Simon Harris #6 Even the Duke of Marlborough only charges £4.99 for a tea towel

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His new way of “creating content” is to find a mildly amusing tweet from somebody else, screenshot it, then post it along with one of his crappy jokes above it. His addition is like a comedy black hole that sucks the humour out of everything around it.

He could destroy the finest sketches from the Two Ronnies just by adding one of his shite jokes above em.

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That Ibiza tweet is from 2019. Took him five years to come up with that zinger.

I’ve suspected for a while that he might already own a couple of those tit British meme type accounts that float around twitter. His tit tweets would often be shared on them and they seem to have the same sense of humour (ie rubbish not even dad level jokes).
 
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Weirdly he's shared a photo of the centre of Edinburgh, with an implication that people there are thick etc etc etc, but he's actually given credit for once for the stolen material. But if you look up the twitter account that he's given credit to, it was banned 5 years ago. Makes little sense.
 
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Todays comedy gold is repeatedly posting about the act from Britain's Got Talent where a comedian dressed as a goldfish kept repeating the same jokes as he had no memory. An accidental perfect metaphor for Simon's entire tired routine...

Will he keep posting this all day? Probably.

The real star of Britain’s Got Talent so far.
‘Knock, knock’ …

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Just look at these jokes. Imagine this was your purpose in life at 40 years old. Posting this vacuous, soul destroying bilge in exchange for some pats on the head from a handful of FBPE weirdos.

What an insufferable bore he truly is.

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Hahaha embarrassing. So he stole the trolley joke and still managed to duck it up. The most expensive vehicle to operate is very different to, “the most expensive vehicle I’ve ever owned.” When have you ever owned a shopping trolley, Simon? You utter dipshit. No wonder I couldn’t work out what the duck he was going on about.

The evaporated milk, I assumed was his photo and I had visions of him taking all the tins out of the box just to get his money shot for Facey bantz. I’m not sure if that’s less tragic than just nicking it.

At least he’s managed to go a whole day without mentioning poo or breastfeeding. Small mercies I suppose.
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Episode 475 of: “Why do you hate me getting paid? I’m a content cweator.”

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And now this photo lifted from a Daily Mail article from last May about biscuit prices accompanied by the words "Britain's finished" has managed just under 450 likes in two hours. Can you say "boosted post"? It's beyond tragic.

Edit - beaten to it! 😂

I see he's set his stall out early for tomorrow though. Lots of posts about St George's Day are the way. Bet he does a Stewart Lee "these days" one.

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Somehow his recycling of other people's memes is even more tragic than being an internet prankster. 12 months ago he would have sneered at someone pulling the crap he is now, how the mighty have fallen!
 
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I wonder if Simon might like to avail himself of his meticulous record keeping to clear a few things up...

https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-are-own-first
https://web.archive.org/web/20221207004751/https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-are-own-first

£33K raised on gofundme

£3K raised on facebook

£3K acknowledged as going to the charity - at time of writing gofundme rubric (see above)

it was stated:

More than £3,000 has already been raised on my Facebook page here, and this is going to Community Agents Essex who will be working closely with Afghan families arriving in the county. This will help ensure that they have everything that they need for a comfortable and dignified new start.

His facebook post his here



Community Agents are a service provided by the Rural Council for Essex

Their accounts


"Donations" in each year as follows:

£2340 in 20/21

£2192 in 21/22

£2069 in 22/23

There is, in summary, quite a lot unaccounted for.

It would be very easy to clear up.

Certainly the basis of the fundraiser was that money would go to a specific organisation unless there are other "community agents" operating in Essex, maybe this is the case, run by another charity.

Even if that were the case and all the money could be accounted for, then the basis of the campaign; the confidence of donors knowing that the money would be spent in a particular way, is premised on something different. If, worse, not all of the money (well most of it) didn't find it's way to the intended recepients, then that is an even more serious matter.

Or is he suggesting that the £3000 did go to Community Agents (their accounts don't seem to indicate this was the case unless across two financial years) and the remainder, the £33K, was given by him directly to individual families, in a manner of his choosing?

It's all terribly opaque and questionable and, I suspect, if one were to go through every one of his gofundmes (who has got the energy) then similar questions would arise.

I did suggest some time ago, that he get an accountant to produce some form of retrospective accounts - enabling the public to have confidence in him. But his recent essay; all the work he would have put into crafting that was just, at the end of the day, rhetoric. The real work he could have done would have been to have put his hands in his pocket, use some of the tea towel profits, and provide full financial transparency for the last 4 or 5 years.

But your not going to do that, are you Simon?
 
