Secret Celebrity Gossip #100

[Gym&Tonic]

People who have Bowel Cancer can get their Rectum removed and there is no offer to let them have a rubber Rectum so they are hardly going to invent one for Joanna Lumley and her supposedly cocaine damaged arse!

My grandad had his rectum completely stitched up and he had a bag for the rest of his life. A rubber hole presumably wasn’t offered to him either.

 

[Badirene]

Probably a controversial one, but it really gets on my nerves when a relatively minor celebrity dies and people act like they have lost a limb or a loved one, despite having never mentioned them before.

The latest example is that DJ from the Ellen DeGeneres Show - you absolutely never heard his name mentioned before but, now he has died, people are acting as if one of the nearest and dearest croaked in front of them on the living room floor.

Paul Walker was a similarly weird one – not somebody who many people could pick out of the lineup and, if they could, it would be as “that bald bloke from Fast and Furious”. But he was suddenly everyone’s favourite actor of all time when he died.

I hate the phrase “virtue signalling” and find it quite a lazy catch-all but that’s what this is – people latching onto the grief of an obscure famous person to make out that they are some sympathetic martyr.

That Paul Walker gave me the absolute boak , everyone acting like this great acting talent was gone from this world, when all he was was another pedalo dating teenage girls, when he died at 40, he girlfriend was 23 but they started dating when she was 16 and were living together by the time she was 17 ( age of consent in California is 18). The girlfriend before her was also 16, when he was 28, they actually met as she was his daughter's babysitter. He was a scumbag but treated like Mother Theresa when he died.

 

[LaBlonde]

That Paul Walker gave me the absolute boak , everyone acting like this great acting talent was gone from this world, when all he was was another pedalo dating teenage girls, when he died at 40, he girlfriend was 23 but they started dating when she was 16 and were living together by the time she was 17 ( age of consent in California is 18). The girlfriend before her was also 16, when he was 28, they actually met as she was his daughter's babysitter. He was a scumbag but treated like Mother Theresa when he died.

thank you for saying this!! people talked about him like he was a saint (and any mention of this would just get deleted from the comments of most articles about him).

 

[Whl1994]

I think its a mix of he has realised that he has no other career now and wanting to get some appearance money from right wing media outlets Like Fox News; but mainly the fact that he is an utter knob cheese.

I will link his Jeremy Vine singing gig for sheer comedy value. Not sure if it will work though. (Give me a break if it doesn’t work, I’m over 60)

What a knob

 

[Britbloke]

I saw the first series she is fantastic in it.

I keep meaning to check this out. I saw Billie Piper in Yerma at the Young Vic a few years back and she was outstanding.

Side note: Juliet Stevenson was in the audience (first few rows) and you could see Billie beaming when JS genuinely applauded at the end.

 

[childofthe70s]

I wish someone would find the edition of They Think It's All Over in which Balding desperately tried to pretend she fancied various blokes. She hadn't come out then, obviously, but everyone pretty much knew her preferences, so it was one of those cases where only she seemed to think she was acting in a believable manner. She was behaving as if she'd studied a late Carry On move, mainly Sid James' scenes, and had rehearsed them in front of the mirror. Then of course she later reinvented herself as an out and proud figure who tut-tutted at such fabrications. She always acts as though she's watching herself on a monitor - very cynical and self-aware.

I found this one from 1999

 

[Ubu1uk]

Regarding Clare Balding, didn’t her wife give up her successful career to manage Balding’s glorious trajectory on the BBC? Pretty sure she did as I used to think she was pretty rubbish as a manager as at the time we couldn’t escape her she was everywhere. I didn’t mind her on the racing but she fucked that up by telling the BBC not to bother unless it was the big meeetings so they lost it entirely.

I have read that stuffing a vodka infused tampon is a way fir alcoholics to get their fix if they are on Antebuse. I am very happy that Joanna does not have a rubber anus too.

