The advice thread for random problems #3

[Snippysnips]

We’ve just had a new extension built and remodelled our kitchen etc to be open plan. The designer decided that removing the door between the living room and the hallway would be good, as the door wouldn’t protrude into the living room. Unfortunately, the building regs inspector has insisted that a fire door is needed and thus the door has to be reinstated. The builders are suggesting that a door is put in place to get the work signed off, but then removed and the walls made good. Leaving aside the safety aspect, I’m concerned that removing the door would invalidate our insurance if we were unlucky enough to have a fire, given that we know it’s a building regs requirement, even if the fire didn’t get anywhere near the door. Has anyone doing a refurb had a similar experience and if so, what did you decide?

Could it be because there's no door closing off the hallway? We have a open plan kitchen with a living area an it's fine but there is a door closing that area off to the hall, I'd imagine they would want the hallway closed off so that in the event of a fire it doesn't spread into the hall an throughout the house compared to if it was closed in on the one area

I'd talk with the insurance, last thing you want is it being void, if insurance says it's fine not having the door then I'd just remove it, but I'd go by their decision since they would be the ones paying out

 

[TheGlossy]

Are they a stone wash or washed/distressed kind of look jean? The process can affect the softer cotton in the pockets making it bobble.

No, they’re not. They’re regular straight leg jeans.

I don’t know I usually buy similar jeans from other brands and I’ve never seen this. The picket usually start to bobble after a couple of washes.

It kind of gives me to ick. They were pretty expensive at that so they should have arrived in perfect condition.

 

[Good Egg]

Thanks for the response. I have no number I can call but I will wait until end of play and email first thing tomorrow instead. I don’t want to come across as this annoying person who keeps emailing but equally need a response...

 

[WeHadFunRight]

Bought furniture village 8 years ago and if it wasn’t for having a cream sofa and children it would look brand new - cushions and seat pads still in excellent condition.

 

[Snippysnips]

Thanks, I never know if ghosting is the right thing to do but in this case I can’t see an alternative

Unfortunately sometimes it's for the best, you have to put yourself first an if things have gotten bad then you have to think if it's going to be worth it an if it's going to affect your mental health then it's best to just leave it be, am sure she will move on as well

 

[stargirl23]

Can anyone help me regarding a hen party? Do you have to get everyone a gift bag?

I’m maid of honour and it’s a night away with hotel, travel and activities. I’ve also paid for the bride. I’ve paid for card games, accessories for bride to wear etc and everything is adding up quickly! If I have to get gift bags it’s going to be a lot of money as there will be 16 people. It’s really making me worry as we don’t have loads of spare money.

We’re also paying to travel, hotel stop for the actual wedding plus of course wedding gift and everything else involved.

Please someone tell me I’m not a tight arse for not wanting to do gift bags? Or if I am being tight can someone please give me suggestions of what I could give people?

We didn’t have any gifts at my cousins hen, as we all paid for food/drink/activities etc on the day as well as paying for the bride

 

[JoeBloggs]

We’ve changed the bedding together today which is unusual as we normally do it solo whilst the other fights for their life with the toddler. It’s caused a bit of a tiff, so I’m putting it to the internet to decide who is right:

On your duvet there are usually seams running across the length to break it into quarters; should they be horizontal or vertical on the bed?

It depends where the label is.

 

[Pinhead Larry]

What do you think is a normal amount to spend on bills per month? We currently have a joint income of just under 80k, which works out at about £4300 per month after all taxes etc. at the moment we put £600 each in to the joint account and it covers all bills with a little money to spare. We want to move somewhere bigger and more suburban, but the mortgages are looking to be around £1600 on their own, so I imagine we’d be paying just over £1k each including bills, which is obviously a lot more but then we’d have a garden and more space, and be somewhere a bit quieter (currently live in the city centre) I was originally looking at it thinking I used to rent a flat and paid around £1000 per month for just rent and parking, so it’s not that bad but I am not sure if I’m being silly

sorry for this massive ramble

 

[littlepup]

She's 7, I work part time whilst she's at school and honesty my work is the only place i enjoy being rn

I know it’s not the same but there’s lots of things you can do at that age together that she’ll enjoy but are really about you. And you could definitely take her to a family friendly pub.
What are your interests?
Are there any weekend classes she can go to that she can be left at to give you an hour free when your friends are free? Horse riding, ballet/dance, gymnastics etc. Maybe look for some all day one offs like drama workshops to give you a full day.

