Tattlers - in Australia we have smoke detectors in all buildings. Residential buildings - very cheap, battery operated, easy to put in many rooms. I was shocked (naivety on my part) when living in Asia in apt these were not used outside common areas. Are residential smoke detectors a common thing around the world?

https://www.modernbuildingalliance.eu/EU-fire-safety-guide They are mandatory in most western european countries. I am living in one of those countries. In 3 rentals I have lived in they were installed while I lived there (in others they were already installed). You (meaning the owner, so in rentals the landlords) can get hefty fines (5 figures) if they are not installed and there is a (deadly) fire. So you should find them in Western Europe at least in the common areas and bedrooms (not necessarily in all corridors, depending on country). Each time a craftsman came over to fix something in the flats I lived in where they weren't installed yet, the craftsman told me to get my landlord to install them. And after slight nagging each landlord complied and sent somebody to install them.
Personally I hope there will be some EU wide law soon to have good standards everywhere in Europe. And I am quite optimistic, because the European Parliament has done some amazing regulations over the past years. For example regulating that data roaming costs (using the internet in a country different from the country in which have your cell phone provider contract) in the EU were curbed extremely. Last month I went to visit a friend in Malta and my cell phone bill was just 8 € / month (data flatrate with 2 GB fast internet and then slower internet, 100 free calls, 100 free sms) as every month, because they are not allowed to charge any additional costs if you go to another country. Or another very recent one (not yet implemented) that cell phone companies have to use the practical USB-C chargers. Sticking it to Apple and their stupid lightning chargers. Or that they increased the rights of workers in regards to safety and health dramatically (89/391/EEC). It makes so much sense to have these common sense regulations across borders.
But Stephanie and crew do not seem to regard regulations as something positive, that helps you to live safer, protect the environment and often saves cost in the long run (e.g. mandatory good insulation), but as annoying, useless and something to be ignored unless there is a direct threat of a fine.

 

[Lady Avonlea]

Yes but they are both cast out of the same mould. Only now they are refining their act so one plays good cop one plays bad cop. The whole family are dirty and shameless grifters and we can see through you, no matter how prettily everything is wrapped up. When we CONTINUE to deceive oh what tangled webs we weave.

Suggestion - The whole Jarvis/Richmond family are dirty and shameless grifters and we can see through you

 

[graciemckitten]

Yes but they are both cast out of the same mould. Only now they are refining their act so one plays good cop one plays bad cop. The whole family are dirty and shameless grifters and we can see through you, no matter how prettily everything is wrapped up. When we CONTINUE to deceive oh what tangled webs we weave.

Amaury, on video, is usually presented as a soft spoken, earnest cousin that balances out the gaudy, selfish, spendthrift older cousin. That is part of their practiced and well planned con.

 

[Pyke]

Ever seen a peacock on a heating engineers Facebook pages well you guessed Nathan has two photos on his, so Lalande he should fit right in.

 

[graciemckitten]

Ever seen a peacock on a heating engineers Facebook pages well you guessed Nathan has two photos on his, so Lalande he should fit right in.

Is Nathan a past paramour of the little orphan princess? She never pays money unless there is some connection she can cash in on, personal or otherwise. Like when she gave the monthly charity donation to a friend’s very dubious charity which may or may not have existed at the time. Or the donation in South Africa which generated a big tax write off in South Africa for Fanny /Isabelle/Percy. She is always scheming. Remember their family motto “ Some thing for Nothing.”

One day the Netflix expose on Fanny will be called, “ Something for Nothing: The Little Orphan Princess Stephanie Jarvis Story.”

 

[Luna20]

And where is the written quote? Probably all inflated figures. À grifter’s got to grift. Must be a genetic trait in that family.

I want to see the written quote too! Immediately after that I want to hear her announce she will do as many vlogs a week as she can and kindly ask her viewers to binge watch her videos from the beginning. After that I want her every month to tell us this much I'm setting apart from patreon, this much we have earned via youtube and setting it apart. The B&B income she can live on for the rest of the year. Until she reached that 300K instead of spreading it out over 3 years!

