The Chateau Diaries #157 You'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy, caution is advised!

[Iolair]

Hello fellow Tattlers,

I'm bowing out for a while. My beloved mother in law died today - cancer. A very sweet lady, her unfailing love and generosity kept me sustained when far from home. And with a heavy heart, I've just received word from Australia that my much loved godfather, who raised me has also died from complications arising from covid. He was 100 years old but still fit and very active till covid. I'm beyond devastated. It's all just too too much.

I'll return soon. Keep up the good fight. And please stay safe.

 

[Just Grift Wood]

I really enjoyed Stephanie on ETC and discovered the Chateau Diaries and became an avid viewer-a bit of light relief in dark days. Like so many I really enjoyed her quirky sunny nature but as time went on it just began to seem phoney, the videos have now become very formulaic and forced, there is none of the original naturalness and the cast is dull. Quite frankly I have just come to think she is taking the piss so googled her, that led me here months ago. I always thought people who became patreons must be sad lunatics and always thought it was an odd premise but being nosey had to find out for myself just to realise it really is money for nothing now for the life of me can't find how you cancel. She clearly has never been poor or anything like and that is fine but she is actually tight with her own money, she also seems to discard people and although the super cheery facade doesn't ever slip it now seems forced like the high heels to do pretend work for CH4. The persona, the wardrobe all seem fake affected eccentricities to make her appear interesting where I suspect she is actually a neurotic husk of a human being. I used to think she was kind as well but that mask is fast slipping. I visited here months ago but didn't post as it seemed a bit hostile to newcomers but having read lots of posts now I realise that initial perception was wrong. The day that really finished me was when they were washing the tiles for the china room but in the end got bored and left it to some poor grey haired sap. Todays video was laughable she is so up her own arse. I would happily still watch her content if she wasn't milking the money from both patrons and the distasteful gift grab. At this point its seems most of the patrons are muling sycophants who would shower her in compliments even if she was gauging their eyes out with a spoon- in a nutshell it has become nauseating.

 

[Clara Burnett]

Can we bring our own ass bread to the patron party? I think other peoples ass bread is gross.

To make things a little more interesting: I have rsvp'ed to an invitation to come to the Patrons Day myself. Tick Tock, Stephanie, looking forward!

 

[Clara Burnett]

She started it assuming Ian would work on it has been said that Ian hurt his back at the shit show? I’m wondering if the argument is over workman’s compensation? I’m sure they have this in France
@Clara Burnett

Stephanie Jarvis accused Ian of writing here, that's the fallout.

 

[Isabelle6541]

I know one thing… Matthias is about to get his azzz blocked.

 

[Clara Burnett]

While I am a great admirer and notice-taker of Clara's wet work -- and her silences -- there's no way Tina would be sashaying through the shitoo as recently as Clara has been. I worry Clara exposes herself too much here to start with, so I won't be giving examples of why I think it's impossible that she is Ian or Tina. Speculation about her identity is something I avoid. I don't need to know, just to scratch my tattlin' itch. And the price of disclosure would be losing an invaluable eyewitness. I once told the company lawyer I'd go to prison rather than reveal a source. He said, The Women's Detention Center is not a nice place. I said, It's just another story.

I am not Tina and I am not Ian. No matter who Stephanie Jarvis seems to believe I am, her blaming innocent people for my wet work as you call it, is a less fun part of it. I am well aware it disrupts peoples lives and apparently even peoples work and I do understand people hating me for not revealing my identity and get them off the hook. I honestly feel though that that's her responsibility (for putting them on public display) as it is their own for allowing to be associated with her schemes and profiting from it.

