The slop slinging mood struck and I've gone and made the Vegetable Peelings Loaf.
Join me on my first ever Jack Monroe cooking adventure. I'm so excited!
Ingredients carefully gathered, I'm all set to get a-slopping!
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duck me, how many peelings?
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OK, so I get busy with the blending business, mmm, every time I heave the blender out to let it come up for air, I'm treated to a deliciously reverberating slluurrrppp sound. The sound you only normally hear when unblocking a drain. A sign of slop to come perhaps? Let's see! My blender keeps getting stuck in the swampy soup. Is it trying to tell me something?
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Yes it is. The whole thing has become a puree! Where did I go wrong? Could it be that two apples and a large onion are just too heckin wet to give a damn about binding with vegetable peelings?
The mix is mixed. I'm like Betty Boo Doin the Doo:
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I'm super excited about this next stage - pulsing the bread, chickpeas, the egg, the cheese and all the tasty seasoning as it'll no doubt add some essential heft into the runny brew. Oh look, the chickpea liquid goes in too, because more wet stuff is exactly what this recipe needs. Fraus, Herren, I'm starting to worry:
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Next stage... I see mention made to "lightly grease" a loaf Tin. Hold up, there's no mention of grease being needed in the recipe. Do you think I'm made of money and have grease on tap?
I press it into my oven dish. You know when you make papier mache and it's just a bit too wet and you know you need more torn up newspaper? Hmm, yes,that...
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I'm cooking the whole mixture in one go as I make the executive decision this is a one-and-done dish. So, into the oven it goes:
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Exactly one hour is up! Time to reveal the loaf in all its glory!
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I'm going in...
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It smells like stuffing. I like stuffing.
It tastes... there's a taste of something, surely? Nope. A hint of something earthy, but not quite perceptible. It tastes of wet slop. It goes down like wet slop. I now need a solid slab of toast to eradicate the memory. With it being bonfire night, should anyone need something to dampen down some flames, I have just the thing.
Score: 1. Dire.