Scousebird blogs #11 Rent a daughter, rent a mate, Jeff has every narcissistic trait!

[SpiceWeasel]

Yeh same me and my mate are the same height but im all legs. Something thats knee length on me is half way down her calf
Oooo look at you making pjs. Show off. Dabs talents are endless. Im so proud


Thats what i meant

I’m the same most pants look like pedal pushers on me! Aw I’m still learning but lockdown certainly helped

Wonder when Jeff will lower herself to start advertising vibrators like the rest of Scouse Twitter.

There’s an IGTV of her ages ago like “I’ve been sent some sex toys to try but I have a husband HeHeHeHe then a week later she addressed the nation to say the marriage was over.

Oh god! I might as well ask Mr SW to start planning my funeral if that’s going to happen, Jeff talking about vibrators would be instant death by cringeing

I’m going the gym as soon as I can and I’ll even go out for a run if that’s all I can do. One last night on the Russian standard then it’s back to work and eating cucumber on cracker bread until Easter.


I remember that. Her and jakes ma probably try them as the sausages are cooking on the Yankee candle. The relationship couldn’t get any weirder as it is anyway

I’m meant to be texting my SW consultant my weight tomorrow. Sorry my phone broke x

 

[Yerma]

I’m the same most pants look like pedal pushers on me! Aw I’m still learning but lockdown certainly helped



Oh god! I might as well ask Mr SW to start planning my funeral if that’s going to happen, Jeff talking about vibrators would be instant death by cringeing



I’m meant to be texting my SW consultant my weight tomorrow. Sorry my phone broke x

Mine stopped texting me ages ago I’m better off doing alone without the pressure and side eye when I put half a pound on.

 

[Lexlexloulou]

This is really sad but is anyone going to be joining tattle book club. I got a notification
I do a lot of reading anyway and my stepnan dropped off a load of old tat in a 13 year old kwiksave bag (i tit u not - and i still read it) so it can't be worse than that

 

[SpiceWeasel]

Mine stopped texting me ages ago I’m better off doing alone without the pressure and side eye when I put half a pound on.

I thought that but I was actually doing okay with it before Christmas, it keeps me accountable I have no will power otherwise it is a complete farce though my consultant has been doing it since the dawn of time and is definitely nowhere near ‘target’

This is really sad but is anyone going to be joining tattle book club. I got a notification
I do a lot of reading anyway and my stepnan dropped off a load of old tat in a 13 year old kwiksave bag (i tit u not - and i still read it) so it can't be worse than that

Yes I am the book came today! Totally not my usual cup of tea at all, I was hoping for the other one, I’ll give it a go though

 

[Asevithankstome]

Wonder when Jeff will lower herself to start advertising vibrators like the rest of Scouse Twitter.

There’s an IGTV of her ages ago like “I’ve been sent some sex toys to try but I have a husband HeHeHeHe then a week later she addressed the nation to say the marriage was over.

Addressed the nation

 

[Sosig]

Are the gyms in Liverpool still open? I’m lost as to what’s allowed and what isn’t

Gyms can stay open in tier 3 x

 

[Lexlexloulou]

I thought that but I was actually doing okay with it before Christmas, it keeps me accountable I have no will power otherwise it is a complete farce though my consultant has been doing it since the dawn of time and is definitely nowhere near ‘target’



Yes I am the book came today! Totally not my usual cup of tea at all, I was hoping for the other one, I’ll give it a go though

Ive never done sw in my life cos i just used to do insane amounts of exercise then that stopped but i was already over 30 so now i just accept it as i am, potatoes are my fave thing so may as well look like one. But my mum told me that you get it free if u stay on target but everyone in her group of like 25 all pay and shes been going 5 years

Same i would normally turn my nose up that that but after wading through the kwikky bag of shite during lockdown i saw it was only 99p so it deffo cant get any worse. Starting it tomorrow!!

Addressed the nation

That tickled me too

 

[Trollinell]

Gyms can stay open in tier 3 x

Fab! I go to classes but they’re not on are they? Will have to get my arse down the gym tomorrow

 

[SpiceWeasel]

Ive never done sw in my life cos i just used to do insane amounts of exercise then that stopped but i was already over 30 so now i just accept it as i am, potatoes are my fave thing so may as well look like one. But my mum told me that you get it free if u stay on target but everyone in her group of like 25 all pay and shes been going 5 years

Same i would normally turn my nose up that that but after wading through the kwikky bag of shite during lockdown i saw it was only 99p so it deffo cant get any worse. Starting it tomorrow!!


That tickled me too

I’ve just been dramatically reading the blurb to Mr SW I used to read similar when I was bored staying at my Gran’s so maybe it will be a bit of nostalgia

Everyone who is a member of my group has also been there since before dinosaurs went extinct. I read Jeff’s blog about SW the other day when I was trawling through and it is actually funny if you didn’t know who was writing it I reckon Jeff’s back on slimming world with the Pinch of Nom recipe (on a food blog, I can’t even )

 

[Sosig]

I can’t get over her sending emails to customers saying happy new tier yano, she has no shame.

