Witchfinder Sargeant
VIP Member
500 days sober! 
- Notice
bagafreebee
VIP Member
Gave up new year 122 days sober today and loving being clear headed and hangover free.
MrsFishandChips
Well-known member
Four months sober today 
Prgirl_cesca
VIP Member
We have had some great monthly threads but let's start a little community moving forwards.
All of us are curious of a sober life and the benefits it brings. This isn't AA and some of us are happy just cutting down booze when others are teetotal or nothing.
But here to support each other
I feel like having barely drank since January I am finally not even missing the booze. I have some social plans this month and am not even having the will I/won't I debate in my head about drinking anymore.
All of us are curious of a sober life and the benefits it brings. This isn't AA and some of us are happy just cutting down booze when others are teetotal or nothing.
But here to support each other
I feel like having barely drank since January I am finally not even missing the booze. I have some social plans this month and am not even having the will I/won't I debate in my head about drinking anymore.
Cat Face
Well-known member
Hello all, new to this thread although I recognise some names 
I need to seriously stop / cut down drinking. That's why I'm here. I don't feel I need AA or similar, but I know that I benefit from group support etc, so this is a good compromise.
My trouble is the drinking at home, just "because". I do love a drink, too much, but then I stay up all night enjoying it (wine is my tipple) and then I lose the entire next day because SLEEP.
I stopped drinking on the 1st Jan, made it to 8th and decided to have a drink - I wasn't doing dry January and don't intend to be completely tee-total. But then I drank like I hadn't just done a week's detox, and last night had another drink and now have decided AGAIN that I can't be doing this!
During the week of not drinking, I had all sorts of detox symptoms - getting up at least three times in the night to pee (I NEVER have to get up even once usually), body pains flared up (pre-existing condition), mad dreams, insomnia (wasn't able to sleep more than about 4 hours a night), feeling completely exhausted and no energy ALL the time (even getting off my sofa was a massive effort), zero productivity in my work, irritability, brain fog, lack of concentration - I felt like a zombie 24/7. The only thing I was managing to do was eat healthily and regularly - I'm trying to lose weight and had all the stuff in the fridge anyway. I was drinking lots of water (I do anyway, and I don't drink fizzy drinks etc) to help flush out the toxins. And then I had some alcohol
However, also during the week of not drinking, I noticed some good stuff happening too. My knees weren't complaining (after about day 3), my skin was softer and looked better, my face wasn't red and blotchy, the weird brown patches on the side of my face and elsewhere were fading, I wasn't puffy, I could taste my food so didn't have to add loads of salt to it...
So, thanks for reading I'm going to go back to the start of the thread and have a read through. I am hopeful that I won't need to come here and grumble too often, but likewise I hope I can share successes with you all 
ETA - and it's costing me a fucking fortune! With the money I spend on booze I could be enjoying 4 or 5 holidays a year!
I need to seriously stop / cut down drinking. That's why I'm here. I don't feel I need AA or similar, but I know that I benefit from group support etc, so this is a good compromise.
My trouble is the drinking at home, just "because". I do love a drink, too much, but then I stay up all night enjoying it (wine is my tipple) and then I lose the entire next day because SLEEP.
I stopped drinking on the 1st Jan, made it to 8th and decided to have a drink - I wasn't doing dry January and don't intend to be completely tee-total. But then I drank like I hadn't just done a week's detox, and last night had another drink and now have decided AGAIN that I can't be doing this!
During the week of not drinking, I had all sorts of detox symptoms - getting up at least three times in the night to pee (I NEVER have to get up even once usually), body pains flared up (pre-existing condition), mad dreams, insomnia (wasn't able to sleep more than about 4 hours a night), feeling completely exhausted and no energy ALL the time (even getting off my sofa was a massive effort), zero productivity in my work, irritability, brain fog, lack of concentration - I felt like a zombie 24/7. The only thing I was managing to do was eat healthily and regularly - I'm trying to lose weight and had all the stuff in the fridge anyway. I was drinking lots of water (I do anyway, and I don't drink fizzy drinks etc) to help flush out the toxins. And then I had some alcohol
However, also during the week of not drinking, I noticed some good stuff happening too. My knees weren't complaining (after about day 3), my skin was softer and looked better, my face wasn't red and blotchy, the weird brown patches on the side of my face and elsewhere were fading, I wasn't puffy, I could taste my food so didn't have to add loads of salt to it...
