I went out for a freinds birthday a month or so ago and I had one vodka soda and that was it...previously I would have drank and drank untill I was wasted. But I found after almost 2 years of hardly drinking anything I really wasn't into it at all, even just being out at night surrounded by drunk younger people. I didn't enjoy it at all! Safe to say I won't be going out for drinks of an evening anytime soon, food is fine but just drinks is a no from me
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Hi everyone. Been reading through your stories and a lot of them resonated with me.
I rarely drink in the week or at home (I live alone) but overdo it every time I go out. I have a very fine line between tipsy and fully blackout and I keep crossing it. I can function very well and have a normal conversation with absolutely no memory of it the next day, so people often don't know how drunk I am. Also part of the problem is I'm quite petite and boyfriend is 6ft+ rugby player and I often drink at the same rate he does. Usually people tell me how much fun I am and 95% of nights out I'm on good form, even if I'm blackout, but sometimes I can be very rude to my boyfriend at the end of a night (I am never ever violent or throw personal insults, but if he annoys me I'll tell him to f*** off and go on a ramt). I did it again last night after a lovely day, I don't really remember what set me off, we were in public, and he's livid (rightly so). I also stormed off and walked back on my own, at night, so he's fuming about that too for obvious reasons.
He said previously if I did it again we'd be over for good (this is the third time I've done it in our 18 month relationship). We are long distance and I had to drive home today so we haven't resolved it. He is well within his rights to dump me and I am expecting it, although I hope we can resolve it. Even if me & boyfriend break up, I need to get a handle on this for my own health and sanity, and he doesn't deserve to be treated like this. I've told him I'll sort it out before and didn't but this time feels different.
Not here for a pity party but I'm hoping this thread will keep me accountable. I'm not planning on going fully sober but need to set myself strong limits and keep to them. I'm going to keep reading through this thread and take your suggestions/ tips on board. Fingers crossed it works this time!
I rarely drink in the week or at home (I live alone) but overdo it every time I go out. I have a very fine line between tipsy and fully blackout and I keep crossing it. I can function very well and have a normal conversation with absolutely no memory of it the next day, so people often don't know how drunk I am. Also part of the problem is I'm quite petite and boyfriend is 6ft+ rugby player and I often drink at the same rate he does. Usually people tell me how much fun I am and 95% of nights out I'm on good form, even if I'm blackout, but sometimes I can be very rude to my boyfriend at the end of a night (I am never ever violent or throw personal insults, but if he annoys me I'll tell him to f*** off and go on a ramt). I did it again last night after a lovely day, I don't really remember what set me off, we were in public, and he's livid (rightly so). I also stormed off and walked back on my own, at night, so he's fuming about that too for obvious reasons.
He said previously if I did it again we'd be over for good (this is the third time I've done it in our 18 month relationship). We are long distance and I had to drive home today so we haven't resolved it. He is well within his rights to dump me and I am expecting it, although I hope we can resolve it. Even if me & boyfriend break up, I need to get a handle on this for my own health and sanity, and he doesn't deserve to be treated like this. I've told him I'll sort it out before and didn't but this time feels different.
Not here for a pity party but I'm hoping this thread will keep me accountable. I'm not planning on going fully sober but need to set myself strong limits and keep to them. I'm going to keep reading through this thread and take your suggestions/ tips on board. Fingers crossed it works this time!
@tiramisuyou thank you for sharing. Please do post here for support and accountability
I’ve been doing better with drinking during the week, but still bingeing at weekends
I’ve been doing better with drinking during the week, but still bingeing at weekends
This could be me from the weekend. The picture resonates with me. My problem is it’s never just the one.
As of Monday I’ve become alcohol free. I’m doing a day at a time, I’ve seen the benefits for many friends. I’ve got some quit lit to read to support me. I figure if I’ve got through the past 5 days without reaching for the wine to numb the emotions of being dumped, I’m off to a strong start.
Not drinking was always part of the plan, will it be forever, who knows. 100 days is target number one… OVER SUMMER.
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I'm seeing a couple of my freinds tonight for drinks, I haven't seen them both in over 2 years so I'm excited to see them but they are both big drinkers and love a night out. Last time I saw them I was also a big drinker. Going to try to stick to just a couple of vodka tonics, not touch wine or cocktails with all sorts in it as they are my downfall everytime.
What do people enjoy to drink instead? I'm drinking far too much 
but can't think what to have instead thru the week in the evening.