Merry Christmas everyone and keep a lookout for that master assassin Sir Cliffy, he is everywhere.

 

[thegirlscout]

I bet Billie Piper is glad she’s rid of him

 

[petitspois]

So tempted to look up Lumley’s rubber anus - not literally, but via Google - but dare not.

I doubt there’s a pic of Lumley’s bum hole on the web. Rubber or not. Anyway, how would we know it was hers? She’d have to be bent over and peeping through her legs so we could see her face

 

[ForeverMakingJibesWicked]

Fox was on a Celeb Survival programme with Bear Grylls. His cousin Emilia was on it too. He was such a baby. He had to leave I think. Ferrety fucker. A heinous crime is his singing.

Talking of the Fox family, I swear that Laurence Fox is Richard Ayoade’s brother in law, in Xmas shopping hell right now but will fact check this shortly

 

[Ubu1uk]

Surely the Mail is trolling us now? And yes Richard Ayoade is brother in law to Mr Fox.

 

[princessmaire80]

Talking of the Fox family, I swear that Laurence Fox is Richard Ayoade’s brother in law, in Xmas shopping hell right now but will fact check this shortly

You are correct. Richard Ayoade is married to Lydia, who is Laurence’s sister.

 

[Mark81]

Probably a controversial one, but it really gets on my nerves when a relatively minor celebrity dies and people act like they have lost a limb or a loved one, despite having never mentioned them before.

The latest example is that DJ from the Ellen DeGeneres Show - you absolutely never heard his name mentioned before but, now he has died, people are acting as if one of the nearest and dearest croaked in front of them on the living room floor.

Paul Walker was a similarly weird one – not somebody who many people could pick out of the lineup and, if they could, it would be as “that bald bloke from Fast and Furious”. But he was suddenly everyone’s favourite actor of all time when he died.

I hate the phrase “virtue signalling” and find it quite a lazy catch-all but that’s what this is – people latching onto the grief of an obscure famous person to make out that they are some sympathetic martyr.

I agree but in general, not just minor ones. There's a line in the song Oh What a Circus in Evita

'Falling over ourselves to get all, of the misery right'

And that's how I find social media, and the media in general. There is the occasional famous death that makes me a little sad, but 'devastated' and rip'iing all over the place, no.

Paul walker wasn't the bald one in fast and furios though lol

 

[thenorthremembers]

Who cares, she’s an absolute melt trying to stay relevant and hide the fact she’s a racist and a bully. She always annoyed me poor man’s bad Streisand impersonator

Oh I know but she’s made a right mess to her face. Stupid girl.

Thw nicest guy in Hollywood image is way too good to be true. I've read a few stories like this. I think he's an incredible actor and I love all his 80s and 90s films but I wouldn't be surprised if he was difficult.

Look at Keanu Reeves. Now he is a nice guy.

 

[L3moning]

I bet Billie Piper is glad she’s rid of him
View attachment 1827426

bleeping ludicrous thing to say.

 

[Boredofgrey]

……the turns this thread takes. Makes me absolutely howl! Merry Christmas all………I’m in no way off to soak a tampax in voddie before my in laws arrive……….

 

[Coniferhedge]

I feel so sorry for Billie Piper. It goes without saying, I’m sure she absolutely adores her boys and wouldn’t change anything about them for the world, but having him as their father means that she’s got a connection with him for life, or at least until they’re about 18. If I was her I wouldn’t want him having contact. He seems unhinged. Wouldn’t surprise me if he started on the Fathers For Justice bullshit next.

 

[L3moning]

Wouldn’t surprise me if he started on the Fathers For Justice bullshit next.

He's already said things in that kind of direction, iirc.

 

[thenorthremembers]

Wtf Is wrong with him?!

So tempted to look up Lumley’s rubber anus - not literally, but via Google - but dare not.

I love this thread.. cliff the murderer.. Joanna’s rubber anus what next

 

[L3moning]

Wtf Is wrong with him?!

Hes a bleep