So, thanks for reading
I'm going to go back to the start of the thread and have a read through. I am hopeful that I won't need to come here and grumble too often, but likewise I hope I can share successes with you all ETA - and it's costing me a fucking fortune! With the money I spend on booze I could be enjoying 4 or 5 holidays a year!
Meangirl815
VIP Member
I'm dry (did have a cheap can of pink gin last night tho) and have been for a few years.
I'm not very good at drinking in moderation and i get horrific hangovers.
But the main reason i don't drink is medical. It affects my medication in a way that means 1 night drinking results in 3 days of depression, rage and panic attacks and nobody can be dealing with that
I'm not very good at drinking in moderation and i get horrific hangovers.
But the main reason i don't drink is medical. It affects my medication in a way that means 1 night drinking results in 3 days of depression, rage and panic attacks and nobody can be dealing with that
Barb Schneider
Member
Drinking poison is not a treat
Drinking poison is not a treat
Drinking poison is not a treat
Giving yourself a hangover is not a treat
Giving yourself a hangover is not a treat
Giving yourself a hangover is not a treat
I will get my brain thinking this way eventually!
Drinking poison is not a treat
Drinking poison is not a treat
Giving yourself a hangover is not a treat
Giving yourself a hangover is not a treat
Giving yourself a hangover is not a treat
I will get my brain thinking this way eventually!
Kikini Bamalam
VIP Member
Morning all
Was just reading through this morning and thought I would give a little advice to those of you who are going sober. I'll be 3 years sober in June and I was a proper problem blackout drinker. I would drink 3 to 4 times a week, vodka being my main type of poison and would go through 2-3L a week. I gave up by reading This Naked Mind by Annie Grace and with a couple of slips I have been totally sober since.
The headaches to start with do get better, make sure you are drinking plenty of water or similar. I'm not a big water drinker at all, so I went with sugar free squash or diluted orange juice to make it easier for me. Be prepared for getting up for a slash a couple of times a night at first, but again this will resolve itself as you get used to more fluids, plus you can gauge when to have your last drink of the day to help with this.
The sleep problem will also resolve itself but it can take a couple of weeks. If you are not already, try taking a magnesium supplement to help with this. In fact, I would really recommend taking a very good multivitamin as well as a B vitamin supplement as well. If you have been a long time drinker, it can really deplete your B vitamins so it is well worth taking one.
Personally I take Well Woman 50+ (because I am old) as well as 500mg magnesium and an ultra vitamin B complex from Vitabiotics. I know a lot has been written on the pro's and cons of taking vitamins, but I've always figured it is unlikely to hurt. A big plus point for me has been that I am rarely ill, I can't remember the last time I had a cold in fact.
Good luck to you all whether you are doing DJ or looking at a long term change. It is totally worth it and one day you will look back and feel so proud of how far you have come. I certainly do now.
Was just reading through this morning and thought I would give a little advice to those of you who are going sober. I'll be 3 years sober in June and I was a proper problem blackout drinker. I would drink 3 to 4 times a week, vodka being my main type of poison and would go through 2-3L a week. I gave up by reading This Naked Mind by Annie Grace and with a couple of slips I have been totally sober since.
The headaches to start with do get better, make sure you are drinking plenty of water or similar. I'm not a big water drinker at all, so I went with sugar free squash or diluted orange juice to make it easier for me. Be prepared for getting up for a slash a couple of times a night at first, but again this will resolve itself as you get used to more fluids, plus you can gauge when to have your last drink of the day to help with this.
The sleep problem will also resolve itself but it can take a couple of weeks. If you are not already, try taking a magnesium supplement to help with this. In fact, I would really recommend taking a very good multivitamin as well as a B vitamin supplement as well. If you have been a long time drinker, it can really deplete your B vitamins so it is well worth taking one.
