Sophie and Dave #40 Soaf’s a liar and dressed like Mrs Doubtfire

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Soon, light surrounded Owl eyes. She felt legs, arms and even! Her very own jiggle!

How exciting.

As soon as she is transformed Nana Ratbags tells her she will need some clothes. And a name.

Clothes? Name? How odd she thinks.

How do I get those? She asks.

You can always steal some? Replies Nana Ratbags with a sly smile.

So owl eyes sets off to find a name and clothes. She soon wanders across an amish girl and her nan. She prompty attacks and steals their clothes. She realised her beak was still there and was able to peck them ferociously.

Now for a name! But how do you steal a name?
‘I know’ thought Owl Eyes ‘I have no imagination of my own so I shall just borrow my sister’s name’. And so she did.

Now that Owlie had clothes and a name and a strapping Oaf, life was looking good! Well...middling to good, considering Oaf needed training to buy the right colour tulips for her. Oaf decided to repair the damage done by buying a ring and asking Owlie to marry him!
 
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Meh I write songs i can give a story a shot

The boy made of stars

Once upon a time, there was a boy named Barney.
Now Barney wasn't like other little boys, he was special, because Barney was made from stars, and because of this he had magic powers.
The key to Barneys magic was keeping the stars in him spatkling all the time, and all he needed for this to happen, was to feel happiness, warmth and love.
But Barneys sparkle was being taken away, by 2 evil ogres.

The 2 ogres were the opposite of Barney, whilst he was made from stars and magic, they were made from greed and anger. They were so bitterly angry that they weren't getting enough love and attention from the world. They knew the only way they could get it was from stealing Barneys magic.

So the Ogres trapped Barney. He was locked away in their beige coloured home, with no toys, no laughter, no love, and to make sure he didn't escape, the ogres made their golden hound keep guard. They would do anything to make sure Barney and his magic were trapped forever.

Barney sat trapped in the cage the ogres had fashioned for him. He was so cold and hungry. The ogres never fed him, all he got was scraps from the table and they laughed at him shivering whilst they wrapped themselves up in their warmest clothes.

But Barney had one thing the ogres didn't have. He had hope. So every night, Barney would look out his window, and see all the stars in the sky, and as they twinkled in the distance, he could Still feel the sparkle of the magic within him.

He would close his eyes and wish to feel love and warmth again. He would ask the stars if they could send someone to rescue him and that one day he could use his magic again.

One night, when Barney was drifting off to sleep, and he had just finished making his nightly wishes to the stars, he heard a noise in the distance. He awoke and looked off into the distance.
"What was that strange noise?" He wondered.
 
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‘I know’ thought Owl Eyes ‘I have no imagination of my own so I shall just borrow my sister’s name’. And so she did.

Now that Owlie had clothes and a name and a strapping Oaf, life was looking good! Well...middling to good, considering Oaf needed training to buy the right colour tulips for her. Oaf decided to repair the damage done by buying a ring and asking Owlie to marry him!

But little did Oaf know that the ring he had bestowed upon his love was actually shite in her eyes, and as soon as the evil Lord Beaverbrooks came to tempt her with a new one, she would exchange it for something more befitting of a princess as heartless and materialistic as she is.
 
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"Aaaaooooooohhh"
Barney knew he wasn't dreaming, he knew that noise was real, and that it was getting closer.
Then suddenly, Barney could see who was making the noise.

The noise was a howl!
A wolf, with fur as white as snow and eyes as blue as the ocean, appeared at his window.
Barney stared at the wolf, he wondered if this was the hero he had been wishing for and if the ogres and their pet had heard the wolfs call.

Barney suddenly realised what the wolf was doing. It was starting to dig!
The wold used its great paws, digging up great piles of soil, and Barney finally figured out, the wolf was digging a tunnel to him.

The wolf finally made its way into the room where the ogres kept Barneys cage. The wolf used its great teeth, and bit down on the lock of the cage, snapping it in half, causing the cage door to fall forward and slam on the floor, with an almighty thud.

Barney stopped in bis tracks, and could hear one of the ogres stompong through to his room.
The wolf bowed to Barney, and signalled to him to get onto his back.
Barney did as he was told, and wrapped his arms around the wolfs neck, holding on as tight as he possibly could.
Suddenly the door to the room swung open, to reveal the fattest ogre, named Oaf. He stared angrily at Barney and the wolf and lunged towards them.
"Come here wolf, you can stay for a schnack"
However, the wolf was far too quick for the fat, slow ogre.
The wolf jumped on Oaf, knocking him to the floor. Oaf desperately tried to roll over to catch the wolf, but he was too fat and his arms were to weak to push him over.
"Aaaaaahhhhhhhhh" screamed Oaf.
The wolf darted through its tunnel, with Barney firmly on its back, and started to bound to safety.
Barney looked back, to see Oaf still lying on the floor, and his ogre wife, Soaf standing behind him, yelling at him for losing the magic and losing her key to be accepted into the magic kingdom.

