“Hi Guys. Just quick update from Tomorrowland.
Everyone is saying how cool I look. I look really cool. I’m wearing jewels on my face and it’s really fun and cool.
Ive been recognised a few times from London/Dublin/Bali etc. - everyone keeps saying I definitely don’t look old. Everyone. One girl asked me for ID at the bar cause she said I look about 15.
Nobody’s had a wank over me yet, but when I brushed past one of the stewards in my Ra-Ra skirt I definitely felt something poke me in the arse.
Done 1,500,000 steps so far today. Everyone keeps saying how fit, gorgeous and toned I look. One man ran after me cause he thought I was Gizelle Bunchen from the back (when I turned around he said I was better looking anyway)
Owner of Tomorrowland wants to have a “Furnace” tent next year. It’ll just be a massive tent where people walk in, take loads of money from their pockets and throw it in a big bucket (the bucket will be in the shape of my head). Then they walk out. With nothing. That’s it.
Told him I’d think about it.
Have to go now - David Guetta is looking for the discount code for The Furnace (it’s “ImDefoNotTooOld4TomorrowLand/AskmyFanny)
Seeyiz, wouldn’t wanna be yiz
Jazzy/Electronic Shiv Shiv”