Personally I take Well Woman 50+ (because I am old) as well as 500mg magnesium and an ultra vitamin B complex from Vitabiotics. I know a lot has been written on the pro's and cons of taking vitamins, but I've always figured it is unlikely to hurt. A big plus point for me has been that I am rarely ill, I can't remember the last time I had a cold in fact.
Good luck to you all whether you are doing DJ or looking at a long term change. It is totally worth it and one day you will look back and feel so proud of how far you have come. I certainly do now.
House of Tea
VIP Member
I have been unwell for a week so I haven’t had any alcohol for a week. I normally drink a lot of wine, not every day, but about 5 days a week. Usually 3/4 bottle of wine at home after dinner. Sometimes when out and about I have a G & T or half a Guinness. Over Christmas or on holiday I drink every day. Because I have not been feeling great, I have not missed wine this week. But at some point I will miss it. No issues with headaches or insomnia. If anything my sleep has been better. This is the first week without alcohol for years.
I never saw myself ending up as a drinker, but here I am. My dad was a hard drinker. A pint with chasers at the same time. Bang bang down the hatch. I used to watch him in pubs and used to feel ashamed at the quickness of his drinking. If he was in a round the others would be a quarter down and he would be looking around for the next pint. He didn’t make old bones.
My husband has a drink problem. He would deny it. He is never drunk, he has built up a big tolerance, which is not good. Bottle after bottle of cider and craft beer, plus the wine I don’t drink. Costs a lot of money. I have spoken to him about it, he just says he knows he drinks too much and does nothing. He does not like me not drinking. It makes him think what he is doing is wrong. I can’t blame him for my choices but living with a heavy drinker does not encourage balance. However my drinking and his has been playing on my mind for the last few years. A feeling of disquiet and a bit of contempt that we are the archetypal boozy Brits. This country has such an issue with booze, it is centred to be the be all and end all. I told him the noise I associate him with is gug glug - the sound of his beer being poured.
I saw Sheila Hancock being interviewed this week. Her dad and her first husband were alcoholics. As was her second husband John Thaw. JT suffered from depression and SH and his family left him for a while, an ultimatum for him to sober up. He did and his depression went. She said alcohol is an addictive poison. My husband wasn’t watching he was surfing net, but he likes her and he was listening. His head snapped up when she said that. I think he knows what he is doing is wrong. His mum was an alcoholic. She started drinking when she became a widow. Her decline was swift and brutal. It started a journey into her abusing her health. She didn’t make old bones either.
I would be interested if anyone else has a hard drinking partner and how you work around that.
However his path is his path. I need to look after my own health. I want to carry on being AF, not sure for how long. But a reframing of its place in my life. Plus it is expensive now. I also want to lose weight. Eating stodgy to mop up alcohol or stave off hangovers has piled on the weight. I want to eat lighter food, which I can do AF.
I hate the fact I have been flooding myself with poison for a long time. It is time for a change.
I never saw myself ending up as a drinker, but here I am. My dad was a hard drinker. A pint with chasers at the same time. Bang bang down the hatch. I used to watch him in pubs and used to feel ashamed at the quickness of his drinking. If he was in a round the others would be a quarter down and he would be looking around for the next pint. He didn’t make old bones.
My husband has a drink problem. He would deny it. He is never drunk, he has built up a big tolerance, which is not good. Bottle after bottle of cider and craft beer, plus the wine I don’t drink. Costs a lot of money. I have spoken to him about it, he just says he knows he drinks too much and does nothing. He does not like me not drinking. It makes him think what he is doing is wrong. I can’t blame him for my choices but living with a heavy drinker does not encourage balance. However my drinking and his has been playing on my mind for the last few years. A feeling of disquiet and a bit of contempt that we are the archetypal boozy Brits. This country has such an issue with booze, it is centred to be the be all and end all. I told him the noise I associate him with is gug glug - the sound of his beer being poured.
