I made my comment before I saw this. Your were much more succinct @lolander, apologies.
The Chateau Diaries #157 You'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy, caution is advised!
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Makes you question if those poor folks at Christie’s still have jobs. That’s got to be a stain on a reputation!
I don’t actually do social media so I’m not particularly well versed in Facebook et al. But I should think lack of comments would be suspicious.
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Èmail #654. Ms Jarvis, this is your accountant. We supplied your accounting information months and months ago. Why have you not returned our calls? It has come to our attention that you are claiming in YouTube videos that you have not received the accounts. This is very concerning. Please call us immediately.
Email #666
Dearest Stephanie,
I see what you did there. Keep up the good work!
Your friend,
Lou Seefur
Dearest Stephanie,
I see what you did there. Keep up the good work!
Your friend,
Lou Seefur
Email #9001
Stephanie,
Thank you for contacting me regarding your upcoming Patreon Party. Yes, I will be able to bring 2 Cheetahs to your event. Yes, they all have rhinestone collars. And yes - you and your son Phi Phi will be trained by the handlers, on standby, off camera. The leashes are only 2 feet long. No they do not have rhinestones on them. We could opt for chains vs. leashes. We can add glitter spray to the chains for that extra wealth/glam look at no additional charge.
I’m attaching the hold harmless release form & contract that must be signed, notarized. These documents, along with your payment in full must be received in my office no later than July 31, 2022.
Lastly, I understand that you and your son will have 3 wardrobe changes for the photo op w/Cheetahs. Per your note please know there is no issue with the chapel/altar location (will you be laying on the altar, or were you wishing one of the two cheetahs to lay on the altar?).
The courtyard/front of farm house location seems pretty straight forward.
However, posing w/cheetahs in the middle of the drained lake is not going to work due to soil instability. I would recommend a forest location.
Posing naked next to the cheetahs in the drained lake, again - will not happen for safety reasons.
Yes, I understand you have multiple gossamer dressing robes, and that your son has a lovely see through jacket . If you find the right spot in the forest, we could rig lighting so you would still get the “see through” effect you are hoping to achieve.
I am sorry to report though, that you may not hold or dangle peacock feathers as this would be a distraction for the cheetahs. Yes, if you are able to securely fasten the crowns you both wish to wear - this is an option in lieu of the peacock feathers. Please let your hair/make-up staff know that should your crowns fall off, or shift - this would startle the cheetahs. The risk-reward factor comes in to play again with use of a drone. Thank you for the introduction to your friend Dan. His services will not be needed.
Thank you again for your note. I’m sending this response via registered post to track delivery/receipt.
Best,
Lars Dystopia Productions
Stephanie,
Thank you for contacting me regarding your upcoming Patreon Party. Yes, I will be able to bring 2 Cheetahs to your event. Yes, they all have rhinestone collars. And yes - you and your son Phi Phi will be trained by the handlers, on standby, off camera. The leashes are only 2 feet long. No they do not have rhinestones on them. We could opt for chains vs. leashes. We can add glitter spray to the chains for that extra wealth/glam look at no additional charge.
I’m attaching the hold harmless release form & contract that must be signed, notarized. These documents, along with your payment in full must be received in my office no later than July 31, 2022.
Lastly, I understand that you and your son will have 3 wardrobe changes for the photo op w/Cheetahs. Per your note please know there is no issue with the chapel/altar location (will you be laying on the altar, or were you wishing one of the two cheetahs to lay on the altar?).
The courtyard/front of farm house location seems pretty straight forward.
However, posing w/cheetahs in the middle of the drained lake is not going to work due to soil instability. I would recommend a forest location.
Posing naked next to the cheetahs in the drained lake, again - will not happen for safety reasons.
Yes, I understand you have multiple gossamer dressing robes, and that your son has a lovely see through jacket . If you find the right spot in the forest, we could rig lighting so you would still get the “see through” effect you are hoping to achieve.
I am sorry to report though, that you may not hold or dangle peacock feathers as this would be a distraction for the cheetahs. Yes, if you are able to securely fasten the crowns you both wish to wear - this is an option in lieu of the peacock feathers. Please let your hair/make-up staff know that should your crowns fall off, or shift - this would startle the cheetahs. The risk-reward factor comes in to play again with use of a drone. Thank you for the introduction to your friend Dan. His services will not be needed.
Thank you again for your note. I’m sending this response via registered post to track delivery/receipt.
Best,
Lars Dystopia Productions
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’Clara’ has offered a lot of content here in a very distinct voice and grammatical style.
If Jarvis and her detective
mates can’t work out who ‘she’ is, then they don’t deserve to know.
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Email 745. Dear Ms. Jarvis, While we are appreciative of the vast amounts of money you spend at Emmaus monthly, again we must ask you to stop dropping off broken, dirty, and obsolete junk at our collection sites. And again, we ask that your friend Phillip wear a facial mask while in Emmaus as his heavy breathing on the plates and glasses create sanitary issues and alarm customers.
