I've also chucked a tenner to my local food bank
So, although edible, not something you'd say - oh I must make these again! then.Slopalong with Madonna_Claws presents: Tinned Potato Fishcakes
Ingredients (parsley in fridge)
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Had to buy the sardines, parsley and flour. I needed the flour anyway so wasn't bought especially.
Drained and rinsed tinned spuds were cooked for 10 minutes, as per Jack's carefully, forensically tested/one and done (take your pick) method.
As I wanted to try both suggestions - with paprika and with tomato puree - I separated the potatoes equally into separate bowls. The sardine oil was mixed into the potatoes first, giving them a slimy, oily hue, then the rest. There was no way in hell I was just chucking the sardines in bones and all so I flaked them with my fingers and discarded the main bone thing in them.
Left: paprika Right: tomato puree. Photo taken before gently beating the flour in. The mixture was stiff ish - it would hold together well enough, but was tacky and slimy, probably due to the sardine oil. However, I didn't feel it warranted any more flour as it held on a spoon when upside down.
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Now the cooking! As I don't have a cooker or oven I fried them. Unless you were doing an absolute tit ton of them, who puts the oven on for sodding fishcakes anyway?
Paprika fishcakes first
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Finished!
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Frauen, they were... distinctly average, but edible. Kudos to Jack, the paprika gave the fishcakes a nice kick and much-needed flavour. Comparing my photo with the one in the recipe I suspect I also mashed my spuds more than Jack, but who wants lumpy fishcakes (unless the lumps are fish?) Texture wise they were sloppy in the middle rather than fluffy and light. This may be due to them not being oven cooked but I doubt it - the mixture is too heavy for fluffiness.
Now for the tomato puree fishcakes.
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(One for the HMHB frauen und herren there )
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The tomato puree fishcakes were pretty tasteless. No hint of tomato whatever, not even a tanginess or sharpness. Texture etc was exactly the same as the paprika ones, to be expected.
Now for one of each using the George Foreman grill. This is how I would cook normal, sane, shop-bought fishcakes.
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As you can see, because the mixture isn't completely solid, but just right to shape and doesn't fall off an upside down spoon as per Jack's instructions, the mixture as spread a bit. Not really an issue to be fair. There was a fair bit of fat that came out of them which I presume was the sardine oil mainly.
Reader, they were...
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... a bit tit. Nicely grilled on the outside, hot but sloppy on the inside. Again, edible but meh.
Verdict: they pretty much turned out how I expected they would, and not dissimilar to my own homemade fishcakes (though I tend to tip the lot into one big frying pan and call it 'fried sardine mash'). Jack's fishcakes were edible but ultimately tasteless and slimy. A definite unsatisfying 'meh'. Adequate if I'm being generous.
Pros: Generally edible. As mentioned above, the paprika came as a nice surprise. Gave the fishcakes a very pleasant and welcome kick, and something I may incorporate into my own in the future.
Cons: couldn't taste the lemon juice or the parsley so why are they there? The consistency was sloppy (maybe add more flour?). Not sure tinned potatoes are good for such a recipe as they are heavy, waxy and filmy - instant mash would be better as long as you don't use too much water in the mixture.
My main beef however is... why sardines in oil and *then* add tomato puree? Just buy the tinned sardines in tomato in the first place! They are *far* tastier and all that tomato juice is yum and would add delicious flavour. The tomato puree fishcakes had no hint of tomato whatsoever so what.is.point? Also, I think adding the sardine oil into the mixture made it more slimy than it needed to be, plus it didn't add anything to the flavour.
Scores: 2 (I'd give it 2 1/2 if halves are allowed).