I saw Sheila Hancock being interviewed this week. Her dad and her first husband were alcoholics. As was her second husband John Thaw. JT suffered from depression and SH and his family left him for a while, an ultimatum for him to sober up. He did and his depression went. She said alcohol is an addictive poison. My husband wasn’t watching he was surfing net, but he likes her and he was listening. His head snapped up when she said that. I think he knows what he is doing is wrong. His mum was an alcoholic. She started drinking when she became a widow. Her decline was swift and brutal. It started a journey into her abusing her health. She didn’t make old bones either.
I would be interested if anyone else has a hard drinking partner and how you work around that.
However his path is his path. I need to look after my own health. I want to carry on being AF, not sure for how long. But a reframing of its place in my life. Plus it is expensive now. I also want to lose weight. Eating stodgy to mop up alcohol or stave off hangovers has piled on the weight. I want to eat lighter food, which I can do AF.
I hate the fact I have been flooding myself with poison for a long time. It is time for a change.
Witchfinder Sargeant
VIP Member
Really glad I found this thread, hello everyone.
Drinking got out of hand during the pandemic, creeping up to a bottle of wine a night, which is a bit punchy. Moderating was too much like hard work (think up rules, think up ways of breaking the rules, feel guilty for breaking the rules. Pfft, who has time for that?). Did a guided dry January from This Naked Mind, with journalling prompts and support Teams calls, stayed sober for a month afterwards, drinking started creeping up again and getting worse (back to a bottle of wine a night fairly quickly, then a couple of bottles at the weekend), This Naked Mind sent details of a year-long course they were doing, so I scraped together the cash for it, buckled down, started doing the work, and here I am, fifteen months sober.
Drinking got out of hand during the pandemic, creeping up to a bottle of wine a night, which is a bit punchy. Moderating was too much like hard work (think up rules, think up ways of breaking the rules, feel guilty for breaking the rules. Pfft, who has time for that?). Did a guided dry January from This Naked Mind, with journalling prompts and support Teams calls, stayed sober for a month afterwards, drinking started creeping up again and getting worse (back to a bottle of wine a night fairly quickly, then a couple of bottles at the weekend), This Naked Mind sent details of a year-long course they were doing, so I scraped together the cash for it, buckled down, started doing the work, and here I am, fifteen months sober.
HeeeeyDuggee
Member
I felt EXACTLY like that. I love wine, love it. Some of the sober books I read (can't remember which, possibly Annie Grace) talked about how we don't actually like the taste of alcohol, that we learn to because society tells us its fun and exciting and essential and we just learn to like it because of its connotations and whilst I liked the rest of the book I found that frustrating because I really do like it, always have! I'm not a fan of sweet things and so always found it difficult to replace wine with other drinks as everything non alcoholic is so sweet.
If you had asked me a year or so ago if I could cope without wine I'd have laughed in your face. It was my reward, something to look forward to, I thought I couldn't do without. I was also a bottle a night, every night drinker.
I have been on and off (now totally off for a while) with drinking for about a year since I really started to struggle with feeling more and more rough in the morning. It's hard to start with, undoubtedly, but honestly it starts getting easier and easier. I failed again and again because I tried moderating, only drinking at the weekend never worked, then it was only drinking when visiting family or away from home but then when I got home I felt like I needed to carry on.
But when you actually do it and commit to it you really just have to get past the first few weeks and you've done the hardest bit. I do think that it's worth reading some of the sober literature, again Annie Grace talks about having to retrain your brain, that the addictive nature of alcohol is literally changing your brain chemistry so that you 'need' it and that it takes time for all your neural pathways to rewire themselves (btw, I'm no scientist so this is a vague idea, sure I'm using wrong terms and things!!) When they do, it becomes so much easier.
One of the 'exercises' I liked and actually find useful was to imagine a situation that I usually wouldn't ever do without alcohol. Meeting friends in a pub garden perhaps or a wedding. Then imagine myself with a nice elderflower presse. Looking fab and not saying anything daft, not having my lipstick smudged, having a dance but not going too far. Staying up exactly as late as I fancy and then getting up fresh and happy the next day and being able to remember it all! Just resetting my expectations, trying to train my brain into thinking that is more fun than the alternative.
