Tattle Turds #2

[Ena Sharples]

I'm here for a bit.
Just caught up on the MT.....
Went for a swim this morning, heading out later and this time I get to properly dress up! Heels and everything!

Are you going out out?

Have a wonderful time!! Xx

 

[Caitlyn130]

Are you going out out?

Have a wonderful time!! Xx

Yes we're going out out! In Central London and everything, lol! x
Hope you're surviving the MT

 

[Ena Sharples]

I'm just catching up, so interesting to read everyone's hobbies and stuff! I also love Lush I actually just got a body scrub from there and it's amazing. I put it on dry then rinse it off in the shower. I was gushing about it the other day (sorry) to the person in Lush saying it's the best thing I've ever bought for my body. I'm going to Lush today funnily enough to get a bubble bar for later.

My hobby is a very niche style of dance, called locking. I've been doing it for ten years but dancing for much longer. It's a shame I can't link to any of my own videos, but these guys, Hilty and Bosch, are two of my favourites.
It's a really funky, characterful dance but technically harder than it looks. I was in a hip hop dance company for a while based at the Barbican, which was extremely stressful. We had 12 hour rehearsal days and I didn't really enjoy the style of dance too much. I lasted a couple of years and then left. I'm much happier now I just do locking and tap. I also love swimming and usually go 2-3 times a week, but we have the London Aquatic Centre on our doorstep so we're really lucky there.

I totally relate to @enasharples and @GoLibrarianPoo about feeling unheard in the past and finding my voice. This is something I've only started to do very recently. There are/were a couple of people in my life who seemed to think it was okay to tell me what to do, tell me I was wrong for what I was feeling. I was constantly invalidated. Over small things as well as big things. One of my problems was that I used language that gave them the 'okay' to 'negotiate' with me.

For example, a very small thing - one person and I were walking through Covent Garden a while ago, and he was going full speed ahead. I literally broke out in a sweat trying to keep up with him. I asked him to slow down. He said 'this isn't fast'. I said 'it's fast to me, I can't keep up'. He said 'yes you can'. I said 'please, slow down'. Now I've learnt to quickly identify my boundary (I am going to walk at this speed) and communicate it ("You can walk that fast if you want, I'll see you in a bit when I'm caught up.")

The same with my diet. I avoid certain things because it's easier to maintain my weight that way. I've sat at dinner tables and declined something and people have started with 'is that all you're gonna eat?' or my favourite, from my 300-lb aunt 'you can eat that, it's not bad for you'. My response is to explain why I don't eat that, but all that does it open it up for debate. Now I don't explain. I simply say 'I don't discuss my diet'. And shut it down. I don't even say 'actually, I'd prefer not to discuss my diet'. It's too soft. I have to be firm. I've taken enough tit over the years.

It's still a learning process for me and sometimes I'm not very good at it. But I spent so long trying and trying to explain my feelings and defend myself, only to feel like I was being totally ignored. Then I realised I don't owe anyone an explanation. If I don't eat x, I don't eat x, and don't need anyone's approval!

@Bastion I'm glad you have ACAS on the case, that sounds shady AF.

Your dance style looks amazing and so much energy. I love that you are standing up for yourself and what is good for you. I need to knock some weight off, do you follow a specific diet?

I think I’ve found my voice now and might now need to learn how to shut up again

Yes we're going out out! In Central London and everything, lol! x
Hope you're surviving the MT

How lovely have an amazing time!

I think I may have opened a bag of worms in the MT xx

 

[Caitlyn130]

Your dance style looks amazing and so much energy. I love that you are standing up for yourself and what is good for you. I need to knock some weight off, do you follow a specific diet?

I think I’ve found my voice now and might now need to learn how to shut up again

My history with body image and weight is quite complex so I wouldn't necessarily advise doing anything I do, lol! I lost about 40lbs in my mid-twenties going from the higher end of my BMI to the lower end. I have kept it all off. I eat most things, but I am very strict about eating only 3 times a day and I always eat at the table or away from any technological distractions. My problem was never a specific food or my weight, it was using eating for the wrong reasons. Food should be food, not fun, or stress relief, or a friend. I alternated strict dieting with eating all the junk I could get my hands on.

Unfortunately obesity is very common in my family and I didn't grow up with the best eating habits - my mum cooked huge portions of really stodgy foods (then screamed at me for being fat (I wasn't) and made me go to WW). I will always have to watch myself around food and be vigilant. My fiancé is 6'3 and lean and eats whatever he wants. He never seems to have a problem controlling himself around delicious foods. I mean, I know I bring this up often but how can you have chocolate in the cupboard for days without eating it?! It's too much temptation for me, so I'll have the chocolate, but at the table, as dessert. So I don't restrict myself in terms of what I eat, but I keep it in its proper place, at mealtimes.