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I wonder if Simon might like to avail himself of his meticulous record keeping to clear a few things up...

https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-are-own-first
https://web.archive.org/web/20221207004751/https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-are-own-first

£33K raised on gofundme

£3K raised on facebook

£3K acknowledged as going to the charity - at time of writing gofundme rubric (see above)

it was stated:

More than £3,000 has already been raised on my Facebook page here, and this is going to Community Agents Essex who will be working closely with Afghan families arriving in the county. This will help ensure that they have everything that they need for a comfortable and dignified new start.

His facebook post his here



Community Agents are a service provided by the Rural Council for Essex

Their accounts


"Donations" in each year as follows:

£2340 in 20/21

£2192 in 21/22

£2069 in 22/23

There is, in summary, quite a lot unaccounted for.

It would be very easy to clear up.

Certainly the basis of the fundraiser was that money would go to a specific organisation unless there are other "community agents" operating in Essex, maybe this is the case, run by another charity.

Even if that were the case and all the money could be accounted for, then the basis of the campaign; the confidence of donors knowing that the money would be spent in a particular way, is premised on something different. If, worse, not all of the money (well most of it) didn't find it's way to the intended recepients, then that is an even more serious matter.

Or is he suggesting that the £3000 did go to Community Agents (their accounts don't seem to indicate this was the case unless across two financial years) and the remainder, the £33K, was given by him directly to individual families, in a manner of his choosing?

It's all terribly opaque and questionable and, I suspect, if one were to go through every one of his gofundmes (who has got the energy) then similar questions would arise.

I did suggest some time ago, that he get an accountant to produce some form of retrospective accounts - enabling the public to have confidence in him. But his recent essay; all the work he would have put into crafting that was just, at the end of the day, rhetoric. The real work he could have done would have been to have put his hands in his pocket, use some of the tea towel profits, and provide full financial transparency for the last 4 or 5 years.

But your not going to do that, are you Simon?
I said "your" not "you're" just to piss him off
 
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As predicted and in amongst today's batch of reheated memes from at least five years ago

I can’t believe I’ve just been stopped on the M25. The police told me my England flag isn’t safe for my to drive with. Last time I looked we live in English England and it’s St George’s Day. Bet it wouldn’t be a problem if it was a Wales, Scotland or Isle of Wight flag though and we all know why! Britain’s finished. Corbyn is a disgrace.
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I don't really get why he seems to equate loving or being proud of where you are from with bigotry. I bet he wouldn't hold any other country to this odd standard except for probably the USA. Sick of seeing that "Britain's finished" line.
 
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As predicted and in amongst today's batch of reheated memes from at least five years ago



I don't really get why he seems to equate loving or being proud of where you are from with bigotry. I bet he wouldn't hold any other country to this odd standard except for probably the USA. Sick of seeing that "Britain's finished" line.
The UK and England have a real issue with the far Right using the flags, to the point that other people avoid using them. It’s even worse for us hand-wringing FBPE lefties who used to be able to use the EU flag instead.
Anyway, happy St George’s day, I guess. Everyone’s favourite Catholic Turkish saint.
 
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The UK and England have a real issue with the far right using the flags, to the point that other people avoid using them. It’s even worse for us hand-wringing FBPE lefties who used to be able to use the EU flag instead.
Anyway, happy St George’s day, I guess. Everyone’s favourite Catholic Turkish saint.

Well it's pretty much just England isn't it? You never see the Saltire being associated with the far right. Or at least not in my experience.

Also there it is! The Stewart Lee post


Welcome to the ‘You can’t say you’re English anymore or they arrest you and put you in jail’ thread, a place to test the theory that if you say you’re English (these days) then they will arrest you and throw you in jail.
I am English. You can write in the comments if you are English. We’ll give it a few hours and then do a quick count up to see how many of us have been arrested. Feel free to add an England flag too for a fully comprehensive experiment.
 
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I immediately got 'Glory Days' by Bruce Springsteen in my head

omg just noticed he did the captions
 
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Another day spamming old memes as usual. What is the point of the page any more? Radio 2 are never calling again. No more gofundme campaigns as I imagine they have said no to any more otherwise he'd surely have started a new one by now. It's genuinely tragic. He's just an angry waste of space shouting at the clouds at this point.
 
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Imagine being a big scammy twit making money all over, and having nothing to show for it.
 
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Imagine being a big scammy twit making money all over, and having nothing to show for it.
“My friend bunged me 500 grand and all I’ve got is this lousy Coca-Cola T-shirt.”

Print that on a hilarious novelty napkin please, Si.
 
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