Delurking from the well (a kind of hole) to say thank-you Frauen und Herren for this thread. I mean, whatever, the internet is *full* of narcissistic grifters putting on a role, but I am E N R A G E D that the people who can least afford it will be wasting time and money on her nonsense, not least as we head into this grim grim winter. I truly hope that someone on or adjacent to these threads who works in media or food publishing is able to do something with the recipe trials here to quietly put her work to bed. Like others, I am antsy that a full public reckoning would only fuel the Tory line of ‘See! No povvos anywhere, only lying single mums’.
I don’t think my soul is stout enough to join you all in en-sloppening BUT can report back from my only foray into
flavourtown hell, the “”””Keralan“”””” aubergine and chickpea curry (
https://cookingonabootstrap.com/2014/05/28/aubergine-and-chickpea-curry/). Of course it was inedible, but comments below on *why* this recipe is such a travesty. FEEL MY AUBERGINE RAGE.
* Aubergines are both expensive and difficult to cook. They suck up a ton of oil (so not necessarily good value for a theoretically low-cost meal). If you mess up how you cook them, they are inedible - just unpleasantly chewy spongy lumps; not even the bland/horrible texture of much of her food but actually something that can’t be eaten. So YOU WOULD THINK that if you’re going to introduce aubergines you would make DARN SURE that you had written a recipe that would result in an EDIBLE MEAL *and* give people confidence to cook aubergines again. Unfortunately - nein, nein mein lieblings.
* The recipe starts with salting the aubergines in a way which is both a) bizarre (wet aubergine????? Generally you would slice it and leave with salt on in a colander) and b) unnecessary as most modern varieties of aubergines have had the bitterness bred out. I *really* want to know which recipe she nicked / adapted this method from.
* Once again: onion and oil in a cold pan, then a *tiny* amount of spice. We’ve covered the horrors of the former point, but I am SO angry about how she treats spice here. Spices need to actually cook! Not just “a little” but enough to mellow them and make them tasty. It feels like JM is some kind of low-budget artificial intelligence model, trained on the language of cooking but not the meaning. If you're selling yourself as a low-budget cook then surely there's a real educational remit to this so people can get the best out of limited ingredients *and* be confident enough to make adaptations around their own cooking???
* Also what is mustard doing in there? Is this some misguided nod to Ash Sarkar’s Fish Finger Bhorta (delicious, would cook again)? Where is the ginger or the fennel or the coconut milk or anything that would actually give this the flavour profile of a Keralan curry????? WORDS MEAN THINGS.
* How big should the aubergine ‘chunks’ be? In the picture (possibly a lie) they look quite wee so should cook quickly, but ‘chunks’ could mean anything. Also wet aubergines will not easily fry in that tiny amount of oil, ALSO aubergines need to be pretty robustly cooked all the way through before any more sauce ingredients are added - otherwise they’ll just soak up other liquids but just remain hot and raw (like me). “Browning the edges” is a fool’s game and I am no fool!
* Then the final round of tomatoes and cook down, which *only* works when you have a strong enough flavour base to cook into the sauce.
* Final insult: the URL says 'aubergine and chickpea curry' (which would at least add protein) but the chickpeas had made a break for freedom by the time the recipe was uploaded.
Honestly, I made this and halfway through thought I was losing my mind - I am a good and confident cook, and yet still doubted myself because the recipe was so bananas that I thought I was missing something. I truly can’t tell if the accompanying photo is of the dish - it seems like too much red chili for what’s on offer, and yet the aubergine seems pretty raw (see how it holds its shape?) so who knows.
GUTEN NACHT, and thank you for letting me rant.
) is a dog trying to get off the sofa and away from Jack, and Jack desperately trying to pull her back down to make it look like a cute ‘wrestle’.I'm assuming that wasn't always the case?