Barney watched as her and the wolf gained distance from the ogres and their layer, and as they turned into mere dots in the distance, Barney shut his eyes, and drifted to sleep, with the stars above him and the warmth of the wolfs fur beneath him.

Barney was awoken by the sun shining down on his face. He opened his eyes to see a figure standing before him. A figure he had recognised, but hadn't seen in a long time.
He heard a soothing Scottish voice say his name, and he realised that the figure was his grandmother.
She knelt down and took Barney from the wolfs back. She bowed her head to the wolf and thanked it.

Barneys eyes filled with tears. He wanted to thank the wolf for saving him. But the wolf merely bowed its head to Barney, and ran into the distance. With a howl travelling over the rolling hills as a final goodbye to Barney.

Barneys grandmother held him close to her. She said "you're safe now little one. I'm so glad you're home. I missed you so much. I love you Barney"
Barney closed his eyes as he snuggled into his grandmother, and as he did, he felt his insides dance.
His sparkles returned, he shone more than ever before. His whole body glowed as he felt the warmth and love from his grandmother and his magic started to come back.

Later that night, after a mountain of food, a hot bath and fresh clothes grandmother to Barney to his bed, in his own room.
There was no cage, no scraps of food, no golden hound and no ogres.
It was all over. He was safe and finally felt loved again.
Grandmother tucked Barney into bed and kissed him on the forehead as she said goodnight.
Barney looked out the window of his room, to the stars again.
As they twinkled in the distance, all Barney could do, through the tears in his eyes, was utter two words.
"Thank you".
Barney closed his eyes, and as he started to fall asleep, he was sure he heard a familiar howl in the distance.


THE END.
 
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"Aaaaooooooohhh"
Barney knew he wasn't dreaming, he knew that noise was real, and that it was getting closer.
Then suddenly, Barney could see who was making the noise.

The noise was a howl!
A wolf, with fur as white as snow and eyes as blue as the ocean, appeared at his window.
Barney stared at the wolf, he wondered if this was the hero he had been wishing for and if the ogres and their pet had heard the wolfs call.

Barney suddenly realised what the wolf was doing. It was starting to dig!
The wold used its great paws, digging up great piles of soil, and Barney finally figured out, the wolf was digging a tunnel to him.

The wolf finally made its way into the room where the ogres kept Barneys cage. The wolf used its great teeth, and bit down on the lock of the cage, snapping it in half, causing the cage door to fall forward and slam on the floor, with an almighty thud.

Barney stopped in bis tracks, and could hear one of the ogres stompong through to his room.
The wolf bowed to Barney, and signalled to him to get onto his back.
Barney did as he was told, and wrapped his arms around the wolfs neck, holding on as tight as he possibly could.
Suddenly the door to the room swung open, to reveal the fattest ogre, named Oaf. He stared angrily at Barney and the wolf and lunged towards them.
"Come here wolf, you can stay for a schnack"
However, the wolf was far too quick for the fat, slow ogre.
The wolf jumped on Oaf, knocking him to the floor. Oaf desperately tried to roll over to catch the wolf, but he was too fat and his arms were to weak to push him over.
"Aaaaaahhhhhhhhh" screamed Oaf.
The wolf darted through its tunnel, with Barney firmly on its back, and started to bound to safety.
Barney looked back, to see Oaf still lying on the floor, and his ogre wife, Soaf standing behind him, yelling at him for losing the magic and losing her key to be accepted into the magic kingdom.

Barney watched as her and the wolf gained distance from the ogres and their layer, and as they turned into mere dots in the distance, Barney shut his eyes, and drifted to sleep, with the stars above him and the warmth of the wolfs fur beneath him.

Barney was awoken by the sun shining down on his face. He opened his eyes to see a figure standing before him. A figure he had recognised, but hadn't seen in a long time.
He heard a soothing Scottish voice say his name, and he realised that the figure was his grandmother.
She knelt down and took Barney from the wolfs back. She bowed her head to the wolf and thanked it.

Barneys eyes filled with tears. He wanted to thank the wolf for saving him. But the wolf merely bowed its head to Barney, and ran into the distance. With a howl travelling over the rolling hills as a final goodbye to Barney.

Barneys grandmother held him close to her. She said "you're safe now little one. I'm so glad you're home. I missed you so much. I love you Barney"
Barney closed his eyes as he snuggled into his grandmother, and as he did, he felt his insides dance.
His sparkles returned, he shone more than ever before. His whole body glowed as he felt the warmth and love from his grandmother and his magic started to come back.