Tend to have a couple of g&ts but would love to stop drinking Monday - Friday..
Can I also ask how do you know if its a problem? Like when do you cross the line into not addicted & addicted?
but can't think what to have instead thru the week in the evening.Tend to have a couple of g&ts but would love to stop drinking Monday - Friday..
Can I also ask how do you know if its a problem? Like when do you cross the line into not addicted & addicted?
Have you tried replacing with an alcohol free option in the week?What do people enjoy to drink instead? I'm drinking far too much
Tend to have a couple of g&ts but would love to stop drinking Monday - Friday..
Can I also ask how do you know if its a problem? Like when do you cross the line into not addicted & addicted?
I personally don’t think it’s as black and white as that, I’m reading lots of quit lit though which has opened my eyes a lot.
Thank you for the welcome. Turned down a big night out tonight (partly because I had a huuuuge unexpected bill) so haven't had to challenge myself yet, but I think the jubilee weekend will be the first test.@tiramisuyou thank you for sharing. Please do post here for support and accountability
I’ve been doing better with drinking during the week, but still bingeing at weekends
I think it's drilled into us socially that weekends are for bingeing! So deffo a difficult one to crack
I'm sorry to hear you're going through a hard time, and well done for not medicating with wine. I hope you're feeling a little better. Summer will be a challenge but think of all the fabulous other things to do when the sun's out - walking, gardening, drives with good music on and the windows down, whippy ice cream... You've made a strong start at a hard time. Good luck!
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I realised I don’t actually have more fun if I drink. If I’m doing something fun with people I love, it’s still fun. And when I’m tempted I think about how awful I feel the morning after, and how freeing it is to wake up feeling good and alcohol free. Also those apps that show you how much money you’ve saved are great!
I stopped drinking 14 months ago (I’m 28) and it is the best decision I’ve ever made. It’s not easy but I’ve read and listened to loads of books and podcasts and they have helped so much. I openly talk about it with my friends and that also helps. The first thing I done when I started to question drinking / the tit impact in was making on my life was
Read ‘ the unexpected joy of being sober’ it planted the seed for me and made me see drinking / alcohol culture and the industry in a different way. Also I thought people would roll their eyes at me and try to peer pressure me into having one or a few but everyone has been so lovely and always say fair play and I wish I could do that etc.
Read ‘ the unexpected joy of being sober’ it planted the seed for me and made me see drinking / alcohol culture and the industry in a different way. Also I thought people would roll their eyes at me and try to peer pressure me into having one or a few but everyone has been so lovely and always say fair play and I wish I could do that etc.
So yesterday out with my two freinds was terrible, I didn't enjoy it at all. I actually drank 7 (!!!) Vodka sodas just to try to enjoy myself and felt nothing at all as i think my anxiety was at an all time high and my body just wouldn’t let me relax. Plus the football meant everywhere was packed with drunk men which I really didn't enjoy. Thats the last time I bother going out in the evening. My place is here with my family, a hot ribena and something good on the tv.
My copy has just arrived. Almost finished Quit Like a Woman. 7 days completed.
That’s great!! I listened to Quit like a woman on Audible it’s brilliant!
Hi all 
. First time posting here. Hoping it’s ok If I get some advice/thoughts, if not the rant will just do 
. I’ve had a very unhealthy relationship with alcohol for a number of years, started off with going out on a weekend when i was younger and not knowing when to stop. As I have gotten older I rarely go out as much and my drinking moved on to drinking at home. I’ve been with my partner for around five years, although we don’t live together. He also likes to drink. At the start of our relationship we used to do things, cinema, walks, meals etc. We didn’t drink much when I saw him through the week, but on weekends we’d have quite a bit. Anyhow, since lockdown we both started drinking every weeknight (separately) and having a LOT together on weekends. It was taking a massive toll on my health both physically and mentally (anxiety, depression, no energy, couldn’t get to sleep, couldn’t get out of bed, random pains, having to take 10 Rennie a day for constant acid reflux, retching when I brushed my teeth and sometimes vomiting, toilet issues, hair falling out, weight gain). I could list a lot more, but I’m sure you get the picture. I decided two weeks ago that I’d stop drinking and try and get my health in order (eat healthily, start exercising) and this has been going great for me. I felt a sense of achievement in stopping drinking and once I’d made a start and felt the difference in myself, I didn’t find it hard at all. In two weeks the lot of my issues have massively improved and I feel great mentally, Ive even lost a few pounds 
. I’d like to keep this up get healthier and eventually lose the few stones I’ve put on. I don’t want to stop drinking completely, but I want to keep it for special occasions, birthdays, Christmas, special meals out with friends (and also keep it controlled, so no or minimum hangover).