Fab! I go to classes but they’re not on are they? Will have to get my arse down the gym tomorrow

I’m too shy for classes so I wouldn’t know

I’ve just been dramatically reading the blurb to Mr SW I used to read similar when I was bored staying at my Gran’s so maybe it will be a bit of nostalgia

Everyone who is a member of my group has also been there since before dinosaurs went extinct. I read Jeff’s blog about SW the other day when I was trawling through and it is actually funny if you didn’t know who was writing it I reckon Jeff’s back on slimming world with the Pinch of Nom recipe (on a food blog, I can’t even )

I bought one of the PON books ages ago think I’ve used it once but Jeff is so good at making food look bleeping awful

 

[Beepbeepfiat500]

Addressed the nation

“ next slide please”

 

[Sosig]

“ next slide please”

*graph showing paul’s height and comedy value*

“He’s tall, he’s funny! Get in his DMs! Next slide please”

 

[Tomi2015]

My mates just rang me fuming she’s just got an email from Scouse Bird Shop (I will have words with her about her subscriptions at a later date) saying happy new tier. I know you can’t be doom & gloom about everything but I can’t help feel it’s a bit bleeping insensitive given it’s literally minutes after the tier announcement.

Is that meant to be funny?
she’s about as funny as AIDS the stupid insensitive bleep

 

[SpiceWeasel]

I can’t get over her sending emails to customers saying happy new tier yano, she has no shame.


I’m too shy for classes so I wouldn’t know


I bought one of the PON books ages ago think I’ve used it once but Jeff is so good at making food look bleeping awful

You need a degree in chemical engineering to make some of their recipes. Plus they are well shady, probably why Jeff likes them

Fab! I go to classes but they’re not on are they? Will have to get my arse down the gym tomorrow

No, we were Tier 3 the gym was open but no classes.

 

[Lexlexloulou]

I’ve just been dramatically reading the blurb to Mr SW I used to read similar when I was bored staying at my Gran’s so maybe it will be a bit of nostalgia

Everyone who is a member of my group has also been there since before dinosaurs went extinct. I read Jeff’s blog about SW the other day when I was trawling through and it is actually funny if you didn’t know who was writing it I reckon Jeff’s back on slimming world with the Pinch of Nom recipe (on a food blog, I can’t even )

I just try n be healthy 5 ish days and eat what i want weekends but as i said im slightly potato shapes but i dont mind. I remember when as a kid my child minder went to one where u put on a pig mask if you put on weight (im in my 30s ) Imagine that in 2020

I read one of her blogs the other day and i did used to love them. But i started to go off her even when she still just had a website cos all the ads

Is that meant to be funny?
she’s about as funny as AIDS the stupid insensitive bleep

Bet its took her since the last update of the tiers to think of it as well. Well done for your 2 week joke

 

[SpiceWeasel]

I just try n be healthy 5 ish days and eat what i want weekends but as i said im slightly potato shapes but i dont mind. I remember when as a kid my child minder went to one where u put on a pig mask if you put on weight (im in my 30s ) Imagine that in 2020

I read one of her blogs the other day and i did used to love them. But i started to go off her even when she still just had a website cos all the ads

I’ve read stories like that, it’s shocking! Not so live laugh love then were they tbh I don’t follow the plan 100% I know what I’m doing, it’s just cos I’m paying someone £5 a week to log my weight and I’ll look like a head if I don’t lose anything if I try and do it on my own I just look at the scales and go ‘it’s a no from me’

I used to love her blog but started to go off her when I found her personal Twitter/the big unveil

 

[Asevithankstome]

I just try n be healthy 5 ish days and eat what i want weekends but as i said im slightly potato shapes but i dont mind. I remember when as a kid my child minder went to one where u put on a pig mask if you put on weight (im in my 30s ) Imagine that in 2020

I read one of her blogs the other day and i did used to love them. But i started to go off her even when she still just had a website cos all the ads


Bet its took her since the last update of the tiers to think of it as well. Well done for your 2 week joke

I think I started finding her to be smug when she posted a video holding a bottle of Lucozade saying she was taking it for Slimmer of the week and then posted a video after the class of her drinking it finishing off with a cackle and another layer of smugness on her face.

 

[Lexlexloulou]

I’ve read stories like that, it’s shocking! Not so live laugh love then were they tbh I don’t follow the plan 100% I know what I’m doing, it’s just cos I’m paying someone £5 a week to log my weight and I’ll look like a head if I don’t lose anything if I try and do it on my own I just look at the scales and go ‘it’s a no from me’

I used to love her blog but started to go off her when I found her personal Twitter/the big unveil

Hahahha there was no 'be kind' back then. Just 'Get the pig mask on Karen u heffer'

I cant remember the big reveal, i musnt of been a fan at that point. I do remember she was fuming when she was still anon when someone had the audacity to ask if she was scouse bird when she was out for a night out. Well she posted a photo of her legs in a taxi and you could her dress and hideous wrist tattoos. Like pity about someone liking you but if you dont wanna be interrupted drinking your handbag vod then dont post on fb

 

[SpiceWeasel]

Hahahha there was no 'be kind' back then. Just 'Get the pig mask on Karen u heffer'

I cant remember the big reveal, i musnt of been a fan at that point. I do remember she was fuming when she was still anon when someone had the audacity to ask if she was scouse bird when she was out for a night out. Well she posted a photo of her legs in a taxi and you could her dress and hideous wrist tattoos. Like pity about someone liking you but if you dont wanna be interrupted drinking your handbag vod then dont post on fb

The sad thing is she’d kill for that to happen now

 

[12055584]

I thought that but I was actually doing okay with it before Christmas, it keeps me accountable I have no will power otherwise it is a complete farce though my consultant has been doing it since the dawn of time and is definitely nowhere near ‘target’

love those OG SLimming World consultants that haven’t been on target in at least a decade, it’s just about socialising at this point. Ours used to basically say ‘oh well, as long as you’re happy’ no Pat, very far from happy, that’s why I’ve dragged my fat arse to this freezing church hall on a tues, 2 hrs after works finished, so have been lingering around like a coiled spring waiting to learn my fate and am absolutely starving, need a bit of a push if I’m honest, thought you was the gal to help ???