I feel a million times better now, I really do. My husband and I have been re watching a series we've enjoyed and its crazy how little I actually remember of it, it's like watching with new eyes. I think I must have missed so much over the years. I honestly thought that I couldn't get through the day without the promise of that first glass of wine once my son was in bed. Then a few weeks ago I was sitting one evening and realised that I was really looking forward to my morning cup of tea. I realised that I actually like lots of parts of the day now (and lots I don't too, I'm as grumpy as any other parent plenty of the time!), before I was just living to drink.
My general health has improved but also my mental health. I have a few problems (have aspergers) and I think I've been self medicating for a very long time. I've noticed a reduction in my tics. Very importantly I'm sleeping, that also took a while, think I was so used to knocking myself out that it was a big change but a few weeks after stopping I started to sleep all night, for the first time that I can remember. I am lucky enough to have managed to get some counselling recently and if possible (waiting lists are crazy atm aren't they) that may help a bit.
Anyway, sorry for the essay. I feel a bit evangelical about the whole thing as I just never imagined I could feel like this. I really hope you're doing OK and sending lots of positive thoughts your way. It's bloody hard, but it is worthwhile.
Just found this thread, my backstory is that I did Dry January and realised how much better my life is without alcohol. Today I’ve reached day 100 in my hangover free journey. This is my year to evolve into the person I want to be, I’ve lived too much of my adult life as a slave to the Friday and Saturday night piss ups, which then snuck into weekdays and a bottle of wine on a Wednesday night whilst cooking dinner, to the point where I was anxiety riddled, in poor health and not being the best parent, friend and partner to those around me. I honestly cannot put into words the positive effect that giving up alcohol has had on my life, but I do still find that there is a stigma attached to not drinking. The freedom is absolutely incredible though for me personally 
whyhellothere83
VIP Member
Started Dry Jan for the first time ever. Day 3 and the night sweats are awful (I’m a very heavy drinker usually so making sure I understand the symptoms if I stop suddenly & I know to contact the GP if needed). For once, I don’t even fancy alcohol. I’m trying to remind myself that it is a poison and I’ve been listening to ‘the sober girl society’ book every night for a couple of months now. I have lots of sober books on my ‘to listen to’ list. Determined to get this sorted after heavy drinking since the start of lockdown.
reCAPTCHA
VIP Member
Day 3
This is going to be a long ass month
I’m sure others can relate; it’s my own brain that’s the problem! 3 days in and I’m already bargaining with myself.
“Change the resolution to only drink on a Friday night. That is enough.”
”Change the resolution to only drink when you go out somewhere; alcohol free at home only.”
”You just went a bit overboard over Christmas; there’s no need to be overly draconian in January. Relax!”
I am just ignoring that voice in my brain and reminding myself that I really DO need to do this, ideally beyond January. I’m actually thinking of changing my goal to 100 days because I think it takes that long to feel the benefits (I was sober for about 2 years from 2017, but cracked under the combined pressure of a friend dying, a stressful house move, and then the pandemic)
This is going to be a long ass month
I’m sure others can relate; it’s my own brain that’s the problem! 3 days in and I’m already bargaining with myself.
“Change the resolution to only drink on a Friday night. That is enough.”
”Change the resolution to only drink when you go out somewhere; alcohol free at home only.”
”You just went a bit overboard over Christmas; there’s no need to be overly draconian in January. Relax!”
I am just ignoring that voice in my brain and reminding myself that I really DO need to do this, ideally beyond January. I’m actually thinking of changing my goal to 100 days because I think it takes that long to feel the benefits (I was sober for about 2 years from 2017, but cracked under the combined pressure of a friend dying, a stressful house move, and then the pandemic)
Superdude
Well-known member
Woo hoo reached Day 7 alcohol free! Feeling rather good about it, with better sleeping patterns and being a bit more productive.
