The advice thread for random problems

[watermelon sugar]

On WhatsApp? You can’t see anything on WhatsApp

tbf you didn’t say it was WhatsApp just that he had blocked you on everything

 

[Snowjoke]

Does anyone know if electric blankets are safe?! i see them sold a lot so I’m assuming they are and maybe I’m being over cautious but I just want opinions before buying. I live alone in a flat with plug in heaters (woooo renting 🫣🫡) and it can get cold when I’m in bed/waking up because there’s no way I’m plugging in those heaters overnight. might be a stupid question idk

I always use one in winter and have had no issues! Beware you will be addicted to the heat

 

[monga]

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I did send a reply and a not very nice one ( not proud of it) and told her to not contact me again but she blocked me after I sent it. but it still played on my mind how the fuck did I get it so wrong so thought I wiould post it here. I feel a lot better now

She’s sounds creepy AF that’s if it even is a woman you did the right thing.

 

[soymilk]

Hi all just want to know if you think I'm overthinking and to forget it or whether my idea is a good one or too much!

Short version: I accidently woke up my friends toddler and he then took forever to go back to sleep meaning his dad missed dinner so I was going to get a voucher for just eat or something so he can have a hot dinner

Long version: I was going round my sisters best friend's house last night to plan her hen do. Another friend was joining us.

I went to my mums beforehand as she lives 10 mins away from sisters BF and it made sense for me to kill 2 birds as it were and not have to go home between working in the office etc. She was winding me up, as she often does, by being a bit of a mug in regards to my sister and she had had a drink which is never good with her.

Anyway I ended up leaving hers to avoid an argument. I had in my head we were meeting at 7 so left at 6:45 got there about 6:55 sat in the car replying to some texts and then rang the doorbell at bang on 7.

This is when I then realise I might have made a mistake. The dog starts barking and then I hear the toddler yell.

BFs husband invites me in. I sit down and he goes up to help with said toddler and swap with BF. On the cross over on the stairs I hear BF say he had just gone off but is awake now

BF comes down and we have a hug and a chat. BF then says other friend is on their way and I realise my error.

We were meant to be meeting at 7:15 not 7. I profusely apologise and BF said it's OK I'm used to your sister (who I have ranted about previously as she is always 30 mins early at least) I said noooooo I just got my times wrong.

When other friend arrives at the right time, they have kids and obvs know not to ring the doorbell!!!! So as they was expecting her at 7:15 the door was ajar ready for her to just walk in

So basically toddler doesn't end up going to sleep until nearly 9pm! And dad missed dinner with us and basically had to eat his pizza cold

My husband was like well BF should have said don't ring the doorbell. I said I shouldn't have been 15 mins early.

Anyway, well done if you have made it this far!!! I was thinking of sending them like £10/£15 just eat voucher or similar with a note apologising and saying treat yourself to some hot pizza?

Am I overthinking and should just leave it? And the voucher is a bit much? Or is that a nice gesture when I woke their kid up? Or will they think "oh dear child free idiot thinks this one bad night was her fault, how silly of her"

imo, I think it's very kind of you to offer/or think of offering but it was an innocent mistake, you weren't to know the child was asleep and you've already apologised - which I think is enough! Maybe apologise again the next time you see her, but that's as far as I'd go.

 

[lurkingaround123]

Hii, i hope im not on wrong thread.
Soo i also talked about this to my friends in Formula 1 Wags thread. There is this one boy at my dads town (my parents are divorced) and my best friend gave me his snap and that how I found him, so i sended him a snap a few times but he just opened it, so i did little digging on his insta ( we all done it at some point before you attack me) and found out that he is also F1 fan, my plan is to post om my private snap story me watching f1 race hoping that he will start snapping me back, my question is Should i do it, is it worth it??? Thank you

When you say you've snapped him a bit before have you been saying things which warrant a response, or something else?
In my opinion it doesn't sound like he's all that interested. You should never feel like you need to go out of your way to subliminally impress a man. Just be yourself and if that's not for him there will be so many other better matches for you out there

 

[WilmaHun]

Well really they shouldn't do that then, it was they that stated they would

If a job states there will be a GUARANTEED interview then sorry but am going expect one, it's not as if am in a city where there's 2000 people applying, am in a small run down town that I doupt they would have had over 30 apply

If there was someone else who met the criteria better than or seemed a better match than you, then it would have been a waste of both their time, and yours for them to interview you. Doesn't matter if there was 2,000 or 30 applications, they're looking for the best match.

