Oddly enough, using sweet potato is mentioned in the BBC good food gnocchi recipe. Coinicidence? I think I not.
Slopalong #2 You can’t polish a turd, but you can cover it in parsley
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Gah. The supermarket delivery thingI’m sorry ninnies, I’m a flake and I’m doing my slop on Friday now instead.
I was feeling crappy and hormonal and I didn’t think a trip to one of the roughest parts of town followed by slop with slices of pig’s bumhole would have helped my mood
I’m getting a delivery because it’s cheaper than the tram (who knew? I always thought that deliveries from supermarkets required a month’s notice, a treacherous sea voyage and a valiant horseman.)
. I often get deliveries from Ocado. Because I'm prepared to leave it until close to the shut off time I can get free or 99p delivery charge. I also have a meal plan and a proper list so can have a proper look at what I'm buying so stick to a realistic budget.Edit. I realise that makes me sound like an arse. But Ocado in our area are really reliable. On time, no weird subs, rarely anything missing and good use/sell by dates. The other supermarkets aren't great.
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I mean...you fry Potato Scones (aka Tattie Scones if you're Scottish or Potato Farls if you're Irish) on a griddle, and they are very, very good. But they're made with different ingedients and they are much, much thinner and a different texture, and don't rise.
I really think she's got confused somewhere with that recipe and muddled up the two different food items and cooking methods. How peculiar!
Ah yes that does make (Jack)sense. My Harold loves sprouts so I was telling him about the scones and I thought maybe the frying would make sense if they were potato cakes, as I call them. That might actually be really nice.
Ok, confession time (new on this thread). I've not previously paid any attention to Jack.. seen bits and bobs here and there, that's it. Until recently she popped up on my Twitter feed ranting about trolls and bullies. I thought that's a bit mean. Ripping the tit out of the likes of Katie Price and Daniella Westbrook I can understand. But someone trying to do good and help people who are struggling?! Bit mean thought I. So I thought I'd have a nosy on here, wasn't going to stick up for her, (made that mistake before on the Meghan Markle thread)...but I thought I'd see what she could have done that's soooooo bad. And, damn you fine people! I TOTALLY get it!! How the duck is she getting away with it! I can't believe what I'm reading. The bleeping "cake"!! The raw onion curry paste! The "free cos you've already got it"!
Also, by God yous are funny. I've howled with laughter at some of the posts and you all seem lovely, certainly not "nasty evil twolls". I think I read that she joined Tattle? What did she say?
Anyways, hope you don't mind a newbie lurking in the corner. Nice to virtually meet you all.
Also, by God yous are funny. I've howled with laughter at some of the posts and you all seem lovely, certainly not "nasty evil twolls". I think I read that she joined Tattle? What did she say?
Anyways, hope you don't mind a newbie lurking in the corner. Nice to virtually meet you all.
Sorry but I’m laughing my socks off that she makes no mention that you need to grate the cheeseOkay guys - here is the 15 minute, upside down fish pie…..
I gathered my ingredients and weighed them out.
View attachment 1717091
View attachment 1717174
(And yes, that is Maldon Sea Salt in a pinch pot - so what?? Do you want me to STOP EATING SALT??!!!)
The recipe states it serves 4 but my first impressions were that 300g of fish, which equated to 3 fish fillets didn’t seem like much between 4 people.
It also seemed like ALOT of celery!
Into the COLD pan we slop - with a pinch of salt and some cold oil…..
View attachment 1717097
The instructions tell me to fry the onion and celery (from cold, on my highest burner), for 3 mins, then add the frozen veg and fry for 2 mins more…
View attachment 1717109
Reader, they were all still raw by the end of the 5 mins, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt.
Then, I added a crumbled stock cube, dried herbs (1tsp), 1 tbsp of flour, stirred it all in and added 300ml of skimmed UHT milk () gradually until it was all blended.
View attachment 1717115
And then add the fish and covered the pan with a lid - she says the fish should cook in 8 mins
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Near to the end of the fish cooking time, I put 300ml of skimmed UHT milk (
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The next instruction was to microwave this solid paste for 1 minute, stir it and microwave it again for another 1 minute
So, this recipes states that the whole thing takes 15 minutes in one pan - a la a rip off of THAT MAN when his latest show came out (she posted it the night before he did his upside fish pie episode iirc??)
The total time for the recipe as written down by Jack is:
stir fry onions, celery then veg - 5 mins
add flour, milk etc & fish and cook for 8 mins
microwave instant potato for 2 mins
= 15 mins - MAGIC!
However, the potato was only slightly warm after 2 mins in the microwave so I had to put it in for another 2-3 mins, the veg were not cooked through and the fish took more like 10 mins to cook.
