Slopalong: Cooking with Jack Monroe

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Witchfinder Sargeant

Fraus, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to duck out of this. I'm neck-deep in revision for some important exams and I barely have the time to cook something I know I'll actually eat, never mind slop.
 
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FlirtyThirty

Dear ones I am going in.

Also, Paupers Cookbook?? Fuck you whoever you are Daisy ugh
 

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threetintender

sioc said:
Just wanted to point out that she's using a throwaway ethnic slur there (tinker). To be fair to her, I'm sure it's just another word she liked but doesn't understand
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She absolutely knows what it means but thinks it is ok. What an advocate for the dispossessed she is.
 
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Marj24

The sprout scones reminded me of this Jack collection of festive leftover recipes.

Christmas dinner leftover recipes for Boxing Day

Wasting food isn’t an option for most, so we asked crafty cook and poverty campaigner Jack Monroe how to make the most of festive trimmings on Boxing Day including turkey and Brussels sprouts
www.grimsbytelegraph.co.uk

Sprout pesto or sprout pizza anyone? Not trying to get in your niche @Notmycat but sharing as I thought someone may like to try cooking one of these "delights".

She also has an incomplete recipe for leftovers tarts, in it she explains how to make shortcrust pastry by rubbing in the fat and flour, adding the water and then the next instructions are to tip onto a floured worktop and "knead for a few minutes". There would be nothing "short" about Jack's pastry, it would be as hard as a board! It should just be gently brought together, wrapped and chilled for about half an hour.

Not only are her combinations revolting, she truly has no understanding of the basics (but you already know that.)
 
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FlirtyThirty

Right I’m going to make this because how can a tsp of chilli flakes make a fckn vindaloo?! Also your grandmas spuds must be as dire as your mama if she’s putting cinnamon on them. Also why say you don’t have any cinnamon but then have cinnamon in the frickin recipe?!

 
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Slop n slide

Trying my best to keep up but in case I missed it… has anything been cooked yet? I’m like a kid on Christmas morning reading this thread
 
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threetintender

I’m cooking later today but am gagging at the recipe….fry chicken livers for 10 minutes??? Then liquidise and boil for another 20? I can imagine the texture of this as akin to wallpaper paste (and will of course photograph it later) and have become suspicious about her picture of the results. It appears to have some form of texture. It’s almost as if she is being disingenuous.
 

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That Forensic Man

Slop n slide said:
Trying my best to keep up but in case I missed it… has anything been cooked yet? I’m like a kid on Christmas morning reading this thread
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Yes tender one, I'll be adding them to the wiki as well

Slopalong: Cooking with Jack Monroe

Look I’m not obsessed with portion sizes, but she’s really getting 30 cornflake cakes out of 50g of cornflakes? I know they are light but really?
tattle.life

Slopalong: Cooking with Jack Monroe

I'm going in
tattle.life

Slopalong: Cooking with Jack Monroe

Good evening, you nefarious lot! I made this:
tattle.life

Slopalong: Cooking with Jack Monroe

Good evening, you nefarious lot! I made this:
tattle.life
@sioc she uses 'blighters' to refer to missing cloves here, there's probably slurs peppered throughout the book. That's one not racial but very synonymous with 'bugger'.

Also look at this horse shit:
This is my aneurysm, mithering over a teaspoon of chili flakes IN A VINDALOO and then saying guests can choose their heat level, not on a VINDALOO they can't
 
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Funsizes

Is there a list of whats already been claimed - my only dietary thing is that it needs to be meatless but I think theres a lot of veggies here and dont want to clash (although it would make the research more reliable!)
 
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That Forensic Man

Funsizes said:
Is there a list of whats already been claimed - my only dietary thing is that it needs to be meatless but I think theres a lot of veggies here and dont want to clash (although it would make the research more reliable!)
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Yes consult the wiki table tender one x

Slopalong Wiki

Surprisingly for nearly three years' of Tattle threads, the canal have not taken a forensic look across the spectrum of all of Jack's recipes / slops. We've had the odd foray into a tasting situation, but nothing consistent across all of her books and website. This is in spite of anecdotal...
tattle.life
 
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MavisBeacon

YenE said:
What the ever loving fuck…. sprout scones. I am done. I thought liver bolognaise was bad but this.
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Sprout scones and liver Bolognese sound like they should be on the menu at the Regret Rien from Life Is Sweet
 
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Funsizes

Ok I have decided on the pasta e ceci from tin can cook because who DOESN'T have time to boil a tin of already cooked chickpeas for a fucking hour
 
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Slop n slide

I don’t see myself on the list but it may be that it’s yet to be updated, or I just cant see it, so ignore me if that’s the case. I’m making rhubarb and custard pancakes, God help me xx
 
Reactions: 16

That Forensic Man

Slop n slide said:
I don’t see myself on the list but it may be that it’s yet to be updated, or I just cant see it, so ignore me if that’s the case. I’m making rhubarb and custard pancakes, God help me xx
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You're in the early bird no.3 spot dear heart, fancy!
 
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Valiofthedolls

@Notmycat could you please post the book version of Come to Bed Carbonaraaa? I’ve got the one that was printed in the Guardian but want to be sure it’s the same as the book one

if anyone else is in a carbonaraaa mood, here’s one. You grate interchangeable cheese over it to finish it and rescue with a roux if it splits. Why rosemary and cream are staples of her carbonaraaas and why Rob is part of her family for pumpkin purposes “the family pumpkin” I could not tell you.

Pumpkin and bacon carbonara, for Rob (and everyone else)

“My pumpkin dream always has smoked streaky bacon and Swiss cheese in it…” my friend Rob mused aloud as he carved our family pumpkin at the kitchen table on Friday morning. &#8220…
cookingonabootstrap.com

Also, here are Jack’s twatbreads for anyone who fancies following the direction to make “a rough hole” then ”pour in the yeasty water” and yogurt to make your dough.

Tw*tbreads, 4p [VG/V/DF*]

I joke that ninety-seven percent of the spontaneous conversations that my friends start with me – especially mid afternoon or early in the evening – are panicked cookery conundrums, photographs of …
cookingonabootstrap.com
 
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