I'm off for proper food now
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Oh my lovely, this is heartbreaking and the precise reason for this thread. Makes me livid she's been publishing rubbish recipe that never had a chance to work. My suggestion: anything by Delia Smith to build your confidence, every *single* recipe works first time, and have a look on YouTube for inspiration. Chef John is one of my faves.Thank you for this thread. I posted in the other thread about how I attempted sausagne three times. Truth is I had attempted a few Monroe recipes. Back in 2015 I was going through some rubbish, my mum passed suddenly and our household income was halved. I’d never really been able to cook, relying on easy stuff like pasta and cheese, salads, sandwiches and ready meals and takeout. This wasn’t going to be possible with my new budget and seeing Jacks books recommended for budget recipes I bought a few on kindle and figured I’d learn to cook and manage my money at the same time. It didn’t go well. As well as the sausagne I tried the 9p burgers, the risotto, a curry, salmon paste pasta, apricot and white choc loaf, cookies, bread. Each one failed. I got more upset each time, and believed I just must be a tit cook. I was already struggling with my mental health and this just added to the depression, and I started to get anxious around food shopping and cooking to the point I gave up and went back to eggs on toast or cheap tins of soup because I knew I couldn’t get these wrong and I wouldn’t be wasting money. So thank you for this thread, I can finally tell myself it wasn’t me, it wasn’t my fault, and hopefully in future give cooking another go.
That looks so unappealing... Well done you for trying to eat it! If the sequence had been pineapple with chicken on top the right way up, maybe it could have turned nicer. Maybe.I'm just going to get it out of the way upfront. Dire.
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I sprung for a fresh clean vessel and decided to jettison quite a bit of the marinade. At this point it was pretty wet and I was already repulsed by the idea of wet hot chicken skin. Into the oven for an hour it is. I put the pineapple rings on before it went in and did a slop-free version for my SG. I diverted from the instructions here and put extra sugar and cinnamon on the pineapple for caramelisation purposes.It smelled quite nice while it was cooking and I went away and did something else for a bit.View attachment 1709524
I put two thighs in skin side up and two skin side down, as an experiment. My Old Harold takes the skin off anyway but I love a bit of crispy chicken skin.
I made a tit ton of coconut rice asI decided to swap cooking dishes at the halfway mark because what looked like bin juice had seeped out everywhere. Grim.
View attachment 1709539a back up planan accompaniment and some mixed greens. I put green food colouring in some of the rice, as per the Instagram Live, but it came out yellow. Should have been an omen, really.
Dinner may be served, but after a full hour at 190, and an extra 10 minutes at 220, it is not fully cooked. The next image really does need a spoiler.View attachment 1709542
Why yes, that is a:
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#authentic. It came with the house 15 years ago, do you want me to stop breathing?
Review from me: smells like your hands after you've got sweaty from holding coins, doesn't really taste of anything, chicken went in the bin.
Review from OH: I've eaten it but please never make it again.
Review from SG: I know you said my chicken is different but it was cooked in the same oven so can I just have the rice?
I ate her chicken. She has disappeared to her room with a donut.
These are the leftovers, which went back in the oven for an extra 20 mins and now they finally appear to be fully cooked.
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I have made the executive decision not to use any of the tips for leftovers from the recipe and dispose of them in the food waste bin. Not sure how the bones would make a spicy stock if the flavour didn't even penetrate through to the meat. If nothing else, it might keep the foxes from trying to get into the bin.
I've also made a donation to just about match the cost of ingredients to an independent local charity which does a bit to help with access to food, and a lot for people struggling with their mental health.
So far so good on the upset tummy front, but I'll let you know if anything changes.
Added for you tender one x@That Forensic Man i can't work out how to add my rating to the wiki. It's a one for every category. If I could is give it zero I would
Oh my Christ, it’s the horse spunk in disguise
Someone once told me they werw in fact hen periods. So perhaps they werent wrong.Oh my Christ, it’s the horse spunk in disguise
Good idea perhaps S - Stolen, don't want to give Jack the credit of a 6 if it ain't hers!That egg snot made me boak.
I wonder if we should add an extra rating just in case -
1- Dire
2 - Terrible
3 - Middle class
4 - Inhale greedily
5 - Ovary groaner
6 - Stolen