My partner is still drinking every night. It doesn’t bother/tempt me and he is free to make his own choices and I don’t try to discourage him. I realise as a drinker and an ex smoker how irritating someone preaching to you is. At the beginning of my no drinking he gave me the “haha you won’t do it” comment and I’ve so far been proving him wrong. He then seemed supportive, but gradually it’s turned into trying to pressure me into having drinks and all we seem to talk about is alcohol every day. As I said, I don’t live with him, so some of it’s over the phone. He suggests I go and buy some wine or whatever even when he’s not there. I go stay with him every weekend and he drinks, pressures me to drink and says I’m looking down on him by not drinking myself. I repeat I have no problem with him drinking if he likes. I have a bottomless brunch coming up for one of my friends that I hardly see’s birthdays that I am going to be drinking at. I probably wouldn’t have drank were it not a bottomless brunch, but I can’t bring myself to pay £30 for a small cooked breakfast. He is jealous of this and asking when it’s his turn for me to have a drink. I explain to him about how dire my health and well-being have been and how I wish he would want better for me, but having a drink seems to trump all of that. He’s said he wants to quit drinking too, but he never makes an effort past mentioning it, doesn’t even try not to go to the shop to buy the drink. He says he’s buying it and cutting down, but the cut never comes. As I said, he is free to drink as he likes, but I’m not quite sure how to move forward if he can’t handle my not drinking every day/week, but I am sure I’ve done the right thing for myself.
To anyone trying to stop/cut down, don’t give up, the benefits to yourself are worth it.
. First time posting here. Hoping it’s ok If I get some advice/thoughts, if not the rant will just do . I’ve had a very unhealthy relationship with alcohol for a number of years, started off with going out on a weekend when i was younger and not knowing when to stop. As I have gotten older I rarely go out as much and my drinking moved on to drinking at home. I’ve been with my partner for around five years, although we don’t live together. He also likes to drink. At the start of our relationship we used to do things, cinema, walks, meals etc. We didn’t drink much when I saw him through the week, but on weekends we’d have quite a bit. Anyhow, since lockdown we both started drinking every weeknight (separately) and having a LOT together on weekends. It was taking a massive toll on my health both physically and mentally (anxiety, depression, no energy, couldn’t get to sleep, couldn’t get out of bed, random pains, having to take 10 Rennie a day for constant acid reflux, retching when I brushed my teeth and sometimes vomiting, toilet issues, hair falling out, weight gain). I could list a lot more, but I’m sure you get the picture. I decided two weeks ago that I’d stop drinking and try and get my health in order (eat healthily, start exercising) and this has been going great for me. I felt a sense of achievement in stopping drinking and once I’d made a start and felt the difference in myself, I didn’t find it hard at all. In two weeks the lot of my issues have massively improved and I feel great mentally, Ive even lost a few pounds . I’d like to keep this up get healthier and eventually lose the few stones I’ve put on. I don’t want to stop drinking completely, but I want to keep it for special occasions, birthdays, Christmas, special meals out with friends (and also keep it controlled, so no or minimum hangover).My partner is still drinking every night. It doesn’t bother/tempt me and he is free to make his own choices and I don’t try to discourage him. I realise as a drinker and an ex smoker how irritating someone preaching to you is. At the beginning of my no drinking he gave me the “haha you won’t do it” comment and I’ve so far been proving him wrong. He then seemed supportive, but gradually it’s turned into trying to pressure me into having drinks and all we seem to talk about is alcohol every day. As I said, I don’t live with him, so some of it’s over the phone. He suggests I go and buy some wine or whatever even when he’s not there. I go stay with him every weekend and he drinks, pressures me to drink and says I’m looking down on him by not drinking myself. I repeat I have no problem with him drinking if he likes. I have a bottomless brunch coming up for one of my friends that I hardly see’s birthdays that I am going to be drinking at. I probably wouldn’t have drank were it not a bottomless brunch, but I can’t bring myself to pay £30 for a small cooked breakfast
. He is jealous of this and asking when it’s his turn for me to have a drink. I explain to him about how dire my health and well-being have been and how I wish he would want better for me, but having a drink seems to trump all of that. He’s said he wants to quit drinking too, but he never makes an effort past mentioning it, doesn’t even try not to go to the shop to buy the drink. He says he’s buying it and cutting down, but the cut never comes. As I said, he is free to drink as he likes, but I’m not quite sure how to move forward if he can’t handle my not drinking every day/week, but I am sure I’ve done the right thing for myself.To anyone trying to stop/cut down, don’t give up, the benefits to yourself are worth it