 

[graciemckitten]

Emails #4, #242, #2489, #3378, #6745, and #8999. Ms. Jarvis, your sexual diseases test results are in. Please call us immediately and do not engage in sexual relations with anyone until we speak to you. This is a matter of utmost urgency. We have never before seen results like yours. Very concerning. We have sent you numerous emails about this. Please respond. This is a public health emergency.

 

[C'est moi]

why would you start this f you're gong to leave it in this sorry state? Adding the chandelier is just polishing a turd

Nah. Sorry. Impossible. You can't polish a turd... You can, however, sprinkle glitter on it

 

[Jeeves]

Email #4. Ms. Jarvis, your sexual diseases test results are in. Please call us immediately and do not engage in sexual relations with anyone until we speak to you. This is a matter of utmost urgency. We have never before seen results like yours. Very concerning.

Email #5. Ms Jarvis, Thank you for the additional 3 pages listing your previous and current sexual contacts. These will be added to your case notes.

 

[Loire Valley]

Nathan might have been introduced to the shitlaine by Armoir to replace hedgehog foundler!!

 

[Albee]

Honfleur Association

RNA : W143007503 (JOAFE id -accounts)

Merci Beaucoup Arthur. So we can now determine that both Chateaus have registered their associations. What still remains a huge ministry is why the ministry who overseas these associations does not follow up on or insist that their accounts are published. Fanny we know is over the amount dictating they are published. Fleuries we are not sure.

I finally got to watch the offering from Thursdays vlog. Well Fanny gets the record for the most blinks per second at the beginning there. I must say the footage with out Phiphi was dare I say it quite enjoyable and his absence was noted because of the joy it brought the viewer not to have to listen or see him. On a side note where was he? She mentions that he was away. It was very strange to see her on her own tackling tasks like a normal person without the other half surgically attached at the hip 24/7. I am convinced that convertible car is her new car and not her aunt and uncles. We had a sneak peak at the seats and they look very new. In one breathe she tells us she doesn't eat before 3 in another she is going to have a picnic while she waits for the van to be inspected. I think that van is Matts revenge. She obviously squeezed him really tight for what she was prepared to offer for his diggers and van. Lets take bets if we ever see that van on the road. I doubt it! I didn't see any footage of them 'kissing' has it been removed or was that in another video?

 

[KiKiGee]

Steffi should focus on music workshops for regular income.

 

[Trengilly]

Email #101

Dear Stephanie,

Please forgive me emailing yet again but my son has not had any response to the 25 emails he sent earlier.
We are anxious to find work experience for our son Philip, who struggles to settle to anything. He has dropped out of theatre school despite claiming he has ambitions to find a career on the stage. An interlude as a waiter was short-lived.

Worrryingly, he is now becoming an annoyance for his grandparents, constantly fondling and cataloguing their china and silverware. They are unable to cope with with this increasing obsession. He is even telling his grandmother how she should dress.

He spends hours in front of his mirror practising a Charleston he learned for a high school musical and trying to perfect a British RP accent. He has no friends of his own age, other than a rather strange classmate from theatre class. We are very worried about him and feel that his health would benefit from some time away at your Chateau. He is extremely thin, (not helped by his tendency to wear very tight ladies' clothing), prematurely balding, has multiple allergies and intolerances and is developing obsessions about woodland animals and is extremely lethargic and completely unable to manage even the lightest tasks.

Please consider taking our boy on your volunteer programme as we feel that he could recover under your guidance,

Regards,

Desiree Janssen.

You devious witch - love it.

 

[KiKiGee]

I didn't see any footage of them 'kissing' has it been removed or was that in another video?

It has not been removed, @15:37. If you blink, you will miss it.

 

[Trengilly]

Nathan might have been introduced to the shitlaine by Armoir to replace hedgehog foundler!!

Impossible - Nathan has a job. Stephanie likes bums