BUT THEY’VE GOT MONEY FOR …’ APRIL 2024 EDITION
Your ‘cut out and keep’ thread of responses to every idiot abusing people on social media who admit they’re worried about the cost of living now.
‘ … A FLAT-SCREEN TV.’ If you want a non-flat screen these days, you need to ram raid a local museum or employ a team of electricians and engineers so advanced that you would need to go head-hunting at NASA. People literally give them away on Facebook Marketplace FFS.
‘ … A SMARTPHONE.’ Have you tried applying for any sort of benefits without Internet access? Not everyone wants to go and sit in a library next to local character Dave The Dog Molester whose search history makes Gary Glitter’s PC World visit look like a CBeebies Bedtime Story.
‘ … BOOZE.’ You make it sound like they’re quaffing bathtubs of Moet at Salt Bae’s gaff, but in reality they’re just looking for whatever’s cheapest in Lidl to give them a few blessed hours of relief from this unbearable bleeping shitshow.
‘ … SKY TV.’ Not everyone with a dish is paying £100+ for the Megabox Ultimate Family Mega Super Wanky Shiny Shiny Package. Loads of places don’t even have a Freeview aerial because the developer couldn’t be arsed, so they can grab an old Sat receiver off eBay and crack on.
‘ … WI-FI.’ Applying for literally anything these days aside, there are actually kindhearted souls out there who will give their router password to a neighbour when they’re on their arse.
‘ … A CAR.’ Have you seen the state of public transport in this country lately if you happen to live somewhere that isn’t London? For some, it’s literally a case of shelling out a fortune to run a car or literally nothing else because of work, school, caring commitments etc.
‘ … <<RANDOM LUXURY ITEM>>.’ Ever heard of gift cards, birthday presents, or quite simply a one-off ‘f**k it’ that for many will lead to feelings of overwhelming guilt anyway?
‘ … NETFLIX.’ Mate there are literally three people in the UK who pay for Netflix. Everyone else is using their details.
Who are ‘they’ anyway? Hasn’t it sunk in yet that the current cost of living crisis is pulling people into your ‘they’ category that don’t fit your bigoted, f**kheaded idea of someone who is struggling financially? Six grand a year for energy would even put some of the Waitrose brigade into dire straits, so shut up.
‘ … NON-ESSENTIAL FOOD ITEM.’ People donate this sort of stuff to food banks so that those who rely upon them get an occasional glimmer of joy while simultaneously feeling all sorts of horribleness about needing this ‘last resort’ to keep their families fed.
‘ … HOLIDAYS.’ Do you know why ‘We’re going away with Nanny and Grandad’ is such a popular phrase? Because so often it’s ‘Nanny and Grandad’ who feel compelled to use their own limited spending power to give their loved ones a few days of excitement.
‘ … TROLLEYS OF SHOPPING.’ The f**k do you want people to do for food when food banks aren’t an option? Grab a spear and head down the high street to try and bag a mammoth?
‘ … LITERALLY ANYTHING NOT AT HOME.’ You do realise that there are people out there who are genuinely terrified of going home every … single … evening, don’t you? However horrible you think some people’s daily ordeals are, multiply them by fifty and you’re closer to the mark.
IT HAS HAPPENED PEOPLE!!! 