.You have to do what’s best for you. I’m a month sober now and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done.Hi all
My partner is still drinking every night. It doesn’t bother/tempt me and he is free to make his own choices and I don’t try to discourage him. I realise as a drinker and an ex smoker how irritating someone preaching to you is. At the beginning of my no drinking he gave me the “haha you won’t do it” comment and I’ve so far been proving him wrong. He then seemed supportive, but gradually it’s turned into trying to pressure me into having drinks and all we seem to talk about is alcohol every day. As I said, I don’t live with him, so some of it’s over the phone. He suggests I go and buy some wine or whatever even when he’s not there. I go stay with him every weekend and he drinks, pressures me to drink and says I’m looking down on him by not drinking myself. I repeat I have no problem with him drinking if he likes. I have a bottomless brunch coming up for one of my friends that I hardly see’s birthdays that I am going to be drinking at. I probably wouldn’t have drank were it not a bottomless brunch, but I can’t bring myself to pay £30 for a small cooked breakfast
To anyone trying to stop/cut down, don’t give up, the benefits to yourself are worth it
Similar to you I have a partner who indulges (not alcohol) and I actually feel resentment from him that I have been able to just stop and his habit is getting worse. It’s tough times and I can feel myself pulling further away.
Well done you though
Well done to everyone who has given up or cut down on drinking.
With regards to partners or friends pressuring you to drink, I do think it speaks more to them being uncomfortable with their own relationship with alcohol and them not being able to quit. I think it can push buttons with people sometimes if they see someone else give up.
I’m just 6 days into my attempt to go dry. I tried dry January and didn’t make it through the month.
I don’t feel good, mentally or physically and I just feel like it’s time to stop. I wish I’d done it years ago, because if I’m honest, I can’t remember the last time I actually enjoyed a glass of wine rather than just drinking it because it’s the weekend/I’ve had a rough day/ the sun is out - any excuse really! (Although not every day)
I don’t do many nights out with girl friends but I’ve got one coming up soon and I think it will be very hard to get people to accept that I don’t want to drink. I plan to have a glass poured for me but not actually touch it, and hope no one notices!
It’s hard though because our society seems to centre so much on alcohol for any occasion.
I hope I crack the habit for good this time though. And am hoping I’ll feel an improvement in my health before too long.
Wish me luck!
With regards to partners or friends pressuring you to drink, I do think it speaks more to them being uncomfortable with their own relationship with alcohol and them not being able to quit. I think it can push buttons with people sometimes if they see someone else give up.
I’m just 6 days into my attempt to go dry. I tried dry January and didn’t make it through the month.
I don’t feel good, mentally or physically and I just feel like it’s time to stop. I wish I’d done it years ago, because if I’m honest, I can’t remember the last time I actually enjoyed a glass of wine rather than just drinking it because it’s the weekend/I’ve had a rough day/ the sun is out - any excuse really! (Although not every day)
I don’t do many nights out with girl friends but I’ve got one coming up soon and I think it will be very hard to get people to accept that I don’t want to drink. I plan to have a glass poured for me but not actually touch it, and hope no one notices!
It’s hard though because our society seems to centre so much on alcohol for any occasion.
I hope I crack the habit for good this time though. And am hoping I’ll feel an improvement in my health before too long.
Wish me luck!
Good luck.
You could pretend you’re on antibiotics or something so people don’t pressure you. White lies!
I saw a quote that was something like ‘alcohol is the only drug we have to explain why we don’t have it’….
I have considered going down the antibiotics route
I’ve also considered dropping out completely. I like spending time with them, but I’ve been feeling for a long time now that it’s all a bit superficial; I don’t think I’d be hugely missed if I skipped it, and I wouldn’t have the stress of working out how to say no! (I could say I’m driving but I hate driving lately,so I don’t want to end up as the taxi service for the night)That quote is so true. Alcohol is probably the only drug that’s not only accepted, but is widely encouraged.
I’m sure you would be missed, just do what’s right for youI have considered going down the antibiotics route
That quote is so true. Alcohol is probably the only drug that’s not only accepted, but is widely encouraged.
