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MyrtleRV

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Ok recap… 😉

Stacey, despite having had Opal Fruit over 2 weeks ago seems to not be leaving the bedsit very much at all and instead spends most of her time staring at the baby. This is backed up by the almost daily pictures of Rose in varying states of slumber and Stacey constantly declaring how perfect she is/how she can’t stop looking at her/how she’s so wonderful, you get the gist. She’s also confirmed what we all already knew by basically announcing that Rose, the daughter she’s always wanted, is by far her favourite child and how she’s never been so happy or felt so good after giving birth before. 😳

It does seem that Stace has developed some form of post-natal amnesia as she seems to have forgotten the fact she has three other children to varying degrees, although they do make some rare appearances for opportune photo moments, the latest being a Halloween scene. This photo itself caused quite a stir as, amongst other things, Leighton was found to be able to time travel and be both with his father, step mum and other family whilst simultaneously sitting in Stacey’s garden at Pickle Cottage, bashing the shit out of a plastic pumpkin. Stacey also felt the need to announce to all that she’s still wearing sanitary towels (she’s not long had a baby dontcha know!) and Zach appeared as if from nowhere, having not being seen for days (on the ‘gram at least) but mysteriously barefoot despite the location being woodland in October. There were also several costume changes by both Stacey and Joe, all in shades of orange, whilst the older boys were wearing horrific Halloween themed jumpers about four sizes too big for them. Rex of course donned his obligatory name labelled clothes. It’s probably best to not go into too much detail as to what what Rose was wearing, but it’s fair to say it wasn’t good. All in all idyllic family scene it was not! 😳😆

That aside, since Stacey’s barely moved her arse off the bed it’s been fairly quiet, for Stacey at least. Her new clothing and tat range have arrived in Primark, but sadly Stacey hasn’t been able to see them in store as yet as, well, who knows? Apparently breastfeeding is now a disability and so she’s unable to do much else although both Joe and Rex and sister Skeletor and Rex have been deployed to check out the merchandise, presumably as Rex is so recognisable he will attract attention and therefore more sales.

In other news there’s been hide nor hair of the Annexe lads, apart from the fleeting photo appearances mentioned previously and it appears that the arrival of Opal Fruit has just bumped them even further down the importance list. With Leighton now with his father it’s more than likely Zach will be left fending for himself with no more than a stash of Pot Noodles for company, still, it’s infinitely preferable to having to spend time with his mother who insists on embarrassing him at every possible opportunity. 🤦‍♀️

Last but not least there’s huge controversy as to when the infamous pumpkin picking occurred. The date Stacey states it happened (3rd October) has been proven a lie as the farm itself had to close two sites due to the car parks being waterlogged so it’s now unclear as to when the Swollomon/Skeletor clan went traipsing through the muddy fields inappropriately dressed. What’s also uncertain is whether she was still pregnant when they did go and indeed when the baby was actually born, although Stacey insists that she arrived on her birthday. 🤨

A bit of a convoluted and lengthy recap there, sorry, but then again it’s me so what do you expect?! 🤷‍♀️😆 I guess the easiest (and shortest) way to put it is Stacey lies and Opal Fruit’s her favourite!! 😆😆😆
 
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jackolantern

VIP Member
Stacey Solomon #51 Squinting her eyes to relate to her huns, can someone remind her she still has 3 sons?
 
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MyrtleRV

VIP Member
Roll up, roll up, welcome to Swollomon’s Circus and amazing magic show! Be prepared to look on in awe as you experience wonders that you have never seen the like of before, for all your senses to be stimulated and for you to come away utterly amazed and exhilarated, knowing you’ve been witness to something oh so very special! 🎪

Highlights include:

The great unwashed and human milk machine Stacey! Truly a marvellous sight, she defies the laws of nature by constantly providing milk for her child. But beware, this spectacle can get a little overwhelming (especially on a hot day!) so prepare yourself (and your nose) for something you’ve not come across before!🤢😉

Tango Man the human wotsit! Never before will you have seen a man so orange! From the top of his head to the tip of his toes (don’t worry, he keeps his clothes on!) Tango Man practically glows in the dark, surely a sight not to be missed! 🎃