It’s absolute shite when you’re stuck in a rut and feel unfulfilled or stuck doing things that you have zero interest in for the sake of your child. If it’s a general unhappiness and disconnect from life it could be depression, seeing a doctor might help. But if it’s simply monotony causing boredom then mixing it up to make it more your cup of tea and to give you a little time to yourself should help x

 

[Lizziebox]

Hello anyone. Hope this is the right place to post this. Does anyone use domestic cleaning services? I feel very embarrassed about this, but I really struggle to keep my home clean, and so I was looking at hiring a cleaner to come maybe once a month to do some deep cleaning. I'm not sure though - I feel embarrassed and I'm also not sure how normal this would be? Does anyone else regularly use cleaning services? Are they worth it? Is it expensive? Are they discreet or will your entire neighbourhood know you have a team over? Is it safe?

Hello, I’ve been meaning to reply to your post all day.. I’ve not used a cleaner but always envy people that do as I would love a cleaner!! The way I would think though is don’t be embarrassed, do your research and find someone you are happy with & maybe ask they don’t use your home for their socials advertising? Also they will appreciate the work especially if they are self employed. Good luck!

 

[klarakluckbag]

Folks, have come home from hospital destroyed with residue from the tape they used for the cannula, IV lines etc. I’ve scrubbed my skin raw to no avail. Anything I might have laying around the house (or could get in supermarket) that might sort it out? My arms and chest are wrecked!

Alcohol hand gel will get rid of dressing glue. Just soak a cotton wool pad with it, then hold it on the glue and rub (gently!), the residue should come away from your skin easily.
Don't waste your vodka!

 

[becca7721]

No friends since they tried to help by getting me support from mental health and got told to provide it themselves. Last time they made contact they were told I’m fine and just lazy, which is a load of rubbish and I ended up losing that friend altogether. Family contact isn’t appropriate (long story).
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My physical needs too are being ignored.

 

[Snippysnips]

Breach of GDPR is reported to the ICO. I would write to the director of the care home and explain that handing out private data falls foul of UK GDPR and unless something is done immediately to stop your dad being harassed on his days off you will report them to the information commissioner’s office - but also warn them that they must train their staff correctly so that people understand that they can’t hand out someone’s bloody address willy nilly. Bunch of wankers.

Thanks, I'll look them up an try an get a formal letter sent to them, I honest to god hope they haven't been giving out residents addresses either, there's many in there with partners still living at home that may be vulnerable, I'd be sickened to know that staff were showing up to their homes to ask for money or something, not everyone these days are honest people

 

[Mamacita]

Can't really give too much detail but always wanting a hug from me, kept kissing my neck when hugging, took a strong disliking to my boyfriend within the last year out of no where, is very bossy and it's his way or no way (for example cutting our hedge when it doesn't need doing).
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Our houses are the exact same layout, so when I'm walking across the landing they can hear it. I can hear when they've stepped into the bathroom as you have to step down. It's honestly so bizarre and I already feel on edge living here because of the neighbour, and now this has started again since he's moved back in. Maybe I'm just thinking too much into it but it's all too coincidental, especially as it has started again since he's moved back in with his wife.

