Hey guys, I'm going to show you this expensive handheld machine to try and get you to purchase it, although I got mine for free. I'm going to go on for about three minutes, so just skip this part. I've had botox and that's my anti-aging, see how I hardly touch my forehead, let's move on. Hey guys, I'm cooking dinner, I'm making fish pie, oh look dog poo, let's continue to talk about dinner. Anywho, I'm making a fish pie, I tell you this about six times, and I made a chicken and mushroom pie yesterday, I like pies. I'm really, really tempted to go veggie, because I don't really understand how it works, like we only eat chicken, like, once a week, and we have fish once a week, and the rest of the week is pasta, I mean veggie, I mean takeout. Here I admit I don't buy enough food to feed a family of six, but I do it for ethical reasons. I know all about ethical things because I'm so ethical. I would never go vegan, for sure, because that's too ethical, but I have been vegetarian in the past, I mean pescatarian, maybe, but I'd really like to go vegetarian for ethical reasons because I love animals, but I have an ED and what I said is a reasonable argument for not doing it. However, as many of you know my ED disappeared because I phone called a lady in the US so now I can go veggie. Now, back to the fish pie, I don't mind eating the fish. I like seafood, but I love animals, you see how well my dogs are kept. I really want to go veggie, but I love squid, the animal, not the game, but then I watched this clip about an octopus, and it changed my life, I'll still eat the fish, not the octopus. It's time, though, I've always been a huge animal lover and I have an aunt who is veggie. She is an amazing lady who sticks with her convictions, unlike me. I craved meat with both boys, how masculine of me. I ate chicken again with Emelia, but then I had an eating disorder, and it still appears that I have very blatant ED tendencies to this day. Did y'all like my deep discussions? I'm so deep. Again, I admit that the fish pie filling isn't enough to feed a family of six, but I still do it, because honestly they just wait for me to give them chocolate. Here I state that the kids aren't big meat eaters, but I'm the one that feeds them so they aren't actually able to have a varied array of foods to form an opinion. I get stuff out of my frig and point out my kids are using the hell out of the hot chocolate machine because that's healthy. Oh look at my neck, my thick makeup that I run down the entire length of my neck on an ordinary day of doing nothing has creased. I look at my phone for hours, no wonder. Here I make the fish pie. I point out the weather, you have that, don't you, weather? I make dinner early, remember like last time I made it at lunchtime, y'all I'm a chef. I cook dinner early because I'm less stressed, even though that meal took less than thirty minutes to put together. My nerves are more important than a decent hot-cooked meal, even though the kids aren't in school at this moment. Oh, I got some things for the kids. I got Edwardo a unicorn onesie because that sounds right for a gymnastics class. Y'all know, like a full-blown nighttime onesie because our gym is extra like that and teaches nothing apparently. He has to be just like his sister, so Jonathan is trying to arrange that, but blue and meat, am I right. I got Emilia one also, our gym likes full fabric clothing to practice backflips. Nothing like a spotter unable to see where their hands are going. Now of course Emilia is now a teenager, she had to have a leopard print or we'd never hear the end of it. I got Andrea a bat costume, it feels pretty horrible, like it should be made of real bat material or it's crap. OMG, it's made out of 100% polyester, I mean it was good enough for my Christmas pajama line, but FFS that shit should go on my own kid. It's cute and basic though. I asked him if he wanted to be a zombie because I'm trying to cut back, but he said no, he didn't want to be anything but kept going back and forth on pumpkin and bat. I said hell no to the pumpkin because he was one already and when he wears orange it reminds me that I need to take another millimeter off his hair. Emilia is going to be a zombie bride, you know what the other two are going to be. How could you miss the tik tok?? I burned my fish pie, I'm still going to serve to the kids and fox, how ethical. Here I'm scrapping out all the burnt into the casserole dish, you can't see it or you'll vomit. Did you guys really think I'd stoop so low and eat that burnt pie, no we got take out to watch You. Here I take a dig at intuitive eating, oh yeah, this was our date night, I show JONATHAN'S giant-ass glass of wine, look at my egg. I talk about making tofu and laugh at how I can't cook it, I mean I can't really cook, but hey. Garbage, GARBAGE, I gotta go inhale my dinner as I intuitively eat. Night y'all.
This is what I hear when she talks, I don't know about you guys, this is just allegedly heard from my iPhone.
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