 

[Heathcliffe]

Good evening Tattlers! Almost weekend. I have to have a smallish rant here tonight. I saw that post here for patreons of Lalande. It was just UTTERLY appalling. As much as I have previously enjoyed some of her vlogs,- Stephanie is now taking her patreons for granted, and not giving them what they signed up for. For goodness sake, just install the bloody heating! It was not becoming to look so stroppy faced with having to pay for that rather large job. Why the stroppy face? Because she wants more spending money and resents the fact that money coming in also is due out. This is not about keeping warm, it is about keeping the house in good nick. Damp is no good for buildings. She looked like someone had stolen her favourite toy, and it made me rather annoyed. She can afford it. Her two other house owners can afford it. It is not her right that strangers must pay for it, but they do. They really do, and they want to see the building restored. She keeps projects out of view due to tv show, though the patreons should be the first to see things, they pay. Then she does not finish and update on the resoration they are interested in. Then she appears stroppy because she has to spend money on a "boring" project like heating, and acts as if she has the world on her shoulders. Ought to be ashamed of herself! I'd spank her on my knee right now! And to finish it off she is rude to Phillip showing us that shambles of "Con te partiro", he killed that song. What a bitch. There was a rather ugly side shown in that patreon video, and total lack of insight if she does not realise that this will upset a lot of people.

 

[Jules100]

As always, great job @Jules100. You nailed it.
Just out of interest, how long does it take you to edit your vlog - asking for a friend, obviously!

I am very new to filming myself and editing videos. It is very hard for me to do it because I am very shy and self conscious. Sometimes it’s hard to just get out a coherent sentence while filming. I know I have too many edits, but I just try to get through a couple sentences at a time because it is a bit overwhelming. I am slowly getting used to it and I’m always trying my best. I have the very basics of editing down and sometimes have to ask my teens how to do something a little different. I can usually film, edit and have it processed on YouTube in 2-3 hours. Each time gets a little easier.

 

[Lady Avonlea]

Snorty

Fanny thinks Snorty's beanie is classic. No, Snorty's beanie is disgusting and rank.

Snorty - "300K, for that price just buy another house". Yah Snorty, you go do that! Use your allowance Squirrelboy and go buy your own 300K house. You lazy, infantile, unemployed, no talent, can't sing, porcelain polishing, music school dropout cum gigolo/beard.

Snorty sings - Time to Say Goodbye'. Please take the hint Snorty, it is indeed time for you to say goodbye! You're well past your sell by date!

 

[Jeeves]

Email #101

Dear Stephanie,

Please forgive me emailing yet again but my son has not had any response to the 25 emails he sent earlier.
We are anxious to find work experience for our son Philip, who struggles to settle to anything. He has dropped out of theatre school despite claiming he has ambitions to find a career on the stage. An interlude as a waiter was short-lived.

Worrryingly, he is now becoming an annoyance for his grandparents, constantly fondling and cataloguing their china and silverware. They are unable to cope with with this increasing obsession. He is even telling his grandmother how she should dress.

He spends hours in front of his mirror practising a Charleston he learned for a high school musical and trying to perfect a British RP accent. He has no friends of his own age, other than a rather strange classmate from theatre class. We are very worried about him and feel that his health would benefit from some time away at your Chateau. He is extremely thin, (not helped by his tendency to wear very tight ladies' clothing), prematurely balding, has multiple allergies and intolerances and is developing obsessions about woodland animals and is extremely lethargic and completely unable to manage even the lightest tasks.

Please consider taking our boy on your volunteer programme as we feel that he could recover under your guidance,

Regards,

Desiree Janssen.

 

[Linus]

"working"

 

[Jules100]

Fanny is very overconfident about her long term appeal to Patrons. Patrons may be tired of her at some point and her revenues will plunge. She just doesn’t want to put in heating ever. Two of the three log burners will keep her warm and that is all that matters to her.

Stephanie is so very lucky that one of the three log burners will be installed in her very own office area, right outside her bedroom. She will stay snug and warm and so cozy all winter.

Also, did anyone notice when Steph and Amaury were talking about the dead bushes, Amaury said they should talk to Ombeline about it when she comes back next year? She must be a really good third gardener for Stephanie to keep her on the monthly payroll when she’s not even there. There’s a lot of BS going on in regards to that payroll.

2nd Also, is there no Patreon savings from the last two years except for the lake fund? Around $33,000 a month or so for about 2 years? Plus insane YouTube money, plus other well to do owners Nic & Potty?

