Dont you get it? Washing is for all you losers. All you losers with
(1) Loving husbands/wives/partners/bfs/gfs. Who'd want regular sex/cuddles/hugs/kisses LOL?
(2) A regular job. Who'd want something absorbing and challenging, like actuarial/business/engineering/education/science/retail, when you can wear shite leggings and be a PT after a five day course like me?
(3) Who'd want kids? They cost a fortune and drive you mad and just get in the way! I like my time to myself for the Gram and, err.....cooking..and...em reading classics like Atomic Habits
(4) Cooking? For you plebs. Who'd want bacon n cabbage/sheperds pie/salmon n hollandaise/pasta bolognaise home cooked when you can have Dominos? You guys, so uncultured
(5) Fiction? Like Wake in Fright/Dubliners/Wuthering Heights/The Great Gatsby/1984? All shite. I like real insight from James Smith
(6) Own my own home? Feck that when I can pay a fortune for overpriced short term rentals in places where I have no friends
Basically your lives are crap and mine is great