I don't want to give up totally; I really enjoy my wine, but a lot more cutting down / having periods of abstinence seems like a good plan. We'll see, after Dry January.
Keep going folks
I don't want to give up totally; I really enjoy my wine, but a lot more cutting down / having periods of abstinence seems like a good plan. We'll see, after Dry January.
Keep going folks
Thelife×
Chatty Member
I’ve been dry since July 2018. It’s really hard not to join in on a night out, but I make myself the designated driver so that I can’t even be tempted.
Flowergirl14
VIP Member
I went out to the shop, and police pulled me up on my dodgy parking....I'm terrible at parallel parking.
When I came out of the shop, he said I'm going to have to breathelyse you and have you had a drink today?
I was very happy to say I have not had a drink this year!
When I came out of the shop, he said I'm going to have to breathelyse you and have you had a drink today?
I was very happy to say I have not had a drink this year!
Pinkpen 84
Well-known member
Morning guys. And it is a truly lovely sober Monday morning. Guilt, anxiety free. I can remember what I did yesterday, I didn’t eat the body weight of food because I was hungover from Saturday, I spent quality time with my self and my family. And I do not look like I’ve been stung by a hive of bees and can’t open my eyes from all that water retention.
I’m so happy I’m now 29 days sober. Weekend binge drinking sucks!
Have a great week everyone x
I’m so happy I’m now 29 days sober. Weekend binge drinking sucks!
Have a great week everyone x
I'm on week 3, day 21 and my sleep is amazing! Don't wake up at all during the night and the night wees have stopped too thank goodness.
My MH is a lot better, anxiety is very low. Less bloated, face has slimmed down. I'm at the point now where I can't believe I was drinking so much on a week night, especially before work. I don't know how I was functioning at all? I'm a lot more present with my children and husband and just generally feeling like that fog or cloud that was over me has shifted. It's brilliant tbh.
My MH is a lot better, anxiety is very low. Less bloated, face has slimmed down. I'm at the point now where I can't believe I was drinking so much on a week night, especially before work. I don't know how I was functioning at all? I'm a lot more present with my children and husband and just generally feeling like that fog or cloud that was over me has shifted. It's brilliant tbh.
really_whythough
Chatty Member
I had my hardest day yet, proving to myself that just because it’s been easy and fun so far, there are still likely to be bumps in the road.
There were some key risk factors present, I was tired, overworked and under rested, not eating much, going to a gig (which ended up being great). Meeting a friend who would be drinking (not much and she was super considerate about it) and just in a whole situation I haven’t been in before while not drinking. Usually it would have been drinks at home and maybe the journey and one-two before/during/after.
I honestly could feel my brain casting around for ideas of how to get me feeling alive enough to get to the gig and enjoy it. It hit on wine a couple of times and I had to tell it a firm NO THANK YOU.
I stuck to water/soda water and lime and focused on how much I didn’t want to feel like crap tomorrow and how I wanted to trust myself to be in full awareness. It worked! I jumped around loads and had a great time and rewarded myself with sober podcasts on the way home, feeling proud and full of endorphins from the jumping and singing! Probably would have been squashed by alcohol before…
Another big first done and dusted (previous gig I went to was a really small sit down vibe so much easier).
There were some key risk factors present, I was tired, overworked and under rested, not eating much, going to a gig (which ended up being great). Meeting a friend who would be drinking (not much and she was super considerate about it) and just in a whole situation I haven’t been in before while not drinking. Usually it would have been drinks at home and maybe the journey and one-two before/during/after.
I honestly could feel my brain casting around for ideas of how to get me feeling alive enough to get to the gig and enjoy it. It hit on wine a couple of times and I had to tell it a firm NO THANK YOU.
I stuck to water/soda water and lime and focused on how much I didn’t want to feel like crap tomorrow and how I wanted to trust myself to be in full awareness. It worked! I jumped around loads and had a great time and rewarded myself with sober podcasts on the way home, feeling proud and full of endorphins from the jumping and singing! Probably would have been squashed by alcohol before…
Another big first done and dusted (previous gig I went to was a really small sit down vibe so much easier).