WTF?

 

[Le Comte de Monte Cristo]

Being in France...the weather is nice , after a few days of very bad weather..rain the whole day...even worse than The Netherlands..have to say the evenings are very cold and damp..we had to light the woodburners..the internet sucks..i knew this.. but..we had an appointment yesterday to get glassfiberinternet here..it never bothered me before..but it is a nightmare now..i love France..i think i will stay here...nobody can contact me here..but i am almost in the middle of nowhere myself..not able to work or even phone people..just relaxing and having a swim in the pool..have to do a lott of catching up..doesnt matter... sometimes life without internet is better...lotts of love to all of you..

 

[SadSakCat42]

I haven't posted for a while since I have had my attention on other things, but after viewing Stephanie”’s latest Patreon video, I am incensed! This little heating system chat with Amaury was pure FUCKERY! A not-so- subtle lead up to asking for MORE fucking money from her Patrons. I would love to see what they have to say, but considering the simpering fools give her whatever she wants, perhaps it's better that I cant. This woman is pulling in over 30,000 per month and she can't afford a fucking heating system? She claimed she has funds set aside for the Chapel and Lake. We know that fucking Chapel will NEVER get renovated because she has already spent the funds on God knows what. Probably her vacations, shopping trips and strap on Dildo’s to keep her boy toy Snorty happy so he doesn't start bringing home guys he meets at the Charity shop. We also know she has spent a shit losd on money on those stupid gardens. WHY? Why did she hire additional help to maintain these stupid gardens, but won't hire anyone to complete the fucking projects that are piling up? Apparently, Ian isn't coming back, so any work he started is not going to get finished. The only work getting completed is the fucking Marquise apartment which was NEVER on the fucking LIST and that is due to Channel 4 filming! I wonder how her Patrons feel about THEIR money being used for materials and labor for that project, when Amaury was supposed to be working on the Grand Salon. Never mind, they are mindless zombies at this point happily enabling her out of control spending. With utilities, gas and food prices spiraling out of control and people worried and struggling to make ends meet, what a pompous ass she is for even discussing this right now. This delusional Princess who lives in a Chateau, receives over 30,000 euros a month from donations, plus a substantial income in Youtube revenue whining about being cold in the Winter, so.a $300,000 heating system is her only option. FUCK HER! Strap on some hot water bottles and just shuddup!

Sorry, for the F bombs but I was so angry when I watched that damned video I had to vent.

 

[SleepingBeauty123]

I just can’t even keep watching this horrible, terrible person. I’d say this was the best, most Oscar worthy performance of her entire life by acting like she was:

1. Surprised at the estimate of $300k
2. Trying to pretend like it was really going to cost $300k. Was she not going to get a second quote? A 3rd quote? Wtf? Nathan must have seen the word “Sucker” stamped on her forehead. We always get multiple quotes for any big projects and undoubtedly one of them comes in at a crazy high price. Then you can tell who is being honest, and who is trying to rip you off.
3. When I hire contractors I do not go “help” them, as Amaury was shown doing with Nathan when they had their heads together up the fireplace, pulling down insulation. That is why I am paying someone to do the work FOR ME. For $300k, she had better not have Amaury lift one tiny finger to help. He should kick back with his feet up and not have to help at all.
5. Per Amaury. Don’t install it all at once! But it seems like it’s all or nothing with her so she can get her $300k up front and then NEVER INSTALL IT. We have big houses in the suburbs where I live and most of them have 2 air conditioning systems, because one system will not adequately cool down the upstairs bedrooms. Necessary? Nope. Nice to have? Yep. The second system is usually installed at a later point. Install one system at a time to heat each section of the chateau. She should have been doing this over the past 16 years.
6. Who are these master gardeners on her payroll that she just can’t “sack”, even though they can’t tell her why her own plants are dying?
They sound like a “wise” investment when Amaury is the one having to water the plants.
7. Bonus points to Amaury for pointing out on camera that her house has a rising damp problem because she didn’t ever install adequate heating. She looked stupid arguing with him.