 

[Ena Sharples]

My history with body image and weight is quite complex so I wouldn't necessarily advise doing anything I do, lol! I lost about 40lbs in my mid-twenties going from the higher end of my BMI to the lower end. I have kept it all off. I eat most things, but I am very strict about eating only 3 times a day and I always eat at the table or away from any technological distractions. My problem was never a specific food or my weight, it was using eating for the wrong reasons. Food should be food, not fun, or stress relief, or a friend. I alternated strict dieting with eating all the junk I could get my hands on.

Unfortunately obesity is very common in my family and I didn't grow up with the best eating habits - my mum cooked huge portions of really stodgy foods (then screamed at me for being fat (I wasn't) and made me go to WW). I will always have to watch myself around food and be vigilant. My fiancé is 6'3 and lean and eats whatever he wants. He never seems to have a problem controlling himself around delicious foods. I mean, I know I bring this up often but how can you have chocolate in the cupboard for days without eating it?! It's too much temptation for me, so I'll have the chocolate, but at the table, as dessert. So I don't restrict myself in terms of what I eat, but I keep it in its proper place, at mealtimes.

That seems like a really good way to eat. I might give that a go. I’ve been working from home for nearly 2 years and snack way too much. When I used to go in to work I took lunch and maybe some fruit to eat if I got the munchies. Now I wake up with the munchies and go to bed with them too.

 

[Caitlyn130]

That seems like a really good way to eat. I might give that a go. I’ve been working from home for nearly 2 years and snack way too much. When I used to go in to work I took lunch and maybe some fruit to eat if I got the munchies. Now I wake up with the munchies and go to bed with them too.

I find that as long as I don't restrict stuff in general, like calories or types of foods, then it's fairly easy just to wait until the next meal, it's something to look forward to.

 

[clarkees]

Guess everyone else has a life at the weekend

I had to walk my stinky hound for a long while today as I’ve been so busy at work she’s just had 1 hour walks all week but it is FREEZING out today. Still, she made a mad dash for every puddle and even a huge pond at one point anybody want a dog???

 

[Ena Sharples]

On the most recent Royal Family thread there was a nice discussion on tiaras, if anyone was looking for a bit of light relief. Some nice photos posted too.

I had to walk my stinky hound for a long while today as I’ve been so busy at work she’s just had 1 hour walks all week but it is FREEZING out today. Still, she made a mad dash for every puddle and even a huge pond at one point anybody want a dog???

Nothing like that steaming wet dog smell!

 

[Just William]

Hi you lovely turds!

Some random replies, been skimming, forgive me for not doing my usual War & Peace length posts! I heard that collective sigh of relief!

@TicTacToc - that's so sweet of you to say, thank you.
I have always tried to respond to everyone but this will be my last as I'm gonna call it a day as I just can't keep up, it takes too much mental energy, so in future I will just pop in & out & reply to what I can see instead of going back thru' lots of pages!

I hope you are feeling much better? What a nightmare for you, breaking down in the middle of a motorway, I really hope you didn't have to wait too long to get help & I hope it doesn't cost a fortune to put right? xxx


@Bastion - I'm so sorry for the tit your workplace is putting you through. Bastards. Shame on them. I really hope this can be resolved in your favour very soon? I'm also very sorry to hear about your anxieties, but glad you have meds that are helping you feel so much better.
Take care. xxx


@Magpierainbow - I'm glad you feel more at peace about your dear friend & I do believe he will be at peace & receiving lots of love, care & support from spirit.

That Adele 'Hello' spoof was just hilarious, I loved it, sooo clever & she has a great voice! It made me laugh so much! I'm gonna watch it again, & again, haha!

I love your imaginative post intros! You mentioned a fave film of mine - Kill Bill, Volume 2 was on TV Fri (imo the best of the two) Uma Thurman was fantastic! I also love Pulp Fiction! So funny at times in a very dark way! I adore Vincent & Jules especially!
Look after yourself. xxx

@GoLibrarianPoo
Thanks, I get on my own tits so much! Sometimes I wonder how people put up with me because I can be hard work and pretty annoying -
It's a bit of a double kick in the teeth from the universe to be able to unintentionally annoy people and not be able to stop it but be self aware enough to know it and then I give myself a kick because it's never a happy line of thought and I don't want to keep following it, it's unhelpful -
Silencio Bruno!

Lol, I'm so glad it's not just me! YES on timing stuff right when cooking, that doesn't help with my hating it, ha! Twin turds, see! Cooking & dishes after, just NO! I don't have a dishwasher, though I could do with one as I end up with a dish mountain too often!
Not really got space for one, I would have to lose a cupboard just to have one of the smaller ones! My kitchen is tiny but that's ok by me as I hate cooking, lol! Doggie bag of your delicious cinnamon buns please!