Zach and Leighton the mysterious annexe boys! Rarely seen and even more rarely talked about, these two older offspring have slowly dropped down the pecking order as other children and partners have arrived. Observe them in their natural annexe habitat for the first time in history! 👏

Mad Mick, the feral terror! Marvel at the trail of destruction that such a small person can create! Not to be missed, Mad Mick is like a human Tasmanian Devil as he manically crashes and bangs his way around a room! 🤩

And last but by definitely no means least;

Opal Fruit the baby with the amazing colour changing eyes! Blue one moment, brown the next, just what is the real eye colour of this small human?! The only way to find out is to come see for yourself! 👀

So there you are and with only limited spaces available the Swollomon Circus is truly an experience not to be missed! Come and get your tickets today and don’t be left feeling like you’ve missed out on something never seen before!

😂😂😂
 
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jackolantern

VIP Member
Can’t fucking bare women who act like they are mother bloody Theresa for breastfeeding. Get off your fucking high horse, you are no better than any other mother who feeds her baby. I’d rather see a bottle fed baby whose mother actually spends time with her 3 other neglected has beens, washes them and doesn’t mock them all over social media than this unfounded virtue signalling.

We get it, she’s attached at the tit. Do us all a favour, let her Dad actually hold his child, have a wash and love your OTHER FUCKING KIDS.
 
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MissPrint

VIP Member
That baby was not born on SS birthday. It’s absolute rubbish.

On 4th October somebody posted a message on the farm page to say they had seen SS there ‘a few days earlier’ and SS had already given birth.

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This is believable because the outfit SS wore to the farm:

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was the same outfit she wore in the garden pumpkin pics the other day.

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In the garden pumpkin pics, Pickle looked more newborn wearing that orange bonnet

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Than more recent pics. (She’s less curled up and skin is smoother now. Her face is also changing.)

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That child was born late September, probably not long after the baby shower. How am I so sure?

I reckon Hinch gifted her that crate at the shower and that’s why, in Pickle’s first picture, she was wearing one of the outfits Hinch purchased.

The end.

Excuse me whilst I go get my life back. 😑
 
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Rubyronron

VIP Member
This whole shit show is what’s wrong in society.
‘we were pleased to welcome ‘celebrities to the farm’ FREE tickets for 2families; a cart load of FREE Pumpkins, and ‘it was closed but we went anyway’, because well, WE are the chosen ones.
Such a self entitled, narcissistic set of money grabbing arseholes right there.
Whilst The families who booked and paid to take their kids were turned away.
£12k for every gurning post of her and her over exposed kids; £12k for her to tell us she’s wearing a sanitary towel, or breastfeeding or taking her annual bath, whilst families worry about rising utilities and the cost of fuel.
I don’t know when the world is going to wake up and see these grabbing, brainless, talentless and usually pug ugly, kid pimping influencers, for what they are 😡
 
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Fettuccine

Well-known member
It's very worrying if someone can lie about something as silly as pumpkins what else they are lying about. The level of covering those lies. "We went anyways" honestly who the fuck are you? You own a cricut machine and stick labels to your kids incase you forget them. Stuck up, self entitled, smelly bitches.
 
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queenpoppy27

Chatty Member
I just dip and out of this thread. I hate to say it and come across like a cunt but Rex and Rose are just so odd looking. Normally with most newborns I find them so cute but not with Rose. They’ve just got such buldging eyes and big long sloped faces on them 😅 there I said it, is it ok to say I think her kids aren’t cute in the slightest on here or am I going to get slated to death? 🥴😂
 
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Binkyboos

Chatty Member
She’s pushing a new born around in a toy pram? Over cobbles? The pram could give in at anytime! She’s not ok honestly. What a role model!!!
 
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Kedece

Well-known member
I cant believe they're still in that bloody bedroom. Why on earth is Joe sitting on the bedroom floor making snacks. Use the kitchen like a normal person

Honestly they could have saved themselves over a £1million and bought a studio flat since they all seem to live in the one room

Rexs hair is getting worse. He's like a burst couch. He's just the most unappealing looking child.
 