 

[Snippysnips]

I've said specifically what i'm doing and he has sort of invited himself along! I don't want to be too blunt with my response, the people pleaser part of me wants to say maybe another time but truthfully i'm not a fan of this person.

I'd just be honest an let them know that what you planned you wanted to do it alone, if you start to give in then before you know it they are inviting themselves to all sorts, best to nip it in the bud now, tbh it's a bit cheeky I feel to just invite yourself to somthing but some people don't bother

 

[Some People!]

Haha, you're so welcome - I'm glad you're persevering!

I think you should let the crap salon know that you won't be back and why - it's cathartic and helpful and might prevent anyone else from receiving that same terrible customer service.

A competent colourist will be able to work with what you've got, no problem. Some [better] highlights & colour/s, good technique, and a willingness to work with you, and you'll be good to go!
Why not have a treatment at the end of it all to take care of any damage and help you draw a line under the experience? Hopefully you'll be feeling fancy in no time.

 

[Blond3g1rl]

Would you guys encourage swimming lessons for an adult who never learnt how to swim?

It’s the waking up early (anything before 12am) my 19 year old sister has the biggest trouble with and the reason she doesn’t want to go. Don’t know if i should keep bugging her about sessions whilst she still has a break from uni or let it drop.

We just have the traditional fan tail goldfishes.

Never had babies so they must all be boys.

Learning to swim could save your life one day. Everyone should have basic swimming skills. I would strongly encourage her to go

 

[JoeBloggs]

We go walking for around an hour four or five times a week. He works at a desk job but works weekends in the family business. I don’t think it’s his actual meals that are the problem. It’s more a combination of a number of things. His portion sizes are very big and often finishes mine if I don’t finish it. He might have four or five pints or more on a Friday and Saturday night and have a takeaway aswell. I made healthy granola bars and prepared fruit and salad for the fridge in April and while he ate them and seemed to enjoy them, the problem was when he went home everything went out the window.
I have no problem supporting him in any way I can as he has mentioned for a while he would like to lose weight but he needs to take ownership of the situation too and I’m unsure how to broach it with him without upsetting him.

I really don’t think a few pints and a takeaway once a week would cause him to gain 2 stone that quickly, especially if this is normal for his family.

Personally from experience I’ve found when other people try and help it makes it worse. He is the only one who can help himself so would just continue to be there, maybe suggest the gym and cook healthy.

 

[Piff paff puff]

Just got my shiny new fridge delivered from argos and the old one uplifted by them at the same time. Will have to do some shopping today now

 

[Blondeangel2515]

Its not your duty to tell, a stranger that they are being cheated on. Its pure revenge. As others have said, He got what he wanted from you, sex and a listening ear without any hassles and drawbacks.

How’s it revenge letting the girl know she’s being cheated on? I know if I was in her situation I would want to know what my partner is doing behind my back

 

[strawb]

I would say it would be better sooner than later for your sister to sit down an chat with him, just the two of them, the longer it's left the more it might end up going into stopping her from seeing friends an such, it's better he knows that although your sister like him there's going be times she will want some time alone with friends an he needs to understand that and that it's OK for people to do that, I get he has trust issues but it isn't good to keep letting those build up

I would talk it over with her in a calm manner. Just explain your concerns, tell her you to want her to be happy, but at least voice your concerns. Tell her you trust her judgement, but just make clear your own observations. Tact and Diplomacy are definitely required so she doesn't get angry or upset with you. Good luck with it all, hope it works out.

You definitely have to say something to her sooner rather than later. I don't want to scare or worry you, but this is exactly how a relative's relationship started, and he became extremely unhinged after a short period (by which time they'd got married as she was convinced he was the perfect man for her). It might start off as being flattering, but soon becomes very obsessive. I'd suggest she puts the brakes on just slightly. She can make her own way to wherever she's going, for a start. Keeping her own set of friends (separate to the relationship) would also be a good idea. My relative can't escape this bad marriage. She's filed the papers but he refuses to sign, and turns up at places he knows she will be at, just sitting in his car and watching. He has a restraining order but ignores it; she calls the police and they tell her they're too busy to attend. It's a bloody nightmare. I hope this doesn't sound like I'm overreacting. Perhaps if you can find out some information about his background that would help determine whether or not there is anything to be concerned about?