You're right about age as my friends are a mixture; some older, some younger, some close in age to me. The lovely friend I gave all my crafty bits to was only 17 when we met 5 years ago & we just hit it off. She's a truly beautiful soul, inside & out.

I can get drawn to people even somewhere like here as I pick up 'vibes'! Take care twin turd! xxx

Have a great evening @Caitlyn130! xxx

@Ena Sharples - I love graveyards too & reading all the inscriptions.
Totally agree that there is more to fear from the living.
And a hard YES I can't stand cruelty to animals, children (& the elderly) makes my bleeping blood boil. xxx


@Bastion -

Spoiler: suicide

I've not heard of the band you mentioned Frightened Rabbit but I will look into them. I am so sorry that Scott Hutchison took his own life.
So many wonderful souls who help so many others through their music but suffer themselves & succumb to suicide.

I understand how you feel. I FIL with the early music of US metal band Linkin Park & the amazing voice of co-song writer/lead singer Chester Bennington & became a huge fan. I had never heard song lyrics so full of pain, rage, shame, & his voice & screams gave me goose bumps.
They still do. Chester was a survivor of CSA & turned to drugs/alcohol to numb the pain. He also suffered from depression & spoke openly about it. He helped so many fans with his songs & beautiful voice which told them he understood their pain. It's that the love so many felt for him wasn't enough to save him. He was a truly beautiful soul but sadly committed suicide 20/7/2017. He was just 41. I hope you don't mind me sharing two beautiful videos of him singing right in amongst the fans. He left a huge & beautiful legacy behind.
They still make me cry & the 2nd one is especially poignant.

ETA - just seen that @Penguin86 is a fan too! Hope you're feeling ok today dear xxx

Sorry for all the posts I have missed but hope you understand, just don't have the mental energy due to my fatigue. To those lovely turds wishing me well & hoping I get another appt soon, thanks I got a letter - new appt for neurology 8th Feb @ 9am. Then on 11th Feb I have my post Op check up, only 5 months after the fact!

Sending love & hugs to you all - xxx

 

[House of Tea]

I went to Brighton for the day. I haven’t been walking much recently due to sore knees, but today they felt more normal. So walked 6.5 miles. I am so happy to be on the move at last. It could have been brighter, and it was nippy, but I wrapped up warm and just enjoyed people watching and the sea air. Found a nice cafe for lunch, sat next to two delightful dogs. A nice weekend after a couple of months of really shite ones. And my husband is cooking my dinner. And I have wine later. Simple pleasures…

 

[M33L4]

I painted this today, it’s for my party planning business. Didn’t pop out any more babies today, I think this is a first.

 

[CookieMonsta]

Well I tried changing the name but the mods changed it back to turds

If the person was ugly it was me

You're the prettiest penguin I know.

I really didn't want to offend Tootler for their post it just seems like diagnosing others/self diagnosing with ADHD is the trendy thing to do lately. The reality is it can be so debilitating and take a major toll on your self esteem. I still have a lot of self doubt especially when conversing. I've been thinking lately I want to get some speech coaching so that I can be a more confident speaker, get to the point more easily, and not feel so self conscious when I'm talking. There are so many different elements to it, it can be hard to unpick them all.

I have some horrible, horrible memories of the couple of years before I was diagnosed when things got really bad. I ended up homeless at one point, sleeping on a friend's couch because I couldn't hold down a job to pay my rent. I found a new job and held it together for a bit. The friend then abruptly turned on me after the guy she liked said he liked me , and she kicked me out and threatened to dump all my stuff on the pavement outside if I didn't collect it in 24 hours. Luckily my aunt came to the rescue and I stayed in my cousin's old room for a while until I saved up enough to move into a houseshare. Just after that, I was fired. Luckily I found a job I liked, enough to stick around, and things got better from there but it wasn't without its challenges. Come to think of it, the fact that I pulled it together, undiagnosed, after sinking to rock bottom, makes me feel pretty proud. But what a dark time.

I mostly kept my struggles from other people, especially when I got the negative reactions from those closest to me of 'there's nothing I can do/say, you just have to get on with it' and sensing the clear irritation they had over my situation. And the questions of 'how have you managed to not do x / get yourself into this mess?' reinforcing that my mental health was my fault. But aside from the stress other people felt when I reached out to them, I somehow managed to not hurt other people.

Then you have Alice.

You've done bloody brilliantly with your life and you should be really proud of yourself.

 

[Katie8ee]

I'm here! I went a walk around the village it was really busy with tourists/weekenders which is a bit random for mid January picked up a load of free goodies at the community larder. Lots of fresh veg and even some sourdough. Apart from that it's been crime and crosswords

Just tried to catch up on MT, have to admit I gave up. I have never been on tattle for daft arguments. Mega kudos to those of you still running the gauntlet over there

@Penguin86 how is the heartburn?

