Big Keith/Vali Public Service Announcement: In case you’re thinking of making an American version for some reason
(I couldn’t resist, sorry. It’s YEARS since I heard that word
)
Slopalong #2 You can’t polish a turd, but you can cover it in parsley
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(I couldn’t resist, sorry. It’s YEARS since I heard that word
)
The sauce was ok, it could have been nice with some more flavourings and it definitely should have been blended. The pickin' balls just tasted like generic processed meat; there was very little flavour, and most of them fell apart as there wasn't anything to bind them. The grated spam texture was awfulPoor you. That looks dire. And
at “salty soil”. These ninny efforts are truly heroic
@binkbonk what did the Pickin’ Balls taste like? Did the taste live up to the name?
Eeeeeee. I just cackled so loudly
.Honestly, I know I should have grown out of it by now at 50 years old @Valiofthedolls but 'Fanny Pack' still makes me snigger like Muttley.
Omg
Apologies for double posting, I speed grunked and had missed some posts
If only I wasn't so BUSY
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Not to worry tender one, you can just add 50-70g uncooked rice and an extra 50ml water to make a more substantial meal. Apparently.There’s barely anything in that Simple Mushroom Soup - it’s basically a watery broth with 100g of mushrooms chucked in it. I’d be surprised if there’s even 100 calories there. Jeez.
@Notmycat recipe request svp
Tin Can Cook - tit yourself smoothie, Lemon roasted sardines
ETA that's meant to be get up and go smoothie but I copied it from the wiki and didn't even twig
Surely she must have burnt a few pans and ruined some food along the way, in trying her "different" method. I mean, science. There's no way it could have worked, not even randomly. She must know that.
Birthday pizza sauce
Part 1 of 2 of my pizza recipe
Ingredients measured out using scales or measuring spoons, I remember thinking this is a lot of butter.
I followed the recipe to the letter but substituted:
1. a fistful of flat leaf parsley for a fistful of dried parsley
2. 2x 400g chopped tomatoes for 2x 500g passata (but used around 750-800g)
Onions sliced and into the (pre-heated!) butter with the chopped garlic and the fennel seeds.
Cooked for 7 minutes, then added the white wine vinegar and cooked for 2 minutes (1 minute wasn't enough to lose the acrid vinegary smell).
I was very careful not to burn the onions as mentioned in the recipe (no meladromatics here).
The brown bits are fennel seeds not burnt onions.
Remaining ingredients added and mixed well.
Brought to a vigorous boil to spit and splutter for 2 minutes, It went EVERYWHERE.
View media item 3430
After simmering for 20 minutes.
I figured there was enough for taste testing with pasta plus the pizza sauce for tomorrow so I put some spaghetti on and left the sauce to simmer for another 10 minutes for it to become richer and more decadent.
Once the spaghetti was ready I made a well (a sort of hole) and spooned in the sauce.
Apologies for the very not-Jack portion size, this is a large pasta bowl.
Verdict: first impressions are it's rich and thick but the flavour is completely dominated by FENNEL SEEDS and butter. It's not a rich tomato flavour.
I was initially going to be generous and give it a 3 - middle class as it was edible to a point but after eating some the OVERWHELMING taste of FENNEL SEEDS and butter was too much for me, it's unpleasant.
So I'm going with 2 - terrible as a pasta sauce, Jack does say it doubled up as a pasta sauce for the next day but it's really overwhelming.
It's basically fennel sauce.
We'll see how it does as the intended pizza sauce next.
Part 1 of 2 of my pizza recipe
Ingredients measured out using scales or measuring spoons, I remember thinking this is a lot of butter.
I followed the recipe to the letter but substituted:
1. a fistful of flat leaf parsley for a fistful of dried parsley
2. 2x 400g chopped tomatoes for 2x 500g passata (but used around 750-800g)
Onions sliced and into the (pre-heated!) butter with the chopped garlic and the fennel seeds.
Cooked for 7 minutes, then added the white wine vinegar and cooked for 2 minutes (1 minute wasn't enough to lose the acrid vinegary smell).
I was very careful not to burn the onions as mentioned in the recipe (no meladromatics here).
The brown bits are fennel seeds not burnt onions.