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WilmaHun

VIP Member
Omg I was just minding my business walking to the Co-op on my break and saw Janet Street Porter in town! If I wasn't such a wimp I'd have loved to walk up to her and ask her what her opinion is of Stacey's Instagram 😂
 
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So Rose left the bedsit, then Rose went to the registry office where Rose was registered Rose, wearing a rose outfit, then Rose went back home, where Rose had milk and Rose had her eyes open, Rose saw her brother, then Rose was put to bed. Shut the fuck up.
 
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Tess_Tickles

Well-known member
Both the CryptKeeper and Skanky are trying to downplay the party by calling it ‘little’ and ‘mini’. You’re not fucking relatable when you hire a DJ and candy floss stand for your garden.
 
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MyrtleRV

VIP Member
Poor Stace, she seems utterly amazed that Opal Fruit was awake and alert the whole time she was taken out of the bedsit! Bless her, she was clearly captivated by having something other to look at than the same four walls she’s been subjected to. 🤦‍♀️

It seems that whilst Stacey’s been deluding herself that all Rose needs and wants is to just be with her mum being constantly stared at and she’s sleeping all the time because she’s very tired, the truth of the matter is the real reason for her snoozing her little life away is because she’s bored absolutely shitless!! 😂

Poor little mite, it’s not much of a life is it? I mean, I know being so very little she doesn’t have a great deal on her mind or a long list of hopes, dreams and aspirations but still, stuck in one room with little more then Stacey for company must be a little demoralising! I can just imagine what goes through her little head:

Opal Fruit: ‘Ahhhhhh, that was a nice little sleep, I think I’ll have a little stretch and then open my eyes and see what’s a-happening’ *blink*
SS: ‘Rose! Oh my darling lovely little Rosey, so glad you’re awake, I’ve been lying here watching you sleep for hours now!’
OP: ‘ Oh no, it’s her again, let’s have a look around, see if there’s anything else interesting to look at’… *looks around* ‘Hmmmmm, nope, same old room, nowt to see here. Is she still there? She’s staring at me again isn’t she? I suppose at least she’s on her own this time and not with that big orange person or the rough, crazy one with the scary hair! Anyway, this is all a bit boring, nothing to see here, I’ll just go back to sleep, it’s better than having that woman talk to me in that silly voice like I’m stupid! Night world, zzzzzzz’
SS: ‘Oh Rose are you sleeping again? You must be very tired! Never mind, I’ll still be here when you wake up, I know how much you love being with mummy!’ *goes back to staring*

😂😂😂
 
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MyrtleRV

VIP Member
Even though old daddy Solomon (AKA dodgy Dave) had his hands full yesterday with a selection of the grandkids, it’s nice to see he still had the time to fit in a picture with his (very much to her irritation) not so famous daughter, Jem Jem. 💀

If you think she looks tad fresher than usual it’s as yesterday was the day for her annual shower and hair wash, always a big event in the Solomon household. I expect we’ll have a similar photo with Stacey to commemorate her yearly wash, mind, she has not long had a baby so that might be a while off yet!! 😳🤢😱

😆😆😆

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tinatina0604

Well-known member
Yes I just watched the sister's post about washing her hair. They talk about having a bath or washing their hair as if it is a massive thing when I pretty much do both most days. I thought that was normal.

Why pretend you have no money when you have just bought a house at £1.2million and not needed to sell your previous one.
 
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CorrBlimey!

New member
Just stumbled upon this site/thread.
Wow I thought I was the only one to find SS so irritating. All my friends have fallen for her ditsy act and think she’s amazing. I try to tell them it’s all fake but they are trapped up in her web.

Like when she posts a photo of something like Rex in an awful cardigan, she counts to 60 then posts the usual “lots of you have been asking me where Rex’s cardigan from so I’ve put the link here”
Aaaaand queue SS earning 10 grand from a staged fake post. Cardigan prob goes straight in the bin.

or when she does a deliberate spelling mistake “hoe” instead of Joe. Then calls him that for months because it’s like so totally hilarious for her followers. It was all planned out.

and finally she permanently has her tit in a babies mouth on all her photos. Wow what a hero. She’s breastfeeding a baby. Someone give her an MBE. We all know tits feed babies but we also know not all women are able to do so and can only bottle feed. So get off your high horse and put your bap away.
 
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