 

[Penguin86]

@Katie8ee not as rough but still there a little. Someone suggested drinking a fizzy drink because of the bubbles and its helped a tad. Im eating brownie m&ms which is probably a mistake haha

 

[Katie8ee]

@Katie8ee not as rough but still there a little. Someone suggested drinking a fizzy drink because of the bubbles and its helped a tad. Im eating brownie m&ms which is probably a mistake haha

That probably is a mistake but yum! I know this is an obvious question but you did drink milk/milkshake didn't you?

@Caitlyn130 I meant to say your dress is beautiful, have a magical night

 

[CookieMonsta]

I asked for 100mg and 50mg meds because taking 3 50mg tablets is really difficult. Especially as they give me heartburn sometimes. They sent me....50mgs and not enough tablets either. I threw the box across the room in a hissy fit because I'm so fed up right now.


And now im embarrassed because the 100mg turned up an hour later in a seperate box

Don't be hard on yourself Penguin. Mistakes with meds can be quite frightening because you know you need them and rely on them, and you probably also know how hard life can get if you can't get them for any reason.

 

[Penguin86]

That probably is a mistake but yum! I know this is an obvious question but you did drink milk/milkshake didn't you?

@Caitlyn130 I meant to say your dress is beautiful, have a magical night

I did try milk. I tried antacids. Touch wood *knocks on head* it appears to be going. I think I need to do a steam to clear my chest in general. Thank you for trying to help

Don't be hard on yourself Penguin. Mistakes with meds can be quite frightening because you know you need them and rely on them, and you probably also know how hard life can get if you can't get them for any reason.

Yeah i never realised how unstable I was without them before. I was a crying wreck without them

 

[Katie8ee]

I did try milk. I tried antacids. Touch wood *knocks on head* it appears to be going. I think I need to do a steam to clear my chest in general. Thank you for trying to help


Yeah i never realised how unstable I was without them before. I was a crying wreck without them

That's OK! Just want you to feel better. It's medicines way of laughing at us I think here take these drugs to make you better let's just not discuss the first four weeks of side effects

I'm watching an interview with the Captain of the Toronto Homicide department. All I can think is that he's fit (I think it's more his authority I like) that the kind of crazy tit that goes on in my head

 

[CookieMonsta]

I've had a think about it this afternoon, and I'm gonna disappear for a while. I'm not even going to lurk on the MT for now. I said I would do this the other day when everything kicked off, and I think I should have followed through.
I'm starting to get paranoid about what people think of me, and worry that I'm generally disliked after being critical of BW (that's not a plea for anyone to jump in and say otherwise, just how I feel). People who agreed with my sentiments the other day have now posted seemingly taking it back, so it still feels that there's only peace as long as people don't insult Bianca. I've also just seen a post that's quite aggressive, telling people who said something similar to what I said earlier to duck off.
I think it's now affecting my MH. I just tried to take a nap but couldn't because I was worrying about all this. The vibe has just never gone back to normal after the other day and I still feel like I'm treading on eggshells, and people are still being snipey towards any posts that even hint at something negative about Bianca, and at the same time talking about how kind we are on the thread. It's all a little odd.
I'll see you all as soon as I'm feeling a bit better. X

I'm a bit reluctant to talk about BW on the MT now. I had a very negative reaction to her MS video which made me feel really guilty. Re-watching it I realised she reminds me of an ex friend who was incredibly sadistic - lovely on the surface but a real snake in the grass who damaged everyone around her, and enjoyed doing it. Something about BW reminds me of her - maybe it's just the Greek heritage BW seems to share, they look a little similar, and the way she talks. BW might be lovely, she might genuinely be literal sunshine, but watching that video I had such a strong reaction against her(which I know very well might be totally my own bias.) But there are a lot of people on the MT who are fans of BW and you can't post anything questioning her without them over-reacting. Now you can't even question the people around her like TD, without people complaining.

The feel in the thread has definitely changed and it saddens me. There was such good humour, camaraderie and support, and now it's like some people have taken sides and don't want anything discussed that might show their side in a bad light. Like you I'm starting to worry that my comments are not welcome and that I'm walking on eggshells. I'll miss you Caitlyn. I hope you will still visit and post here. Especially about the move and when the bub arrives, and just in general.

 

[Ena Sharples]

I'm here! I went a walk around the village it was really busy with tourists/weekenders which is a bit random for mid January picked up a load of free goodies at the community larder. Lots of fresh veg and even some sourdough. Apart from that it's been crime and crosswords

Just tried to catch up on MT, have to admit I gave up. I have never been on tattle for daft arguments. Mega kudos to those of you still running the gauntlet over there

@Penguin86 how is the heartburn?

I’m intrigued, what’s a community larder? And what crime are you watching/ reading? Rather than committing!