Remaining ingredients added and mixed well.
Brought to a vigorous boil to spit and splutter for 2 minutes, It went EVERYWHERE.
View media item 3430
After simmering for 20 minutes.
I figured there was enough for taste testing with pasta plus the pizza sauce for tomorrow so I put some spaghetti on and left the sauce to simmer for another 10 minutes for it to become richer and more decadent.
Once the spaghetti was ready I made a well (a sort of hole) and spooned in the sauce.
Apologies for the very not-Jack portion size, this is a large pasta bowl.
Verdict: first impressions are it's rich and thick but the flavour is completely dominated by FENNEL SEEDS and butter. It's not a rich tomato flavour.
I was initially going to be generous and give it a 3 - middle class as it was edible to a point but after eating some the OVERWHELMING taste of FENNEL SEEDS and butter was too much for me, it's unpleasant.
So I'm going with 2 - terrible as a pasta sauce, Jack does say it doubled up as a pasta sauce for the next day but it's really overwhelming.
It's basically fennel sauce.
We'll see how it does as the intended pizza sauce next.
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Years of practice
I think it was partly my fault, too much wine (can there ever be too much wine) I used a stock pot and thinking back I think the mixed herbs (all herbs are interchangeable) did for it. It may have been more edible with more garlic, more mushrooms and no herbs.
Nothing could have made it more edible. Don't blame yourself for having actual cooking skills.
Excuse me, tender one, Jack learned all about the meat curing process whilst working at the cold meat counter in Asda, thank you very much.
FTFY!!
To be fair to her (much as that pains me) in the recipe for ULTIMATE lasagne on her blog, it does tell you to make a white sauce. But she clearly forgot to do it on DKL and instead of just saying ‘oops I need to make the white sauce’, she LIED to Matt of the forearms and everyone else.
I’m sure there are some people who watched it and thought ‘oh wow - I can just stick it in the oven like she said. Magic!’ Neither she nor the BBC issued a correction and that gave me the rage.
And of course Matt ate the one she’d made earlier which I assume did have a proper white sauce.
@binkbonk - I’ve just cast your video to my tv so I can properly enjoy the BOULEVAAARD. Genius. I also particularly liked the way your hand shook slightly before going into to squeeze the slop into balls.
She can’t make white sauce. It’s beyond her
To be fair to her (much as that pains me) in the recipe for ULTIMATE lasagne on her blog, it does tell you to make a white sauce. But she clearly forgot to do it on DKL and instead of just saying ‘oops I need to make the white sauce’, she LIED to Matt of the forearms and everyone else.
I’m sure there are some people who watched it and thought ‘oh wow - I can just stick it in the oven like she said. Magic!’ Neither she nor the BBC issued a correction and that gave me the rage.
And of course Matt ate the one she’d made earlier which I assume did have a proper white sauce.
@binkbonk - I’ve just cast your video to my tv so I can properly enjoy the BOULEVAAARD. Genius. I also particularly liked the way your hand shook slightly before going into to squeeze the slop into balls.
My slopalong day has arrived. I have my ingredients (my OH bought a tin of fruit cocktail yesterday, under duress).
I just have to wait for my toddler to go down for her nap and I’ve got a 2 hour window for slop.
I just have to wait for my toddler to go down for her nap and I’ve got a 2 hour window for slop.
@binkbonk Bouuulllllleavarddd did me in. I’ve ran it on repeat so many times I’m questioning my sanity.
Haha I also did this to show my OH (“oh, it’s a slop video”). I’ve watched it several times and notice something new every time! It needs to go viral@binkbonk - I’ve just cast your video to my tv so I can properly enjoy the BOULEVAAARD. Genius. I also particularly liked the way your hand shook slightly before going into to squeeze the slop into balls.
@That Forensic Man butter? BUTTER?! Looking forward to seeing how she's fucked up the unfuckable pizzas later
Was browsing the Guardian for some recipe inspiration before I head to Lidl for a slopshop. Came across these…
Still need a recipe, mind you! My brain struggles to focus, DO YOU WANT ME TO STOP BREATHING.
Still need a recipe, mind you! My brain struggles to focus, DO YOU WANT ME TO STOP BREATHING.
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