I feel like you're maybe paranoid. Like how would they know it's you going to the toilet, not your boyfriend? You mentioned it doesn't happen when your boyfriend goes

 

[littlepup]

I of course meant advice and online help, not actual help me lol (though if someone had a magic wand I wouldn't say no at this point in time)
I will try elaborate tomorrow as its been an incredibly overwhelming day which iv spent the majority of sobbing.!!
(I'm 31 and aware I need to get a grip of myself )

As above, and thank you for taking the time to reply to me.

Speak to Shelter charity. Sorry to hear you’re having a shitty time x

 

[MsGilmore]

Has anyone used a home teeth whitening kit and would recommend something? I looked in the mirror today and was quite ashamed at how yellow my teeth are at the moment

I got something called ‘my sweet smile’ from Amazon. It kept popping up on Facebook and the comments said that it was good so I decided to try it! It’s a powder that you brush with for 4 minutes.
I do think it has made a difference, but I think I have lost a lot of enamel from brushing my teeth too hard over the years. They also left the glue on my teeth when they removed my fixed braces as a teenager so any remaining glue is now discolored too. So it’s not as straight forward with my teeth as I would like it to be!

 

[stargirl23]

Does he have a HR he could report to or higher management not within his workplace? Or tbh he’d be within his rights to call the police with random people turning up at his home address which he’s not given permission to or consented to his address being given out

 

[Snippysnips]

You’re welcome glad you found your style

Thanks, looks like perhaps the models are wearing something under it to make it flare out like that, an images are being photoshopped so wondering if I do manage to get one how easy it will be to put something under it on the coat to make it that way

 

[Blondeangel2515]

I'm aware the case was closed, I can read. But if you are thinking of messaging AGAIN after your warnings then you are not only a dangerous person with too much time but you will find yourself in some kind of legal dispute.
I think you want some kind of validation from other people about what you've done because you think you're a saint for telling the girl and her family. It's none of her family's business until she tells them and you stepped way out of place hunting them down to tell them. You probably need some kind of therapy after this, it's unhealthy and obsessive.

But I won’t be messaging again because he won’t be messaging me again I don’t need validation from anyone because I know I did the right thing and anyone in the situation would want to know their boyfriend is messaging someone about babies etc. you may see it as stepping out of line, I didn’t hunt them down, they were on her profile public so I messaged. you can call me all this and that that’s your opinion but I’m not asking for validation if you can read then you would of seen all I’ve said is it’s hilarious what they said when it’s only half the truth and clearly it’s fine what I done because the police woman thought it was fine behaviour and closed the case and told him not to message me again if that’s me needing validation then you clearly need to look it up because I’m not asking for that I’m just venting how stupid it is when I have prove they know I have

 

[chickhicks86]

I have no idea what to do next with my car. It is a 2014 plate, Insignia, my partner chose it but it's actually in my name. It's got loads of modifications which were there when we bought it. He's had a few scuffs in it, scratches all over the front corners and there's a dent in the back bumper. There's also an electrical fault where the car occasionally (more frequently now) goes into 'limp mode' which leads to the car going dangerously slow on the slightest incline, or gradually reducing speed when driving above 50mph, requiring the engine to be restarted for it to temporarily resolve the issue. We've thrown £500 for a company to check it out and replace a valve in the engine which hasn't fixed the issue. We'd need to pay additional £50 for further investigation and then further money for more work to be done (and even then there's no guarantee it will fix the issue. As they have no idea what is causing the issue!!) In addition to this, the cam belt is due to be replaced, and the clutch is sticking. Plus all the cosmetic work needs to be done and we have been quoted over £1000.
Basically the car is slowly failing (as cars do) but I don't think the work needed is worth it and we are looking to get rid of it.
It is on finance, I have approx £2k left to pay on it which is about 2 yrs left. I'm interested in hearing what others would do in my situation. Sell it? We were going to go with We buy any car but tbh we'd probably not get very much for it.

That's a kick in the teeth when you still owe on it in finance. Can you take any of the mods off to sell and try and recoup some of what you still owe? Have you tried looking on forums / Reddit / Facebook groups for the particular model to see if there are any common faults that might be an easy fix?