Email #78. Hello Stephanie. We are wondering if we could come stay next weekend at La Lande. Regards, Tatti and Selmar
Email #78. Hello Stephanie. We are wondering if we could come stay next weekend at La Lande. Regards, Tatti and Selmar
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Hopefully all the other chateau owners will learn from it too. Although, have to say that there are already a very few who are, unfortunately, already on the same path as SJ. Abuse of the Patreon system and lack of transparency will be the downfall of them too, no doubt about it!
Can we say here how to find this vlog?
It’s all a scam of course. There will be no legit heating system put in. This show was only for those patrons and viewers who continue to ask about the heating system. They won’t stop asking. So, it didn’t really work. Her trained dogs will continue to respond and monitor comments acting as if Stephanie has done all she could but, it’s just not feasible at this time. Then off for another travel adventure since she’s freezing and can’t possibly stay too long at any given time in the shitoo. Don’t worry subscribers, next winter she will be saying the same things.
Email # 35. Fanny, stop wearing my jewelry and using my china. You and Phillip stay out of my apartment. Mummy
Framingham Tea Dainties
Upper Framingham
Framingham
United Kingdom
‘Reaching all corners of a post Brexit Europe”
Dear Ms Jarvis,
We are pleased to quote for your September 2022 event as requested:
34 egg sandwiches - Gluten free, Vegan, egg free, dairy free.
34 Devonshire Tea Scones (Framingham style) - Gluten free, vegan, egg free, dairy free, sugar free
Both choices pre-frozen and delivered end of August.
Cost £3,400.00.
Yours sincerely,
Douya Needa-Hanjaab
Ass. Manager
Upper Framingham
Framingham
United Kingdom
‘Reaching all corners of a post Brexit Europe”
Dear Ms Jarvis,
We are pleased to quote for your September 2022 event as requested:
34 egg sandwiches - Gluten free, Vegan, egg free, dairy free.
34 Devonshire Tea Scones (Framingham style) - Gluten free, vegan, egg free, dairy free, sugar free
Both choices pre-frozen and delivered end of August.
Cost £3,400.00.
Yours sincerely,
Douya Needa-Hanjaab
Ass. Manager
I 100% agree as I have since posted without seeing your comment.
All strategized around the kitchen table late one night over a few too many beers.
I just found Nathan and Amaury's over familiarity when attacking the fire places rather strange.
As with everything at the HMN, all smoke, mirrors, lies PLUS paranoia now having been added to the never ending list of deceptiveness. All created via a pink phone.
E-mail #8765 from caterer
Dear Stephanie,
Thank you for your interest in our products and services.
Regarding your inquiry about food delivery to your event, we would like to point out the following:
1. Our company offers standard menus from which you can certainly choose something. On this occasion, we would like to point out that we consider your requested grocery list to be very unusual and modest, and we cannot commit ourselves to signing such a menu. We are of the opinion that brussels sprouts, eggs and pasta are not enough. We still have to take care of our reputation.
We employ professional chefs and none of them wants to cook eggs in their shells and asparagus in the same pot. With all due respect, and we have chefs from various parts of the world, no one has heard of such a dish.
2. As for food. We always use fresh ingredients and the fact that you want to serve some of yours in addition to our offer worries us a little. We are very concerned about your products, some of which, as you stated, are 11 years old.
Due to the large number of doubts regarding your inquiry, please contact us as soon as possible.
Thank you
Dear Stephanie,
Thank you for your interest in our products and services.
Regarding your inquiry about food delivery to your event, we would like to point out the following:
1. Our company offers standard menus from which you can certainly choose something. On this occasion, we would like to point out that we consider your requested grocery list to be very unusual and modest, and we cannot commit ourselves to signing such a menu. We are of the opinion that brussels sprouts, eggs and pasta are not enough. We still have to take care of our reputation.
We employ professional chefs and none of them wants to cook eggs in their shells and asparagus in the same pot. With all due respect, and we have chefs from various parts of the world, no one has heard of such a dish.
2. As for food. We always use fresh ingredients and the fact that you want to serve some of yours in addition to our offer worries us a little. We are very concerned about your products, some of which, as you stated, are 11 years old.
Due to the large number of doubts regarding your inquiry, please contact us as soon as possible.
Thank you
That was so stinkin good!!
Email #999 Miss Jarvis we must ask you to add a warning before each vlog starts that it includes excessive blinking and viewers must take care Thank you Epilepsy Action.
(Tattlers..This is not making light of this condition I know as friend suffers, with flashing / strobe lighting).
(Tattlers..This is not making light of this condition I know as friend suffers, with flashing / strobe lighting).
Seriously, I can’t cope with the hilarity in all these wonderful letters.
I think we need to go into the comedy-writing business. Jeeves, your “…constantly fondling and cataloguing their china and silverware” saw me snorting with such mirth I swear I nearly bloody choked.
Wow- that sucks
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