Later that night, after a mountain of food, a hot bath and fresh clothes grandmother to Barney to his bed, in his own room.
There was no cage, no scraps of food, no golden hound and no ogres.
It was all over. He was safe and finally felt loved again.
Grandmother tucked Barney into bed and kissed him on the forehead as she said goodnight.
Barney looked out the window of his room, to the stars again.
As they twinkled in the distance, all Barney could do, through the tears in his eyes, was utter two words.
"Thank you".
Barney closed his eyes, and as he started to fall asleep, he was sure he heard a familiar howl in the distance.


THE END.
Brillant 👏👏 Be careful the ogres might copy your story like they do everything else.
 
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But little did Oaf know that the ring he had bestowed upon his love was actually shite in her eyes, and as soon as the evil Lord Beaverbrooks came to tempt her with a new one, she would exchange it for something more befitting of a princess as heartless and materialistic as she is.
And so Owlie got the ring of her dreams completely free and as she gazed at it, an idea started to grow in her cavernous, empty brain. ’I can get everything I want for free by simply begging and hinting! I HATE work of any kind or description so this is my key to life! I shall get myself a group of adoring idiots and they shall be my bank of Owlie! They may even pay for this wedding, after with my Supersized Oaf will surely take the theatre world by storm, be whisked with me to Hollywood and then I can rest on my feathered bed, adored and looked after! What joy!’
 
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But little did Oaf know that the ring he had bestowed upon his love was actually shite in her eyes, and as soon as the evil Lord Beaverbrooks came to tempt her with a new one, she would exchange it for something more befitting of a princess as heartless and materialistic as she is.
EVIL LORD BEAVERBROOOKS 😂😂😂😂😂😂

That’s bloody hilarious!!!!!!

You guys are bloody brilliant, I’m loving the creativity!!!
 
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EVIL LORD BEAVERBROOOKS 😂😂😂😂😂😂

That’s bloody hilarious!!!!!!

You guys are bloody brilliant, I’m loving the creativity!!!
I just realised my engagement ring is from beaverbrooks as well 🤦‍♀️
Oh well at least fiance worked hard and saved for my ring and didn't have to beg a company for one, and unlike soaf I wouldn't just disregard my proposal ring to get a "bigger one"
 
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Meanwhile , Oaf is deliriously happy that he is to be wed to the owlie eyed princess and although evil Lord Beaverbrooks made him rage.... he forgave his Beaky bride to be and set about getting in the best shape of his life for their budget nuptials.
Looking in the mirror at his super huge , rotund muscular body he realised this would be no easy task especially as he was obsessed with over eating lots and lots and lots of junk food ( egged on by his pink lipped princess) he decided to arrogantly lie and cheat ,exaggerate and hoodwink all the crazy followers that they had amassed and pronounce himself as a fountain of all knowledge on weightloss and weightlifting and gave everyone a little word on cardio .
 
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I actually AM a children’s writer … I can’t see her getting it traditionally published. But maybe she’s self-publishing and will just sell it to her fans.

Kind of unrelated but it makes me sooo mad when people post on their videos that Dave should do a series where he reads books because they think he’s so great at reading to Barney. I did respond and reminded that this is a huge breach of copyright law and authors hate this because we lose money when people read our books online for free instead of encouraging people to buy them.
 
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I actually AM a children’s writer … I can’t see her getting it traditionally published. But maybe she’s self-publishing and will just sell it to her fans.

Kind of unrelated but it makes me sooo mad when people post on their videos that Dave should do a series where he reads books because they think he’s so great at reading to Barney. I did respond and reminded that this is a huge breach of copyright law and authors hate this because we lose money when people read our books online for free instead of encouraging people to buy them.
I imagine she may do the amazon self publish route too. Shes writen it and someone is illustrating. They split the profits. Or she has paid them in rocks.
 
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But she also had some kind of cushion type of material as her product.

I think she's realised, being the CEO of more than Diddly Squat takes a 'bit more' energy than tapping away on her crappy laptop for 2 hours a month.
 
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Are they actually only going to do one video a week when they promised 2? Hilarious 😂
 
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They just need to ditch YouTube all together and just use it to post piss poor Disney vlogs. They don't make any content they could be proud of - they've had a year of content that new mums/mums-to-be would have lapped up but failed. Maybe just focus on the Instagram front? Or get a... job?
 
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Two people's full time job.. 75 hours a week on full time. And what do we get? A 16 minute, lazy video of them going to the cinema and shopping...They're actually delusional if they think they can keep this up and the disney trip is going to save them
 
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