thank you so much for responding and @1001 others i'm so sorry to hear your relative is going through something so traumatic! that's exactly what i want to avoid - these things can be flattering and exciting at the beginning but it can turn into an obsession. i just want to make sure i'm careful because i don't want her to feel like she can't tell me things. on checking his background - we live in a very small city where pretty much everyone knows everyone, although he is younger than me. we used to work in the same building, a very long time ago, and he was absolutely lovely. but in the meantime he's been in a relationship that's apparently scarred him. i'm seeing my sister tonight so i'll start by mentioning this casually i think!

 

[Snippysnips]

He’s 30 to be honest I only didn’t block me because I wanted to know if my feeling was correct that I’ll hear from him. I don’t want nothing to do with him now

Tbh it sounds as if he's just doing it to keep you around for whenever he wants to mess about, obviously I don't know him or if he would cheat but from the sounds of it he doesn't sound very loyal to his partners if he's still messaging others when he's in a relationship, it's best to keep guys like that out your life

 

[Poptart]

Help for Hoarders is another charity you can contact for help and support. Please reach out to them or the one posted above.

 

[Purrrrrrr]

But what I am saying is you don’t HAVE to pay for the garden bin, if you don’t want to pay don’t have it. It isn’t forced upon you as a bill, it’s optional, you can opt out.

Too add, I wasn’t actually talking about my council specifically. I deal with a large number of different councils in my job, generally bins are only now free if for recycling. Waste replacements are charged even for new builds.

What I am saying is, why are we now having to pay for things that were part of being a household and a "free" service?

I don’t even understand why this junk Mail thing is even an issue…..! Surely we all get random crap pushed through the letter box - don’t we all just throw it in the bin? Job done. Or collect a pile along with old bank statements, doctors letters, catalogs, etc and just burn it. I’ve never known anyone to have such an issue with a few takeaway menus coming through the letter box!!

I hate junk mail with a passion. If I don't want it why on earth should I have to deal with it? A notice on the door asking people not to put it through the letterbox should be enough. I would also say that if I have a notice then a postman should also abide by it. Why should I have to jump through hoops so that the postman doesn't keep posting crap through my letter box? I did fill in all the forms and still, it kept coming.

While we all just pick it up and bin it, companies will just keep sending it. if a notice on our doors asking them to stop means the postie takes it back and returns it to them, they will then see how many people don't want their crap. , in a time when we have it drilled into us about wasting resources, we should be able to refuse it if we want to. as it is we have no choice

If you want the crap, that's fine you can still receive it many of us don't

 

[Slaybutter]

I just posted this in another thread, but feel maybe I should post it in an advice thread


I lost my( just over a yo ) cat,, Friday morning to a tragic accident due to a dog lead breaking. The D link snapped from the lead and the dog chased and caught my cat probably killing him instantly by breaking his neck as he was unmarked.

I feel very strange about it as feel I spent so much time comforting the dog owners that I neglected myself and my own grief and now that grief isn't coming out.

I feel absolutely no ill will towards the dog or its owners it was just one of those things. I'm just sad that I'm not feeling the sadness I normally would at a time like this. I'm not someone who beats my chest over my pets dying even though I love them dearly, but also I'm not blase about them dying either. . Or could it shock at how the little fella died?

Maybe your time spent consoling the dog owners (you’re a saint, btw) was also the time you processed the loss

 

[or JusRollWithIt]

Definitely sketchers for walking commute. They are light, comfy, supportive, breathe well, good grip, and some sleek styles that don’t look too clunky.

 

[chickhicks86]

Oh gosh @Purrrrrrr that sounds horrendous. Bless you for being there for the dog owners too. Maybe you are feeling a bit detached from it as you weren't witness to what actually happened? At the same time, there's not need to feel guilty about not being absolutely full of grief yourself - maybe it will come, or maybe the grieving had already started when you were talking to the dog's owners. Maybe get back in touch with them (if you want to) in a few days just to talk it through again if you think it would help.

 

[monga]

I think it’s very sensible not to want to meet up with a random person who you only know through a FB page and have only interacted with once or twice a good while ago?

Yet she’s messaging randomers for meet ups / lifts but claimed she wants to avoid isolated spots because of her past when a stranger could easily drive her there