IN THE OFFICE:
Sallie skips in through the revolving door dressed head to toe in gifted neon loungewear looking over her shoulder to spot who’s looking at her.
She does the splits in the middle of the communal kitchen and whips her phone from down her AliExpress 5p bra and starts “job searching”
SALLIE: SOYYYYYY.. this one *double taps her phone screen*
She decides to take a seat at a desk now so that she can focus on the phone call she’s about to make:
ring ring.. ring ring.
RECRUITMENT: BUMHOLE RECRUITMENT HOW CAN I HELP????
SALLIE: *thick scouse accent* SOYY IVE JUST NOTICED YOUR DEAD BOSS JOB ASVERTISEMENT FOR A CHEF? LIVERPOOL BASED?
RECRUITMENT: AH YEAH OKAY, CAN I ASK SOME QUESTIONS RELATED TO THE ROLE?
SALLIE: *scottish accent* YEAH SURE
RECRUITMENT: GREAT, IF YOU WERE TO GET THE ROLE AS HEAD CHEF AT LONDON BASED 2 MICHELIN STAR RESTAURANT “FILTH” WHAT WOULD YOU BRING TO THE TEAM?
SALLIE: SOYYY, I WAS ON BIG BROTHER 10 YEARS AGO SO I THINK I WOULD DRAW CUSTOMERS IN/CREATE MORE REVENUE AS IM HEAVILY RECOGNISED AS CLINGING TO MY 1 MINUTE OF FAME *sucks her teeth and whips out her burger nip*
I CAN POACH EGGS AMAZING AND I CAN USE CRABSTICKS 7 DIFFERENT WAYS *tilts head*
I AM GOOD AT MANAGING FINANCES AS I EARN SIDE MONEY FROM SELLING PHOTOS OF MY BODY SO I REGULARLY USE PAYPAL SO IM SURE I COULD DO RESTAURANT ADMIN. I WOULD NEED TO BE PAID CASH IN HAND SO IT DOESNT AFFECT MY UNIVERSAL CREDIT. SOYYYY WHAT DO YOU THINK?
*phone line goes dead*
Sallie skips in through the revolving door dressed head to toe in gifted neon loungewear looking over her shoulder to spot who’s looking at her.
She does the splits in the middle of the communal kitchen and whips her phone from down her AliExpress 5p bra and starts “job searching”
SALLIE: SOYYYYYY.. this one *double taps her phone screen*
She decides to take a seat at a desk now so that she can focus on the phone call she’s about to make:
ring ring.. ring ring.
RECRUITMENT: BUMHOLE RECRUITMENT HOW CAN I HELP????
SALLIE: *thick scouse accent* SOYY IVE JUST NOTICED YOUR DEAD BOSS JOB ASVERTISEMENT FOR A CHEF? LIVERPOOL BASED?
RECRUITMENT: AH YEAH OKAY, CAN I ASK SOME QUESTIONS RELATED TO THE ROLE?
SALLIE: *scottish accent* YEAH SURE
RECRUITMENT: GREAT, IF YOU WERE TO GET THE ROLE AS HEAD CHEF AT LONDON BASED 2 MICHELIN STAR RESTAURANT “FILTH” WHAT WOULD YOU BRING TO THE TEAM?
SALLIE: SOYYY, I WAS ON BIG BROTHER 10 YEARS AGO SO I THINK I WOULD DRAW CUSTOMERS IN/CREATE MORE REVENUE AS IM HEAVILY RECOGNISED AS CLINGING TO MY 1 MINUTE OF FAME *sucks her teeth and whips out her burger nip*
I CAN POACH EGGS AMAZING AND I CAN USE CRABSTICKS 7 DIFFERENT WAYS *tilts head*
I AM GOOD AT MANAGING FINANCES AS I EARN SIDE MONEY FROM SELLING PHOTOS OF MY BODY SO I REGULARLY USE PAYPAL SO IM SURE I COULD DO RESTAURANT ADMIN. I WOULD NEED TO BE PAID CASH IN HAND SO IT DOESNT AFFECT MY UNIVERSAL CREDIT. SOYYYY WHAT DO YOU THINK?
*phone line goes dead*