I think I’m going to have to stop watching her. This video was just one step too far. What an idiot. Per Phillip’s own captions:

Make It Stop

 

[JackSpratt]

Stupid bitch! Gardens over heat, I bloody give up! Who's going to take bets if this is ever going to happen? Asked husband firstly he's not surprised the chap can't begin until the new year as more or less all the other plumbers he knows (including himself) are fully booked until the end of the year. I then asked what he thought the intitial 'ballpark' figure would be. He said for the whole place at least 300 to 400 thousand euros. He installed one boiler at another chateau and that was 50 thousand just for that. His words 'she has no problems spending money on an ugly vase, or thousands on an unnecessary garden, so why go into panic mode over something important like the heating'. Pavilina on the payroll now then. Talk of what if it all comes to an end. Is she thinking of doing a cut and run? Oh and will someone gag the tit in the beanie once and for all before pressing record! Bonjour, I'm off to work!

 

[OhIDontKnow...]

Email #3353
From: All Opera Singers Ever
RE: Your Singing
Dear Ms Jarvis:

While we know you told Channel 4 you are a former opera singer, we would respectfully ask that you no longer refer to yourself as such. We, um, heard you sing.

Kind regards,

Everyone

 

[Clara Burnett]

"Time to say Goodbye" seemed prophetic especially since his lady love mocked him by sharing this singing bit (feral cats in my neighborhood yowled btw) .
Between the ill fated gift shop & this video , its definitely time to say goodbye. My other take away she was noting 4 gardeners on the payroll yet asking strangers aka patreons what caused the bushes to die.

I personally, like many of you, loath Snorts and don't wish any of his singing mania on anyone. I am however way more concerned that his girlfriend finds it hilarious to make him look like an amateur, an incompetent idiot, in front of the people that are paying her bills. That's the kind of evil he hopes to marry one day.

 

[Trengilly]

Well, well, well… so we got some heating (mis)information. Now pray tell me why it has taken until the turn of June/July to get a heating quote, just one? She has been deliberately stalling this urgent project in the hopes that we’d forget about the heating.
Stephanie could quite easily afford the heating repair cost if she used her own YouTube revenue and BnB income towards the cost, but instead she opts not to preferring to use it as her spending money. When will her militia learn that they are footing the bill for her renovations and she contributes nothing to the structural integrity or utilities? She is truly a deceptive person who has no scruples.
The whole quote from Amaury was a staged production. How many stuttering takes, requests for lines, hairline touch-ups for Phyllis before settling on the ghastly beanie, or script revisions did that take? Throughout Act 1 Stephanie was making excuses as to why the current heating was acceptable “the low temperature keeps the damp at bay” “previously water was running down the walls of the petite Salon before the heating went in” etc… Rest assured my Tartlets she will not be getting heating anytime soon. She has got those log burners in to remedy the situation and will stop there. One in the Marquis’s sitting room (which until now they haven’t used), the entrance hall and most importantly her boudoir (where only Phyllis, the pet monkey and the Grand high bitch herself hide away - not to benefit anybody else - typical shocking behaviour).
Another point, six visits from Nathan - no footage of which has been shown until last week (odd considering that the heating is a renovation goal for patreons - surely something important to document). Six visits and still no official quote - I smell a rat. I have aside hustle of flipping houses with my Mother and we deal with this electricity and central heating BS a lot as we buy old properties. If it took a tradesman six visits before giving me a written fully costed quote I’d be going with another contractor. Don’t waste my time with inefficiency.
The trouble with Stephanie Jarvis is that she lies all too often you just haven’t a hope in working out what is real and what is not. Sad state of affairs.

Those four shrubs have been like that for quite some time - brown to the main stem and they didn’t think to ask their highly skilled new gardener? Deflection tactics from the issue at hand - the misuse of Patreon funds. Filling time and trying to engage a response with her militia.

And the singing…. gobsmacked at that car-crash.

Where are the association accounts for 2020 and 2021? What are you hiding Stephanie?

 

[Jules100]