A cynical person might think that the times had been made up just to keep the recipe at 15 mins in total
Anyway, just before serving I stirred in the cheese to the sauce and served the mash in a bowl with the sauce on top.
View attachment 1717155
Verdict:
Taste - the mash was extremely bland and tasted of not much at all - I added a bit of the grated cheese to the top of mash to try to give it some flavour, but this did not help.
The fish part just tasted over poweringly of celery, which was still not cooked through properly and none of the flavours combined together.
There was also very little fish per serving - the dish is mainly a white sauce filled with onion, raw celery and other veg and a few bits of fish On top of bland potato.
Process - quite easy although the timings are all wrong. Also, she doesn’t tell you to grate the cheese, just to stir in the 80g cheese. Also, the mash was not cooked after the 2 mins instructed time in the microwave. It is not a 15 minute meal.
Cost - My total cost was £6.50 for the fish, skimmed milk(
Score
3 - Middle Class (not terrible as I did manage to eat it, it just wasn’t very flavoursome and I worked out that one portion only has 344 calories so not very substantial for a main meal.
Reader I would not make this again.
Welcome! She graced us with her presence on thread #31 back in ye old days of 2020Ok, confession time (new on this thread). I've not previously paid any attention to Jack.. seen bits and bobs here and there, that's it. Until recently she popped up on my Twitter feed ranting about trolls and bullies. I thought that's a bit mean. Ripping the tit out of the likes of Katie Price and Daniella Westbrook I can understand. But someone trying to do good and help people who are struggling?! Bit mean thought I. So I thought I'd have a nosy on here, wasn't going to stick up for her, (made that mistake before on the Meghan Markle thread)...but I thought I'd see what she could have done that's soooooo bad. And, damn you fine people! I TOTALLY get it!! How the duck is she getting away with it! I can't believe what I'm reading. The bleeping "cake"!! The raw onion curry paste! The "free cos you've already got it"!
Also, by God yous are funny. I've howled with laughter at some of the posts and you all seem lovely, certainly not "nasty evil twolls". I think I read that she joined Tattle? What did she say?
Anyways, hope you don't mind a newbie lurking in the corner. Nice to virtually meet you all.
Tender ones,
I am stuck home with Covid and the slopalong is giving me life and brining me back to health.
I am a very keen baker and I think I’m not bad at it. Alas I have no Jack recipe books anymore having dispensed of them long ago when I got wise to the grift. Would a kind Frau consider nominating a Jack bake for me to attempt that hasn’t been tackled elsewhere? This could be just the project I need while stuck indoors. For research and posterity purposes.
Thank(space)you
I am stuck home with Covid and the slopalong is giving me life and brining me back to health.
I am a very keen baker and I think I’m not bad at it. Alas I have no Jack recipe books anymore having dispensed of them long ago when I got wise to the grift. Would a kind Frau consider nominating a Jack bake for me to attempt that hasn’t been tackled elsewhere? This could be just the project I need while stuck indoors. For research and posterity purposes.
Thank(space)you
Asked MrEm to pick up my ingredients in the shop tomorrow. He asked what on Earth for? Explained Slopathon. I think if we were married I would soon be divorced. He is HORRIFIED. But will pick up the tins regardless.
I do love a Mary Whitehouse Experience reference.
I've posted this before on the MT threads. I'm going to post it here. I don't know who Jack is catering to with her recipes. It's certainly not families with children and teenagers.
Children and teenagers need huge calorie intake. 300/400 cal meals get no where near what they need. I find it scary and upsetting that anyone thinks these meals are substantial enough to adequately feed children and teenagers. And, frankly, that's before we get to whether they'll 'eat what they are given or go without'.
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Oh - I think I have found my offering. I simply need a tin of fruit cocktail and I can attempt this culinary
wonder
www.prima.co.uk
wonder
You have to try this fruit cocktail cake recipe
Jack Monroe makes the most of tinned fruit in this easy dessert.
The state of that spoon/fork ffs, is tetanus listed in the ingredients?
You know that slice pictured has the only cherry in the tin, don't you dearheart?Oh - I think I have found my offering. I simply need a tin of fruit cocktail and I can attempt this culinary
wonder
View attachment 1718103
You have to try this fruit cocktail cake recipe
Jack Monroe makes the most of tinned fruit in this easy dessert.
The SCANT cherry!!!
eta: can’t see the cake recipe without registering, but I’m guessing you either add the fruit, juice and all, to a cake recipe with all the wrong ratios, thus rendering it CakeSlop, OR, rinse the fruit juice off the fruit and then add water?
I do now that I have read the recipe in forensic, granular detail.
https://tattle.life/wiki/slopalong/ if you look at the top of the page you will find lists of all recipes from each book. Let me know if you want any particular recipe.
It’s rinsed fruit cocktail added to a cake recipe. It’s a “ bejewelled, jolly little number”
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